Family Relationships & Idioms┃Learn American English Pronunciation On the Go

Rachel: Welcome to the Rachel's English podcast. I'm so glad to have you here. 

It's my goal that you would listen to this podcast every week and be able to understand Americans  

better and to feel better about your American English accent and conversation skills. 

If you need a copy of the transcript of this podcast,  

just visit rachelsenglish.com/podcast and  look for this episode. It's absolutely  

free to download. This podcast goes with a video that just got published on my YouTube  

channel on—a, it was a vocabulary builder  video on family relationships. David,  

you didn't get to see that one  yet. It just came out yesterday.

David: No. I haven’t even seen it yet. 

Rachel: But actually, a lot of your family  is in that. You're in that video.

David: Yeah. I remember the, when we shot it, 

it seemed like it was going to be great.

Rachel: Yeah. I shot it when we were all on vacation  

with David’s family at the beach back in June. And we talk about things like sister, mother-in-law,  

cousin. And I actually draw out a family tree. So, we go over a lot of terms in that video,  

and I will link to that video in the show notes to this podcast. So, you, it's not necessary to  

have seen it before listening to this podcast, but it might be worth a watch. A couple of terms that  

I didn't go over in that video, I wanted to go  over in the podcast. And I talked about cousins,  

and you know, all of Stoney’s cousins in that video, but I didn't talk about second cousins. So,  

I should have taken my camera to Michigan, where we were hanging out with all of my cousins. So,  

that meant that their children and my child were second cousins. So, second cousins are people who,  

whose parents are first cousins. And first  cousins are people whose parents are siblings.

Now, if I'm talking about my first cousin, Nicole, and I'm talking about her children—so, to Stoney,  

they're second cousins, but what are they to me? To me, they are first cousins once removed. So,  

the children of any of your cousins are once removed. The grandchildren of your cousins are  

twice removed. So, if Gina ever has a kid,  then that kid will be my first cousin twice  

removed. We're getting really complicated  with the family tree here. Some people are  

really into that. I have an uncle on both sides that are so into the family tree, and you know,  

if you meet somebody, they can tell you,  oh, he's your fourth cousin once removed  

or whatever. He knows everything about how you're related to everyone else. David,  

do you have any family tree buffs,  family history buffs, in the family?

David: I don't know if they're as major as your two uncles.  

Your two uncles are pretty impressive.

Rachel: Really?

David: Shout-out to Uncle John and Uncle Frank.

Rachel: Yeah. Uncle John has pulled out this family  

tree once that's just massive. I mean, I don’t know how—and it's so hard to organize. You know,  

when you're dealing with many generation and you're trying to map them out on a family tree,  

I think it's really hard.

David: Yeah. So, no one on my side,  I think, is quite that good,  

although my mom is really good. She has a really good sense of her extended family.

Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. You know,  

back in the generation of our parents and our grandparents, there were so many more children  

born than now. So, it's just like all, so many  more people to keep track of then, too. Okay,  

so, those are two terms. First cousins, second cousins, and the once removed. Another term that I  

didn't bring up that's really common is, I didn't bring up the term ex. So, when you're married and  

then you get divorced, then that person is your ex. Your ex- husband or your ex-wife, and you can  

just shorten it to ex. I have to, my, my kid is  at my ex’s house, so I'm going to go pick him up.

David: Right.

Rachel: Um, and then also, you would, you could use the term ex to 

apply to my ex-father-in-law or my ex-mother-in-law. So,  

that's one other term I left off when I was  going over that video. As I was thinking about  

this podcast, I was thinking about my own family. And my family feels really spread out. You know,  

Marian’s in California. Eleanor’s in Atlanta.  John’s in Indiana. My parents are in Florida,  

Colorado. And, and even just my nuclear family. My parents are in Florida and Colorado. I'm in  

Pennsylvania, and my brother’s in Texas.  I mean, we have to fly hours to see each  

other. And I wonder if that's common, or  if it's just because the U.S. is so big.

David: Common in other cultures, you mean?

Rachel: Yeah. To be that far apart from your family.

David: Yeah. I wonder, too.

Rachel: I think it's less common in other cultures, in other countries. 

David: My guess is that that's probably accurate. Mm-hmm.

