How to ask for permission in English? | Study English advanced level

Hi there, teacher Harry here. Welcome  back to my English lessons where we try  

to help you to get a better understanding  of the English language. Whatever you need,  

we're here to help you. Whether it's business  English, whether it's conversational English,  

job interview techniques. Whether it's  chit-chat, small talk, grammar, pronunciation,  

whatever it is, you'll find us here to help  you. So what are the lesson about today?

Well, in this particular lesson,  we're going to look at asking for,  

giving and or ref... refusing permission. Okay, so  asking for, giving and refusing permission. Okay.

Now, usually, when we're talking about asking for  something, we tend to recommend that people do it  

in a polite way. Okay. And particularly in British  English. Usually, requests like this are polite or  

formal requests. So let me give you a few  examples of what a polite formal request will be.

Do you mind if I switch on  or switch off the light?

Do you mind if I take that last piece of cake?

Would you mind if I invited a friend  around this evening for dinner?

May I call you later if you're not busy?

Could I possibly borrow your pen? Or  could I possibly borrow your phone?

Or could I possibly ask you to help me?

Is it possible to move our meeting to  another day, I'm a little bit busy today?  

Is it possible for me to use  your name as a reference,  

I'm looking for a new job and I need to give or  provide a few references? Is it possible for me?

So all of these really polite,  

nice ways when you're making a  formal request? Okay. And of course,  

when we get or we make a request, we will get  some form of a reply. So we would like to look at  

polite formal replies, these are the responses to  requests. So you might hear something like that.

No, not at all. If it suits you.  Okay. Yes, you may. Of course,  

give my name, I'd be very  happy to act as a reference.  

Yes, of course, invite whichever friend you  would like. They're always welcome here.  

Of course, be my guest borrow my phone whenever  you wish. Yes, it's my pleasure to help you  

if I can, I would certainly be willing to  help. Or certainly be my guest. All really,  

really nice, polite, more formal replies  when somebody asks a particular question.

Now, if you're using this one, in  particular, the one I mentioned first,  

no, not at all. Be really careful with  with that because when we use the word no,  

somebody automatically thinks it's a negative.  But in English when we use it in that way, no,  

not at all, it means No, I don't mind. Yeah. So  for example, if I said to you, would you mind  

if I borrowed your car? Or would you mind if I  used your telephone? The response might be No,  

not at all. Meaning, No, I don't mind if you  borrow my car. No, I don't mind if you borrow  

my phone. No, I don't mind if you use my name as a  reference. So it's actually a positive even though  

we're using the word No. So be really,  really careful with that because it might  

sound a little strange, but in British  English, it's the right way to reply.

Okay, now, let's look at examples of asking and  giving permission. Okay, so we can use something  

like Do you mind if? Do you mind if I take off  my coat? Do you mind if I pour myself a glass  

of water? Do you mind if I leave my coat on your  chair? Do you mind if I sit down? So there are all  

ways of asking for permission. And then somebody  will say then, Yeah, no, not at all. Please take  

your coat off. Make yourself comfortable. No,  not at all. Please sit down. Make yourself  

feel as if you're at home, okay? Or no, not at  all. Help yourself to water or tea or coffee.  

There's something there for you if you wish to  use it. So the request very polite, the response  

equally polite. As I said, be very careful when  we use that word no, in the response because the  

person is not being negative. They're not saying  no, you can't have any water when they say no,  

not at all. That's what it's there for, the  water is there for you. I have some tea and  

coffee so if you'd like tea or coffee, please  help yourself feel free. Make yourself feel  

At home, okay. So as if you were in  your own home, so it's not a refusal  

but it's been used in the way to respond politely  to somebody who makes a polite request to you.

So for example, could I possibly close the  window, It's a little chilly in here? Or  

could I possibly close the window, it's a little  bit noisy outside? And the answer might be, Oh,  

yes, of course, close the window. And, or,  you know, if you want to turn on the heating,  

feel free, turn the heating on, or turn the  heating up, just to warm the room. Okay.

Now, if somebody wants to refuse your request,  which can happen, so you ask for something,  

and somebody wants to refuse but they don't want  to be rude, they will refuse in a more polite way.  

