How to Answer IELTS Writing Task 1 General

129,367 views ・ 2018-11-05

Oxford Online English


μ•„λž˜ μ˜λ¬Έμžλ§‰μ„ λ”λΈ”ν΄λ¦­ν•˜μ‹œλ©΄ μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. λ²ˆμ—­λœ μžλ§‰μ€ 기계 λ²ˆμ—­λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.

00:01
Hi, I’m Justin.
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μ•ˆλ…•ν•˜μ„Έμš” μ €μŠ€ν‹΄μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:02
Welcome to Oxford Online English!
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μ˜₯μŠ€ν¬λ“œ 온라인 μ˜μ–΄μ— μ˜€μ‹  것을 ν™˜μ˜ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€!
00:05
In this lesson, you can learn how to answer task one of the IELTS general writing exam.
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이 λ ˆμŠ¨μ—μ„œλŠ” IELTS General Writing μ‹œν—˜ 쀑 Task One에 λ‹΅ν•˜λŠ” 방법을 배울 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:11
In the general IELTS writing exam, task one involves writing a letter.
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일반적인 IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ μ‹œν—˜μ—μ„œ 과제 1은 νŽΈμ§€ 쓰기와 관련이 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:17
Usually, you have to do three things in your letter.
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일반적으둜 νŽΈμ§€μ—λŠ” μ„Έ 가지λ₯Ό μž‘μ„±ν•΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
00:21
You have 20 minutes and you need to write at least 150 words.
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20λΆ„μ˜ μ‹œκ°„μ΄ 주어지며 μ΅œμ†Œ 150단어λ₯Ό μž‘μ„±ν•΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:27
In this lesson, you’ll see how to plan and write an effective general task 1 IELTS answer.
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이 μˆ˜μ—…μ—μ„œλŠ” 효과적인 일반 μž‘μ—… 1 IELTS 닡변을 κ³„νšν•˜κ³  μž‘μ„±ν•˜λŠ” 방법을 λ³Ό 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:34
You’ll learn simple strategies you can use to write a better answer and improve your
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더 λ‚˜μ€ 닡변을 μž‘μ„±ν•˜κ³ 
00:41
IELTS writing score.
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IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ 점수λ₯Ό ν–₯μƒμ‹œν‚€λŠ” 데 μ‚¬μš©ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” κ°„λ‹¨ν•œ μ „λž΅μ„ 배우게 λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:42
Let’s start by looking at a sample question:
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μƒ˜ν”Œ μ§ˆλ¬Έμ„ μ‚΄νŽ΄λ³΄λŠ” κ²ƒμœΌλ‘œ μ‹œμž‘ν•˜κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:46
Your neighbour has been making a lot of noise recently.
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κ·€ν•˜μ˜ 이웃이 μ΅œκ·Όμ— λ§Žμ€ μ†ŒμŒμ„ λ‚΄κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
00:49
This has been causing you problems, and you want to ask them to stop.
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이둜 인해 λ¬Έμ œκ°€ λ°œμƒν–ˆμœΌλ©° 쀑지λ₯Ό μš”μ²­ν•˜κ³  μ‹ΆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
00:54
Write a letter to your neighbour.
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μ΄μ›ƒμ—κ²Œ νŽΈμ§€λ₯Ό 써 λ³΄μ„Έμš”.
00:56
In your letter:
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κ·€ν•˜μ˜ νŽΈμ§€μ—μ„œ:
00:58
- ask for an explanation for the noise - explain the problems this has caused for
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- μ†ŒμŒμ— λŒ€ν•œ μ„€λͺ…을 μš”μ²­ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€. - 이둜 인해 λ°œμƒν•œ 문제λ₯Ό μ„€λͺ…ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
01:02
you - say what will happen if the problem is not
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- λ¬Έμ œκ°€
01:05
solved
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ν•΄κ²°λ˜μ§€ μ•ŠμœΌλ©΄ μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ λ˜λŠ”μ§€ μ„€λͺ…ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€. μ§ˆλ¬Έμ„
01:06
Pause the video if you want more time to look at the question.
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λ³Ό μ‹œκ°„μ΄ 더 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ©΄ λΉ„λ””μ˜€λ₯Ό μΌμ‹œ μ€‘μ§€ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€ . 글을 μ“°κΈ° 전에 생각
01:13
Let’s begin by looking at what you need to think about before you write.
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ν•΄μ•Ό ν•  사항을 μ‚΄νŽ΄λ³΄λŠ” κ²ƒμœΌλ‘œ μ‹œμž‘ν•˜κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
01:20
Planning for IELTS general task one answers is easier than for other IELTS writing tasks.