Rachel: I remember I was traveling somewhere.  

I can't remember where I was, but there was a Swiss couple, and we were talking about where I'm  

from in the U.S. And I forget exactly what I was saying. At the time I lived in Boston, and I used  

to go to, to New York City for voice lessons. That's about a four-and-and-half-hour drive.

I  would go once a week. And I remember talking to them and I said, oh, that's not that bad. You  

know, it's four-and-a-half hours. And they were like, whoa. If we drove four-and-a-half hours,  

we'd be like two countries away, or  something like that. Like, to them,  

a four-and-a-half-hour drive felt massive.  Whereas, in the U.S., like, that's nothing.

David: Right.

Rachel: We used to, I grew up in Florida, and we used to go to vacation in Michigan, 

and we would drive straight—that's 24 hours,  

because the speed limit used to be slower. And we would just leave and not stop until we got  

where we were going. Not safe. I would  not do that now. I need to sleep. So,  

one story that I think is funny about the,  the names we use to call people—you know,  

this is my cousin, this is my aunt, whatever. I was traveling in Kenya and Tanzania with my aunt  

and uncle. And my uncle had spent quite a bit of time there as a medical professional, and so, he,  

he knew the culture much better than I did, or much better than my aunt did. And as he would  

introduce me, he would say, this is my daughter, Rachel, because—and he said, you know, this is,  

they don’t really use niece and nephew here so much that like, you know, kind of everyone would  

just be called or considered a daughter. And he would say this, and then he would immediately  

get this weird look on his face, and I could  tell that he was so uncomfortable calling me his  

daughter. Like, he wanted to be like, she's not really my daughter, but he was doing it because,  

you know, it was a more normal way where he was to describe that kind of relationship.

David: That's such a great example of being culturally aware of what, you know, 

learning from the people around you about where you are, 

and then doing it that way versus, you know,  

needing to be sort of closed, a little bit more closed off and, I need to do it the way I do it.

Rachel: Yeah. I mean, it was funny for me, too, to be called his daughter,   

because in America, there's a real strong sense that I'm not his daughter. 

I'm his niece. Another thing that I was thinking  

of about the words we use for family members—in the video, I went over grandma and grandpa,  

which are obviously very common ways to call the parents of your parents. But then, I was  

thinking about lots of people in the U.S. have come up with alternative terms for this. Like,  

I know a lot of people will call their grandma Nana. Or, I know someone who calls her grandma  

Gigi. And Pawpaw for grandpa. So, definitely, there are lots of names that have been developed,  

and I like the idea, because you know,  each kid has two sets of grandparents. 

Mom’s parents and Dad’s parents, and if they're  both called Grandma and Grandpa, that can be  

confusing. Like with Stoney right now, he's old enough to kind of start to know what words mean,  

but young enough, I think, to still  be really confused about these both,  

these two sets of people both being called  Grandma and Grandpa. What do you think?  

David: It actually doesn't seem so weird to me,  

because that's, that's the way that I grew  up. Both of my sets of grandparents, I just,  

you know, it was Grandpa and Grandma Last Name. And so, that, that seems normal to me for him.

Rachel: Yeah, for me, too,  

but just at this age yet, where he's still so  young that I'm not sure he quite gets it. Like,  

when I say, let's call Grandma and Grandpa. I don't know. I just feel like even if I said the  

last name, he would still be confused about who I was actually going to call. I sort of wish my  

grand—my parents would have said, okay, we can be called, and then made up their own  

little names. So then, it would be really clear in Stoney’s head who was who. But I know eventually,  

as he gets a little bit older, it will become  crystal clear to him. David, what did—so,  

you're saying you called your grandparents  Grandma Last Name, Grandpa Last Name.

David: Right.

Rachel: What other names for grandma or grandpa have you heard of?

David: Uh, Grammy.

Rachel: Yeah. I was thinking of that one, too.

David: Pop.

Rachel: P-O-P.

David: Mm-hmm. Nana, you said. Nanny. Pop Pop for grandpa. 

Rachel: Mm-hmm. Gramps? I feel like I've  

called my grandpa that before, although it's also sort of a derogatory term to use for an older man.

David: It's got an edge to it.  

Rachel: So, anyway, Grandma and Grandpa can be expanded. 

