Learn English Conversation

Vanessa: Hey! What  

have you been up to lately? If I asked you this  question, would you go, not much? I don't know  

what to say? Well, will never fear because  in today's lesson over the next 30 minutes,  

you are going to learn my top tips for having  a successful conversation in English so that  

you can breathe easy and have wonderful  conversations in English. Hi, I'm Vanessa  

from speakenglishwithvanessa.com, and like always,  I have created a free PDF worksheet with all of  

the important information from today's lesson.  Every tip, every trick, every sample sentence,  

and in the bottom of this worksheet, you can  answer Vanessa's challenge question so that you  

never forget what you've learned. You can click  on the link in the description to download that  

free PDF worksheet today. All right, let's  get started having wonderful conversations  

in English by learning some of the things that  you learned in the classroom and compare those  

to what we actually use in real life when we're  having real conversations in English. Let's see.

You may have spent a lot of time in the classroom  with an English teacher who taught you lots of  

rules of English, and it is true that English has  a lot of rules just like any language, but did  

you know that in order to speak fluent English,  there are a few rules that you need to break.  

If you're someone who loves to break  rules, this is a dream for you,  

but if you are a rule follower, you're going  to need to take a deep breath because these  

are essential rules to break if you want to  be fluent in English. Let's get started with  

rule number one that you should break to  speak fluent English. Let's imagine that  

someone calls you and you don't recognize the  number, you don't know who it is, and they say,  

"Hi. Is this Vanessa?" You think, oh yeah,  that's me, but I don't know who you are.

Well, in the classroom, you would be taught  the phrase, to whom am I speaking? To whom am I  

speaking? This is very formal. You might hear this  in a TV show using old proper English from a long  

time ago, but in daily conversational English,  we would not use this, so what could you say  

instead? If someone calls you and you don't know  who they are, you want to ask, but what's a good  

question? You could ask, who am I speaking with?  Or you could just simply ask, who's this? You're  

using the word who instead of whom. We rarely use  whom in daily conversation, so you're switching up  

the grammar of this and you're saying, who's this?  Who am I speaking with? Technically, this phrase,  

who am I speaking with breaks another important  rule we'll talk about a little bit later.

Classroom English rule number two  that we often break in fluent English,  

that's this one. There are a lot of problems with  this plan. Okay, this is grammatically correct.  

There are a lot of problems with this plan, but  you know what? In fast conversational English,  

you're more likely to hear there's a lot of  problems with this plan as a contraction,  

there is, but this is wrong. This is incorrect.  There is problems, the word problems is plural,  

so technically we need a plural verb. There are  problems, but in daily conversation, and you  

will hear me use this a lot in my English lessons  because it's just the way that we speak and that's  

what I'm trying to teach you daily conversational  English. We will use the contraction of there  

is there's with a plural object. There's a lot  of problems. Well, it's incorrect technically,  

but it's used all the time in daily conversational  English, so I give you permission to use it.

Classroom English rule number three that  is often broken in advanced fluent English,  

it's this one. If I were from France, I  would speak French. This is grammatically  

correct. It's a beautiful sentence, but  do we use this in daily conversation?  

Maybe like 15% of the time, 20% of the time.  Instead, what are people more likely to say? Well,  

you're more likely to hear the first part  of this differently. If I was from France,  

I would speak French. Technically, it should  be if I were, because we're talking about a  

strange verb tense, a verb case in English,  the subjunctive tense. If you said, if I were  

from France, this would be correct, but instead  in daily conversation we say, if I was. If I was  

from France, I would speak French. This  is what you're going to hear more often.

There is one phrase I'd like to show you that  we use equally both tenses. It's this phrase,  

I wouldn't do that if I were you. We use this as  a warning. If someone is standing too close to the  

edge of a cliff because they want to look at the  river down below in the valley and they're getting  

a little too close to the edge, you might say, I  wouldn't do that if I were you, but you could also  

switch it and instead use the incorrect verb, but  it's commonly used in daily conversation. Instead,  

you could say, I wouldn't do that if I  was you. Both of these are equally used,  

so you're going to hear both, and even though was  is incorrect, it's used all the time, so I give  

you permission to use it. The fourth classroom  English phrase that is taught in the classroom,  

but is not often used in daily conversation  is this tricky one about verb tenses.

