How to Successfully Negotiate in English | 4 Tips + 20 Essential Phrases

105,325 views ・ 2022-10-12

Speak Confident English


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How many times have you negotiated this past year? You might be thinking, Well,
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never. I don't really negotiate in English as part of my job,
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but let me ask you this.
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When was the last time you negotiated for an extended deadline
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or asked for a change in your job schedule?
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When was the last time you asked for a promotion or a raise at work?
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When was the last time you negotiated with your spouse or partner to finish up
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the dinner dishes or when was the last time you negotiate with your kids to wake
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up and get dressed on time for school?
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It's surprising just how often we negotiate in our everyday lives.
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Knowing how to successfully negotiate not only helps you resolve conflict or
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get what you want,
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but it also helps you build better relationships and create
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lasting solutions. And this Confident English lesson today,
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you're going to learn four essential strategies,
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plus 20 phrases to help you successfully negotiate in English.
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But first, if you don't already know,
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I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English.
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Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your
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life and work in English.
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One way I do that is with my weekly Confident English lessons where I share my
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top fluency and confidence building strategies,
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targeted grammar lessons and communication skills training,
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just like in this lesson today. So while you watch this lesson,
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make sure that you give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my YouTube channel so
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you never miss one of these lessons. Now,
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let's get right to it with strategy. Number one,
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identify your ultimate goals, limits and alternatives.
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Before you enter into a negotiation,
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you have to know what you want in the end. In other words,
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you need to know your ultimate goal. To help you figure that out,
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ask yourself this question,
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What do I want the outcome of this negotiation to be?
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When you know the answer to that question,
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it's important to communicate it clearly and directly in the
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negotiation without any bells or whistles. In other words,
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without any enhancements or extra additions, you want to keep it simple.
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For example, you might have a meeting with your boss and say,
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I want to discuss getting a raise that matches my current level of expertise and
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responsibilities. With that statement,
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it's extremely clear what you are looking for. With that said,
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we don't always get exactly what we want.
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There tends to be a compromise somewhere in that negotiation,
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so you need to be prepared for that,
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and that's where knowing your ultimate limits and alternatives is important as
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well. In other words,
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if you have an ideal amount for the raise that you're looking for,
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what is the bottom limit? What is the ultimate minimum that you'd accept?
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That's your bottom limit,
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or are there any alternatives you're willing to discuss? Instead of a raise,
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are you willing to look at increased benefits?
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Knowing the answers to those questions are essential Before you go into
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that negotiation, in thinking through your goals,
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limits and alternatives,
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essentially what you're doing is identifying your bottom line.
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And once you know what that bottom line is,
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here are several phrases you can use in English to communicate it. Clearly,
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I draw the line at X because of Y. For example,
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I draw the line at getting a raise because I want to see an increase in my
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salary. With that statement,
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what you're saying is you're not interested in alternatives,
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you're not willing to discuss anything else other than an increase in your
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income. Similar to saying that you're drawing a line or setting a boundary,
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you can say X is non-negotiable because of Y.
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A raise is non-negotiable because I want to see an increase in my salary
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or anything less than X will not meet my needs.
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And lastly, I'm willing to meet you halfway at X,
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but anything less than that is non-negotiable.
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When you're willing to meet someone halfway,
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you're willing to compromise With this first strategy,
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I'm using several example sentences around the topic of asking for a raise
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at work. I did that intentionally because asking for a raise is often quite
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uncomfortable and I want you to know how to do it successfully.
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So let's finish strategy number one with a scenario that really
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brings all of this together.
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Let's say you've been in conversations with your boss about a raise
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and your boss has proposed an alternative rather than an increase in
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salary, the company wants to offer other benefits.
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You're not really interested in that,
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so here's how you could respond using what you've learned in this strategy.
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An increase in my salary is non-negotiable because it will ensure that I'm
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able to keep up with the current cost of living in this city and it matches
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my current workload here in the company.
