English Small Talk with Your Boss | Build Rapport and Credibility

Making small talk with senior leaders at work. I know I'm on video right now,

but I feel like I can hear you doing this,

sucking your breath in with all that anxiety and you're definitely not alone

in feeling anxious or uncertain when it comes to striking up conversations with

executives in your workplace.

It's completely normal to feel intimidated after all.

These individuals not only have extensive experience,

but they also take on roles of authority where you work. But here's the truth.

Ultimately there just people like you and me and today in this

Confident English lesson,

I'm going to show you just how simple it can be to start a conversation,

make a positive impression,

and maybe even establish some rapport that can benefit your career

in the long run. In this lesson,

we're going to walk through some easy-to-use tips, strategies,

and questions so you feel both comfortable and confident in these common

interactions. So whether it's at the coffee machine,

in an elevator or at a company event, you'll be ready to engage.

So if you're ready to turn those awkward situations into opportunities,

let's get started with how to have small talk with senior leaders in your

workplace. You might be surprised just how simple it can be.

Now, very quickly, if this is your first time here, welcome. I'm Annemarie,

an English confidence and fluency coach.

Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your

life and work in English. If you'd love to get years of lessons from me,

including numerous lessons on small talk,

you can find all of that and much more over at my Speak Confident English

website. While you're there,

I recommend downloading my free fluency training called How to Get the

Confidence to Say What You Want In English. Alright,

now to boost your small talk skills, we're going to do a few things. First,

I wanna talk through three essential tips when it comes to small talk with

senior leaders. Then we'll go through a three-step process.

You can follow consistently and along the way,

I'll give you great example questions to use. So first,

I've got three small talk tips for you to keep in mind to help calm those

nerves or push some of that anxiety away. First,

remember that your boss or any senior leader in your company is human

just like you. Your boss has interests, feelings,

thoughts and experiences happening throughout the day.

It's always appropriate to initiate a small talk conversation with a simple

question about how someone's day is going.

The second tip for small talk with senior leaders is to keep your

conversations heavy on the professional side and light on the

personal to keep these conversational interactions work appropriate.

It's best to stick to professional topics such as your work experience,

things that you're learning or the company itself. Then from time to time,

your small talk conversations with senior leaders could look at making

connections on a more personal level. For example,

you might have a discussion over a shared love of a particular podcast,

an article, a book, or some event that's happening in the news right now.

But for the most part,

your small talk interactions with senior leaders will emphasize work-related

topics.

And tip number three when it comes to small talk with senior leaders is to

embrace brief exchanges. As you know,

your boss is very busy and may not have the time or energy to invest

in a lengthy conversation. Not only that,

but your boss may have worked to create clear boundaries with workplace

relationships and as a result, conversations in the workplace,

particularly those that are more personal, might be very brief.

As a result,

it's important to be open to fluctuations in terms of the depth and

length of your conversations with senior leaders at work.

With those tips in mind,

I want to share with you a three-step approach to help you be confident

and effective in your workplace interactions.

I'm going to give you a very quick overview of these three steps and then we'll

take a look at each one in depth.

The first step in this approach is to plan ahead. Now, of course,

we can't plan for every social interaction.

It's inevitable that there will be a situation where you unexpectedly run into a

senior leader and have an opportunity to have a quick exchange. However,

there are times when you know that you'll have that opportunity. For example,

there may be a company event coming up soon or perhaps you know that a senior

leader will be visiting your department next week.

When we talk about this particular step in depth,

I'll give you some key things to think through to help you prepare in advance.

The second step in this approach is to listen and connect.

What that means is once you've initiated that small talk conversation,

it's important to listen actively paying attention to little bits of

information or key details because this will allow you to ask better

follow-up questions and in the end have a more meaningful exchange.

And then step number three in this approach end on a positive note.

This means to end your interaction with some positive statement or

action step. Let's take a closer look at each one of these steps.

As I mentioned, step number one is plan ahead.

When you know that you'll have an opportunity to interact with a senior leader

at a meeting coming up next week,

a visit to your department or a company retreat,

you can take time to plan ahead with some key questions in mind.

Preparing in advance will help you feel confident and ready the moment you have

that interaction. It'll also lead to more meaningful exchanges.

When you're in the preparation phase,

there are a few questions for you to ask yourself,

some considerations to take into account. For example,

you might start thinking about where you will be,

will you encounter this particular senior leader at a networking event,

at a corporate dinner or a more relaxed networking company environment?

How much time do you think you'll have in that interaction?

What is the particular purpose of the event or meeting?

What does this senior leader already know about you? And lastly,

what topic might be most appropriate to discuss in that particular time

and place? Once you've thought through those initial questions,

the next one is the most important.

What is the key message that you want to share with your boss or that senior

leader in your conversation? For example,

do you want your boss to learn more about your expertise,

receive an update about an ongoing project,

or know more about your professional motivation?

Once you've made a few notes with these particular questions in mind,

you can then begin to consider the topics or questions that would be

relevant and appropriate to the situation that you'll be in. For example,

if you know your boss will be visiting your department next week,

spending time to get to know your team,

it's obvious that that would not be an appropriate time to try making

some personal connection by having a conversation about your kids.

However,

if your company is hosting a casual dinner for all of its employees,

you might have a more personal interaction at that time.

