English Conversations on Self-Love | Advanced-Level Vocabulary

33,718 views ・ 2022-02-09

Speak Confident English


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
Aren't self-care and self-love the same thing?
0
220
3020
00:04
You might be asking yourself that question right now,
1
4220
2500
00:06
if you've worked hard to develop a self-care practice,
2
6980
2620
00:09
or if you've watched a previous lesson I did on conversations
3
9780
4620
00:14
related to the topic of self-care.
4
14670
1730
00:17
While there is some overlap between the two there's an important distinction:
5
17010
4580
00:22
self-care is about your actions,
6
22340
1770
00:25
the things that you do for your physical and mental wellbeing.
7
25450
3900
00:30
For example, making time for fitness regularly in your schedule,
8
30170
3900
00:34
or giving yourself 10 minutes every day to read something just for fun.
9
34730
4180
00:38
Self-love, however,
10
38910
1120
00:41
is focused on the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself.
11
41160
4220
00:46
It's about showing kindness to yourself,
12
46210
2010
00:48
and I think you might agree with me that self-love is the harder
13
48920
4540
00:53
of those two things to develop.
14
53840
1740
00:56
We tend to be our own strongest critic. Now,
15
56160
3940
01:00
before we go any further,
16
60160
1770
01:02
let me pause for a moment and introduce myself just in case
17
62230
3020
01:05
this is your first time watching one of my Confident English lessons.
18
65250
3720
01:09
I'm Annemarie the founder of Speak Confident English,
19
69870
2660
01:12
the creator of Fluency School and the Confident Women Community.
20
72670
3300
01:16
Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your
21
76860
4670
01:21
life and to work in English. If developing a self-care practice,
22
81531
4909
01:26
and if developing a practice of self-love is something that's important to you,
23
86820
4380
01:31
I want you to know exactly how to talk about it in English.
24
91760
3080
01:35
From start to finish with this Confident English lesson today,
25
95510
2970
01:38
you're going to learn powerful verbs, phrasal verbs,
26
98481
3399
01:42
collocations and idioms English speakers use to talk about self-love.
27
102020
4850
01:47
As a result, you'll be a hundred percent ready to talk about this in English,
28
107490
3660
01:51
and you'll have some helpful strategies to help you cultivate your own
29
111490
4340
01:55
self-love practice. Be sure to stick with me to the end,
30
115900
3290
01:59
because I have two final questions for you that will allow you to immediately
31
119191
4589
02:04
practice some of the vocabulary that you learn today.
32
124060
2560
02:19
Based on my explanation of self-love,
33
139870
2230
02:22
you might think that it's this static feeling of positivity toward
34
142160
4610
02:27
yourself, but that's not exactly right.
35
147130
2040
02:29
Before we get into the key vocabulary you need to talk
36
149220
4990
02:34
about this, let's be a hundred percent clear on what self-love really is.
37
154211
4879
02:39
Self-love is a dynamic or ever-changing state of gratitude
38
159960
4800
02:45
and appreciation for who you are.
39
165460
2620
02:48
You can cultivate a self-love practice through intentional actions
40
168740
4660
02:53
that support your spiritual, psychological, and physical growth.
41
173550
4090
02:57
When you practice self-love,
42
177990
1610
03:00
you commit to prioritizing your wellbeing and expanding your happiness
43
180500
4580
03:05
in a way that chooses to definitely never settle for less
44
185580
4980
03:10
than what you deserve. To help this lesson flow today,
45
190710
3370
03:14
I've divided it into four sections.
46
194470
2650
03:17
First powerful verbs we use when talking about self-love,
47
197890
4020
03:22
then why it's important to prioritize self-love with some key vocabulary.
48
202180
4850
03:27
In section three,
49
207570
1140
03:28
common obstacles you might face while aiming to create a self-love
50
208850
4900
03:34
practice and we'll focus on some important nouns that you might use.
51
214030
4200
03:39
And finally,
52
219080
510
03:39
we'll finish with several strategies you can use to cultivate a self-love
53
219590
4070
03:43
practice with a focus on some idioms and collocations.
54
223940
3400
03:48
So let's start with that first section,
55
228120
2020
03:50
powerful verbs we can use when talking about self-love.
56
230980
2840
03:54
The first verb on our list is one I've already used today to cultivate,
57
234280
4060
03:59
to cultivate means to develop or promote the growth of something.
58
239120
4690
04:04
For example, in order to be at peace with yourself,
59
244470
3660
04:08
it's important to cultivate self-love.
60
248720
2690
04:12
And that leads me to the second word on our list today to practice.
61
252030
3900
04:16
In order to cultivate,
62
256870
1140
04:18
in order to create or promote an opportunity to grow
63
258670
4250
04:23
in your self-love,
64
263580
833
04:24
you have to practice just like you might with your language learning skills
65
264820
4820
04:29
or your English speaking skills.
66
269860
1860
04:32
To practice means to create a habit or do something repeatedly.
