English Conversations on Self-Love | Advanced-Level Vocabulary

33,613 views ・ 2022-02-09

Speak Confident English


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Aren't self-care and self-love the same thing?
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You might be asking yourself that question right now,
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if you've worked hard to develop a self-care practice,
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or if you've watched a previous lesson I did on conversations
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related to the topic of self-care.
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While there is some overlap between the two there's an important distinction:
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self-care is about your actions,
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the things that you do for your physical and mental wellbeing.
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For example, making time for fitness regularly in your schedule,
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or giving yourself 10 minutes every day to read something just for fun.
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Self-love, however,
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is focused on the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself.
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It's about showing kindness to yourself,
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and I think you might agree with me that self-love is the harder
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of those two things to develop.
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We tend to be our own strongest critic. Now,
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before we go any further,
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let me pause for a moment and introduce myself just in case
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this is your first time watching one of my Confident English lessons.
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I'm Annemarie the founder of Speak Confident English,
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the creator of Fluency School and the Confident Women Community.
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Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your
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life and to work in English. If developing a self-care practice,
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and if developing a practice of self-love is something that's important to you,
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I want you to know exactly how to talk about it in English.
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From start to finish with this Confident English lesson today,
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you're going to learn powerful verbs, phrasal verbs,
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collocations and idioms English speakers use to talk about self-love.
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As a result, you'll be a hundred percent ready to talk about this in English,
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and you'll have some helpful strategies to help you cultivate your own
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self-love practice. Be sure to stick with me to the end,
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because I have two final questions for you that will allow you to immediately
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practice some of the vocabulary that you learn today.
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Based on my explanation of self-love,
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you might think that it's this static feeling of positivity toward
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yourself, but that's not exactly right.
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Before we get into the key vocabulary you need to talk
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about this, let's be a hundred percent clear on what self-love really is.
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Self-love is a dynamic or ever-changing state of gratitude
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and appreciation for who you are.
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You can cultivate a self-love practice through intentional actions
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that support your spiritual, psychological, and physical growth.
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When you practice self-love,
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you commit to prioritizing your wellbeing and expanding your happiness
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in a way that chooses to definitely never settle for less
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than what you deserve. To help this lesson flow today,
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I've divided it into four sections.
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First powerful verbs we use when talking about self-love,
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then why it's important to prioritize self-love with some key vocabulary.
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In section three,
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common obstacles you might face while aiming to create a self-love
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practice and we'll focus on some important nouns that you might use.
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And finally,
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we'll finish with several strategies you can use to cultivate a self-love
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practice with a focus on some idioms and collocations.
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So let's start with that first section,
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powerful verbs we can use when talking about self-love.
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The first verb on our list is one I've already used today to cultivate,
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to cultivate means to develop or promote the growth of something.
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For example, in order to be at peace with yourself,
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it's important to cultivate self-love.
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And that leads me to the second word on our list today to practice.
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In order to cultivate,
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in order to create or promote an opportunity to grow
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in your self-love,
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you have to practice just like you might with your language learning skills
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or your English speaking skills.
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To practice means to create a habit or do something repeatedly.
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For example, every morning,
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I practice self-love by setting aside 10 minutes for myself to paint.
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Verb number three, to prioritize,
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we certainly cannot cultivate or practice without
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prioritizing. And here's how you might use that in a sentence.
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Prioritizing daily exercise allows me to maintain a
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self-love practice.
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And now our last powerful verb for talking about self-love is to be intentional,
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to be intentional means to be deliberate, conscious,
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mindful. For example, this week I was intentional,
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I was focused and deliberate in how I
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handled negativity. And now section number two,
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why should you prioritize self-love? Why is any of this important?
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Through self-love we create patterns or habits that allow
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us to break toxic comparisons or limits that
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we put on ourselves. Let's talk about that word toxic.
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Toxic comparisons. When something is toxic,
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it's poisonous, and as I'm sure you know,
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something that's poisonous is very harmful or unpleasant.
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Constantly comparing ourselves to others can be toxic.
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It can lead to discouragement and unfair self-judgment.
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Instead when you prioritize self-love it allows you to be true or
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stay true to your values and beliefs to who you are to stay to
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true to something means to stay loyal or stay committed.
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And we often use it with collocations such as to stay true to yourself,
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to stay true to your values, to stay true to who you are.
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In doing all of that,
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you're more likely to overcome obstacles in your path and instead be
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successful with your goals, which leads me to section number three,
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talking about obstacles. When it comes to a self-love practice,
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there are four common obstacles you might experience as you work to
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cultivate a self-love practice, self criticism,
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a lack of self-worth, a lack of self-care and weak boundaries.
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Let's talk about each of those nouns.
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Self criticism is when we are hyperfocused on our own
