DON'T SAY 'no'! | Learn MUCH better and MORE polite ways

Hi there, this is Harry and welcome back to  advanced English lessons with Harry, where I try  

to help you to get a better understanding of the  English language. We help you to understand the  

use of adjectives, verbs, adverbs, everything that  you could possibly want. And indeed, if you have  

any particular requests, and I'm going to give you  my address at the end of this particular lesson,  

and you can write to me if you have anything  that you wish to request, or you wish to ask.

So as I said, this is an advanced English  lesson. And in this particular lesson,  

we're looking at different ways to say no.  Well, of course, no is a very short word. No,  

no means no. But sometimes, depending on the  intonation in your voice and how you stress it,  

it can appear and come across a little bit  rude. You may not intended that way. But  

that's how it sounds. Can I have this? No,  can I go here? No. Would you help me know?  

Do you know where the bank is? No. So it's very  repetitive. And it also sounds a little bit rude.

So what I'm going to give you are alternative  ways, different ways in which you can say no.  

And I broken those down into some  more formal ways to say no. Okay,  

ways in which you can be a little bit more  polite so you can avoid just saying no.  

Firm or strong ways in which you can say no, when  you really want to underline the fact that you  

do mean no. And then finally, some informal  ways to say no. So four different sections.

So first section are formal ways to say no.  

I'm afraid not. Will you be joining us  for lunch today, sir? I'm afraid not.  

I have something else to do, or I have another  arrangement or prior appointment. I'm afraid not.

I'm sorry, but the answer is no. So instead  of saying no, somebody asks you for something  

from a business context. I'm sorry, but the  answer is no. I'm afraid I am unable to help  

you. Or I'm unable to attend the meeting, or  I'm unable to contribute to your collection.  

I'm afraid not was the first one. And  second, I'm sorry, but the answer is no.

Now something really, really formal and it's, you  know, you have to be really scratch your head when  

you might use this. I'm sorry, but that request  cannot be fulfilled. Whoa, what is that mean?  

When something cannot be fulfilled, we cannot  do it. Yes. So your request for, for example,  

a particular room in a hotel or a particular  table at a restaurant, then the answer coming  

back might not simply be a no, you can't have that  room. Or no, that room isn't available. Or no,  

you can't have that table. I'm sorry, your  request cannot be fulfilled. Sounds like  

it's prepared by some bots, I think yes.  I'm sorry, but that cannot be fulfilled.

Now, another former way to say no, not to my  knowledge. Okay. So you definitely say no,  

but not to my knowledge. So you come into the  office, you're 10 minutes before the start time,  

just as you're hanging up your  coat or about to grab your first  

coffee. The boss comes through and says, Have you  seen David? Is he in? Well, not to my knowledge,  

but I've only just arrived myself. So not to my  knowledge means, Well, he could be, but I haven't  

seen him. So he he might he might not be Have  you tried his office? So not to my knowledge.  

Have those customers confirm that order yet?  Not to my knowledge, but I'll get on to the  

people in the marketing department and see, have  they heard anything. Yeah, not to my knowledge.

Another way is when we want to be a little  bit apologetic about our answer. No. Sadly,  

I'm unable to do that because I'm not going to  be in the city that weekend. Sadly, I'm unable to  

attend because I've got a prior engagement. Sadly,  I'm unable to help you because I really don't have  

any expertise in that particular area. So a nice  formal way to say no, without actually saying no.

And then slightly in between formal  and informal. I'd love to do it,  

but I really don't have the time. I'd love to  do it, but I don't think I'm the person that can  

best represent you. So again, different ways in  which you can say no, without actually saying no.

So I run through those once again,  these are the formal ways to say No,  

I'm afraid not. I'm sorry, but the answer is no.  

I'm sorry, but that request cannot be fulfilled  at the moment. Not to my knowledge. Sadly,  

I'm on I'm able to help you or sadly, I'm unable  to attend. Or sadly, I'm unable to contribute.  

I'd love to do it, but I don't think I'm the right  person. I'd love to do it, but I'm just simply  

not going to be around for the next two to three  weeks. So all former ways in which you can say no.

And if you do like this particular lesson,  then please please like the video and if you  

can subscribe to the channel, because it  really it does. It really, really helps.

Now, in the second group, we want to look  at ways in which you can politely say no.  

Now, first one, not really. Not really is again,  you're saying no, but it's a little bit soft.  

Yeah. Are you going to join us for that game  of bowling? Are you? Are you on for a game of  

bowling at the weekend? Not really. It's not my  cup of tea. Not really, because it's the weekend,  

I like to spend time with the family. Okay,  so not really a nice polite way to say no.  

Are you going to join that gym?  Not really, you know, me and gyms,  

we don't get along so well. Couple of  visits, and then I get bored. Not really.

And then the next one, either possibly,  or probably not possibly, or probably not.  

Are you going to attend that lecture  next week? I hear it's going to be  

very good. Possibly not or probably  not. I think I'd be busy. And I'll  

see if I have nothing else to do, then  I may go along. Okay, so probably not,  

or possibly not. Okay. Are you going to apply  for that promotion, that's an opportunity.  

Probably not. It's just, I don't think I really  want to commit myself to the company for the  

length of time that they're looking for.  So either possibly not, or probably not.

Next one not exactly, not quite. Do understand  what we're looking for? Do you understand  

everything that the customer has asked? Well, not  really, or not exactly or not quite. So again,  

rather than saying, No, I haven't a clue what  they're looking for. So we can soften it a little  

bit say, well, not really not quite. Yeah. So  Oh, have you finished that report that we need?  

