How to Respond to Bad News in English with Empathy | Conversation Skills

22,248 views ・ 2024-06-05

Speak Confident English


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
I've got a question for you.
0
275
1130
00:01
How do you typically respond to others when they share bad news with you?
1
1985
3420
00:05
Like a friend sharing a difficult personal situation or a coworker
2
5675
4370
00:10
delivering difficult or disappointing news?
3
10494
2631
00:13
You and I both know that your response can truly make a difference,
4
13825
4100
00:18
and yet even in your native language, responding to bad news can be challenging.
5
18665
4900
00:24
You might worry about finding the right words or saying the wrong thing,
6
24065
4380
00:29
and this makes responding to bad news in English.
7
29105
2780
00:32
Even trickier if you're in an English conversation where someone shares bad news
8
32315
4490
00:37
and you're unsure of what to say, you might default to a simple, I'm sorry,
9
37305
4900
00:42
or even feel at a complete loss for words choosing to not say anything
10
42505
4980
00:47
at all. And that's why in this Confident English lesson today,
11
47585
3500
00:51
I want to build up your vocabulary and your know-how with the right tool so
12
51445
5000
00:56
that you can respond to bad news in English with empathy and understanding.
13
56565
4160
01:01
By sticking with me to the end of this lesson,
14
61465
2060
01:03
you'll be prepared and confident for handling delicate situations
15
63705
4700
01:08
and responding to bad news in English appropriately.
16
68705
2739
01:25
But quickly, if this is your first time here, welcome. I'm Annemarie,
17
85345
4099
01:29
an English confidence and fluency coach.
18
89445
1760
01:31
Everything I do here is designed to help you get the confidence you want for
19
91775
4430
01:36
your life and work in English.
20
96206
1519
01:38
If you'd love to get years of my Confident English lessons and free resources
21
98305
4420
01:42
for me,
22
102726
659
01:43
you can find all of that plus a free in-depth fluency training over at my
23
103385
4940
01:48
Speak Confident English website. And with that,
24
108326
2799
01:51
let's dive right into the topic of this lesson.
25
111126
2479
01:54
Before we take a look at how to respond to bad news,
26
114345
3620
01:58
let's talk about what not to do.
27
118015
1910
02:00
Have you ever heard any of these phrases in English? I know how you feel.
28
120515
4210
02:05
Look on the bright side,
29
125195
1130
02:06
everything happens for a reason or better luck next time.
30
126775
4430
02:11
While the intentions behind these words may be in the right place,
31
131615
3550
02:15
these phrases don't make someone feel that they've truly been
32
135695
4710
02:20
heard. Instead,
33
140406
1759
02:22
they take attention away from how someone else is feeling, and instead,
34
142595
4330
02:26
bring the focus on to your response and your discomfort
35
146975
4750
02:32
with handling someone's bad news.
36
152195
2010
02:35
So to better respond with empathy, we can follow a two step approach.
37
155305
4900
02:41
First,
38
161095
540
02:41
it's important to acknowledge the bad news and or the feelings that someone is
39
161635
4850
02:46
expressing. And then in step two, when it's appropriate,
40
166486
3639
02:50
you can invite action.
41
170425
1220
02:52
Let's talk a little bit more about this and go over some common phrases.
42
172455
3990
02:56
We're going to start with common phrases we can use when responding to bad news
43
176775
4630
03:01
in informal conversations.
44
181905
1900
03:04
This includes situations in which someone might be canceling dinner plans,
45
184755
4490
03:09
working overtime on the weekend, stressing out over a lost phone,
46
189794
4571
03:15
spilling ketchup on a new shirt, getting a cold,
47
195125
3520
03:19
experiencing a bad breakup, or taking care of a sick loved one.
48
199525
4560
03:24
When friends, family members,
49
204595
1449
03:26
or coworkers share these types of bad news with you,
50
206145
2860
03:29
here are some informal phrases you can use in response.
51
209675
2930
03:32
And I'm going to start with phrases that are the weakest or that
52
212605
4720
03:37
may be used in situations that are disappointing but not extremely
53
217425
4860
03:42
terrible. And then as we go through the list,
54
222525
2120
03:44
the feeling or the power of these phrases will get stronger. So first,
55
224865
4660
03:50
oh, that's such a bummer. Next, I hope you feel better soon.