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There's one last thing I want to mention here before we go on to strategy number
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two, and I want to underscore the importance of identifying your goals,
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limits and alternatives.
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Negotiating is also cultural, and in English speaking culture,
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it's common for us to seek a win-win solution.
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In other words, a situation in which everyone wins,
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everyone gets something that they want. Going into a negotiation,
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knowing your upper limits, your bottom limits,
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and any alternatives you're open to discussing will help you have a
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successful win in the end. And that leads me into strategy number two,
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find common ground and build rapport.
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This is part of creating an environment of seeking a
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win-win solution.
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What this means is rather than go into a negotiation or discussion
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immediately demanding what you want,
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it's important to enter into the negotiation slowly and keep in mind the
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relationship you have with the other person.
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If you know that individual or even if it's someone new to you,
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a potential client, it's important to establish rapport,
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to build a relationship, and we do that through small talk.
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Small talk allows us to identify common ground and also
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feel out where the other person is, what is their point of view,
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how are they doing?
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All of that will inform how you begin the process of negotiating.
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So once you're ready for that negotiation, that meeting that you've scheduled,
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start with some basic small talk questions such as, how's your day going? Or,
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I heard you just got back from vacation. How was it?
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Then once you've had a little bit of time to get comfortable with each other,
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you can transition into the point of the conversation.
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You might do that with something such as, Well, I don't wanna waste your time,
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so let me get right to the point.
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I'd like to discuss a raise that matches my current level of expertise
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and the responsibilities I have here at the company.
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Before we move on to strategy number three,
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let's look at one more example of a small top question you could use if
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you're meeting a potential buyer or a potential client.
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Imagine you're meeting with a potential buyer of your product for the very first
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time. You've shaken hands,
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you've just sat down and you're feeling a little bit awkward.
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How do you get things going?
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Here's a small talk question you could use in organizing this meeting with you
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today. I had the opportunity to interact with quite a few of your team members.
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You seem super organized. What's the secret in your organization?
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With that small top question,
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you are creating a friendly open environment,
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starting out with something positive and allowing a little bit of small talk to
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occur before you get into the negotiation. And now, strategy Number three,
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understand the other side just as you want to know exactly
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what your goals, limits and alternatives might be.
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You want to have a sense of what the goals, limits,
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and alternatives of the other side might be.
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Knowing what the other side is thinking or what their point of view is will
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allow you to make a better decision and weigh your options
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before you go into the negotiation.
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To weigh one's options means to assess the pros and cons of
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a situation or potential decision. In addition to that,
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understanding the other side's position will help you have stronger
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arguments. When you're ready to discuss what you want,
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not only can you anticipate what the other side wants prior to the negotiation,
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you can also ask questions during the conversation to get better insight,
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and here are several questions you can use.
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What do you think is a fair and reasonable solution,
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outcome or number and why?
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Could you please tell me more about how you arrived at X? For example,
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could you please tell me more about how you arrived at that decision,
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or could you tell me more about why you arrived at deciding?
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Offering benefits is a better choice than offering the raise.
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Similarly, why do you believe X?
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Why is X important to you?
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Why is it important to you to offer benefits as opposed to an increase in
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salary?
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What part of my proposal causes hesitancy or what part
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of my proposal is causing you concern?
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Each one of those questions will help you understand the other
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motives and anything influencing their decision. As a result,
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you are more equipped to respond appropriately,
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argue for what you want or compromise successfully.
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The last strategy for a successful negotiation in English is to
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establish trust and everything that we've talked about prior to this strategy
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helps you do that. Establishing common ground, building rapport,
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asking open ended questions to better understand someone's motive or
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situation. In addition to those strategies,
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here are four more techniques you can use to gain trust.
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Number one, speak directly and concisely.
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We talked about this a bit in strategy number one,
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when I said it's important to communicate what you want.
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Clearly this is essential for the other side,
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so there's no gray area or room for misunderstanding.
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What this means is using concrete, straightforward language,
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for example, rather than give a range of numbers, for example,
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we'd like to have this finished within the next three to five months.