Before I started learning English, I had thought  it was impossible. Here we're using I had thought  

because it's an action that happened before  something else in the past, but really in  

daily conversation, we just simplify it. Instead,  you're more likely to hear this. Before I started  

learning English, I thought it was impossible.  Here we're just changing I had thought to thought,  

and this is kind of good news. Instead  of using a more complicated verb tense,  

we're using a simpler one because that's what's  really used in daily life. Let's go on to our  

final phrase that you will learn in the classroom  but is not really used in daily conversation,  

and that's this one. In which car do you want to  go? This just sounds so odd, but do you know why  

this is taught in the classroom? In fact,  my English teachers told me this as well,  

even as a native English speaker, this was  taught in English classrooms in the US.

In which car do you want to go here? Here,  what they're trying to do is avoid using a  

preposition at the end of a sentence,  so you will still hear people say,  

you should never end a sentence in English with  a preposition. Here, the preposition is in,  

but do you know what? This is used all the  time in English, so let's switch this around  

and hear how much more natural it sounds  when we end a sentence with a preposition,  

because that's what people really use. Which  car do you want to go in? All of a sudden it  

feels so much better to say. That the word in is  at the end of this question, yes, we are ending  

this sentence with a preposition, but who cares?  This is how people speak. Which car do you want  

to go in? You know what? You can use this type of  English in business and academic English as well.

It's really just a rule that people say in  the classroom, but it's not really anything  

that's used in real life, even in these more  formal situations. To help you remember this,  

and also just a little joke, I heard a  great joke about not ending a sentence  

with a preposition. Let me tell it to you.  There was a new student that went to Harvard,  

and when he met one of his classmates, he  asked his classmate, "Where are you from?"  

The student looked at him, saw that his shirt  wasn't very clean. He didn't look very rich,  

very intelligent, and he said, "Where I'm from,  I know not to end a sentence with a preposition."  

Because he asked where are you from and from  is a preposition. The new student said, "Oh,  

sorry. Where are you from, stupid?" Because  really the thing here is that the question  

where are you from is totally fine, but that  other student wanted to have a snobby response.

Where I'm from, I know not to do that, but  in reality, it's totally fine to say where  

are you from, so he just kind of made it  a little bit humorous. Great work. Well,  

now that you know how we speak in  real life, in real conversations,  

I want to help you be able to have the words  that you want to say in a conversation,  

and usually when we have a conversation, we  need to ask questions and give answers like,  

what have you been up to lately that I  asked at the beginning of this lesson. Here,  

you are going to learn the top 50 questions  and answers in English. You can take notes or  

you could simply download the free PDF worksheet  for this lesson so that you always have these top  

50 questions and answers to review. Let's go. Are  you ready to get started with category number one?

Speaker 2: I'm ready.

Vanessa: All right. Our first category are greetings.

Speaker 2: How's your day going?

Vanessa: Pretty good. How about yours?

Speaker 2: You been doing okay?

Vanessa: It's been  

kind of a hard week, but it's getting better.

Speaker 2: How you been?

Vanessa: I've been  

good. I haven't seen you for  so long. How've you been?

Speaker 2: What's new with you?

Vanessa: We just  

had our third baby. My family's so excited.

Speaker 2: What's new in your world?

Vanessa: Well,  

we have a newborn, so everything's new, but  we're getting adjusted to our new routine.

Speaker 2: What's been going on?

Vanessa: Well, our boys are excited about going back  

to school. I'm excited about growing the business.  It's just been a busy time, but so far so good.

Speaker 2: How's it going?

Vanessa: It's going.  

It's been a hard week. I hope that I'll get  to relax this weekend. Just a little note,  

if you're having a hard week, you can just  respond to this question by saying it's going.

Speaker 2: It's going.

Vanessa: It's going.

Speaker 2: What's up?

Vanessa: Not a lot.  

Just enjoying these last days of fall  before winter gets here. What about you?

Speaker 2: How's everything, or how's everything going?

Vanessa: Pretty good. We've had a busy summer,  

but I think we're all ready to get started with  the school year and just see what this year holds.

Speaker 2: Hey, you doing all right?

Vanessa: Yeah,  

I'm okay. I just need to take a nap and eat  something. Just a little note. This question  

is a great one to ask when you think someone's  not looking so well. Maybe they're feeling a  

little sick, a little tired, you can ask this  question just to kind of check up on them.

Speaker 2: Yeah, especially if you're a friend.

Vanessa: Yes.

Speaker 2: Wouldn't necessarily  

say a co-worker you don't know that well.

Vanessa: Yeah. This is good for someone you care about.