56
230165
4200
03:54
This is most often used when someone is feeling ill. Then,
57
234635
4170
03:59
sorry, that's rough or that's awful. That's disappointing.
58
239455
4270
04:04
Oh, I'm so sorry. What can I do to help you feel better? That's awful.
59
244465
4340
04:09
Do you wanna talk about it? Oh, no. That's terrible. I'm so sorry.
60
249425
4780
04:15
That's horrible. I'm sorry this is happening to you. That's so unfair.
61
255145
4860
04:20
You deserve better. And finally, I can't believe it. What do you need right now?
62
260665
4700
04:25
How can I help?
63
265545
833
04:26
Each of those phrases acknowledges the negative feeling or emotions someone has,
64
266755
4330
04:31
and in some cases they go a step further by offering some sort of
65
271785
4860
04:36
action step, for example, an offer to help or to listen. Now,
66
276705
4740
04:41
before we go on to look at more formal phrases we can use,
67
281446
2999
04:44
I want to pause for just a moment and highlight two scenarios that walk through
68
284765
4639
04:49
how we might use these phrases. In scenario number one.
69
289705
3580
04:53
Let's imagine a friend of yours cancels dinner plans 30 minutes before your
70
293286
4919
04:58
reservation, just before you leave your house,
71
298206
2758
05:01
she calls to tell you that she has to cancel because she has to attend to a
72
301025
4340
05:05
family matter. Maybe someone at home is sick and that situation,
73
305366
4279
05:09
here's how you could respond. Oh no, that's terrible. I'm so sorry to hear that.
74
309785
4860
05:15
I hope everything will be okay and we can catch up another time soon.
75
315325
3440
05:19
In this response,
76
319385
860
05:20
we've acknowledged the bad news with empathy and left the door open to another
77
320255
4230
05:24
opportunity in the future. And now scenario number two. In this instance,
78
324486
4839
05:29
let's imagine a sibling of yours has recently broken up with a boyfriend
79
329415
4870
05:34
or girlfriend, so when responding to that news, you might say,
80
334286
4118
05:39
that's awful. I'm so sorry to hear this happened. What do you need right now?
81
339145
4220
05:44
Once again, this response is simple, empathetic,
82
344115
3170
05:47
and it includes an opportunity to take action by offering help.
83
347505
3860
05:52
Now that you have great examples of how to respond to bad news for more informal
84
352345
4619
05:57
situations or perhaps a better word to use would be casual or with people that
85
357135
4550
06:01
you know very well, let's switch to more formal language.
86
361686
4039
06:06
This would be appropriate for work-related circumstances when talking with
87
366195
4570
06:11
coworkers you don't know very well or any conversations with an acquaintance.
88
371205
4080
06:16
Example,
89
376035
660
06:16
situations that might be appropriate here include someone losing a job,
90
376695
4670
06:22
losing a beloved pet, losing a big client,
91
382025
4020
06:26
getting in a car accident or getting a car stolen,
92
386835
3730
06:31
getting severely injured,
93
391275
1730
06:33
missing a major deadline or resigning from a job.
94
393435
4370
06:38
Some common phrases you could use to respond in these circumstances include,
95
398435
4010
06:43
I'm sorry to hear that. Please let me know what I can do to help.
96
403464
3061
06:47
I'm very sorry. That must be awful, difficult, scary, or frustrating.
97
407225
4420
06:52
That's unfortunate news and I hope we can find a way to move forward soon.
98
412065
4620
06:57
I'm so sorry to hear that. What awful news, I'm so sorry.
99
417625
3980
07:02
What can I do to help? I'm sorry to hear such terrible news.
100
422115
3730
07:06
I'm very sorry. I truly don't know what to say. And finally,
101
426585
4180
07:11
I'm disappointed to hear that,
102
431345
1340
07:13
but I know we can find a way to work through this together. Once again,
103
433025
3860
07:16
let's take a look at two example scenarios where we might use these more formal
104
436886
4319
07:21
responses in workplace situations where someone has shared some bad news with
105
441685
4160
07:25
you, and we'll start with our first scenario.
106
445846
2759
07:29
Someone that you work with has lost their job.