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IELTS 일반 과제λ₯Ό κ³„νšν•˜λŠ” 것은 λ‹€λ₯Έ IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ κ³Όμ œλ³΄λ‹€ μ‰½μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:27
All general task one questions have the same structure.
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λͺ¨λ“  일반적인 μž‘μ—… 1 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ€ λ™μΌν•œ ꡬ쑰λ₯Ό κ°–μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
01:32
This means that your answer can have the same structure every time.
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μ΄λŠ” 닡변이 맀번 λ™μΌν•œ ꡬ쑰λ₯Ό κ°€μ§ˆ 수 μžˆμŒμ„ μ˜λ―Έν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
01:37
The question asks you to do three things.
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μ§ˆλ¬Έμ€ μ„Έ 가지λ₯Ό μš”κ΅¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:43
Each point can go in its own paragraph.
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각 μš”μ μ€ 자체 λ‹¨λ½μœΌλ‘œ 이동할 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:45
So, your answer will have three short paragraphs, like this:
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λ”°λΌμ„œ κ·€ν•˜μ˜ 닡변은 λ‹€μŒκ³Ό 같은 μ„Έ 개의 짧은 λ‹¨λ½μœΌλ‘œ κ΅¬μ„±λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:52
Then, you need a short introduction.
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그러면 짧은 μ†Œκ°œκ°€ ν•„μš”ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
01:55
For this question, you can just write a single sentence to explain why you’re writing,
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이 μ§ˆλ¬Έμ— λŒ€ν•΄ λ‹€μŒκ³Ό 같이 글을 μ“°λŠ” 이유λ₯Ό μ„€λͺ…ν•˜λŠ” ν•œ λ¬Έμž₯만 μž‘μ„±ν•  수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:01
like this:
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02:03
I am writing to complain about the noise levels coming from your apartment in recent weeks.
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졜근 λͺ‡ μ£Ό λ™μ•ˆ κ·€ν•˜μ˜ μ•„νŒŒνŠΈμ—μ„œ λ°œμƒν•˜λŠ” μ†ŒμŒ μˆ˜μ€€μ— λŒ€ν•΄ λΆˆν‰ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•΄ 글을 μ”λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:09
The introduction might be different in other tasks.
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μ†Œκ°œλŠ” λ‹€λ₯Έ μž‘μ—…μ—μ„œ λ‹€λ₯Ό 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
02:12
For example, if you’re writing to a friend, you’d write something much simpler.
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예λ₯Ό λ“€μ–΄ μΉœκ΅¬μ—κ²Œ νŽΈμ§€λ₯Ό μ“΄λ‹€λ©΄ 훨씬 더 κ°„λ‹¨ν•˜κ²Œ μ“Έ 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. κ³„νšν•  λ•Œ
02:18
There is one more thing you need to think about when planning: tone.
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κ³ λ €ν•΄μ•Ό ν•  사항이 ν•˜λ‚˜ 더 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. λ°”λ‘œ ν†€μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:23
When we say β€˜tone’, we mean how formal or informal your letter should be.
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μš°λ¦¬κ°€ λ§ν•˜λŠ” 'μ–΄μ‘°'λŠ” νŽΈμ§€κ°€ μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ κ³΅μ‹μ μ΄κ±°λ‚˜ 비곡식적이어야 ν•˜λŠ”μ§€λ₯Ό μ˜λ―Έν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:30
Task one of the general IELTS writing exam is the only place where tone is clearly mentioned
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일반적인 IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ μ‹œν—˜ 쀑 Task 1은 채점 μ²΄κ³„μ—μ„œ 톀이 λͺ…ν™•ν•˜κ²Œ μ–ΈκΈ‰λ˜λŠ” μœ μΌν•œ κ³³μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€
02:37
in the scoring scheme.
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.
02:38
You need to write in an appropriate tone, and your tone needs to be consistent.
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μ μ ˆν•œ μ–΄μ‘°λ‘œ μž‘μ„±ν•΄μ•Ό ν•˜λ©° μ–΄μ‘°κ°€ μΌκ΄€λ˜μ–΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
02:44
What tone do you think you need here?
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여기에 μ–΄λ–€ 톀이 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•˜μ‹­λ‹ˆκΉŒ?
02:47
Should your letter be formal, neutral, or informal?
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νŽΈμ§€λŠ” 곡식적이어야 ν•©λ‹ˆκΉŒ, 쀑립적이어야 ν•©λ‹ˆκΉŒ, μ•„λ‹ˆλ©΄ 비곡식적이어야 ν•©λ‹ˆκΉŒ?