With those guidelines in place,

let's take a look at a few questions that are great ways to get a small talk

conversation going. If for example,

you and your boss are at the same conference, you might ask,

what did you think of the presentation?

Did you enjoy it or did you learn anything new?

Whether your conversation is planned or unplanned,

you can always start with how's your day going?

Or let's say that you recently noticed your bosses reading a particular book and

during a casual part of the day, maybe over a lunch break you might say,

I noticed you were reading X. What do you think of it so far? And finally,

if you know that your boss has been traveling recently,

when they come back to the office, you might say, how was your trip?

Do you notice that? With each of those questions,

I first explained the context or the situation to make sure that the

question asked is relevant.

Going through those key questions I asked you to consider in step number one

will help you make sure that your questions are always appropriate to the

situation that you're in.

The second step for an effective small talk conversation with a senior leader is

to relax, listen, and connect. As I highlighted in step number one,

we don't always get the luxury of preparing in advance.

There will be situations in which you unexpectedly bump into someone and

have an opportunity to start a small talk conversation. In that moment,

the best thing you can do is relax and analyze.

Do a quick mental scan of some of those questions I shared with you earlier.

For example,

you can very quickly mentally analyze where are you at that particular moment?

Why are you there and does your boss look like he or she is in a rush?

While you're mentally scanning those questions,

you can certainly smile and greet your boss with a good morning,

a good afternoon, hello, et cetera.

Now let me give you a quick example of some different circumstances that might

help you think about the best question to begin with. For example,

you might bump into your boss in the elevator on the way up to

a very important meeting and you have about 10 seconds together,

or you might be getting coffee on a weekend with your family and

unexpectedly run into your boss at a coffee shop.

These are two extremely different circumstances that would result in very

different questions. Now,

if you're not sure what to do or what to say in either of those scenarios,

the best question to start with is simply, how's your day going?

Or it's good to see you? How's your day going?

Once you've asked that first question, the next part of this step is crucial.

Listen actively.

That means pay close attention to what your boss says so

that you can identify key pieces of information or details that will allow

you to ask follow up questions. For example,

if you're in an elevator with your boss and you ask how their day is going,

your boss might respond by saying that she's quite busy today due to a project

that you're familiar with. In this case,

you might comment on your own experience with that particular project or

compliment your boss on how they've handled that particular project so far.

Or if for example,

you're on your way out of the office at the end of the workday and you run into

your boss after hearing about how their day is going,

your boss might indicate that she's on her way to pick up her kids from school,

and in this circumstance,

because your boss has shared something outside of the workplace,

it would be appropriate to ask a related question. For example,

how old her kids might be.

Listening for these little bits of information is the key to

ultimately making a connection,

and it's the quality of these connections that will make your conversations more

interesting and allow you to establish rapport or even leave a lasting

impression. Now,

a final note on step number two is it's important to always

read the room.

To read The room means that you pay attention to the subtle nonverbal

details that give information or clues about someone's energy,

their feelings or thoughts at a particular moment. For example,

if your boss appears relaxed and is answering your questions at length,

then it's an indication that they're interested in the conversation and it would

be perfectly appropriate to keep it going for a period of time. However,

if their responses are particularly curt or short or it seems that they're not

really paying attention,

this is a sign that it's time to bring that conversation to a close,

and that leads me to step number three, end on a positive note.

Let's take a look at a few great examples and then I'll highlight how to end on

a positive note in a real life scenario.

When it's time to bring your small talk conversation to a close,

try using one of these phrases. It was wonderful talking to you.

I hope you have a great day. Thanks for the great conversation.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

If you want to reference a particular topic that you've been discussing,

you can bring that into your closing by saying,

I hope we can talk more about this soon. Have a great day,

or I hope we can talk more about X soon,

and you might highlight the key topic or maybe a book that you've been

discussing, for example. Lastly, thank you for your time.

I really enjoyed our conversation. Now,

if you're not sure how to bring these into the end of the conversation,

let me give you an example.

Let's say that you and your boss have been having a conversation about a podcast

that you're both listening to After some back and forth,

it's clear that your boss needs to get on with her day or perhaps you have a

meeting to get to, so it's time to bring the conversation to a close.

Here's how you could do that. I know you have a busy day,

so I don't wanna take up all your time,

but it was really fun talking to you about this and let me know what you think

about the next episode. I think you'll love it, and then once you've said that,

you can say your goodbyes and go on with your day. With that,

you have a simple three-step approach you can use any time

you have an opportunity to enjoy a small talk conversation with a senior

leader in your workplace. Now, before we finish today,

I've got a bonus for you if you want a little bit more information to see how

all of these steps interact together.

If you visit this lesson over at my Speak Confident English website,

I've provided two dialogues that you can review where you'll see

each of these steps played out in the conversation.

You can easily access this lesson by going to the notes below this video,

and I'll also share a link in the top corner as well. With that,

thank you so much for joining me today.

I hope that you found this lesson helpful, and if you did, I would love to know.

You can tell me in a few very simple ways. Number one,

give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube, and number two,

make sure you subscribe to my Speak Confident English Channel so you never miss

one of my Confident English lessons. Lastly,

you can share a comment with me down below. Thanks again for joining me,

and I look forward to seeing you next time.