107
449195
2410
07:32
Imagine a coworker sharing with you that they've just been laid off.
108
452315
4330
07:37
This news is unexpected to you and you might respond with,
109
457395
3690
07:41
I'm very sorry to hear that. I truly don't know what to say.
110
461785
2980
07:45
What can I do to help? Right now?
111
465275
1690
07:47
This particular response is appropriate because you acknowledge the terrible
112
467835
4290
07:52
news that you've just heard without making any assumptions about your employer.
113
472235
4890
07:57
The truth is you don't know exactly what all the reasons are for this person
114
477705
4740
08:02
losing their job. And in this same breath,
115
482446
2959
08:05
you offer support to your coworker who might need it.
116
485825
3020
08:09
In our second more formal scenario,
117
489345
1900
08:11
let's say that you're a manager of a team and one of your team members has
118
491375
3990
08:15
recently missed a significant deadline. This news, of course,
119
495845
4200
08:20
is disappointing. So when they bring this to your attention,
120
500305
3540
08:24
here's how you might respond.
121
504225
1460
08:26
I'm disappointed to hear that we didn't make this deadline and we'll need to
122
506505
4220
08:30
think about how to make up for lost time. What solutions do you have in mind?
123
510726
3999
08:35
This response does acknowledge the unfortunate turn of events, however,
124
515395
4370
08:40
it shifts its focus to being
125
520145
1900
08:43
oriented with the intent of finding a solution together.
126
523605
3640
08:47
It's a more empathetic and efficient approach for the workplace.
127
527875
3570
08:52
To finish out this lesson today,
128
532265
1539
08:54
I want to talk through how to respond to particularly sad or
129
534005
5000
08:59
shocking news. For example, if a friend,
130
539285
2560
09:01
family member or coworker is grieving due to the loss of a loved one
131
541865
4860
09:06
or going through a divorce in these situations,
132
546825
3500
09:10
here are some responses that are particularly empathetic and appropriate.
133
550395
4970
09:16
I wish I had the right words to say right now.
134
556325
2320
09:19
Just know that I care deeply and I'm ready to listen. If you want to talk,
135
559235
4330
09:24
I'm truly sorry for your loss.
136
564304
1701
09:26
This is particularly used when someone is grieving due to the loss of a loved
137
566475
4090
09:30
one.
138
570566
738
09:31
Please accept my sincerest condolences or my sincerest sympathies.
139
571304
4741
09:36
This one is also most often used when responding to the news of someone passing
140
576835
4969
09:41
away. If you need anything at all, I'm here for you. And lastly,
141
581915
4570
09:46
my heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry. With those few examples in place,
142
586905
4700
09:51
let's talk briefly through how to best respond.
143
591695
3150
09:54
If someone you know shares news of someone they love passing away,
144
594905
4540
09:59
the next time you're in one of those conversations, you can simply say,
145
599985
3940
10:04
I am so sorry for your loss. If there's anything I can do to help,
146
604245
3800
10:08
please let me know. In this lesson today,
147
608046
2679
10:10
I've shared multiple examples of how to best respond to bad news in English,
148
610755
4650
10:15
but this list is not exhaustive.
149
615785
2140
10:17
There may be phrases that you've learned and used before that are meaningful,
150
617926
4919
10:23
empathetic, and effective when responding to bad news.
151
623605
2920
10:27
So if there's a phrase that I didn't mention here,
152
627065
2900
10:30
I would love for you to share it in the comments below,
153
630445
2120
10:33
you might have a phrase that is exactly what someone else in the Speak Confident
154
633385
4660
10:38
English community needs. With that, thank you so much for joining me today.
155
638046
4279
10:42
I hope that you found this lesson helpful. If you did,
156
642525
2880
10:45
I would love to know and you can tell me in a few very simple ways. First,
157
645925
4240
10:50
you can give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube, and second,
158
650225
3380
10:53
you can subscribe to this channel so you never miss one of my Confident English
159
653705
4380
10:58
lessons. Lastly,
160
658086
1399
10:59
you can also share a comment down below or jump on over to my Speak Confident
161
659545
4180
11:03
English website, visit this lesson and share a comment there as well.
162
663726
3759
11:07
Thanks again, and I'll see you next time.
163
667945
2140
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7