02:53
Probably, your letter will be somewhere between neutral and formal.
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μ•„λ§ˆλ„ κ·€ν•˜μ˜ νŽΈμ§€λŠ” 쀑립과 ν˜•μ‹ μ‚¬μ΄μ˜ μ–΄λ”˜κ°€μ— μžˆμ„ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
02:58
You’re writing to your neighbour, so you don’t need to be incredibly formal, but
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당신은 μ΄μ›ƒμ—κ²Œ νŽΈμ§€λ₯Ό μ“°κ³  μžˆμœΌλ―€λ‘œ 맀우 격식을 차릴 ν•„μš”λŠ” μ—†μ§€λ§Œ
03:03
you’re also writing to complain, which adds formality.
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λΆˆλ§Œμ„ μ œκΈ°ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•΄ νŽΈμ§€λ₯Ό μ“°λŠ” κ²ƒμ΄λ―€λ‘œ ν˜•μ‹μ΄ λ”ν•΄μ§‘λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:07
In our experience, one of the most common mistakes with task one answers is not getting
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우리의 κ²½ν—˜μ— λ”°λ₯΄λ©΄ μž‘μ—… 1의 λ‹΅λ³€μ—μ„œ κ°€μž₯ ν”ν•œ μ‹€μˆ˜ 쀑 ν•˜λ‚˜λŠ” μ–΄μ‘°λ₯Ό μ œλŒ€λ‘œ μž‘μ§€ λͺ»ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€
03:13
the tone right.
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.
03:15
Either candidates choose an inappropriate level of formality, or they mix different
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ν›„λ³΄μžκ°€ λΆ€μ μ ˆν•œ μˆ˜μ€€μ˜ ν˜•μ‹μ„ μ„ νƒν•˜κ±°λ‚˜
03:21
levels in the same answer.
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λ™μΌν•œ 닡변에 μ„œλ‘œ λ‹€λ₯Έ μˆ˜μ€€μ„ ν˜Όν•©ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:23
Both of these mistakes will hurt your score.
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이 두 가지 μ‹€μˆ˜λŠ” 점수λ₯Ό λ–¨μ–΄λœ¨λ¦΄ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
03:27
So, before you write anything, think about how formal your letter should be.
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λ”°λΌμ„œ 무엇이든 μ“°κΈ° 전에 νŽΈμ§€κ°€ μ–Όλ§ˆλ‚˜ 격식을 μ°¨λ €μ•Ό ν•˜λŠ”μ§€ 생각해 λ³΄μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
03:33
Now, you have a plan; let’s write our first paragraph!
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이제 κ³„νšμ΄ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. 첫 단락을 μž‘μ„±ν•΄ λ΄…μ‹œλ‹€ !
03:40
Look at the beginning of a letter:
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νŽΈμ§€μ˜ μ‹œμž‘ 뢀뢄을 λ³΄μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
03:43
Dear Emily,
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μΉœμ• ν•˜λŠ” 에밀리,
03:44
How’s it going?
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μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ μ§€λ‚΄μš”?
03:45
I’m actually writing because I have some issues with noise coming from your apartment.
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λ‚˜λŠ” λ‹Ήμ‹ μ˜ μ•„νŒŒνŠΈμ—μ„œ λ‚˜λŠ” μ†ŒμŒμ— λŒ€ν•΄ λͺ‡ 가지 λ¬Έμ œκ°€ μžˆμ–΄μ„œ μ‹€μ œλ‘œ 글을 μ“°κ³  μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ . μ†ŒμŒ μˆ˜μ€€μ—
03:52
I would like to demand an explanation for the noise levels.
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λŒ€ν•œ μ„€λͺ…을 μš”κ΅¬ν•˜κ³  μ‹ΆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
03:56
I mean, what on earth are you doing that’s so noisy?
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λ‚΄ 말은, λ„λŒ€μ²΄ 뭘 κ·Έλ ‡κ²Œ μ‹œλ„λŸ½κ²Œ ν•˜λŠ” κ±°μ•Ό? λ„ˆλ¬΄ μ‹œλ„λŸ¬μ›Œμ„œ μ˜†μ— 앉은
04:01
I can hardly have a conversation with someone sitting next to me, because it’s so loud.
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μ‚¬λžŒκ³Ό λŒ€ν™”λ₯Ό 거의 ν•  수 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
04:08
Please inform me what is occurring.
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무슨 일이 μΌμ–΄λ‚˜κ³  μžˆλŠ”μ§€ μ•Œλ €μ£Όμ‹­μ‹œμ˜€. 닡을
04:11
Pause the video if you want more time to look at the answer.