A couple of idioms came up in that video,  

and I thought, you know, I bet there are a lot of interesting family idioms. Idioms involving family  

relationships. So, I did a little research  and found a couple. The idiom like father,  

like son. Or, I think it could also be like  mother, like daughter. It could also be—

David: Mm-hmm. I think it's both.

Rachel: Like father, like daughter.  

It's just relating people from two different generations.

David: Oh, that's interesting, though. No one  ever says like father, like daughter. 

Rachel: But I think it could be said, though,  and it wouldn't seem strange.

David: Yeah.  I suppose you're right, but I do think  that it's not used that way very often.

Rachel: Definitely,  the most common iteration  would be like father, like son.

David: Mm-hmm.

Rachel: What's that mean?

David: That means that someone has noticed that  

the son is, is doing  something that is exactly like the father.

Rachel: Maybe looks like exactly the father?

David: Yeah, maybe. Mm-hmm. Or a little,  

um, just a little character trait  or maybe walks the same way. That's  

one of mine with my father. We  walk exactly the same. And then,  

one of my friends was cracking up because Stoney walks exactly like both of us.

Rachel: Yeah.  

So, we, we're just like father, like son.

Rachel: Yep. So, it would be, like, an example is if someone’s father was a lawyer, 

and now he was wanting to be a lawyer.  

You could say, oh, he wants  to be a lawyer. Like father, like son.

David: There's a similar idiom that's a chip off the old block. 

Rachel: Oh, yeah. That's a great idiom. It means  the exact same thing. Some,    

a child is very similar to a parent either  in appearance or in habit or in personality.

David: Or, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Rachel: Another idiom meaning the same thing.  

Those are both great idioms, David. Thanks for thinking of those.

David: Mm-hmm.

Rachel: What about the phrase not your father’s blank? Have you heard this? 

David: No. What are you trying to say?

Rachel: Well, like, if something, if someone’s trying to say that something is new,  

has been innovated, is—

David: Oh, right.

Rachel: Is different from  

the way it's always been, they might say, yeah, this is not your father’s hmm- hmm-hmm. Let me  

come up with an example. All right. Let's  say that you're, you need a lawnmower,  

and the salesman is trying to sell you this,  like, really fancy one that's got all of these  

features. And you might be thinking, oh, my gosh. Is it worth that price tag? He might say,  

you know what, David? This is  not your father’s lawnmower.  

Right. Implying that things have  progressed so far, the innovation is—

Rachel: Gotten better.

David: So much better that it's worth it.

Rachel: Yes. So, the implication  

not your father’s hmm-hmm-hmm implies that it's gotten better. Maybe it's been innovated.

David: It's technologically advanced.

Rachel: Yeah. It's improved a lot over time. Drastically.

David: Mm-hmm. Another example might be cars. 

So, if you're, um, buying a new car and someone’s trying to talk you into it,  

someone might say, you know, again, this  is kind of like a salesman idea, but this  

is not your father’s station wagon. Like, right away, that brings up an image for me. You know,  

we had this old station wagon, and it was  pretty bare bones, and there was not a lot  

technologically advanced with it. But then,  when you and I were shopping for a car and we  

knew we weren't going to get that one car, but we let them talk us into a test ride anyway,  

and I was like, this is not your father’s  station wagon. That was like a spaceship that—

Rachel: It was an amazing ride. It was a Subaru Outback,   

which we did not buy, but we wished we could.

David: Yeah. That was not your father’s station wagon.

Rachel: That is not  your father’s station wagon. Have you heard the phrase mama’s boy?

David: Yep.

Rachel: This is a negative term. You don’t want to be called a mama’s boy, wouldn’t you say? 

Correct.

Rachel: Yeah. A mama’s boy would be a boy or a man who’s still attached to his mother 

in a way that is outside of what would be developmentally normal.

David: Mm-hmm.

Rachel: So, for example,  

a man who might still make a lot of his  decisions based on what his mother wants.

David: Yeah. I mean, this is, it's a really,  

it's a biting term. It's not—you wouldn't really use it casually. I guess you could, if you really  

knew someone well and you were wanting to poke at them a little bit. But it's got an edge to it.