Speaker 2: Are you doing all right?

Vanessa: All right, our  

next category are 10 questions to ask about plans.

Speaker 2: What are you up to today, or what you up to today?

Vanessa: Well, I kind of  

have a busy day. I need to do some work in the  morning, do some housework in the afternoon,  

and then finish all of this before  I pick up my kids from school.

Speaker 2: Do you want to hang out later?

Vanessa: Yeah,  

if I can get all of my work finished  by this afternoon, I'd love to.

Speaker 2: You doing anything fun this weekend?

Vanessa: Yeah,  

we're going to get together with some family  that's coming to visit from out of town.

Speaker 2: You got anything fun planned?

Vanessa: Yeah,  

this weekend we're going to have a big  surprise birthday for my best friend.

Speaker 2: Want to grab lunch later?

Vanessa: Actually,  

I was about to make a big salad with  vegetables from the garden. Want to join me?

Speaker 2: Where you headed?

Vanessa: I was going to  

go drop some books off at the library and then  head to the farmer's market. Want to join me?

Speaker 2: What you got going on this weekend?

Vanessa: Well,  

we're going to go on a big family hike because  it's supposed to be great weather all weekend.

Speaker 2: What are your plans for dinner?

Vanessa: I don't really have any. Do you?

Speaker 2: Are you going to be around later?

Vanessa: Yeah. Give  

me a call around two o'clock and I can talk.  Just a little note. This is a great question  

to ask when you don't have time to have  a conversation now, but you really want  

to tell someone something, so you're just  asking about their availability for later.

Speaker 2: Have you decided where you're going on vacation?

Vanessa: Yeah, I think we're going to take  

a big road trip to visit some friends and then  we'll go to the lake together. All right, let's  

go to our next category, which are the top 10  questions to talk about your interests or hobbies.

Speaker 2: What do you like to do in your free time?

Vanessa: Well,  

I like to make jewelry out of recycled  things and sell them at craft shows.

Speaker 2: How long have you done that?

Vanessa: I just started in the last few years.

Speaker 2: What got you into that?

Vanessa: Well,  

I like being creative and I like  trying to reduce waste where I can.

Speaker 2: You want to try?

Vanessa: Well,  

I don't have much time right  now, but maybe tomorrow.

Speaker 2: What are you into?

Vanessa: Well, I love being outdoors  

and in nature, so I'm into hiking, gardening.  Really anything that involves being outside.

Speaker 2: What's that like?

Vanessa: Well, to go hiking,  

especially in the rain or inclement  weather, you have to be pretty tough,  

but it feels fun and you feel courageous.  I think it's personally pretty exciting.

Speaker 2: How'd you learn that?

Vanessa: Well, I learned a  

lot about gardening online by watching YouTube  videos, but it's also through trial and error.

Speaker 2: Have you seen the latest Batman movie?

Vanessa: I haven't seen it,  

but I've heard it's pretty good.

Speaker 2: Have you read the book Atomic Habits?

Vanessa: No, I haven't. Have you?

Speaker 2: I think I want to learn piano. Can you teach me?

Vanessa: Sure. I love teaching people. All right,  

let's go to our next category, which are the top  10 questions that you'll ask around the house?

Speaker 2: Can you help me with something?

Vanessa: Sure. Give me a second and I'll be right there.

Speaker 2: Have you seen my jacket?

Vanessa: Yeah, I think it's on the chair.

Speaker 2: Did you check the closet?

Vanessa: Yeah,  

I did check the closet, but I  didn't see my shoes in there.

Speaker 2: Can you pass me the salt and pepper?

Vanessa: Sure. Here you go.

Speaker 2: Did you check the mail today?

Vanessa: I did. Our package didn't come yet.

Speaker 2: Have you fed the cats yet?

Vanessa: Actually,  

I watched while the boys did  it. They did a great job.

Speaker 2: Is it time for dinner?

Vanessa: Well,  

it's a little early for dinner,  but I'm hungry. Let's eat.

Speaker 2: Would you rather fold  

laundry or put away the dishes?  Because both have to be done.

Vanessa: Well,  

I'd rather fold the laundry  if you put away the dishes.

Speaker 2: Do I have to?

Vanessa: I know, I don't like doing chores either,  

but they have to be done. This is a really  common question that children will often ask in  

this whining tone. Do I have to? When they don't  want to do a chore, but they know it's required.

Speaker 2: Will you hit the light?