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Be clear with what you want,
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provide dates and the specific results you're looking for. For example,
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we want this finished by January 5th next year.
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Do you notice the difference?
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Rather than giving some gray estimate of three to five months,
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we're giving an ultimate deadline of a date.
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Reducing the potential for misunderstanding or miscommunication is
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part of building trust.
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The second technique you can use is to show interest and openness.
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Instead of bending the truth in the negotiation,
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it's important to be sincere and honest.
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When communicating your goals and the reasons for them to bend the truth is a
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fantastic expression to know. In English,
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it means to say some of the truth, but not all of it.
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There are some things that you're hiding so that you are likely to get the
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response that you want.
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In addition to communicating your goals with sincerity and honesty,
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it's important to also ask those questions we talked about in strategy number
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three with sincerity and honesty,
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express genuine curiosity to understand someone
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else's position,
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what they're having to think through and the decisions they have to make in
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order to meet you halfway.
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The third technique you can use to build trust is to actively listen.
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Now,
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I have a whole lesson on the topic of how to show that you're actively listening
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in English, and I'll leave a link to that lesson below if you want to know more,
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but here are a couple of keys to actively listening.
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In English speaking culture, we maintain eye contact. Now,
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we don't stare nonstop. Of course, we occasionally blink and look away,
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but maintaining eye contact indicates that we're focused on you and
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what you're saying.
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What you're expressing is important enough for me to listen carefully,
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and I tell you that through eye contact. In addition to that,
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we also tend to ask clarifying questions or repeat what
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we heard you say to make sure we understood correctly. For example,
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you're saying it's not possible for your team to get this finished by January
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5th. Is that correct? Or if I understood you correctly, you're thinking X,
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Is that right? What I heard you say was X,
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Have I understood correctly? And lastly,
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could you clarify what you meant by and then repeat what it is
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that you're not really sure about?
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Before we talk about the fourth technique you can use to build trust.
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Let's look at a scenario where you might hear some of this language.
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Imagine you're traveling with a friend and at the very last minute,
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your friend wants to change the itinerary for the last couple days of your trip,
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and you're not really so sure about this.
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You like having a plan and sticking to the plan,
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so your friend proposes an idea and you summarize what you've understood by
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saying, I think I understand. So what you're saying is,
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rather than go to the museum today,
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you want to save it to the last day of our trip because you think it won't be as
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crowded. Is that right? In saying that,
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you're letting your friend know that you've listened carefully and you're
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working hard to understand their side. Now,
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you may or may not agree with that. You may want to stick to the plan,
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but you are acknowledging that you've heard and understood what your friend has
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suggested.
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And now the fourth technique you can use in strategy number four for building
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trust is to use inclusive language.
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Let's compare these two sentences.
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I want a solution that satisfies these conditions versus
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we need a solution that satisfies these conditions.
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What do you notice about those two sentences? Of course,
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the first one begins with I.
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I'm creating a conversation in which it is me against you.
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We want different things. We're not in this together. However,
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when I switch to inclusive language with the word we,
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I'm recognizing that we both want a solution.
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We both want an ideal outcome to this particular need that we have.
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We're in this together.
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We're going to work together to find a solution that makes everybody happy.
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Now that you have these four strategies on how to successfully negotiate in
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English as well as several phrases you can use, I have two questions for you.
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Number one,
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give me an example of a situation in which you might need to negotiate in
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English. It could be a situation at work or outside of work.
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What strategy or phrase did you learn today that you will use to help you
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next time? And number two,
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if you have a go-to strategy to help you successfully negotiate that
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I didn't share today, I would love to know what it is.
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With both of those questions,
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you can share your answers with me in the comments below.
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That's also a great place to share any questions you have.
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If you found today's lesson helpful, be sure to let me know.
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You can do that in one very simple way.
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Give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube, and while you're at it,
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don't forget to subscribe as well. Thank you so much for joining me,
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and I look forward to seeing you next time for your Confident English lesson.
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