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λ³Ό μ‹œκ°„μ΄ 더 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ©΄ λΉ„λ””μ˜€λ₯Ό μΌμ‹œ μ€‘μ§€ν•˜μ„Έμš” .
04:16
Think about whether this is good, or whether it needs some work.
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이것이 쒋은지 λ˜λŠ” μ•½κ°„μ˜ μž‘μ—…μ΄ ν•„μš”ν•œμ§€ μƒκ°ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
04:21
There’s a problem with this beginning.
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이 μ‹œμž‘μ—λŠ” λ¬Έμ œκ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:23
Do you know what it is?
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그게 뭔지 μ•„μ„Έμš”?
04:27
The problem is tone.
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λ¬Έμ œλŠ” ν†€μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:29
As you heard before, it’s a common mistake to mix formal and informal language.
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이전에 λ“€μ—ˆλ“―μ΄ 곡식 언어와 비곡식 μ–Έμ–΄λ₯Ό ν˜Όν•©ν•˜λŠ” 것은 일반적인 μ‹€μˆ˜μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:34
Here, you can see very formal sentences, like:
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μ—¬κΈ°μ—μ„œ λ‹€μŒκ³Ό 같은 맀우 ν˜•μ‹μ μΈ λ¬Έμž₯을 λ³Ό 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ†ŒμŒ μˆ˜μ€€μ—
04:38
I would like to demand an explanation for the noise levels.
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λŒ€ν•œ μ„€λͺ…을 μš”κ΅¬ν•˜κ³  μ‹ΆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ . λ‹€μŒκ³Ό
04:43
You can also see more informal language, like:
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같은 보닀 비곡식적인 언어도 λ³Ό 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:46
I mean, what on earth are you doing that’s so noisy?
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λ‚΄ 말은, λ„λŒ€μ²΄ 뭘 κ·Έλ ‡κ²Œ μ‹œλ„λŸ½κ²Œ ν•˜λŠ” κ±°μ•Ό?
04:50
The start of the letter also mixes different levels of formality.
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νŽΈμ§€μ˜ μ‹œμž‘μ€ λ˜ν•œ λ‹€μ–‘ν•œ μˆ˜μ€€μ˜ ν˜•μ‹μ„ ν˜Όν•©ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
04:55
Writing how’s it going? is a more informal way to start a letter or an email, but if
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μ“°λŠ”λ° μ–΄λ•Œμš”? λŠ” νŽΈμ§€λ‚˜ 이메일을 μ‹œμž‘ν•˜λŠ” μ’€ 더 비곡식적인 λ°©λ²•μ΄μ§€λ§Œ
05:01
you’re writing to complain, you would almost certainly need to use a more neutral or formal
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λΆˆλ§Œμ„ μ œκΈ°ν•˜κΈ° μœ„ν•΄ 글을 μ“΄λ‹€λ©΄ 보닀 μ€‘λ¦½μ μ΄κ±°λ‚˜ ν˜•μ‹μ μΈ
05:08
tone.
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μ–΄μ‘°λ₯Ό μ‚¬μš©ν•΄μ•Ό ν•  κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:09
To get a high score in the general IELTS writing exam, you need to write in a consistent tone.
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일반 IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ μ‹œν—˜μ—μ„œ 높은 점수λ₯Ό λ°›μœΌλ €λ©΄ μΌκ΄€λœ μ–΄μ‘°λ‘œ 써야 ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:16
If you want to practice, think about how you could improve the answer you saw before.
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μ—°μŠ΅μ„ ν•˜κ³  μ‹Άλ‹€λ©΄ 전에 λ³Έ 닡을 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ κ°œμ„ ν•  수 μžˆμ„μ§€ 생각해 λ³΄μ„Έμš”.
05:22
You can pause the video, and start again when you’re ready.
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λΉ„λ””μ˜€λ₯Ό μΌμ‹œ μ€‘μ§€ν•˜κ³  μ€€λΉ„κ°€ 되면 λ‹€μ‹œ μ‹œμž‘ν•  수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
05:26
Let’s see how you could improve this answer: Pause the video if you need more time to read.
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이 닡변을 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ κ°œμ„ ν•  수 μžˆλŠ”μ§€ λ΄…μ‹œλ‹€: 읽을 μ‹œκ°„μ΄ 더 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ©΄ λΉ„λ””μ˜€λ₯Ό μΌμ‹œ μ€‘μ§€ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
05:33
You can see that we’ve got rid of some of the more informal language, like how’s it
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how’s it going? κ³Ό 같은 μ’€ 더 비곡식적인 μ–Έμ–΄λ₯Ό μ œκ±°ν•œ 것을 λ³Ό 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:38
going?