67
272380
3940
04:36
For example, every morning,
68
276940
1820
04:39
I practice self-love by setting aside 10 minutes for myself to paint.
69
279320
4430
04:43
Verb number three, to prioritize,
70
283750
2960
04:47
we certainly cannot cultivate or practice without
71
287330
4340
04:51
prioritizing. And here's how you might use that in a sentence.
72
291950
3880
04:56
Prioritizing daily exercise allows me to maintain a
73
296630
4910
05:01
self-love practice.
74
301541
1279
05:03
And now our last powerful verb for talking about self-love is to be intentional,
75
303520
4940
05:09
to be intentional means to be deliberate, conscious,
76
309040
4420
05:14
mindful. For example, this week I was intentional,
77
314170
4090
05:18
I was focused and deliberate in how I
78
318530
4600
05:23
handled negativity. And now section number two,
79
323131
3999
05:27
why should you prioritize self-love? Why is any of this important?
80
327750
3620
05:32
Through self-love we create patterns or habits that allow
81
332360
4930
05:37
us to break toxic comparisons or limits that
82
337291
4559
05:42
we put on ourselves. Let's talk about that word toxic.
83
342641
3079
05:46
Toxic comparisons. When something is toxic,
84
346570
3470
05:50
it's poisonous, and as I'm sure you know,
85
350590
2770
05:53
something that's poisonous is very harmful or unpleasant.
86
353361
4239
05:58
Constantly comparing ourselves to others can be toxic.
87
358760
3280
06:02
It can lead to discouragement and unfair self-judgment.
88
362340
3340
06:06
Instead when you prioritize self-love it allows you to be true or
89
366630
4770
06:11
stay true to your values and beliefs to who you are to stay to
90
371670
4770
06:16
true to something means to stay loyal or stay committed.
91
376620
3530
06:20
And we often use it with collocations such as to stay true to yourself,
92
380570
4700
06:25
to stay true to your values, to stay true to who you are.
93
385850
3820
06:30
In doing all of that,
94
390490
900
06:31
you're more likely to overcome obstacles in your path and instead be
95
391391
4999
06:36
successful with your goals, which leads me to section number three,
96
396391
3709
06:40
talking about obstacles. When it comes to a self-love practice,
97
400530
3650
06:45
there are four common obstacles you might experience as you work to
98
405070
4670
06:49
cultivate a self-love practice, self criticism,
99
409741
3199
06:53
a lack of self-worth, a lack of self-care and weak boundaries.
100
413860
4630
06:59
Let's talk about each of those nouns.
101
419380
1950
07:02
Self criticism is when we are hyperfocused on our own
102
422200
4890
07:07
weaknesses or failures. For example,
103
427450
2680
07:10
we might self criticize when we compare ourselves to others.
104
430310
3460
07:14
And what that means is we point out all of our negative traits or flaws,
105
434310
4290
07:19
ultimately that can lead us down a toxic path of guilt
106
439010
4710
07:24
or even shame.
107
444020
1060
07:25
Self worth is the degree to which you value yourself.
108
445750
4050
07:30
And that makes it a foundation for self-esteem and self-respect. For example,
109
450380
4700
07:35
when you talk about a self-love practice, you might say,
110
455110
3010
07:38
I realized constantly seeking approval from others,
111
458950
3240
07:42
undermines my self-worth. Self-care,
112
462920
1150
07:44
as you might remember from one of my past Confident English lessons
113
464980
4210
07:50
is the deliberate act of taking care of your mental, emotional,
114
470050
4700
07:54
and physical health. For example,
115
474850
2020
07:56
if you're in a conversation on work/life balance,
116
476871
1959
07:59
you might say something like a lack of self-care in your daily routine
117
479760
4700
08:05
can eventually lead to the absence of self-love.
118
485000
3260
08:08
And now the fourth one on that list boundaries. When we think of boundaries,
119
488880
4820
08:13
we tend to think of physical limits,
120
493720
2780
08:17
but boundaries aren't always physical.
121
497320
2060
08:20
We can also create emotional boundaries in our communication and in our
122
500070
4220
08:24
relationships with others. When we lack boundaries,
123
504291
3559
08:28
we're more likely to be too lenient or allow others
124
508460
4670
08:33
to treat us in a way that makes us uncomfortable.
125
513470
2660
08:36
Creating or allowing ourselves to have weak boundaries is definitely
126
516970
4630
08:41
an obstacle to cultivating self-love. Okay.
127
521940
4100
08:46
Now that we've talked about what exactly self-love is why it's important and
128
526300
4980
08:51
what are some of the obstacles you might experience?
129
531281
2239
08:53
Let's talk about how you can cultivate self-love and along the way,
130
533650
4590
08:58
you're going to learn a variety of idioms and English collocations.
131
538241
3319
09:02
The first strategy is to get in tune with your needs and
132
542140
4500
09:06
desires. And while you're at it,
133
546670
2050
09:09
take stock of the behaviors or attitudes that prevent you
134
549080
4280
09:14
from meeting those needs and desires.