Rachel: Yeah, but like,  

if you're hanging out with some people  and some dude’s mom is calling and she  

calls him up frequently, you might say,  oh, mama’s boy, your phone’s ringing.

David: Yeah.

Rachel: So, you could use it casually, too.

David: You're right. It  

can be playful, but you should  know the person pretty well.

Rachel: Yeah. The motherlode.  

What do you think of when you hear this term?

David: Well, I know, I know how to use it. I know what  

it means, but I don't know what it comes from. It means a big bunch of something. Or the, the  

ultimate discovery of a huge amount of something, though I don't know what—what is a motherlode?

Rachel: I'm not sure.  

But you think I'm using it correctly?

Rachel: Yeah, definitely. I think that's the definition. 

A large supply of something. For example, let's say that we're,  

you know, going through my parents’ attic  looking for stuff, and I in particular,  

as we go through their things, maybe I'm hoping to find old family photos. We find a couple here,  

we find a couple there. Let's say we  open a box that's full of thousands of  

family photos. I might be, I might say, oh, the motherlode. Here it is. Or, when I was younger,  

I grew up in Florida and we used to go to these streams, these creeks in our neighborhood and look  

for shark’s teeth that were left behind from, you know, millennia ago when Florida was under water.  

That probably wasn't even millennia ago. Anyway, we would look for shark’s teeth. You know,  

every once in a while, you'd find one, and it’d be lucky. And maybe one time, you found a particular  

area of the stream where you found, like, five or 10 right there. You might say, ah, the motherlode.  

Look at how many I just got. Have you ever heard the term swear on your mother’s grave?

David: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Rachel: What's it mean?

David: It means you are really, you, 

you swear that what you're about to say is absolutely true.

Rachel: Right.

David: You wouldn't  dare stand on your mother’s grave and lie.

Rachel: Right. When you swear on your mother’s grave,  

it's like, an extra step saying, this is 100% the truth.

David: Yeah.

Rachel: And of course, that person could still be lying,  

but it's just a way to try to make them feel even more guilty for lying if they're lying.

Right.

Rachel: Have you ever heard the phrase everyone and their  

mother? Or everyone and their brother? Everyone and their sister? Everyone and their cousin?

David: Right.  

That's a good one. That one gets used a lot.

Rachel: Yeah. What’s it mean?

David: Ah, it means just a, a, huge amount of people.

Rachel: A big crowd.

David: So, everyone and their mother was there.

Rachel: Right.

David: It implies  

it's just crowded. Almost  implies overcrowded and too full.

Rachel: Yeah. Actually, last week,  

David went to drop off our friend in Center City, and was driving back. And there was this huge  

concert that was just this past weekend. The Made in America concert, and Jay-Z was there, and it's,  

it was in downtown Philadelphia. And David kept texting me and saying, nope. Worst traffic. Even  

more traffic than I thought. Kept adding on time to when he would be home. And that was like,  

everyone and their mother was trying to  drive through Center City at that time.

David: Exactly.

Rachel: Traffic was so bad.

David: Yeah. It was terrible. 

And I didn't go to the concert, but I have a  feeling that everyone and their mother was there.

David: Yeah. It was a huge, huge, sprawling concert.

Rachel: I think it was probably packed.  

David, didn't you read recently in the New Yorker about a restaurant  

that you wanted to try? It was a Table for  Two, it was in the Table for Two column.

David: Yeah.

Rachel: And you immediately called  

to make a table, but everyone and their mother had already done that, and there were no reservations.

David: That's exactly right.

Rachel: That's sad.

David: We'll go sometime.

Rachel: What was the name? Do you remember?

David: I don’t remember,  

but it was a fish. The specialty was  fish, and I knew that you would like it.

Rachel: Yeah. Speaking of, we're going to New York this weekend, and don’t  have any plans yet.  

We've got to get on that.

David: Yeah, we do.

Rachel: Make some reservations.  

David: Got to get on that.

Rachel: Got to get on that. That means something we really  

need to start working on. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Have you ever heard that phrase?

David: Mm-hmm.

Rachel: That's just something that someone might  say to someone who cusses a lot. 

David: Yeah, right. And I, the image  

that comes up for me is someone older admonishing someone younger after they've overheard them using  

a cussword. Um, yeah. You, you kiss your mother with that mouth? Um, that's, that's a good rebuke.

