Great Answers to Small Talk Questions in English | English Conversation Practice

When you're in a small talk conversation in English,

how can you be sure that your answers to common small talk questions are

just right? On my Speak Confident English, YouTube channel,

I've recently received this comment about answering small talk questions

in English. I'm good with asking questions that initiate conversation,

but I always get nervous and tripped up when it's my turn to

answer and share about myself.

Do you ever feel the same way in English speaking culture?

What exactly is expected from you in a small talk

conversation and how do you find the right balance between adding

the appropriate amount of detail? Without saying too much?

I've got answers to those questions for you coming right up.

Now, if you don't already know, I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English,

everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your

life and work in English.

One way I do that is by sharing my Confident English lessons.

Every Wednesday in these lessons,

I share my top confidence and fluency building strategies,

advanced level vocabulary, and training on communication skills.

Just like in this lesson today, while you're here,

make sure that you subscribe to my Speak Confident English channel.

So you never miss one of my weekly lessons. Now,

before we get to great answers to small talk questions in English,

if you're struggling with what kinds of questions to ask in a

small talk conversation, I have multiple lessons available for you.

In fact, my lessons on English,

small talk questions are some of my most popular lessons here on YouTube.

I'll share links to several of them in the notes below, but for today,

let's shift our focus to the answers.

How do you give great answers to small talk questions in English?

When it comes to having a successful small talk conversation in English,

there are three key questions you need to consider. Number one,

what is expected of you in the conversation based on who you're speaking

to and the situation you're in consideration, number two,

how much do you share in a small talk conversation?

How can you be sure to give just the right amount of detail?

Not saying too much and not saying too little and consideration number three,

how do you find ideas of what to say so that you don't feel stuck

in the middle of the conversation?

Let's walk through each of those considerations with key strategies,

important knowhow and example answers to common,

small talk questions in English. So that by the end of this lesson today,

you have absolute clarity on how to respond successfully

to small talk questions in English. So let's start at the beginning.

What exactly is expected of you in a small talk

conversation?

This is an ideal time to remember that language is culture

in English, speaking culture.

Small talk is a form of politeness.

It's an opportunity to recognize the humanity of someone else.

Small talk is also a way to establish a connection with others.

It allows us to tip toe into a deeper relationship or

a deeper conversation if there's a connection and last but

not least small talk is a quick conversation with

back and forth or give and take. In other words,

I ask you a question. You give me a quick answer. You ask me a question.

I give you a quick answer and we go back and forth.

No one dominates the conversation.

And this leads me to what small talk is not

small talk is not a profound or lengthy conversation.

There's no expectation that you have a long story prepared

and you don't need to worry about having advanced level grammar structures or

high level vocabulary. Small talk is simple,

quick and easy conversation. And of course,

small talk is typically a conversation we have with people we don't know very

well. For example, a colleague that you see at the office regularly,

but you don't have a close relationship with.

It may be a professional peer at a networking event or a neighbor who lives down

the street or small talk might be a polite conversation

with an absolute stranger, someone that you're never going to see again,

for example, a woman at the checkout counter in a grocery store,

your Uber driver,

a dental hygienist or someone you're sitting next to on a three hour flight.

So with all of that in mind,

here are four things you need to know about what is expected of you in

a small talk conversation in English. Number one,

it's expected that you are present in the conversation and that you're

polite.

That means no looking at your phone or trying to ignore the other person.

Number two, it's expected that you give and take.

This means to have a quick exchange of question and answer.

No one is dominating.

No one is giving lengthy stories and preferably

no one is giving one word answers.

The third expectation is that you listen carefully to help you find

connections. And finally,

the fourth expectation is that you are prepared to share

something about yourself.

It doesn't have to be deeply personal or too serious,

but you do need to be ready to share details about yourself,

about your life,

because this is how connections are made before we get into

talking about how much should you really say in a small

talk conversation.

Let me give you a quick example of a real small talk conversation I had

recently that demonstrates these expectations.

And in this example,

I'm actually going to use a question that I recommend in my lesson

titled easy, social, small talk questions.

This small talk conversation happened just a few days ago.

When I returned home from a trip, I got into a car and said to the driver,

it's rush hour in DC right now, which I know is always super stressful.

How's your day going so far with a short, easy response.

The driver said it's been pretty easy, but I've had a lot of airport trips.

Are you coming to DC for a visit or are you coming home?

My quick response coming home,

I was just out of town for a few days to visit family, but I'm glad to be home.

What about you?

Are you a DC native and his response to that actually I'm from

Mongolia, but I've been living here in DC for the last seven years.

Let me stop here with that example,

do you notice that every response was short and simple

and every response ended with a question for the other person,

there was clear, polite, back and forth happening.

And each question asked was related to what had been previously

said,

demonstrating that each of us was listening to the other person carefully,

as you probably noticed. There were also a few personal details,

nothing too serious. However, in my answers,

I shared that I was coming home to DC and I had recently been traveling to see

family in a moment.