Vanessa: Yeah,  

in just a sec. I want to finish reading this  page. This is a great question that you can  

ask for turning on or turning off the light.  Will you hit the light? All right, here's our  

final category with the top 10 questions  and answers to use about your job or work.

Speaker 2: How's the project going?

Vanessa: It's going  

pretty well. I like working with my team and  I think we're going to finish by the deadline.

Speaker 2: Are you working on anything fun?

Vanessa: Well, there's  

nothing too exciting right now, but we're  about to start a big new project next week.

Speaker 2: What do you do, or what are you studying?

Vanessa: I'm a teacher,  

or I'm studying to become a teacher.

Speaker 2: What's your dream job?

Vanessa: Well,  

I don't really have a dream job, but  a lot of things that I like involve  

working with people, so maybe my dream  job is working with people in some way.

Speaker 2: I'm looking for a job. Is your company hiring?

Vanessa: I'm not sure, but I'll ask around.

Speaker 2: What kind of work experience do you have?

Vanessa: Well, I really love  

working with technology and computers, so that's  what I've been doing for the last five years.

Speaker 2: What's your favorite part about your job?

Vanessa: Well, I really like  

working with people, so it really makes me happy  when I see them grow and develop and progress.

Speaker 2: What's your least favorite part of your job?

Vanessa: Well, sometimes I don't really  

like the business parts of running a business,  taxes, payroll, spreadsheets, all that stuff.

Speaker 2: Would you rather  

do manual labor or have a desk job?

Vanessa: Well, manual labor  

can be really tough, especially in inclement  weather, so I guess I would rather have a desk  

job as long as I got to have long stretches of  time where I could go outside and get fresh air.

Speaker 2: How long have you worked in education?

Vanessa: Well, technically,  

I've worked in education for the last 15 years,  but I've been doing this job teaching online for  

the last 10 years. I can't believe it. Well, great  work learning those top 50 questions and answers,  

and now I have a challenge for you. You have  learned a lot of important words, what to say,  

what not to say, and now it's time to put on  your thinking cap and learn the most important  

thing that you need to know in order to speak  confidently and clearly in English. In this next  

lesson, I'm going to give you some tips about  how to really speak the best English that you  

can speak. Let's go. Are you wasting your time  learning English? You probably are. Let's get  

started by talking about the first time-waster.  It is learning English without a plan.

This is the number one time-waster when you're  learning anything new. If you're just randomly  

learning some vocabulary here, phrasal verbs here  and, oh, I forgot about pronunciation here, well,  

you are going to be wasting your time because  you don't have a plan, but you might think,  

Vanessa, making a plan is hard. How do I do that?  I don't even know where to start. Well, that's why  

I'm here. The number two most common mistake that  English learners make and waste their time is they  

just memorize instead of truly learning. I think  we all experienced this in school where we knew  

we had a test coming up, so you just studied  and studied and studied and memorized and after  

the test, did you remember what you studied?  Absolutely not. You just completely let it  

fly out of your brain and you didn't retain  that information, but that's no good when  

you're learning English. You want to be able  to learn something, learn some new vocabulary,  

learn correct pronunciation, and when you have a  conversation, you need to be able to remember it.

How can you learn something and not just memorize  it? The best way to learn instead of memorize is  

to have a context, not just simply remembering  where's the bathroom, where's the bathroom,  

where's the bathroom, where's the bathroom?  Okay, where's the bathroom? No. Instead,  

you need a context where you're  able to use that in a conversation,  

know when it is used and how it's used in  daily life. All right, let's go on to the  

third way that English learners waste their time  when they learn English, and it is that they  

don't take notes or use worksheets as they're  learning. Scientific studies have proven that  

when you write something down, specifically on  paper, but you can take notes on a device as well,  

this helps to connect those concepts to your  brain so that you can remember them more easily.

I highly recommend taking notes as you watch my  YouTube lessons, download those worksheets and  

take notes as you're watching my YouTube videos.  The goal is to be able to remember everything that  

you've learned, not just mindlessly watch  English lessons, but to really remember it,  

and taking notes can help you to do that. I  remember that when I was first learning French,  

I would go to my French professor's office  for about 30 minutes a couple of times a week,  

and she would ask me simple questions  like, what did you do this weekend,  

or what are you going to do tomorrow? I didn't  have much vocabulary to explain what I wanted  

to do or what I had done, but when she  gave me some vocabulary that I could use,  

I wrote it down. I had so many pages of notes  and this was extremely helpful. Sometimes I went  

back and reviewed them, sometimes I didn't,  but the act of writing it down helped it to  

not just go in one ear and out the other.  Instead, it went in one ear and it stuck.

