Easy English Conversation: How to talk about STRESS

Hi. This is Gill at www.engvid.com, and today we're going to look at a particular type of

thing that happens to people in their lives and also to look at the kind of way we describe

it in the English language. Okay? So, we're saying: "Don't get stressed out!" Right? Now,

getting stressed out is, with modern life, there are so many demands; we have to do things

quickly, we have to survive, have somewhere to live, enough food to eat, somewhere to

work, all of these things, and it causes a lot of stress. Okay? So this word "stress"

is when you're feeling very... Very upset and agitated, and worried because of everything

that you have to do and everything that's happening, and whether you can cope with it

or not. So, modern life has a lot of stresses and strains. "Strains" are the same idea,

really, things sort of pulling you around, making you do this and that, and you feel

all the time you're having to do what other people want you to do, and you have no control

over what you're doing, all of that kind of thing. And it can be quite upsetting if you

don't feel you're in control of the situation.

So... So we're saying: "Don't get stressed out!" This is maybe a little bit of advice

in here, along with the way of expressing it, about how to cope with stress if you're

feeling stressed. Okay? So there's lots of pressure in the modern world, it can be traumatic,

it can cause you a lot of anxiety. We're always being bombarded by information, advertising:

"Buy this. Do this. You should be doing this." And there's a lot of pressure on people to

do things that maybe they don't really want to do or they don't see the point of doing,

but other people are pressurizing them to do it. Okay?

So... So what someone might say if they're in a job that is very, what we'd say highly

pressured, a job that is very busy with a lot of responsibilities, somebody might say:

"I can't take the stress of this job!" Meaning: "I can't... I can't do it. I can't keep having

all this stress every day. It's too much."

Okay? So: "I can't take the stress of this job!" All right?

One of the terms we use for when you're more comfortable with what you're doing is that

you're in your "comfort zone". It's like a zone, it's an area where you're comfortable.

The things that you're happy doing, the things that you are confident doing, that's in your

comfort zone. So maybe being at home, watching television is in your comfort zone. Maybe

going and playing some sports, going swimming which you enjoy, going out with friends may

all be in your comfort zone where you are comfortable. Okay? So you stay inside your

comfort zone if you don't really want to try new things.

But sometimes, it's a good idea to go outside your comfort zone or step outside your comfort

zone just to test what you might be capable of doing. Okay? Just try a little something

that's different to see how it goes. So it's not always a good idea to stay within your

comfort zone all the time. Try to step outside it occasionally. I often try to try something

new, see how it goes, and if it's successful, then you feel great. "I've learnt something

new, here", and then you feel good about yourself. Okay? So, this term also: "Pushing the envelope"

is another way of saying "going outside your comfort zone", "stepping outside". The idea

of being inside an envelope, you have a letter inside, but the envelope is closed. But if

you push the envelope, you're sort of pushing outside it, trying something new, something

different. Okay? So trying new things.

And then we're all different, we all have different personalities and we had different

upbringings, childhoods, education, and so on, so everybody's different. Some people

actually like stress. Some people thrive on stress, meaning it gives them a lot of energy.

Okay?

They get a lot of energy from stress. Stress produces this, I think it's a hormone,

adrenaline, which gives people a boost and makes them want to run fast or do something

with a lot of energy and strength. So some people thrive on stress. Other people, they

just cannot cope with stress. They can't do... They can't, you know... They can't do anything

with it. They don't want to have any stress, because they can't manage it. They can't manage it.

So "to cope" is to sort of manage something and be okay, but some people just cannot.

They're not okay if they're feeling stressed, because they don't know how to move ahead

with it. They can't use it, you know, to go ahead and do something positive. Or they can

possibly learn to do that, though, with a different way of thinking about it. Okay.

So, then there... Psychologists love to divide things up into categories, and so here are

some types of stress which psychologists have identified. There are four here. There are

probably more, but just to look at these four types of stress. One of them is to do with

time. So some people are always anxious about the time, and how much time they've got to

do something. They're worried about if they have a train to catch: "Oh, I'm going to miss

the train if I don't leave now." Always anxious about: "Oh, I've got to be somewhere else

soon. I mustn't be late." And I don't like being late, so that's slightly one of my things.

I'm often quite early because I hate to be late. So time is one of the issues with stress.

People feel stressed if they think that they're going to be late or they haven't got enough

time for something.

Okay, the type of stress to do with situations that you find yourself in, where maybe you

go into a room for a meeting and there's a feeling that you're not really in control

of your life at that point. Other people seem to be controlling things and you don't feel

in control. So if you feel you're losing control of your life at any stage, that can cause

stress. And also, it can affect... If you have... Everyone has a kind of sense of their

status in society, so if people feel that they're losing their status for some reason...

If they are in a meeting and people are just not looking at you, if they're ignoring you

as if you're not there, you think: "Oh, they don't think I'm important enough to look at

or to speak to." So you sort of feel you're losing status, so that can cause stress. Okay?

Third type of stress: anticipation. To do with the future. If you're constantly worrying

about what's going to happen in the future... "Oh, I've got a meeting next week and I've

got to give a talk, and I'm already getting stressed about it. What am I going to do?"

And you might be having a panic attack or something, and hyperventilating. That's when

you can't breathe properly, like that. Anticipation, thinking, thinking, thinking all the time

about something and getting obsessed about it, rather than maybe just sitting down and

thinking: "Okay, well, I'm giving a talk next week. I'd better start writing down some ideas

for my talk." But if you don't do the practical side of it, you are going to get stressed

by the thought of not being prepared for that talk or whatever it is. Okay?

And finally, the type of stress, encounter, which means meeting, meeting people. Some

people love to meet new people, meeting strangers and getting to know them. Other people are

scared of... Afraid of meeting new people or maybe they are people that you know, but

you don't really want to see them again, you feel a bit threatened by them for some reason,

maybe for good reasons. So the thought of meeting a certain person again who maybe you

had an argument with could create stress, and you think: "Oh, I'm not going to go. I'm

not going to that party because that person might be there, so I'm going to stay home

instead." And that's what happens with people who can't cope with stress often withdraw

from society; they stay at home, they don't go out sometimes.

So it's a sad situation to get into.

So I think my main piece of advice from this lesson is to just try stepping outside your

comfort zone occasionally, try new things, test yourself out, try some new things, and

you can gain confidence from that, finding: "Oh, I can do that. I didn't think I could

do that, and I've just done it", whatever it is. Parachuting from a plane or anything

like that. So you can get a huge boost of confidence just by trying something new occasionally.

All right? And avoiding stress.

So, okay, well I hope that's been helpful and also taught you maybe some new vocabulary

as well, connected with the subject. So if you'd like to take a quiz,

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that would be great. And look forward to seeing you again next time.

Okay. Bye for now.