Rachel: Yeah. Um,  

when you cuss, then someone  might say you have a dirty mouth.

David: Right.

Rachel: Yeah. And so,  

then also, comes the idea of you wouldn't  kiss your mother with a dirty mouth.

David: Right.

Rachel: What about using brother for friends, 

rather than your actual brother? Do you ever do that?

David: The word, you mean.

Rachel: Yeah.

David: Yeah, some. I say bro a lot.

Rachel: Oh, yeah. Shortening  

brother to B-R-O. David: 

Yeah. I also use that for my brothers-in-law. Brother is kind of formal. I don’t often use that.

Rachel: Yeah, but what about like, what's up, brother?

David: No, I know.  

Some people do. I'm saying, for me, just  doesn't, I haven’t ever used that very much.

Rachel: But it's definitely a thing.

David: Absolutely.

Rachel: Yeah. I think it's also a  

thing to use sister for women, female friends. She's my sister. She's always there for me.

David: Yep. You're right.

Rachel: Mm-hmm. I'm trying to think if I would ever shorten that to sis.  

I don’t think I would the way you shorten brother to bro.

David: I think you're probably right.

Rachel: But, probably some people do.

David: I say sis to a couple of my really  good friends that are women.

Rachel: You do?

David: Mm-hmm.  

Who?

David: Uh, Krista I say that to sometimes, and Yannikin.

Rachel: You do? Okay.  

What at the phrase big brother  or big brother is watching you?

David: Oh, right.

Rachel: Do-do-do.

David: Yeah.

Rachel: You don’t want that.

David: Ominous.

Rachel: Mm-hmm.

David: But, what's that mean?

Rachel: Well, I think  

it comes from George Orwell’s  novel 1984. I think that was the  

first time that the term big brother  was coined. Have you read that book?

David: I haven’t.

Rachel: Oh, really?

David: I want to.  

Okay. I think I read it twice. I think I read  it once for high school, but that's so long ago,  

I don’t remember. But then, I also read it when I was older and I was a tutor for a high schooler.  

Then, we read it together. Anyway, it's about a, a government, an overreaching government  

ruling party that is basically spying on,  invading the privacy of its citizens. So,  

the idea that big brother is watching you is the idea that the government is keeping tabs on what  

you're doing. For example, in the U.S., I don’t, I can't remember if the law did end up passing.  

I think it did. But, where a lot of the datafor  when you're surfing online or this kind of thing  

can now be sold, can now be watched and sold. Um, and so, that's sort of the idea of, oh, you know,  

does the government have the right to go through and watch where you are on the Internet? Maybe,  

maybe not. But that's the idea. If, you know, if you feel like you, the government is able to  

sort of follow your actions online, or elsewhere, then. The idea is, big brother is watching you.

David: Right.

Rachel: There was a TV show, I think it  

was on CBS, called Big Brother for a while, where it was like a group of people living in a house.

David: Reality TV, where people got kicked out.

Rachel: And they were  being video taped, where I guess, that was the idea of big brother.

David: Because that was, there was video everywhere.

Rachel: Man, for a while there, I guess still,  but reality TV just took off. 

David: It did.

Rachel: Such a huge  thing. I'm glad it's subsided a little bit, because I think it's pretty boring.

David: I agree.

Rachel: What about the phrase, I'm not my brother’s keeper? Or, am I my brother’s keeper? 

David: Or, I'm my brother’s keeper. Sometimes, it's embraced in the positive, too. This  

idea about whether or not you're responsible for someone else. You're a close friend, and should  

you or should you not be held responsible  for things that that person does or says?

Rachel: Right. Like, let's say you're out with somebody, and 

you're out with a group of friends one night, and one of your friends gets  

in a fight. And maybe he gets pretty beat  up. Someone else might say to you, David,  

why didn't you stop that? Why didn't  you stop him? And then you could say,  

I'm not my brother’s keeper. He made up his mind as what he wanted to do. It wasn't up to me.

David: Right. The implication that they are  responsible for their actions.

Rachel: Not you.

David: Right.

Rachel: Right. That comes from the bible, doesn't it? 

I think it does come from the bible.  The story of Cain and Abel. I learned that a long time ago.  