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05:40
This is also better because it’s consistent without being too formal.
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λ„ˆλ¬΄ 격식을 차리지 μ•Šκ³  일관적이기 λ•Œλ¬Έμ— 이것도 μ’‹μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:44
Our original answer included very formal language, like Please inform me what is occurring.
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μ›λž˜ λ‹΅λ³€μ—λŠ” 무슨 일이 μΌμ–΄λ‚˜κ³  μžˆλŠ”μ§€ μ•Œλ €μ£Όμ„Έμš”μ™€ 같은 맀우 ν˜•μ‹μ μΈ μ–Έμ–΄κ°€ ν¬ν•¨λ˜μ–΄ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
05:51
You don’t get more points for being more formal; you get a high score by writing in
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더 격식을 μ°¨λ¦°λ‹€κ³  ν•΄μ„œ 더 λ§Žμ€ 점수λ₯Ό λ°›λŠ” 것은 μ•„λ‹™λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ μ ˆν•˜κ³  μΌκ΄€λœ μ–΄μ‘° 둜 글을 μ“°λ©΄ 높은 점수λ₯Ό 받을 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
05:56
an appropriate and consistent tone.
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.
05:59
Next, let’s continue by thinking about use of language in your answer.
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λ‹€μŒμœΌλ‘œ λ‹΅λ³€μ—μ„œ μ–Έμ–΄ μ‚¬μš©μ— λŒ€ν•΄ 생각해 λ΄…μ‹œλ‹€ .
06:08
Task one of the general IELTS writing exam is the simplest of all the IELTS writing tasks.
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일반 IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ μ‹œν—˜ 쀑 νƒœμŠ€ν¬ 1은 λͺ¨λ“  IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ 과제 쀑 κ°€μž₯ λ‹¨μˆœν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:15
This is an advantage, but it also means you need to think carefully about using a wide
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이것은 μž₯점이기도 ν•˜μ§€λ§Œ κ΄‘λ²”μœ„ν•œ μ–Έμ–΄λ₯Ό μ‚¬μš©ν•˜λŠ” 것에 λŒ€ν•΄ μ‹ μ€‘ν•˜κ²Œ 생각해야 ν•œλ‹€λŠ” μ˜λ―Έμ΄κΈ°λ„ ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€
06:20
range of language.
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. λͺ¨λ²” 닡변에
06:21
Let’s look at this by adding another paragraph to our model answer:
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또 λ‹€λ₯Έ 단락을 μΆ”κ°€ν•˜μ—¬ 이λ₯Ό μ‚΄νŽ΄λ³΄κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
06:26
This situation is having a bad effect on my entire family.
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이 상황은 우리 κ°€μ‘± 전체에 λ‚˜μœ 영ν–₯을 미치고 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
06:30
I have been unable to sleep, because of the loud noises even late at night.
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λŠ¦μ€ 밀에도 μ‹œλ„λŸ¬μš΄ μ†Œλ¦¬μ— μž μ„ 잘 수 μ—†μ—ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:36
My son complains that he cannot do his homework.
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제 아듀은 μˆ™μ œλ₯Ό ν•  수 μ—†λ‹€κ³  λΆˆν‰ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:40
Even our dog has been behaving oddly; she is not eating well and has no energy.
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심지어 우리 κ°œλ„ μ΄μƒν•˜κ²Œ ν–‰λ™ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. κ·Έλ…€λŠ” 잘 먹지 μ•Šκ³  μ—λ„ˆμ§€κ°€ μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:47
This is a good paragraph, and the use of language is already good.
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이것은 쒋은 단락이며 μ–Έμ–΄ μ‚¬μš©μ€ 이미 ν›Œλ₯­ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:52
However, to get higher scores, you would need to use a wider range of language.
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κ·ΈλŸ¬λ‚˜ 더 높은 점수λ₯Ό μ–»μœΌλ €λ©΄ 더 넓은 λ²”μœ„μ˜ μ–Έμ–΄λ₯Ό μ‚¬μš©ν•΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
06:58
Let’s do two things here.
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μ—¬κΈ°μ„œ 두 가지 μž‘μ—…μ„ μˆ˜ν–‰ν•΄ λ³΄κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:01
First, look at the five underlined words and phrases.
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λ¨Όμ € 밑쀄 친 λ‹€μ„― 단어와 어ꡬλ₯Ό λ³΄μ„Έμš”.
07:05
Can you change these words and phrases to make them more detailed and more specific?
