How to ask for permission in English? | Study English advanced level

42,516 views ・ 2022-02-23

Learn English with Harry


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Hi there, teacher Harry here. Welcome  back to my English lessons where we try  
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to help you to get a better understanding  of the English language. Whatever you need,  
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we're here to help you. Whether it's business  English, whether it's conversational English,  
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job interview techniques. Whether it's  chit-chat, small talk, grammar, pronunciation,  
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whatever it is, you'll find us here to help  you. So what are the lesson about today?
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Well, in this particular lesson,  we're going to look at asking for,  
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giving and or ref... refusing permission. Okay, so  asking for, giving and refusing permission. Okay.
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Now, usually, when we're talking about asking for  something, we tend to recommend that people do it  
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in a polite way. Okay. And particularly in British  English. Usually, requests like this are polite or  
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formal requests. So let me give you a few  examples of what a polite formal request will be.
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Do you mind if I switch on  or switch off the light?
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Do you mind if I take that last piece of cake?
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Would you mind if I invited a friend  around this evening for dinner?
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May I call you later if you're not busy?
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Could I possibly borrow your pen? Or  could I possibly borrow your phone?
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Or could I possibly ask you to help me?
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Is it possible to move our meeting to  another day, I'm a little bit busy today?  
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Is it possible for me to use  your name as a reference,  
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I'm looking for a new job and I need to give or  provide a few references? Is it possible for me?
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So all of these really polite,  
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nice ways when you're making a  formal request? Okay. And of course,  
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when we get or we make a request, we will get  some form of a reply. So we would like to look at  
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polite formal replies, these are the responses to  requests. So you might hear something like that.
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No, not at all. If it suits you.  Okay. Yes, you may. Of course,  
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give my name, I'd be very  happy to act as a reference.  
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Yes, of course, invite whichever friend you  would like. They're always welcome here.  
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Of course, be my guest borrow my phone whenever  you wish. Yes, it's my pleasure to help you  
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if I can, I would certainly be willing to  help. Or certainly be my guest. All really,  
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really nice, polite, more formal replies  when somebody asks a particular question.
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Now, if you're using this one, in  particular, the one I mentioned first,  
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no, not at all. Be really careful with  with that because when we use the word no,  
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somebody automatically thinks it's a negative.  But in English when we use it in that way, no,  
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not at all, it means No, I don't mind. Yeah. So  for example, if I said to you, would you mind  
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if I borrowed your car? Or would you mind if I  used your telephone? The response might be No,  
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not at all. Meaning, No, I don't mind if you  borrow my car. No, I don't mind if you borrow  
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my phone. No, I don't mind if you use my name as a  reference. So it's actually a positive even though  
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we're using the word No. So be really,  really careful with that because it might  
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sound a little strange, but in British  English, it's the right way to reply.
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Okay, now, let's look at examples of asking and  giving permission. Okay, so we can use something  
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like Do you mind if? Do you mind if I take off  my coat? Do you mind if I pour myself a glass  
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of water? Do you mind if I leave my coat on your  chair? Do you mind if I sit down? So there are all  
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ways of asking for permission. And then somebody  will say then, Yeah, no, not at all. Please take  
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your coat off. Make yourself comfortable. No,  not at all. Please sit down. Make yourself  
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feel as if you're at home, okay? Or no, not at  all. Help yourself to water or tea or coffee.  
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There's something there for you if you wish to  use it. So the request very polite, the response  
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equally polite. As I said, be very careful when  we use that word no, in the response because the  
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person is not being negative. They're not saying  no, you can't have any water when they say no,  
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not at all. That's what it's there for, the  water is there for you. I have some tea and  
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coffee so if you'd like tea or coffee, please  help yourself feel free. Make yourself feel  
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At home, okay. So as if you were in  your own home, so it's not a refusal  
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but it's been used in the way to respond politely  to somebody who makes a polite request to you.
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So for example, could I possibly close the  window, It's a little chilly in here? Or  
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could I possibly close the window, it's a little  bit noisy outside? And the answer might be, Oh,  
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yes, of course, close the window. And, or,  you know, if you want to turn on the heating,  
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feel free, turn the heating on, or turn the  heating up, just to warm the room. Okay.
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Now, if somebody wants to refuse your request,  which can happen, so you ask for something,  
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and somebody wants to refuse but they don't want  to be rude, they will refuse in a more polite way.  
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So usually, you would hear the words like,
