3 ways to get what you want in English: orders, requests & suggestions

Aaron, take that away.

I need to work.

Could you play somewhere else?

Are you bored, Aaron?

Why don’t you go outside to play?

Do you need to get people to do what you want in English?

Then this lessons for you.

There are lots of different ways but we’re going to look at three common ones today and

compare them.

First, orders.

Oh, well give me your number.

Give me your pen.

I need it.

Just for a moment.

You'll give it back.

I just want to borrow it.

Sorry, what was that?

Oh, well give me your number.

Give me your pen.

I need it.

Just for a moment.

You'll give it back.

I just want to borrow it.

Sorry, what was that?

Instructions like these are direct and to the point.

We just say what they have to do.

But we can be less direct and ask people to do things instead.

So here’s a second way.

Could you pass the cheese?

Sure.

Thank you.

Could you pass the cheese?

Sure.

Thank you.

So instead of telling people to do things, we can ask them with requests like this.

OK, so what’s the third way of getting people to do what you want?

Well, we can be even more indirect and make suggestions.

Ahhh.

I am so tired.

Why don’t you go and lie down?

That's a really good idea.

Ahhh.

I am so tired.

Why don’t you go and lie down?

That's a really good idea.

So orders, requests, suggestions – what’s the difference?

In theory we use orders when we can force someone to do something.

If we have power, we can command them.

Aaron, take that away.

Aaron, take that away.

Requests are a bit different because if we ask someone to do something, they have a choice.

I need to work.

Could you play somewhere else?

I need to work.

Could you play somewhere else?

So how are requests different from suggestions?

Well, the idea is we use requests when we think something will be good for us.

And we use suggestions when we think it’ll be good for them.

Are you bored Aaron?

Why don’t you go outside to play?

Are you bored Aaron?

Why don’t you go outside to play?

Researchers have found that English speakers often make requests and suggestions where,

in other languages, people might just give orders.

It’s like we want to pretend that the other person has a choice even when they don’t.

Why do we do that?

I don’t know.

It’s just a custom.

But it theory it’s like this: order, request, suggestion.

Forcing them, good for us, good for them - in theory.

In practice it’s a bit more complicated because it depends who’s talking and what

the situation is and we have lots of other ways to get people to do what we want.

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