Make a Complaint Politely in English and Get What You Want

81,308 views ・ 2017-10-04

Speak Confident English


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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Hi, I'm Anne Marie with Speak Confident English and welcome to your Confident
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English Wednesday lesson. Earlier this year I did a lesson on everything you
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need to know when you want to complain about a bad day in English. Imagine that
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you've just had a terrible day and you want to talk about it with your friend
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or your coworker. But sometimes you need to make a
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complaint and you need to be effective and polite so that you get what you want.
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You resolve a problem or someone fixes something for you. And that is our focus
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today: how can you complain in English politely so that you get what you want
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in the end?
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Let's imagine that something went wrong - you had a terrible haircut at a salon or
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you ordered something from Ikea and it was missing some parts
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now you can't build your bookcase or a client missed a deadline - in all of those
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situations you might want to make a complaint and you want someone to fix
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the problem, you want a solution. To get us started on this topic we need to
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focus on indirect language in English. Indirect language is used to soften the
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tone. You're still polite and you are saying what you want but you're not
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being too aggressive or even threatening. You're being careful about showing that
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you're frustrated or angry. Remember your goal is to get a solution, to get
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something fixed and to do that we need to have a professional, polite, and
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effective tone in English. Let me give you a couple of examples to show you
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what I mean by indirect language. If I order something from a company and they
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send me the wrong product or they don't include everything that I need, I'll need
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to call the company to make a complaint and I might say: I'm sorry to have to say
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this but you sent me the wrong part. I'm sorry to say this but you sent me the
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wrong order. I'm sorry to say this... Now in reality I'm not really sorry. I'm
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actually frustrated or angry, upset because I really wanted this product
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today. But remember, my goal is to soften my language. If I'm too aggressive or I'm
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too threatening I could be offensive to the other person
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and they won't want to help me. I really want them to help me solve this problem
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so using indirect language for example I'm sorry to say this
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but... that helps us soften the language so that we can get what we want. Another
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great example is: perhaps there was a mistake in the order. Perhaps there was a
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mistake in the order. Now with that example I'm not blaming anyone. I'm not
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blaming the person I'm speaking to, I'm simply saying there was a problem
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without being too aggressive or direct. And finally another example is: excuse me
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but I think there's a problem. Excuse me but I think there's a problem with my
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order. In each of those examples that I gave you, using words like I'm sorry,
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perhaps, excuse me... those, again, help use indirect language so that we are polite
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and effective in making our complaints. Now as usual in the online lesson I've
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given you many more examples of common expressions that English speakers use to
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make complaints indirectly and you can review all of those to find which ones
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are easiest for you to remember and use when you need to make a complaint. Now
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using that indirect language is essential when you want to politely and
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effectively complain in English but let's look at a few other ways that will
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help you do that. Number one keep your voice calm. Yes, I know that you might be
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furious inside, you might be really angry. Maybe someone made a huge mistake and
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there are some terrible consequences. You might be truly angry but you want to try
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to keep your voice calm and smooth. So if you need to practice beforehand, do
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something before you have to make that phone call to get all of that anger out
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so that when you make the complaint you can keep your voice calm. A second useful
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tip is use modal verbs. Modal's are those
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words like could, should, would, might and those again help us soften the language.
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They're not so strong or direct so you might say something like: could you help
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me with this? Who should I speak to about this? Who should I talk to about this
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problem? Would you be able to help me? In all of those examples I'm using modal's
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to be more diplomatic and polite in my request for help.
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The third tip is to end your complaint with a question not a demand. And let me
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explain what I mean. If I make a complaint and I'm talking to someone on
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the telephone, I've told them what happened, why I'm upset and that I really want
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this problem fixed, I could say: I want you to fix this or fix this. But that is
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a demand and it's very direct, it's very strong and aggressive. Just changing that
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into a question and using a modal softens it it makes it more diplomatic
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and polite. For example, how can we fix this or what can you do to help me fix
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this? Is there something that you can do to help me solve this problem? In each of
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those examples I'm using a question to request help and most people, when
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someone asks them for help, they can't say no. It's really hard to just say no
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to someone when they politely ask for help. So that small change can be really
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effective when you have to make a complaint and you want someone to help
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you solve the problem or get it fixed. And my final tip for effectively and
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politely complaining in English is to always explain why you are upset
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or frustrated or angry. And a great way to do that is to use something like:
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perhaps there was a misunderstanding but I'm really frustrated because... or I'm
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really angry because... that simple expression is perfect for introducing
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your reason for being upset. It's still indirect - we're using that word perhaps
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which softens the language - it's polite and it's effective. It helps the other
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person understand why you're angry and when we do that in a polite way it makes
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it easier for the other person to help us. So with that you have essential tips
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for how to effectively and politely complain in English so that you get what
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you want so that you solve the problem. As I mentioned, I do have more examples in the
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online lesson so you can review all of those and then be sure to check out the
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challenge question at the end of the lesson so that you get practice and
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feedback. Now if you liked this lesson be sure to give it a thumbs up on YouTube
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or share it with your friends and colleagues on Facebook. Thank you so much
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for joining me and I'll see you next week for your Confident English
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Wednesday lesson.
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