Make a Complaint Politely in English and Get What You Want

Hi, I'm Anne Marie with Speak Confident English and welcome to your Confident

English Wednesday lesson. Earlier this year I did a lesson on everything you

need to know when you want to complain about a bad day in English. Imagine that

you've just had a terrible day and you want to talk about it with your friend

or your coworker. But sometimes you need to make a

complaint and you need to be effective and polite so that you get what you want.

You resolve a problem or someone fixes something for you. And that is our focus

today: how can you complain in English politely so that you get what you want

in the end?

Let's imagine that something went wrong - you had a terrible haircut at a salon or

you ordered something from Ikea and it was missing some parts

now you can't build your bookcase or a client missed a deadline - in all of those

situations you might want to make a complaint and you want someone to fix

the problem, you want a solution. To get us started on this topic we need to

focus on indirect language in English. Indirect language is used to soften the

tone. You're still polite and you are saying what you want but you're not

being too aggressive or even threatening. You're being careful about showing that

you're frustrated or angry. Remember your goal is to get a solution, to get

something fixed and to do that we need to have a professional, polite, and

effective tone in English. Let me give you a couple of examples to show you

what I mean by indirect language. If I order something from a company and they

send me the wrong product or they don't include everything that I need, I'll need

to call the company to make a complaint and I might say: I'm sorry to have to say

this but you sent me the wrong part. I'm sorry to say this but you sent me the

wrong order. I'm sorry to say this... Now in reality I'm not really sorry. I'm

actually frustrated or angry, upset because I really wanted this product

today. But remember, my goal is to soften my language. If I'm too aggressive or I'm

too threatening I could be offensive to the other person

and they won't want to help me. I really want them to help me solve this problem

so using indirect language for example I'm sorry to say this

but... that helps us soften the language so that we can get what we want. Another

great example is: perhaps there was a mistake in the order. Perhaps there was a

mistake in the order. Now with that example I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not

blaming the person I'm speaking to, I'm simply saying there was a problem

without being too aggressive or direct. And finally another example is: excuse me

but I think there's a problem. Excuse me but I think there's a problem with my

order. In each of those examples that I gave you, using words like I'm sorry,

perhaps, excuse me... those, again, help use indirect language so that we are polite

and effective in making our complaints. Now as usual in the online lesson I've

given you many more examples of common expressions that English speakers use to

make complaints indirectly and you can review all of those to find which ones

are easiest for you to remember and use when you need to make a complaint. Now

using that indirect language is essential when you want to politely and

effectively complain in English but let's look at a few other ways that will

help you do that. Number one keep your voice calm. Yes, I know that you might be

furious inside, you might be really angry. Maybe someone made a huge mistake and

there are some terrible consequences. You might be truly angry but you want to try

to keep your voice calm and smooth. So if you need to practice beforehand, do

something before you have to make that phone call to get all of that anger out

so that when you make the complaint you can keep your voice calm. A second useful

tip is use modal verbs. Modal's are those

words like could, should, would, might and those again help us soften the language.

They're not so strong or direct so you might say something like: could you help

me with this? Who should I speak to about this? Who should I talk to about this

problem? Would you be able to help me? In all of those examples I'm using modal's

to be more diplomatic and polite in my request for help.

The third tip is to end your complaint with a question not a demand. And let me

explain what I mean. If I make a complaint and I'm talking to someone on

the telephone, I've told them what happened, why I'm upset and that I really want

this problem fixed, I could say: I want you to fix this or fix this. But that is

a demand and it's very direct, it's very strong and aggressive. Just changing that

into a question and using a modal softens it it makes it more diplomatic

and polite. For example, how can we fix this or what can you do to help me fix

this? Is there something that you can do to help me solve this problem? In each of

those examples I'm using a question to request help and most people, when

someone asks them for help, they can't say no. It's really hard to just say no

to someone when they politely ask for help. So that small change can be really

effective when you have to make a complaint and you want someone to help

you solve the problem or get it fixed. And my final tip for effectively and

politely complaining in English is to always explain why you are upset

or frustrated or angry. And a great way to do that is to use something like:

perhaps there was a misunderstanding but I'm really frustrated because... or I'm

really angry because... that simple expression is perfect for introducing

your reason for being upset. It's still indirect - we're using that word perhaps

which softens the language - it's polite and it's effective. It helps the other

person understand why you're angry and when we do that in a polite way it makes

it easier for the other person to help us. So with that you have essential tips

for how to effectively and politely complain in English so that you get what

you want so that you solve the problem. As I mentioned, I do have more examples in the

online lesson so you can review all of those and then be sure to check out the

challenge question at the end of the lesson so that you get practice and

feedback. Now if you liked this lesson be sure to give it a thumbs up on YouTube

or share it with your friends and colleagues on Facebook. Thank you so much

for joining me and I'll see you next week for your Confident English

Wednesday lesson.