I highly recommend taking notes and using  the worksheets for my English lessons can  

help you have an outline that you can  take notes with. The fourth way that  

English learners waste their time while they're  learning English is a really big one. I have  

a question for you. Are you a perfectionist?  A perfectionist is someone who cannot stand,  

they can't handle when things are not perfect.  It has to be perfect before you take that first  

step. Maybe you're trying to do something new  and you can't take that first step because you  

know that you're probably going to make a mistake.  You can't have a conversation in English because  

you're so worried about making a mistake. What  if I don't have the right word? What if they  

don't understand me? What if I can't understand  them? Then you decide to just not do anything.

Being a perfectionist can be a huge  roadblock for your English learning,  

and this will really make you waste time because  really, the faster that you get started, the  

better it will be. What's the solution if you are  a perfectionist? Well, my tip for you is to just  

take a simple step. You don't need to just jump in  and give a huge presentation in English, instead,  

start slowly. Look around your room and see if  there's a way that you can describe what you see.  

I see a computer monitor. I see a couch. Out the  window, the birds are, what's that word? I don't  

know the word for what sound birds make. I'm going  to look it up. Chirping, the birds are chirping.  

Okay, here, you are making mistakes in a safe  environment, you are learning new words, and we  

can use the previous tip. You can write down the  birds are chirping so that you can remember that.

Starting slow, don't jump into a scary  scenario where you're giving a presentation,  

that will trigger every bit of  perfectionism in you. Instead,  

start slow. Talk about the things you see around  you and build up that confidence. The fifth and  

final way that English learners often waste  their time while they're learning English is  

that they wait until they think their English is  good enough to begin speaking. Maybe you started  

learning English when you were in elementary  school, and oftentimes, in these classes,  

the teachers will ask students to repeat  things. Where's the bathroom? Where's the  

bathroom? I have a pencil. I have a pencil. You  repeated things with the teacher, but were you  

really speaking and having a conversation? Not  really. If you can understand my YouTube videos,  

your English level is high enough to  start having English conversations.

A great way to start doing this is just to  take a little step and you can use one of  

the videos in my series, Speak with Me,  where I will ask you a question in the  

video and then I'll pause and you'll have  a chance to be able to speak back. I'm not  

going to tell you the exact words you need to  say. You need to create them from your brain,  

but this will be a safe environment for you to  start speaking. The next time that you see someone  

who's an English speaker, maybe your coworker  says, "Hey, how was your weekend?" Oh, you feel  

much better because you've already practiced  speaking in that safe environment. I highly  

recommend that all of my English students speak  English in a conversation setting at least once  

a week. This is a great way to have a deadline  so that you know, okay, Tuesday is coming. I'm  

going to be speaking in English on Tuesday.  I need to listen to some podcasts. I need to  

watch some of Vanessa's videos. I need to  prepare my mind a little bit for English.

Then on Tuesday, you got it, you can  speak in English. Well, great work,  

learning how to have great English conversations  over the last 30 minutes. Now, I have a question  

for you. Are you a perfectionist? Are you someone  who strives for perfection, and do you have a hard  

time forgiving yourself when you make a mistake?  What about when you make a mistake when you speak  

in English? Can you forgive yourself and move  on? This is essential for speaking clearly  

and confidently in English. Let me know in the  comments if you are a perfectionist or maybe you  

are a recovering perfectionist, you're trying to  forgive yourself more and more. That's important.

Well, thanks so much for learning English with  me, and don't forget to download the free PDF  

worksheet for today's lesson with all of these  speaking tips and tricks, questions and answers,  

ideas and theories and ways for you to actually  have real conversations in English. Plus,  

at the bottom of the worksheet, you can answer  Vanessa's challenge question so that you never  

forget what you've learned. You can click on the  link in the description to download that free  

PDF worksheet today. It is my gift to you. Well,  thank you so much for learning English with me,  

and I'll see you again next Friday for a new  lesson here on my YouTube channel. Bye. Wait,  

do you want more? I recommend watching  this video next where you will continue  

to improve your English conversation skills,  including the top small talk questions and  

answers that you can use so that you can  seem friendly and not creepy. Make sure  

that you use them correctly and find out  how in this lesson. I'll see you there.