Build Confidence in English - Episode 3 - Have Self Compassion

Okay so what does this term mean? Well, “self”  is you, or for me myself is me, yourself is you.  

And then let's talk about the word compassion is  the feeling you get when you see another person  

suffering and you want to stop that suffering. So  what is suffering? This is when someone is hurt or  

hurting right. So maybe you see a child fall and  cut their knee and you feel, “oh I want to help.  

I want to help that person. Oh poor, oh you poor  thing. I want to help you.” That is compassion.  

So, when we feel. We see another person hurt we  and we want to help them and help them to stop  

being hurt right. So how do we have compassion  for others? What do we do? What is compassion?  

Compassion could be your friend had a bad day  and you just tried to make them feel better. “Oh,  

don't worry about it. You are so smart. You're  so great. You can do it tomorrow will be better  

right? Don't worry.” So, we might talk to  people to try to make them feel better right.  

Give compliments, this is compassion. We might  do something to help them. Maybe I see that uh  

my mom, my parents are so busy. So, I oh  I have compassion right, I feel oh it's  

so difficult for you, so I might do something  like cook them dinner. This is compassion. So  

a good way to think about compassion with  language is ask yourself this question:  

what would you tell your best friend if they  were feeling bad about their language ability?  

Maybe my best friend is trying to  learn English too and she tells me,  

“oh I made so many mistakes today and I just feel  so bad.” Well what would I say to my best friend?  

What would you say to your best friend?  Well, I think most of us would say, “hey  

don't worry you're doing a good job. Learning a  language is hard. You're doing great. Maybe try to  

do this next time.” Right so, what would you tell  your best friend if they are having that struggle?  

Now tell that to yourself. So, if I tell my  friend, if I would tell my friend, “Hey you're  

doing a good job. Learning a language is hard. Try  this next time.” Well now I’m just going to tell  

that to myself. When I feel that way, hey I’m  doing a good job. It's hard to learn a language  

and I’m going to try this other thing next time  and then maybe not feel so bad about it. Right,  

compassion also means patience and forgiveness.  So “patience” means okay to wait. So, it takes a  

lot of time to learn how to speak a language.  Especially something like English, which is a  

difficult language. It has so many influences from  other languages, and it's an old language, and  

it has so many crazy rules and things that it's  supposed to be a rule, but it doesn't work. So  

be patient with yourself. It takes  time and it's okay that it takes time.  

And forgiveness means to not stay angry or  unhappy about another person's actions. So,  

it's important to forgive  yourself if you make mistakes.  

Don't feel angry or upset or bad because you're  making language mistakes. Just forgive yourself.  

Oh, it's okay. Right, have patience. It takes time  and forgiveness. It's okay that I make mistakes  

right. Just keep trying. If you can't do that  it will be very hard to learn because if you're  

always saying, “no I should have been perfect.  I did this wrong. I did that wrong.” No no,  

make sure to have self-compassion, patience,  forgiveness, and be kind to yourself too. 

So, with practicing self-compassion,  remember often when you're afraid of  

what others will think of you, you're  putting your worries into their mind.  

So, if you are afraid that you are speaking  to a native English speaker because you'll  

make mistakes, and you're worried that  they will think a bad thing about you,  

usually that means you feel bad about you. So,  you think the other person is will as well,  

but that's often not the case. This is most often  not the case. So, most people are understanding  

and forgiving and appreciate you trying and know  that it's hard to learn another language. So,  

don't put your worry into  someone else's mind. Okay,  

so remember most people will be understanding  and will not think bad things about you.