So usually, you would hear the words like,

Oh, look, I'm sorry, that won't be  possible today. So somebody said, Can I  

push that meeting back by a couple of days,  perhaps Wednesday? I'm sorry, that won't be  

possible. And on the day off on Wednesday, or I'm  fully booked on Wednesday. How about Thursday?

Or do you mind if I take your parking space  tomorrow for the next few days? I have to drop  

the kids to school. So I'm going to have to bring  the car. I'm afraid that is out of the question.  

We don't have any free parking spaces available.  In fact, quite a few staff have asked for them.  

So I've given them the same answer. It's just at  the moment out of the question. I'm really sorry.

Do you mind if I smoke? I would rather that you  didn't. So here it's a very polite but firm way  

of telling somebody Well, actually, I prefer if  you didn't smoke in my room, there's a room at  

the end of the hall or smoking in this building  is not permitted. So I rather that you didn't.

Is it possible to leave early today? I've got an  appointment with the dentist at four o'clock. And  

it takes me a bit of time to get there. Well, I'm  afraid not. Not today, we've got a really tight  

deadline. So is it possible for you to change the  date of your dental appointment? Okay, so there  

are refusals of somebody requesting something  but they're more polite than just saying 'no.'

Okay, so lots of time if somebody asked you  something. No, can I have some more cake?  

No. Can I go out and play with my friends?  No. Can I stay at home from school today?  

Not. So that's quite definite, and a  definitive way for somebody to say,  

you're not doing that yet. But when we're talking  particularly from a business perspective, or where  

we don't want to appear to be too rude, then  we will use other words, not just a simple No.

So words like, Oh, I'm sorry, that will not  be possible. I'm afraid that that's out of  

the question. I'd rather that you didn't,  I'm afraid not. So nicer, more polite ways  

to say no. You mean the same. You mean, It's not  possible, but you're saying it in a different way.  

Okay, so we look at informal request and reply.

So what we've looked at, up to now  have been more formal requests, and  

those replies, so we look at  something a little bit more informal.

Can I have the last piece of cake? Now somebody  might say, you should say 'may' I have the last  

piece of cake because that's, it sounds much more  polite. There's not a huge amount of difference  

between can and may but 'may' always sounds a  little bit more polite. But what is much more  

common is can. Can I have the last piece of cake,  mum? Have you 10 Euro you could lend me? You know,  

it's not, Would you mind lending me 10 Euro?  That's much more formal and much more polite.  

Have you 10 Euro you could lend me? It's not  impolite, it's just a little bit more informal.  

And then the answer could be yes,  sure. No problem, here is 10 Euro.

So some is agreeing to your request. Yeah, go  ahead. Have the last piece of cake. So you know,  

knock yourself out. Somebody might say yeah, so go  ahead. Again, somebody's agreeing to your request.  

Do you mind if I come in late tomorrow morning?  Not a problem. Yeah, half an hour, an hour,  

whatever. Just you know, work over your lunch hour  or work a bit later tomorrow evening. No problem.

Can I go and play with my friends? Not a  chance. You've got all that homework to  

do. You're not going out until they  finish the homework. Not a chance.

Can you give me some more pocket money? Not a  chance. You ask that every week, yeah. So not a  

chance. So again, informal and a refusal, okay?  Or if you you want to be a little bit rude and  

the... if you're a little bit annoyed with the  person making the request, then you you might say  

something like, Look, go away, no. Or Go away and  don't annoy me. So that could come across as very  

short, very sharp, and in some cases a little bit  rude. So let me give them to you one more time.

Can I have the last piece of cake?  Have your 10 Euro you could lend me  

and then granting the permission in an  informal way. Yeah, sure. Or go ahead. Why not?  

Not a problem? Or negative. Not a chance. Go  away, no. Okay. So some less rude than others,  

some more polite for all informal. Okay, so  hopefully that's given you some indication as  

to how we can ask or request or grant permissions  both in a formal and an informal way. And also how  

what gives you is the refusals that you might get  because it's not always the case that every time  

you ask for something, that... it's automatically  granted. So we've got the permission granted,  

or permission refused. As I said, if you  want to contact me, then you can do so on  

www.englishlessonviaskype.com. Always happy to  hear from you. And if you have any comments at  

all, you want something included in future  lessons, well, drop me a line and we'll see  

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And if you check out my web page, you'll see lots  of wonderful, wonderful courses that will help you  

with your English. Okay, well, thanks  for listening. Join me again soon.