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weaknesses or failures. For example,
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we might self criticize when we compare ourselves to others.
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And what that means is we point out all of our negative traits or flaws,
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ultimately that can lead us down a toxic path of guilt
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or even shame.
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Self worth is the degree to which you value yourself.
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And that makes it a foundation for self-esteem and self-respect. For example,
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when you talk about a self-love practice, you might say,
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I realized constantly seeking approval from others,
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undermines my self-worth. Self-care,
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as you might remember from one of my past Confident English lessons
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is the deliberate act of taking care of your mental, emotional,
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and physical health. For example,
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if you're in a conversation on work/life balance,
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you might say something like a lack of self-care in your daily routine
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can eventually lead to the absence of self-love.
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And now the fourth one on that list boundaries. When we think of boundaries,
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we tend to think of physical limits,
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but boundaries aren't always physical.
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We can also create emotional boundaries in our communication and in our
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relationships with others. When we lack boundaries,
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we're more likely to be too lenient or allow others
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to treat us in a way that makes us uncomfortable.
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Creating or allowing ourselves to have weak boundaries is definitely
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an obstacle to cultivating self-love. Okay.
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Now that we've talked about what exactly self-love is why it's important and
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what are some of the obstacles you might experience?
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Let's talk about how you can cultivate self-love and along the way,
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you're going to learn a variety of idioms and English collocations.
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The first strategy is to get in tune with your needs and
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desires. And while you're at it,
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take stock of the behaviors or attitudes that prevent you
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from meeting those needs and desires.
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To get in tune with something means to have a good understanding of it.
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So get a good understanding of your unique needs.
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And to take stock means to do a review or overall assessment.
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So do a review or assess the behaviors and attitudes
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that may prevent you from having a self-love practice.
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Strategy number two,
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don't be afraid to turn over a new leaf.
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This is a fantastic idiomatic expression to turn over a new leaf means
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to start acting or behaving in a better or more responsible way.
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It means recognizing that every single day is a new
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opportunity for a fresh start,
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just because something didn't work yesterday or just because you
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weren't successful in an intention or a new routine that you
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tried to implement a year ago.
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It doesn't mean that you can't be successful in the future
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every day. You have the opportunity to turn over a new leaf.
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Strategy number three is to set clear boundaries and stick to
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your guns. Now I'm not a fan of guns by any means,
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but this idiomatic expression is a useful one to know.
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To stick to your guns means to refuse,
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to change or refuse to compromise.
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Once you've set clear boundaries that help you to stay true to yourself.
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It's important to stick to your guns strategy.
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Number four is to commit to showing compassion to yourself.
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You can do this by stop comparing yourself to others,
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believing in yourself,
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breaking toxic patterns and remembering that perfection is in the eye
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of the beholder.
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That phrase in the eye of beholder means that something is a matter
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of personal opinion.
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You'll often hear it in the expression beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
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What is beautiful to one person may not be beautiful to another.
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We all have our own opinion and the same is true with perfection.
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What may be perfect to someone else doesn't mean that's also what
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your definition of perfect needs to be.
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Strategy number five on our list for creating a self-love practice is to
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also develop a practice of self-care. Whether it's five minutes,
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20 minutes or an hour a day,
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it's essential to carve out time for yourself.
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To carve out means to make or create time for something.
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Your life is busy.
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And there may be days when it seems unimaginable to find even
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five minutes for yourself.
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But as much as you can aim to carve out time for yourself,
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find those little segments of the day where you can have time to just
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meditate, breathe deeply, or do something that you love,
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even if it's for five minutes.
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And now our last strategy for today's lesson on self-love is to remember
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that this is a journey just as I describe English confidence or English
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fluency as a journey self-love is not a light switch.
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We can't turn it on and off. It's not all or nothing.
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Instead it is a daily journey,
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an opportunity every day to take one step toward that final goal
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of who we want to be and how we it to feel to finish this Confident English
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lesson. Today. I have a couple of questions for you, and I want you to aim,
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to use some of the new vocabulary you learned in this lesson.
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When you share your answers, question number one,
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how do you carve out time for yourself,
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particularly when your schedule is crazy busy,
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what advice or recommendations might you have for someone else who's really
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struggling to do that. And question number two,
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what is one thing you can do today or this week to
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help you cultivate self-love in your life? As always,
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you can share with me in the comment section below,
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and if you found this lesson helpful to you,
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you can tell me in one very simple way,
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give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube. And while you do that,
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subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel.
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So you never miss one of my Confident English lessons.
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Thank you so much for joining me. And I look forward to seeing you next time.
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