Okay, the grandfather clause. Great  term involving a family relationship word. Or,  

to be grandfathered in. Both of them mean the same thing. If there is a grandfather clause,  

then you could be grandfathered in. And  this just means that you don’t have to, um,  

follow a rule that applied to you after  you had already done something. Okay,  

this is confusing. Let's give an example.

David: So, an example is, um,  

as a therapist, the clinical license law changed, maybe, maybe eight or 10 years ago. And so,  

in order to receive a clinical license,  there was new legislation that said you  

had to get a certain amount of supervision  and submit those hours in a certain way, and,  

and was really specific. But, for people  who already had their clinical license  

before the time of that legislation, they  were grandfathered in to the new program,  

meaning that they didn't have to do anything else in order to keep their license.

Rachel: Yeah. That's a great example.

So, it's when a new restriction doesn't apply to somebody  

who has already achieved something  or is already at a certain level.

David: Mm-hmm.  

Another example, if a rate goes  up for a membership. For example,  

Rachel's English Academy. The first week, if people signed up, the rate was $10. Now, it's $14.  

So, even though the rate went up,  everyone who signed in during that  

first week is grandfathered in at that rate.  So, they will always only pay that rate. They  

got grandfathered in at the original  price. Have you ever heard, say uncle?

David: Yeah.

Rachel: Yeah. It's a little old-fashioned.

David: Yeah. Where does that come from?

Rachel: I don't know.

David: It means stop.

Rachel: Yeah. That means,  

like, if you're kind of, it's always  physical, right? If someone’s hurting you,  

if you're kind of fighting with somebody. Say uncle means, I give up. Stop what you're doing.

David: Right. I give  

up. Right, right, right, right. Mm-hmm.

Rachel: I always think of the scene in the movie The  

Christmas Story, where the bullies are beating up the kids in like an alley. Do you remember this?

David: Mm-mm.

Rachel: And the bully is like,  

say uncle. Say uncle. And the  kid’s like, uncle. Uncle. Anyway,  

great clip. I will link to that  in the show notes of this episode.

David: All right.  

I'll make sure to watch that. Uncle Sam. Who’s that uncle?

David: That would be the United States government.

Rachel: Yeah. It's funny that, that that has  

become a nickname for the government of the United States. I'm giving all my money to Uncle Sam.

David: Complaining about taxes.

Rachel: Yeah, right. So,  

I did a little research into this. It became  the nickname back in 1813, more or less. And  

the name is linked to a man named Samuel Wilson,  who was supplying food to the United States Army.

David: Okay.

Rachel: And the barrels with this food was  

stamped U.S. for United States. And the soldiers started calling, started calling it Uncle Sam.

David: Because of the abbreviation.

Rachel: Yeah, and he was providing them with food.

David: Okay.

Rachel: So, sort of, maybe that's  

where the idea of Uncle came in. So, it eventually spread and became a general nickname for the U.S.  

federal government. And there's this iconic  poster. Like, there's a, a figure, a cartoon  

drawing of Uncle Sam that has sort of been adapted as the picture of what Uncle Sam looks like.

David: Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. 

Yeah, and there's a poster, an  

iconic poster with him pointing saying, Uncle Sam wants you, as a recruiting poster for the Army.

David: Yeah.

Rachel: Yeah. I'll link  to that image in the show notes to this podcast.

David: Right.

Rachel: David, I don't know that I can think  

of any more idioms that use family relationship terms right now. Can you think of anything more?

David: I don’t think so.

Rachel: If we think  

anything more, we'll just  have to do another podcast.

David: That's right.

Rachel: Okay, guys. So,  

this podcast was a companion podcast to the family relationships vocabulary builder video  

that appeared on my YouTube channel. And again, I will link to that video in the show notes to  

this podcast. Thank you for joining me and  listening. David, thanks for being here.

David: Absolutely.

Rachel: Don’t forget,  

if you want a transcript to this podcast, just go to rachelsenglish.com/podcast and search for  

this episode. If you're not already subscribed to the podcast, please do. It's a great way to  

make sure that you hear every episode.  You can do this at iTunes or Stitcher,  

and I would love it if you would leave a review for me on one of these two platforms. I read  

all of the reviews, and I love to hear what  you think about the Rachel's English podcast.