We're going to come back to this conversation because after those first

initial small talk questions, I had a choice to make.

I could either bring the conversation to a polite close and spend the rest of

the time in the car, on my phone checking email,

or I could continue the conversation. But for now,

this is the perfect time to transition to the second key consideration

we talked about earlier,

how much information should you share with the person you're

speaking to?

What is too much and what is not enough to answer this

correctly and to ensure a successful conversation.

There are three things we need to think about first.

What is your relationship with the person you're speaking to?

Are you speaking to someone who is a total stranger?

Is it a vague acquaintance or is it a coworker that you see daily,

but don't know very well.

The second thing you want to think about when determining how much to share is

the specific situation or context that you're in,

is it a random conversation in the middle of a busy street or during a

busy time at the grocery store?

Or are you at a networking event trying to build a relationship?

Are you just passing time using small talk as a form of entertainment?

For example, just before a business meeting starts.

And the third thing to think about when determining how much to share

is how much time are you going to have with this person?

Are you just passing by someone you kind of know on the street,

are you sitting next to a stranger on an airplane for the next three hours?

Or is it a quick Monday morning conversation at work while you're pouring

yourself a cup of coffee,

these details will impact the extent to which you

share and what kind of details you include when responding to

small talk questions in English,

we're going to take a look at a few different examples and how we might adjust

our answers based on these different scenarios. But before we do,

here are some helpful guidelines to think about.

If the individual you're speaking to or initiating small talk conversation with

is a complete stranger,

it's better to keep your answers broader or more general.

Particularly at the beginning,

remember that small talk is intended to be polite, easy and simple.

So there's no need to rush into anything too personal it's best

to stay light.

This is why you'll often hear English speakers start small talk

conversations about the weather, no matter where you are.

It can be in line at the coffee shop,

checking out at the grocery store or talking to someone at the doctor's office.

However, if the person you're speaking to is someone that, you know,

maybe not very well, but a coworker or a neighbor,

then it's definitely appropriate to include family

details, personal details,

or maybe even give answers that get into how you feel about

something or what your opinion might be. In other words,

the stronger connection you have with someone,

the more details you might add,

and the more personal you might be to demonstrate this and to look

at how we might adjust our answers.

Let's use another example from my less entitled, easy social,

small talk questions. If you've already reviewed that lesson, then you know,

a common way to start a small talk conversation is to begin with a compliment

followed by a question recently,

one of my students experienced this here in the United States,

she's from Brazil and she was visiting New York city.

While walking down a busy street,

a total stranger came up to her and said, oh my gosh, I love your shoes.

Where'd you get them in that moment?

My student wasn't really sure what to say or how to respond.

Why is this total stranger in the middle of New York city,

talking with her and starting a conversation to help us think about

how to respond in a polite, appropriate way.

Let's use our three considerations,

the relationship with the person you're in the situation and the length of time.

In this example, we have a complete stranger on a busy New York street.

Clearly there isn't a lot of time to get into an in depth

conversation. In fact,

there isn't much time to give very many details at all,

but there is the expectation for a polite response

in this context, an appropriate answer might be thank you so much.

Unfortunately, I didn't get them here in the United States and that's it.

At that point, the light might change to green.

Everybody starts walking and there's really not an opportunity to ask another

question or have any sort of back and forth. However,

a small talk conversation did happen. It was easy, simple,

and polite. Now let's change this scene just a little bit.

This time you're at work making coffee on Monday morning in the break room,

one of your coworkers walks in and says exactly the same thing. Oh my gosh,

I love your shoes. Where'd you get them this time?

You know the person you're at work, where you see each other regularly,

and you probably have a few minutes together because you're waiting for the

coffee to brew because of this closer relationship.

And because you have a bit more time,

an appropriate answer to that question would be thanks so much.

I just got 'em last week at Macy's and they're so comfortable for standing

around all day on my feet at work. What about you?

What are your go-to shoes for work? In this example,

we have a bit more detail where you got the shoes and why you like them.

And we have a polite related question for back and

forth. We're inviting the other person into the conversation.

What makes this exchange successful is first

we've avoided a one word answer.

Short answers such as yes, no thanks.

Good. These answers lead to awkward moments of silence,

uncomfortable conversations, and disappointing experiences.

In this response,

we also avoided giving too much detail

or dominating the conversation.

There were no long stories about the lines at Macy's or forgetting

a wallet in the car. It was a short, quick,

polite response with just one or two key details.

And that's all you need.

If you're someone who loves a good formula,

you just want to know exactly how much you need to say.

Considering just one or two details is enough.

It's important to know that in small talk again,

the expectation is that it is quick back and forth.

If someone wants to know more about your experience or your story

or your ideas, your opinions, they will ask for more.

So keeping your answers short, simple,

and polite is all you need.

