ENGLISH FLUENCY SECRETS | How to Disagree in English POLITELY

Hi there, this is Harry and welcome back  to Advanced English lessons with Harry,  

where I try to help you to  get a better understanding  

of the English language. Help you to  prepare for those proficiency exams,  

or just basically to improve your conversational  English, your business English. Whatever it is,  

you've come to the right place, and we're very  happy to help you. And in this particular lesson,  

we're going to focus on disagreement,  how to disagree in English, but politely.

Okay, so it's an advanced English lesson, looking  at ways and expressions you can use as to how to  

disagree with somebody, but in a polite way.  Of course, if we don't disagree with somebody,  

we can just simply say, I don't agree.  No, I don't I don't agree with you. No,  

that's rubbish. Yeah. So that can  come across sometimes as a bit rude.  

But if we want to be a bit polite, because  either it's a customer, or it's our boss,  

or it's somebody we don't wish to upset,  or perhaps you're just a nice person,  

and we don't like to be rude if we can avoid it,  then there are ways in which you can disagree,  

politely. As always, on many cases, we've got  10 of these, I'll give them to you one by one,  

and hopefully give you an example that you will be  able to use, or you will be able to practice them.

Okay, let's start. As I said, we've got 10. Number  one, really, and it's really with a question mark,  

really, and when we, we disagree with somebody,  we... it's all about the intonation. So if  

somebody says, black, and you think it's white,  they go, Really? Yeah, so your intonation or  

your body language would suggest that you don't  agree, but it's not you're not being aggressive,  

or you're not being rude. Really? Is  that what you think? Really? Yeah. Okay,  

I think this order is in the bag. I think I've got  it. Really? Yeah, I think we've got a little bit  

more time to wait until we get the confirmation.  So it's intonation, body language. Really?

That number two. I don't think so. I don't  think so. No, I don't think so. Now, again,  

here, it's about the intonation. So when  we use this, I don't think so, it's again,  

it's a way of saying to somebody, I don't agree.  Okay. Yeah. So do you think we will get the job  

done by the end of the week? Yeah, of course,  no problem. I think we'll actually have it  

completed tomorrow. I don't think so. There's  a lot more to this than you think. Okay. Do  

you think that customer is going to sign up to  that new contract? Yeah, I think he'll have no  

choice when he sees that, you know, the effort  we've put in, you know that, you know, we have  

to increase the cost? I don't think so. So it's  all the intonation that you put into this again,  

expressing your doubt, your uncertainty, or your  level of disagreement? I don't think so. Do you  

think we're going to win win this this cup?  Ah, I think yeah, it's in the bag. We've got  

a great team this year. I think we will really  win it quite easily. I don't think so. Okay.

Number three. Now, number three, again, about  intonation. Okay, all about where you put the  

stress, the words themselves are quite short. No  way. No way. No. But if you put a lot of emphasis  

and stress, no way. Yeah. So you know, or no way.  It really emphasises the fact that you don't agree  

with what somebody is saying. I'm going to  go to the party, we're going to go out with  

the friends. And I won't be back late. No way.  You've got school tomorrow, you're not going to  

any party tonight. So when that classic argument  between parent and child, they want to go out. But  

you know, the school tomorrow and you're going to  have a real difficult job trying to wake them up  

and get them ready for school the next morning.  So No way. You're not going to the party on a  

Wednesday or Thursday. Yeah. Friday, Saturday,  okay. But Monday through to Thursday? No way,  

you're not going. So you disagree with  whatever somebody has asked you to do.

Number four, I'd say the opposite. I'd say  the opposite. So when somebody says something,  

and you want to disagree. Well, in fact, I'd  say the opposite. Or I'd say the opposite is  

true. Actually, this is how I believe it's  going to work. So you want to disagree with  

somebody. You don't want to have a row,  but you know, from experience or you know,  

because you know the person better  that this is not actually going to be  

the way it works out. It is going to be the  opposite. I'd say the opposite. Or in fact,  

I'd say the opposite will happen. Just watch.  Yeah. So you could be having a discussion about  

the new election or election of a government  and your friend believes that the party from  

the left are going to win because the people  are unhappy. They're not happy about recent tax  

increases, and they're worried about inflation  or jobs, whatever it is they're worried about.  