135
554070
2480
09:17
To get in tune with something means to have a good understanding of it.
136
557250
4100
09:21
So get a good understanding of your unique needs.
137
561490
4540
09:26
And to take stock means to do a review or overall assessment.
138
566810
3900
09:31
So do a review or assess the behaviors and attitudes
139
571450
4930
09:36
that may prevent you from having a self-love practice.
140
576381
3359
09:39
Strategy number two,
141
579740
2120
09:42
don't be afraid to turn over a new leaf.
142
582150
2590
09:45
This is a fantastic idiomatic expression to turn over a new leaf means
143
585250
4970
09:50
to start acting or behaving in a better or more responsible way.
144
590280
4300
09:55
It means recognizing that every single day is a new
145
595240
4170
09:59
opportunity for a fresh start,
146
599640
1730
10:02
just because something didn't work yesterday or just because you
147
602440
4530
10:07
weren't successful in an intention or a new routine that you
148
607000
4730
10:11
tried to implement a year ago.
149
611731
1959
10:14
It doesn't mean that you can't be successful in the future
150
614310
3770
10:19
every day. You have the opportunity to turn over a new leaf.
151
619050
3710
10:22
Strategy number three is to set clear boundaries and stick to
152
622760
4680
10:27
your guns. Now I'm not a fan of guns by any means,
153
627441
3599
10:31
but this idiomatic expression is a useful one to know.
154
631180
3220
10:35
To stick to your guns means to refuse,
155
635220
2530
10:38
to change or refuse to compromise.
156
638050
3540
10:42
Once you've set clear boundaries that help you to stay true to yourself.
157
642980
4930
10:48
It's important to stick to your guns strategy.
158
648420
3370
10:51
Number four is to commit to showing compassion to yourself.
159
651791
3959
10:56
You can do this by stop comparing yourself to others,
160
656370
4010
11:01
believing in yourself,
161
661090
1290
11:02
breaking toxic patterns and remembering that perfection is in the eye
162
662740
4880
11:07
of the beholder.
163
667621
833
11:08
That phrase in the eye of beholder means that something is a matter
164
668770
4770
11:13
of personal opinion.
165
673640
1540
11:15
You'll often hear it in the expression beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
166
675720
3890
11:20
What is beautiful to one person may not be beautiful to another.
167
680160
3770
11:24
We all have our own opinion and the same is true with perfection.
168
684190
4780
11:29
What may be perfect to someone else doesn't mean that's also what
169
689880
4730
11:34
your definition of perfect needs to be.
170
694640
1970
11:37
Strategy number five on our list for creating a self-love practice is to
171
697690
4710
11:42
also develop a practice of self-care. Whether it's five minutes,
172
702470
4330
11:47
20 minutes or an hour a day,
173
707020
2220
11:49
it's essential to carve out time for yourself.
174
709870
3610
11:53
To carve out means to make or create time for something.
175
713980
4220
11:58
Your life is busy.
176
718830
1170
12:00
And there may be days when it seems unimaginable to find even
177
720180
4700
12:04
five minutes for yourself.
178
724990
1290
12:06
But as much as you can aim to carve out time for yourself,
179
726660
4980
12:11
find those little segments of the day where you can have time to just
180
731990
4440
12:16
meditate, breathe deeply, or do something that you love,
181
736990
3480
12:21
even if it's for five minutes.
182
741060
1370
12:23
And now our last strategy for today's lesson on self-love is to remember
183
743370
4980
12:28
that this is a journey just as I describe English confidence or English
184
748540
4800
12:33
fluency as a journey self-love is not a light switch.
185
753410
4570
12:38
We can't turn it on and off. It's not all or nothing.
186
758160
4020
12:43
Instead it is a daily journey,
187
763410
2530
12:46
an opportunity every day to take one step toward that final goal
188
766640
4460
12:51
of who we want to be and how we it to feel to finish this Confident English
189
771480
4890
12:56
lesson. Today. I have a couple of questions for you, and I want you to aim,
190
776371
4319
13:01
to use some of the new vocabulary you learned in this lesson.
191
781510
3180
13:04
When you share your answers, question number one,
192
784920
2690
13:08
how do you carve out time for yourself,
193
788070
2020
13:10
particularly when your schedule is crazy busy,
194
790610
3240
13:14
what advice or recommendations might you have for someone else who's really
195
794590
4330
13:18
struggling to do that. And question number two,
196
798921
3079
13:22
what is one thing you can do today or this week to
197
802070
4970
13:27
help you cultivate self-love in your life? As always,
198
807041
4439
13:31
you can share with me in the comment section below,
199
811481
2839
13:34
and if you found this lesson helpful to you,
200
814850
2180
13:37
you can tell me in one very simple way,
201
817330
2100
13:39
give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube. And while you do that,
202
819980
4170
13:44
subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel.
203
824670
1920
13:47
So you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.
204
827050
2660
13:50
Thank you so much for joining me. And I look forward to seeing you next time.
205
830320
4230
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7