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μ΄λŸ¬ν•œ 단어와 ꡬ문을 λ³€κ²½ν•˜μ—¬ 더 μžμ„Έν•˜κ³  ꡬ체적으둜 λ§Œλ“€ 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆκΉŒ?
07:11
Think about itβ€”you’ll see some possible answers in a minute.
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μƒκ°ν•΄λ³΄μ„Έμš”. λͺ‡ 가지 κ°€λŠ₯ν•œ 닡변이 곧 ν‘œμ‹œλ  κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:15
Your second job is to take two sentences and combine them into a more complex sentence.
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두 번째 μž‘μ—…μ€ 두 λ¬Έμž₯을 μ·¨ν•˜μ—¬ 더 λ³΅μž‘ν•œ λ¬Έμž₯으둜 κ²°ν•©ν•˜λŠ” κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:21
There’s more than one way you could do this, so find an idea which makes sense to you.
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이λ₯Ό μˆ˜ν–‰ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” 방법은 μ—¬λŸ¬ κ°€μ§€μ΄λ―€λ‘œ μžμ‹ μ—κ²Œ λ§žλŠ” 아이디어λ₯Ό μ°ΎμœΌμ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
07:28
Think about your answers now.
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μ§€κΈˆ 닡을 생각해 λ³΄μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
07:30
Pause the video if you need more time.
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μ‹œκ°„μ΄ 더 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ©΄ λΉ„λ””μ˜€λ₯Ό μΌμ‹œ μ€‘μ§€ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
07:34
Ready?
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μ€€λΉ„κ°€ 된?
07:35
Let’s look: You can see that you don’t need to make
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μ‚΄νŽ΄λ³΄κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. 크게 λ³€κ²½ν•  ν•„μš”κ°€ μ—†λ‹€λŠ” 것을 μ•Œ 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
07:41
big changes.
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.
07:43
A lot of students think that you need to use a lot of very academic language to get high
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λ§Žμ€ 학생듀이 IELTSμ—μ„œ 높은 점수λ₯Ό λ°›κΈ° μœ„ν•΄μ„œλŠ” 맀우 학문적인 μ–Έμ–΄λ₯Ό 많이 μ‚¬μš©ν•΄μ•Ό ν•œλ‹€κ³  μƒκ°ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€
07:48
scores in IELTS.
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.
07:50
You don’t.
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λ‹Ήμ‹ μ€ν•˜μ§€ μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
07:52
To get high scoresβ€”even band 9β€”you need to use a range of language with flexibility
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높은 점수(λ°΄λ“œ 9)λ₯Ό μ–»μœΌλ €λ©΄ μœ μ—°ν•˜κ³  μ •ν™•ν•˜κ²Œ λ‹€μ–‘ν•œ μ–Έμ–΄λ₯Ό μ‚¬μš©ν•΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€
07:58
and precision.
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. κ²½μš°μ— 따라
08:00
That might include academic language in some cases, but for a letter, that wouldn’t be
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학문적 μ–Έμ–΄κ°€ 포함될 수 μžˆμ§€λ§Œ νŽΈμ§€μ˜ 경우 μ ν•©ν•˜μ§€ μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
08:06
appropriate.
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.
08:08
Collocations are very important for your IELTS vocabulary score.
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Collocation은 IELTS μ–΄νœ˜ μ μˆ˜μ— 맀우 μ€‘μš”ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
08:12
Using collocations like sleep properly, noise levels, lose your appetite, or focus on your
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μ μ ˆν•œ 수면, μ†ŒμŒ μˆ˜μ€€, μ‹μš• 뢀진,
08:19
homework will boost your vocabulary score.
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μˆ™μ œ 집쀑과 같은 μ—°μ–΄λ₯Ό μ‚¬μš©ν•˜λ©΄ μ–΄νœ˜ μ μˆ˜κ°€ λ†’μ•„μ§‘λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:22
For grammar, we simply connected two sentences with the conjunction while.
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λ¬Έλ²•μ˜ 경우 두 λ¬Έμž₯을 접속사 while으둜 κ°„λ‹¨ν•˜κ²Œ μ—°κ²°ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
08:28
This adds variety to the sentence structures, which will also help your score.
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μ΄λ ‡κ²Œ ν•˜λ©΄ λ¬Έμž₯ ꡬ쑰에 닀양성이 μΆ”κ°€λ˜μ–΄ μ μˆ˜μ—λ„ 도움이 λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:33
At this point, you need to write one more paragraph.
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이 μ‹œμ μ—μ„œ ν•œ 단락을 더 μž‘μ„±ν•΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
08:36
Here, you’re going to see how you can connect your ideas more effectively.