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Oh, look, I'm sorry, that won't be  possible today. So somebody said, Can I  
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push that meeting back by a couple of days,  perhaps Wednesday? I'm sorry, that won't be  
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possible. And on the day off on Wednesday, or I'm  fully booked on Wednesday. How about Thursday?
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Or do you mind if I take your parking space  tomorrow for the next few days? I have to drop  
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the kids to school. So I'm going to have to bring  the car. I'm afraid that is out of the question.  
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We don't have any free parking spaces available.  In fact, quite a few staff have asked for them.  
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So I've given them the same answer. It's just at  the moment out of the question. I'm really sorry.
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Do you mind if I smoke? I would rather that you  didn't. So here it's a very polite but firm way  
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of telling somebody Well, actually, I prefer if  you didn't smoke in my room, there's a room at  
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the end of the hall or smoking in this building  is not permitted. So I rather that you didn't.
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Is it possible to leave early today? I've got an  appointment with the dentist at four o'clock. And  
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it takes me a bit of time to get there. Well, I'm  afraid not. Not today, we've got a really tight  
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deadline. So is it possible for you to change the  date of your dental appointment? Okay, so there  
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are refusals of somebody requesting something  but they're more polite than just saying 'no.'
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Okay, so lots of time if somebody asked you  something. No, can I have some more cake?  
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No. Can I go out and play with my friends?  No. Can I stay at home from school today?  
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Not. So that's quite definite, and a  definitive way for somebody to say,  
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you're not doing that yet. But when we're talking  particularly from a business perspective, or where  
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we don't want to appear to be too rude, then  we will use other words, not just a simple No.
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So words like, Oh, I'm sorry, that will not  be possible. I'm afraid that that's out of  
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the question. I'd rather that you didn't,  I'm afraid not. So nicer, more polite ways  
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to say no. You mean the same. You mean, It's not  possible, but you're saying it in a different way.  
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Okay, so we look at informal request and reply.
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So what we've looked at, up to now  have been more formal requests, and  
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those replies, so we look at  something a little bit more informal.
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Can I have the last piece of cake? Now somebody  might say, you should say 'may' I have the last  
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piece of cake because that's, it sounds much more  polite. There's not a huge amount of difference  
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between can and may but 'may' always sounds a  little bit more polite. But what is much more  
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common is can. Can I have the last piece of cake,  mum? Have you 10 Euro you could lend me? You know,  
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it's not, Would you mind lending me 10 Euro?  That's much more formal and much more polite.  
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Have you 10 Euro you could lend me? It's not  impolite, it's just a little bit more informal.  
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And then the answer could be yes,  sure. No problem, here is 10 Euro.
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So some is agreeing to your request. Yeah, go  ahead. Have the last piece of cake. So you know,  
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knock yourself out. Somebody might say yeah, so go  ahead. Again, somebody's agreeing to your request.  
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Do you mind if I come in late tomorrow morning?  Not a problem. Yeah, half an hour, an hour,  
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whatever. Just you know, work over your lunch hour  or work a bit later tomorrow evening. No problem.
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Can I go and play with my friends? Not a  chance. You've got all that homework to  
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do. You're not going out until they  finish the homework. Not a chance.
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Can you give me some more pocket money? Not a  chance. You ask that every week, yeah. So not a  
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chance. So again, informal and a refusal, okay?  Or if you you want to be a little bit rude and  
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the... if you're a little bit annoyed with the  person making the request, then you you might say  
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something like, Look, go away, no. Or Go away and  don't annoy me. So that could come across as very  
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short, very sharp, and in some cases a little bit  rude. So let me give them to you one more time.
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Can I have the last piece of cake?  Have your 10 Euro you could lend me  
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and then granting the permission in an  informal way. Yeah, sure. Or go ahead. Why not?  
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Not a problem? Or negative. Not a chance. Go  away, no. Okay. So some less rude than others,  
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some more polite for all informal. Okay, so  hopefully that's given you some indication as  
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to how we can ask or request or grant permissions  both in a formal and an informal way. And also how  
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what gives you is the refusals that you might get  because it's not always the case that every time  
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you ask for something, that... it's automatically  granted. So we've got the permission granted,  
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or permission refused. As I said, if you  want to contact me, then you can do so on  
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www.englishlessonviaskype.com. Always happy to  hear from you. And if you have any comments at  
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all, you want something included in future  lessons, well, drop me a line and we'll see  
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what we can do. As always, I hope you can continue  to subscribe to my channel, listen to my podcasts.  
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And if you check out my web page, you'll see lots  of wonderful, wonderful courses that will help you  
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with your English. Okay, well, thanks  for listening. Join me again soon.
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