Before we talk about that last key consideration of how you

can identify details to share so that you don't feel stuck in the middle

of a conversation. Let's talk about small talk questions.

When you have a lot more time. For example,

those 15 minute Uber drives or a three hour flight in

the last two examples,

I shared a busy New York street and while making coffee at the office,

it was clear that there wasn't a lot of time for conversation. However,

when driving to an airport across the city or sitting next to someone on a

flight, it's clear that you have a lot of time.

And in these situations you have two options after some of that initial

small talk. If it occurs first,

you can bring the conversation to a polite close,

and I'll give you a few examples of how to do that in a moment.

Your second option is to keep the conversation going,

perhaps in those first small talk questions, you find an interesting connection.

You're enjoying the conversation. So you keep going further.

At the beginning of this lesson today, I shared a recent example.

I had of a conversation on my way home.

After arriving in DC,

the Uber driver had just shared that he was originally from Mongolia,

but had been living in DC for the last seven years.

If I had wanted to bring that conversation to a close,

here are a few polite phrases I could use to do that. Wow,

that's really interesting. I hope that you've enjoyed being here in DC.

If you don't mind,

I'm gonna take the last few minutes to catch up on my work email because I

missed quite a bit while I was on the flight.

Or if you're sitting next to someone on an airplane after the first

few minutes of a small talk conversation,

you might wanna go back to your book or just listen to some music.

That's usually what I like to do.

So here are some ways I bring those conversations to a close.

I hope you have fun visiting your family. If you don't mind,

I'm gonna try to get a nap for the remainder of the flight.

I had to get up super early today. And then from there,

you can put on your headphones,

close your eyes and not worry about continuing the conversation.

A third polite option to close a conversation would be,

it sounds like you had a great time on your vacation. I'm glad to hear it. Well,

if you don't mind, I'm gonna get back to my book.

I don't get a lot of free time to myself.

So I relish these opportunities on flights to get into a good novel.

And from there, you can get your book out and get back to reading.

However, as I said,

if you found a connection and you want to keep the conversation going,

you can certainly do that by asking continued small talk questions.

And as those connections get stronger,

the questions you ask might get a bit more personal or more in depth.

And now our third key consideration for how to give great answers

to small talk questions in English is how exactly do you get

ideas for what to say so that you don't feel stuck?

I have three quick tips for you on this one. Number one,

use question words, number two,

share bite sized information. And number three,

add hooks with conjunctions to expand.

Let's take a look at each of those a bit more in depth with tip number one,

use question words.

Those are w H and H words such as who,

what, when, where, why, how, how many, how often,

how long and so on when someone asks you a small talk

question, for example,

if your neighbor says your garden looks beautiful,

what's your secret to growing healthy plants?

A response could be thanks so much.

I guess I've always had a bit of a green thumb. When I was growing up.

My family had a big garden.

One thing I learned is to never over water your plants.

What about you? Are you a gardener? Similarly,

if someone asks you about what you do for fun in your free time,

a response might be, well, I don't get a whole lot of time to myself,

but when I do, I try to stay offline for the last few years.

I've been learning to paint. What about you?

What do you do when you have time in each of these examples?

I'm sharing just one or two key details in the answer.

And I'm finishing with a question and this brings me to tip number three,

add a hook with conjunctions to expand a hook is

something you say to keep someone's attention.

It's what you say to engage someone or to keep them listening to you.

And conjunctions are words such as because so,

and since four, but when we use these,

it helps us to add that next detail into the sentence.

For example, if someone asks you how you're doing,

you can avoid a one word answer by using a conjunction in

one of these example, sentence starters.

My day's been great because I'm doing pretty well since

it's been a little difficult because it's going great. Thanks.

I'm looking forward to it and it could be better.

But with each of those,

it's clear that more information should follow those conjunctions.

When we use them, it helps us to add those important details.

If we review the last two example answers I shared with you,

you'll notice I used conjunctions in both.

And the first one about growing healthy plants I used,

because I guess I have a bit of a green thumb because,

and then I continued with my details in the second one. I said,

well, I don't have a lot of free time to myself. So,

and then once again,

I continued with my detail when it comes to providing great answers,

to small talk questions in English and having a successful conversation.

Here are the four key things I want you to remember from today's lesson.

Small talk is polite, easy, quick conversation.

While you're having the conversation.

It's important to reflect on the relationship you have with the individual,

how much time you have together and the situation you're in.

It's important to keep your answers detailed.

But brief one to two details is more than enough.

And if someone wants to know more, they'll ask lastly,

you can activate ideas and avoid getting stuck by using question words,

to help you and use conjunctions,

to expand your answer with that.

You have everything you need to know about what is expected of you and how to

have fantastic small talk conversations in English.

If you found this lesson helpful to you today, I would love to know.

You can tell me in two simple ways. Number one,

give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube and number two,

subscribe to this channel. So you don't miss my future lessons.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

And I look forward to seeing you next time.