So your friend believes that people are going  to vote on mass for the parties on the left,  

and you say, Well, I'd say the opposite.  Even though people are a bit disgruntled  

or unhappy with this government, at least they  know them. Yeah. But the party from the left,  

they've got some very, very strange strategies,  very strange ideologies. I'm not so sure it's  

going to be as easy as you think, for them to  get into power. So I'd actually say the opposite.

Number five, and again, a very simple expression  and a way to disagree. Not necessarily,  

not necessarily. So you're not saying no, and  you're not saying, I don't believe you, or I don't  

agree. Not necessarily. So again, if we go back to  our discussion about politics and your friend or  

friends or discussing it over a beer in the bar,  and they all have their input, the old say, what  

they think is going to happen? And you say, Well,  not necessarily. You know, there's a possibility  

that this other party are going to win. You know,  they're very, very good. They've got lots of young  

candidates, they will appeal to the younger  voters. You know, there are a lot of people  

now going to be voting for the first time. So I'm  not so sure this party are going to walk in as  

they did the last time. So yeah, not necessarily.  Okay. So when we're asked, if something's going to  

happen, or we believe something's going to happen,  we we might just disagree, but we don't want to  

say definitely. So we might just use an expression  like, well, not necessarily. So a good way and a  

soft way, a gentle way, friendly way, polite way  to disagree. Not necessarily. Do you think this is  

over? Do you think we'll ever get our salary  increase? Do you think we'll get a bonuses?  

I think this company is really, really gone  downhill? Not necessarily. I mean, if we approach  

the management in the right way, we approach  them with our ideas, perhaps they will listen,  

yeah, it's going to be difficult, but nothing is  over. Yes, until it is over. So not necessarily.

Number six, how can you say that? How can you say  that? So again, a way of expressing our doubt,  

or a disagreement with something that somebody  says, How can you say that? So somebody makes  

a very strong statement, and you disagree with  it. And you really want to challenge them as to  

what they've said, see? How can you say that.  So for example, somebody is talking about the  

level of immigration, it's a big hot potato in  Europe, and has been for several years. And so  

some people have very, very strong opinions,  whether immigrants should be allowed into  

country should be allowed to stay. And  you might have a very different opinion,  

you might support the idea that your government  and your country should be generous and kind and  

open the doors to immigration. So when somebody  voices a different opinion, you might just say,  

well, how can you say that when these people  have lost everything, these people have risked  

everything, these people have walked for hundreds  and hundreds of kilometres to get here. You know,  

they're obviously desperate. So  how can you say that? So again,  

we're voicing our disagreement, but not in a  rude way, in a polite way. How can you say that?

Number seven. Where's the logic in that? So  this is usually around facts and figures.  

So if somebody is just speaking, as we say, from  the top of their head, and it doesn't make sense,  

the numbers don't stack up, you're just scratching  your head wondering, what does that all mean? You  

might say, Well, look, where's the logic in that?  Where's the logic in the argument that you've put  

forward? You know, it doesn't make sense to me. So  I really can't agree with you. Where's the logic  

in that? So it could be if your boss wants you to  all to work harder to get more products produced  

to increase the the stock of the products in the  warehouses. And you're questioning it because,  

well, if we're not selling the product, what's  the point of making more? We're going to run  

out of space, and then we'll have to rent  additional warehousing space to hold all this  

new product that we're producing. So where's  the logic in that? So when somebody explains  

it to you about what the plan is, you scratch  your head and say, Well, I don't understand,  

where's the logic in that? So when somebody  presents one argument to you, and you don't  

agree with it, and you question, the facts,  the figures, that justification for something,  

you might use the expression, where's the  logic, and that just doesn't make sense.