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μ—¬κΈ°μ—μ„œ 아이디어λ₯Ό 보닀 효과적으둜 μ—°κ²°ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” 방법을 확인할 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ . ν•™μƒλ“€μ˜
08:43
There’s a common problem we see with IELTS writing in our students.
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IELTS μž‘λ¬Έμ—μ„œ ν”νžˆ λ³Ό 수 μžˆλŠ” λ¬Έμ œκ°€ μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
08:48
Students often plan each paragraph separately.
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학생듀은 μ’…μ’… 각 단락을 κ°œλ³„μ μœΌλ‘œ κ³„νšν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
08:51
Then, they write each paragraph as a separate unit, and the paragraphs don’t have much
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그런 λ‹€μŒ 각 단락을 λ³„λ„μ˜ λ‹¨μœ„λ‘œ μž‘μ„± ν•˜κ³  단락은 μ„œλ‘œλ³„λ‘œ μ—°κ²°λ˜μ§€ μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
08:57
connection to each other.
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.
09:00
This will hurt your score; 25 per cent of your score is for coherence and cohesion.
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이것은 λ‹Ήμ‹ μ˜ 점수λ₯Ό λ–¨μ–΄λœ¨λ¦΄ κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€; 점수의 25%λŠ” 일관성과 응집λ ₯μž…λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:07
To get a higher score for coherence and cohesion, your writing needs to have a clear progression.
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일관성과 응집λ ₯에 λŒ€ν•΄ 더 높은 점수λ₯Ό λ°›μœΌλ €λ©΄ μž‘λ¬Έμ— λͺ…ν™•ν•œ 진행이 μžˆμ–΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:14
That means it needs to have a clear beginning, middle, and end.
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즉, λͺ…ν™•ν•œ μ‹œμž‘, 쀑간 및 끝이 μžˆμ–΄μ•Ό ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. 이 문제λ₯Ό 잘 닀루지
09:20
Let’s look at a final paragraph which doesn’t handle this well:
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λͺ»ν•˜λŠ” λ§ˆμ§€λ§‰ 단락을 μ‚΄νŽ΄λ³΄κ² μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
09:24
I must ask you to reduce the amount of noise you make, and try to keep quiet during the
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μ†ŒμŒμ„ 쀄이고 집에 μžˆλŠ” 저녁 μ‹œκ°„ μ—λŠ” 쑰용히 ν•˜λ„λ‘ λΆ€νƒλ“œλ¦½λ‹ˆλ‹€
09:28
evening when we are at home.
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.
09:31
If you continue making noise at these levels, I will have no choice but to make a noise
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이 μˆ˜μ€€μ—μ„œ 계속 μ†ŒμŒμ„ λ‚΄λ©΄
09:35
complaint to the police and/or to the city council.
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κ²½μ°°μ΄λ‚˜ μ‹œμ˜νšŒμ— μ†ŒμŒ 민원을 μ œκΈ°ν•  μˆ˜λ°–μ— μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
09:39
Regards,
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κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€.
09:40
Samira
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Samira 문단을
09:42
Pause the video if you want more time to read the paragraph.
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읽을 μ‹œκ°„μ΄ 더 ν•„μš”ν•˜λ©΄ λ™μ˜μƒμ„ μΌμ‹œ μ€‘μ§€ν•˜μ„Έμš” .
09:45
This is not bad, but it doesn’t include any links or references to the other points
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이것은 λ‚˜μ˜μ§€λŠ” μ•Šμ§€λ§Œ νŽΈμ§€μ—μ„œ μž‘μ„±ν•œ λ‹€λ₯Έ μš”μ μ— λŒ€ν•œ λ§ν¬λ‚˜ μ°Έμ‘°λ₯Ό ν¬ν•¨ν•˜μ§€ μ•ŠμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
09:50
you’ve made in the letter.
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.
09:52
It also lacks a concluding phrase, which could provide a strong, clear end to your letter.
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λ˜ν•œ νŽΈμ§€λ₯Ό κ°•λ ₯ν•˜κ³  λͺ…ν™•ν•˜κ²Œ λ§ˆλ¬΄λ¦¬ν•  수 μžˆλŠ” κ²°λ‘  문ꡬ가 μ—†μŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ .
09:58
Let’s see how you could improve this: Can you see what’s changed?
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이것을 μ–΄λ–»κ²Œ κ°œμ„ ν•  수 μžˆλŠ”μ§€ λ΄…μ‹œλ‹€: 무엇이 λ³€κ²½λ˜μ—ˆλŠ”μ§€ μ•Œ 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆκΉŒ?
10:05
Pause the video to read.
