Polite English - Softening Your Message

Hi, my name is Rebecca and in today's video we're going to talk about how to communicate

more effectively in English.

Specifically, we're going to talk about how to warn your listener when you're about to

give them some bad news after they have asked you something or said something to you.

Now this situation may arise in a personal situation or in a professional context.

So we're going to give you some examples in both cases, alright?

Let's look at the first one.

Let's say somebody asks you, "Do you like this dress on me?"

And actually you don't, right?

So we use certain key words before we start expressing our opinion to kind of warn the

listener that we're about to say something that they might not like to hear very much.

And we use these words just to soften the tone of our message because our message is

communicated not only with the words we use and also with the tone that we express.

So if somebody asks you, "Do you like this dress on me?"

You could say, "Actually, I like the other one better." or you could say, "Well, I think

the other one makes you look taller." or "To be honest, I love that other one on you."

Now in each of these cases, I didn't say even once that I don't like that on you.

But I communicated the same idea by expressing it in a different way and by warning the listener

that I was going to give an opinion which perhaps is not the most positive one that

they were hoping to hear, okay?

Let's look at how this might occur in a professional context.

Let's suppose you're asked, "What do you think of my proposal?"

And you really don't like the proposal.

You don't agree with it.

So you could say, again, "With respect, I think this proposal would not be effective

in helping us achieve our goals."

Okay?

You see how it's being used in a professional context?

The language is a little bit more formal.

So some of these will work more effectively in the professional context.

You could say, "Actually" or "Well" or "To be honest, also."

These are just a little more formal, okay?

You could also say, "Do you think this proposal is very effective?"

"Well, as a matter of fact, I think it will not achieve our objectives."

Or you could say, "Frankly, I don't think this proposal would help us to achieve our

objectives."

Okay?

So, by using a few words like this in the beginning of your sentence, you're warning

your listener and preparing them to hear something which they may not be very comfortable hearing.

And that's our way of being kind, okay?

I hope this lesson has helped you, and I wish you all the best in communicating your messages

to whatever audience you have, in a personal or in a professional context.

If you'd like to do a little quiz on this, please visit our website, www.engvid.com.

Okay?

Thanks very much.

Bye for now.

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