Not really a few little sections to complete. Have  you finished that report I need it tomorrow. Well,  

not... not quite. But give me another couple  of hours. So rather than saying, No, I haven't,  

or I'm really struggling then, Ah,  not exactly. Not really. Not quite.

And then again, just if your your kids perhaps  ask you something, and you don't want to be just  

say absolutely no, you can say, I think not.  Not this time, perhaps another time? Yeah.  

Okay. Would you like to join us for lunch? I  think not. I think I'll stay at my desk and  

finish this bit of work, I really want to get  home. But thanks, anyway. Yeah, so I think not.

So nice, polite ways in which you can say no,  without actually saying no, not really. Probably  

not or possibly not. Not exactly. Not quite. I  think not, I think not. Okay. So there are good  

ways in which you can be a little more polite,  and how you turn down that request or that offer.

Now, if we don't want to be so polite,  and we do want to be firm. Okay,  

firm means strong to make sure somebody gets the  message. So there's no misunderstanding. There's  

no ambiguity in the answer you give people  understand that no, definitely does mean no.

Certainly not. Absolutely not. Mum, can I stay  up tonight and watch the horror movie? All the  

kids in the class are watching it. Certainly  not. Absolutely not. You gotta get up early  

in the morning for school, so certainly not.  Absolutely not. So without a shadow of a doubt  

that child is not going to be able to watch that  horror movie. Certainly not. Absolutely not.

Sorry, it's not possible. Yeah.  Can you collect me from school?  

Can you take me to the disco? Can  you pick me up from the disco? Sorry,  

not possible. Can't do that. I've got a  busy day the next day. I'm not going to be  

sitting outside a disco all night waiting  for you to come. So it's not possible.

Or if somebody asks you can you take me  to Mary's house? Can you drop me? Well,  

not now. I'm busy now. Well, come on,  please. No, I said not now. So again,  

you've been absolutely firm. Give me half an  hour and I'll drop you there. Okay, so not now,  

okay. Or if somebody knocks on your office door  and say can I disturb you? I wanted to get your  

opinion for 10 minutes. Look, not now, come  back later, I'm in the middle of something,  

and I really have to get it finished. So  a very firm "no" Not now, come back later.

So firm ways in which you can say No, certainly  not. Absolutely not. Not possible. Not now. Okay.

And the last section then informed ways to say no.  Nope, nah. So have you seen the car keys? Nope.  

Would you fancy pizza tonight? Nah, something  else. Do you want to go to the movies? Nah,  

not interested in the movies really.  The weekend, yeah, but not not midweek.

Would you like to play a game  of cards or game of Monopoly?  

I think I'll pass. I'm tired. I'm going  to go to bed early. I think I'll pass.

Do you think they're going to  win the football match tomorrow  

night? Not a chance. Absolutely not Not a chance.

Do you think we'll get a salary increase  or indeed, we might get a bonus.  

Not happening. I don't see it happening.  It's not happening. Things are difficult.  

I don't think they're going to be given  salary increases. And I definitely don't  

believe we're going to get any bo...  bonuses. So not happening, not this year.

Now, some ways to soften this when you want to  say no. Friends come round to your home and say,  

Come on, we're going for a hike. We're going to  go up there. The mountains are a couple of hours,  

we'll bring some food with us. And we'll be  back by three o'clock. You must be joking!  

Have you seen the temperature? There's no way  I'm going. You have to be kidding. There's  

absolutely no chance that I'm travelling up  that mountain. Okay. So you must be joking.  

Or are you kidding? There's no way you're  going to get me out on a day like today,  

some of the time come back in a few  months when I'm feeling better. Okay,  

so you're really making them aware that there is  no chance that you're going to go hitchhiking or  

hiking up the hill or climbing the mountains,  not when the weather is as cold as it is.

And then finally, when we want to absolutely  tell somebody in a half joking way that No,  

no way. No way. Yeah. So again, depends on  how you say it because you can say it like  

that. No way with an element of surprise  in your voice. Or you can say it with real  

deep intonation. No way. So if someone wants  to borrow your car last time, he borrowed it  

a little bit of an accident side of the car is  damaged. So when he asked you this time, No way,  

you are not driving my car. Full stop. Yeah. Okay.  So you let him know he's not going to get it.

But if you get a bit of a surprise about  something, and they come in said, Oh,  

did you hear that Mary got engaged? No way!  Mary? Wow, I must drop her line. I must write  

and tell her congratulations. Wow, no way. That's  great news. So here, it's a bit uplifted. And  

it's a slightly different way of using Norway.  So all about the intonation in your voice.

Okay, so that we have some informal ways. Nope.  Nah. Not interested. I think I'll pass. Not a  

chance. Not... Not happening. Not today. Not  ever. You must be joking! Are you kidding?  

No way or no way. I'm not doing that or you're  not doing that. So really emphasise it strong.

Okay, so all of those different ways in which  you can say no without actually seen or you've  

got form ways to see them in formal ways to  see them when you want to avoid seeing it,  

but you want to be a bit polite. And then finally,  when you want to be really firm to make sure  

somebody gets the message, that there's absolutely  no chance that they're going to borrow the car,  

there's no chance that they're going  to be allowed to do something. Okay.

So, again, practice these, try to avoid you're  saying no, all the time, it gets a little bit  

boring. Pick a couple of the options here formal  or informal. Practice them with your friends,  

practice writing them down in sentences. And if  you have any problems, any issues, of course,  

come back to me www.englishlessonviaskype.com.  Very happy to help you very happy to give you some  

additional advice or examples. Whatever you happen  to need. Okay, well, this is Harry saying goodbye.  

Thanks for listening. Thanks for watching.  And as always join me for the next lesson.