Conversational English - How to make polite requests

428,405 views ・ 2012-11-30

Learn English with Rebecca


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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Hi. We all want people to be polite to us, yet sometimes we forget how to behave politely
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towards others. My name is Rebecca, and in today's lesson, I'm going to show you how
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to be polite to others and how to make requests politely so that people are more likely to
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do what you ask them to do. Okay? Let's look at the board. I've written a number of expressions
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that you can use for these purposes. Okay, so here are some of the many expressions that
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you can use. The first, of course, is with the word "please". By itself, you could say,
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"Please do something." All right? Next expression, "Could you please?" This is actually my favorite
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because you could use this in any context, and it always works. "Could you please?" And
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we're going to see exactly what you could add after that. You could also say, "Would
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you?" And you could also say, "Can you?" But in my opinion, "Can you?" is not as polite
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as "Could you?" All right? "Can you?" is very casual, and "Could you?" you could use in
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a business situation or in a formal situation. Okay?
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Now, one last one is the expression, "Would you mind?" Now, "Would you mind?" is special
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because when you ask somebody, "Would you mind opening the window?" The question is
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really there, "Do you have any problem with opening the window?" Or, "Do you have any
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objection to opening the window?" Right? So if you don't have any objection, then what
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you should say is, "No." So, "Would you mind opening the window?" "No, no problem. I'll
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open the window." So in fact, here, when you say, "No," you're saying, "Yes." To all the
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other ones, "Could you please open the window?" "Yes, I'll open the window." So to all of
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these, you can just say, "Yes" as the answer, and to this one, the positive answer is, "No."
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All right? If it confuses you, just forget about it. All right? There are many good expressions
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that you can use, but you should also understand when other people are speaking to you what
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you should say.
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So let's try with this one, and let's see what happens when we look at different contexts
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when people don't use a little something to make a polite request. Let's say you're at
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the bank, and someone says to you, "Fill in this form." "Oh, how's that going to make
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you feel? Not very nice." So it would be much nicer if they said, "Could you please fill
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out this form?" or, "Would you fill in this form?" Right? If you're in a restaurant, and
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you say to the waiter, "Bring us some water." Okay? Of course, the waiter will bring you
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the water, but it's not a very nice way to treat other human beings. So it's much nicer
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to say, "Would you bring us some water, please?" "Could you please bring us some water?" or,
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"Please bring us some water." Okay?
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Next one. Let's suppose you work in a call center, and you have to ask people for information.
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Now, of course, you want to use all the diplomacy you can, and you want to be as polite as you
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can, because sometimes your job is hard enough. So you don't want to say something like, "Give
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me your name." "Give me your address." "Give me your phone number." No. Much nicer to say,
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"Could you please give me your phone number?" "Would you give me your phone number, please?"
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etc. Okay?
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Next, in an office situation, if you say to someone, "Send them an email." Okay? Of course,
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it sounds like you're angry, and you don't want to sound angry around people you work
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with all the time, so much nicer to say, "Could you please send them an email?" "Would you
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send them an email, please?" All right? Or, "Would you mind sending them an email?" Another
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thing that happens when we use "would you mind" is that this verb has to change. "Would
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you mind filling in this form?" "Would you mind bringing us some water?" "Would you mind
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giving me your name?" "Would you mind sending them an email?" Okay? So remember that little
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change if you're using the last one, but only for the last one.
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Next one, if you're in a hotel, and you're asking them to send you some... You need some
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more towels in your room. So it wouldn't be very nice to say, "Send me some towels." It
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would be much nicer to say, "Could you please have someone send us some towels?" Or, "Could
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you please send me some towels?" Okay? Or, "Could you please send some towels to my room?"
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Any of those, as long as you're saying "could you please", it's going to be much nicer and
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you're going to get the desired effect. Okay?
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Next, on the phone. Instead of saying to someone, "Speak a little louder." Say, "Could you please
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speak a little louder? I'm afraid I can't hear you." Okay? These little words and expressions
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that we add on make life a lot kinder.
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Okay, next, at home. Also, it's really important to be kind to the people that we live with
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and that we say we love, so we don't want to give them orders all the time. We don't
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want to say, "Pass the salt." "Turn off the TV." "Close the door." We should say, "Could
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you please turn off the TV?" Or, I should say to the motorcyclist going by on this nice
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summer's day, "Could you please pass as quickly as possible?" All right?
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So, at home, "Could you please turn off the TV?" "Could you please close the door?" "Could
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you please pass the potatoes?" All right? Lots of ways to be polite at home, too.
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And let's say you're in public and you need to tell someone something. Also, use one of
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these expressions. "Would you switch off your cell phone, please?" "Could you switch off
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your cell phone, please?" Okay? So, remember next time when you're making a request, do
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so politely. The world on a personal level, your world will be probably a kinder place.
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And on a global level, we'll make our existence here on the planet a much better, more pleasant
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experience. Okay?
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So if you'd like to do a quiz on this subject, please go to our website, www.engvid.com.
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Good luck with your English.
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