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읽으렀면 λΉ„λ””μ˜€λ₯Ό μΌμ‹œ μ€‘μ§€ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.
10:08
There are four changes.
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λ„€ 가지 λ³€κ²½ 사항이 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:10
First, we made a reference to the first paragraph, then we added a reference to the second paragraph.
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λ¨Όμ € 첫 번째 단락에 λŒ€ν•œ μ°Έμ‘°λ₯Ό λ§Œλ“  λ‹€μŒ 두 번째 단락에 λŒ€ν•œ μ°Έμ‘°λ₯Ό μΆ”κ°€ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ†ŒμŒ μˆ˜μ€€μ— λŒ€ν•΄ λ‹€μ‹œ μ΄μ•ΌκΈ°ν•˜λŠ” λŒ€μ‹  '이 상황'에 λŒ€ν•œ
10:21
We also avoided repetition by adding a reference to β€˜this situation’, instead of talking
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μ°Έμ‘°λ₯Ό μΆ”κ°€ν•˜μ—¬ λ°˜λ³΅μ„ ν”Όν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
10:28
about noise levels again.
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.
10:31
Finally, we added a concluding phrase.
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λ§ˆμ§€λ§‰μœΌλ‘œ κ²°λ‘  문ꡬλ₯Ό μΆ”κ°€ν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€.
10:36
And you’ve finished!
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μ™„λ£Œν–ˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€!
10:38
Practice these steps and ideas and you should be able to get a high score in task one of
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μ΄λŸ¬ν•œ 단계와 아이디어λ₯Ό μ—°μŠ΅ν•˜λ©΄ 일반 IELTS μ‹œν—˜ 쀑 ν•˜λ‚˜μ˜ μž‘μ—…μ—μ„œ 높은 점수λ₯Ό 받을 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€
10:43
the general IELTS exam.
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.
10:44
Here’s a question for you: what do you find most difficult in task one of the general
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μ—¬κΈ° 당신을 μœ„ν•œ 질문이 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€: 일반 IELTS μž‘λ¬Έ μ‹œν—˜ 쀑 νƒœμŠ€ν¬ 1μ—μ„œ κ°€μž₯ μ–΄λ €μš΄ 점은 λ¬΄μ—‡μž…λ‹ˆκΉŒ
10:51
IELTS writing exam?
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?
10:52
Please let us know in the comments.
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λŒ“κΈ€λ‘œ μ•Œλ €μ£Όμ„Έμš”. 저희 μ›Ήμ‚¬μ΄νŠΈμ—μ„œ
10:55
You can see the full text of the model answer on our website: Oxford Online English dot
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λͺ¨λΈ λ‹΅λ³€μ˜ 전문을 보싀 수 μžˆμŠ΅λ‹ˆλ‹€ : Oxford Online English dot
11:02
com.
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com. YouTubeμ—μ„œ μ‹œμ²­ν•˜λŠ”
11:03
Look for a link in the video description if you’re watching on YouTube.
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경우 λ™μ˜μƒ μ„€λͺ…μ—μ„œ 링크λ₯Ό μ°ΎμœΌμ„Έμš” .
11:07
Thanks for watching!
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μ‹œμ²­ ν•΄μ£Όμ…”μ„œ κ°μ‚¬ν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€!
11:08
See you next time!
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λ‹€μŒμ— λ§Œλ‚˜μš”!
이 μ›Ήμ‚¬μ΄νŠΈ 정보

이 μ‚¬μ΄νŠΈλŠ” μ˜μ–΄ ν•™μŠ΅μ— μœ μš©ν•œ YouTube λ™μ˜μƒμ„ μ†Œκ°œν•©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ „ 세계 졜고의 μ„ μƒλ‹˜λ“€μ΄ κ°€λ₯΄μΉ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μˆ˜μ—…μ„ 보게 될 κ²ƒμž…λ‹ˆλ‹€. 각 λ™μ˜μƒ νŽ˜μ΄μ§€μ— ν‘œμ‹œλ˜λŠ” μ˜μ–΄ μžλ§‰μ„ 더블 ν΄λ¦­ν•˜λ©΄ κ·Έκ³³μ—μ„œ λ™μ˜μƒμ΄ μž¬μƒλ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. λΉ„λ””μ˜€ μž¬μƒμ— 맞좰 μžλ§‰μ΄ μŠ€ν¬λ‘€λ©λ‹ˆλ‹€. μ˜κ²¬μ΄λ‚˜ μš”μ²­μ΄ μžˆλŠ” 경우 이 문의 양식을 μ‚¬μš©ν•˜μ—¬ λ¬Έμ˜ν•˜μ‹­μ‹œμ˜€.

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