Number eight, so here, we might be sounding  a little bit exasperated when somebody says  

something and maybe they repeated several  times, you might say Something like,  

you can't honestly believe that. Come  on, you can't honestly believe. Or you  

can't honestly think that so you're really  asking them to think long and hard before  

they really confirm their view or their  opinion, you can't honestly think that,  

I know you a long time. I know the sort of person  you are. So somebody might be saying something,  

just to be provocative. Lots of people do  they say things to create an argument to  

get discussion going, and you might be a little  bit exasperated with it. So you, you say to them,  

Well, you can't honestly believe that. I don't  believe that you believe that. I can't honestly  

believe that. Or do you honestly think that?  So you're checking what they say and how they  

say it. And do they really, really believe it?  So you're, you're trying to disagree with them,  

but in a polite way. So we say, you can't honestly  believe that or you can't honestly think that.

Number nine. It just doesn't make sense to me. It  just doesn't make sense to me. So this is a little  

bit plainer. Yeah, it's a little bit more obvious  why you're disagreeing with somebody. Well, I hear  

what you're saying. Yeah. But it just doesn't make  sense to me, because so we give them the reasons  

why we believe it doesn't make sense. So we are  disagreeing with them in a polite way. But we're  

offering a counter argument, it doesn't make sense  to me, because, okay. Now, it could be simply  

simply that your partner suggests that, okay, I'll  pick up the kids from school, I'll drop them home,  

then I'll go back to the office and spend a  couple of hours there, then I'll come come  

back home. And then we can go out to the party.  And you say, Well, that seems a lot of journeys,  

that just doesn't make sense to me, why don't  we just get the kids to get the bus home,

I'll be there 10 minutes after that, there'd  been no problems. And then I'll get a taxi,  

and I'll meet you at your office a little later.  So you don't have to do two or three different  

journeys. And that's a lot better. It's, it  means less journeys, that time... less time  

sitting in traffic. So your first suggestion,  it just doesn't make sense. To me, there's a few  

alternatives that we could think of, okay, so not  just say, no, no, that's a stupid idea. You know,  

what are you doing there? It just doesn't  make sense to me, a lot more polite.

And then finally, number 10. This is when we get  a little bit excited. Okay. And again, with the  

intonation, we can really express a little bit  of dissatisfaction. So you have to be really,  

really careful how you say this, because even  though we're trying to suggest being polite,  

if you stress it too much, it might come across  a little bit impolite. Oh, that's ridiculous. Oh,  

that's ridiculous. So that's not such a bad way  to say it. But if you put too much stress on it,  

That's ridiculous. So you're putting more stress  on it, the intonation is very definite that you  

don't agree, and it could come across as a  little bit rude. So if you sort of want to  

treat it half as a joke, that's ridiculous that  nobody does that these days. Yeah. Okay. Oh,  

that's a ridiculous suggestion,  that's not going to work at all.  

So you have been as polite as you can to  tell somebody that is not going to work.

Now, there are lots and lots of other ways in  which we can disagree with people, you know,  

we can say, Are you talking through  your hat? Or you're talking through  

your backside. Or you're talking a load  of poo. Yeah, there are lots of ways in  

which we can tell somebody that we don't  agree, and they will be very definitely,  

perhaps taken with a little bit of a joke, but  sometimes people can get offended, and they  

would certainly appear to be impolite. So what  we're trying to stress is ways of disagreeing,  

but at the same time, being polite. So let me run  through them one more time, there are 10 of them.

Really? I don't think so. No way.  I'd say the opposite. In fact,  

not necessarily. How can you say  that? Where's the logic in that?  

You can't honestly believe that  or you can't honestly think that.

It just doesn't make sense to  me. That's ridiculous. Okay,  

so 10 ways in which you can disagree,  but 10 ways in which you can disagree,  

disagree in a polite way. So that's the  end of this particular lesson. As always,  

try to practice them, try to introduce them. Next  time you're having a discussion with your partner  

next time you have in a chat with your work  colleagues, whatever it is, try to use one or  

two of these when you have the opportunity  to have a disagreement or to disagree with  

somebody and if you need some additional help,  come back to me www.englishlessonviaskype.com.  

I try to give you a couple of more examples.  Okay, so this is Harry wishing you a good day.  

Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening and, as  always, remember to join me for the next lesson