Let's Learn English! Topic: Conflict! 😠😡🤬 (Lesson Only)

Well hello everyone and welcome to this English lesson. Today

we're going to be talking about conflict. I'm going to help

you learn some English words and phrases that you can use if

ou're having a conversation about conflict. I want to be

clear though that I'm going to be talking about personal

conflicts. I'm not going to be talking about world conflicts.

There's a number of different categories of conflict. Today's

English lesson will be about conflict between two people or

three people or two groups of people. The kind of conflict

you would have maybe at work or with a friend or maybe in your

family. So little personal conflicts that people have with

each other. So anyways once again welcome to this English

lesson about conflicts I maybe should have made the title

personal conflicts and we'll get started right now. I wanted

to start by talking about a fight. In English you will

often hear that you know Joe and Jim had a fight. Or Sally

and Fred had a fight. In English the word fight has two

meanings. Most of the time it means an argument. Sometimes it

mean that people actually hit each other. But most of the

time in a casual English conversation if you say that

someone had a fight you mean that they were arguing. If I

say I had a fight with a colleague at work it doesn't

mean we were punching each other at all. It means we were

arguing. And it also is a verb. So you can have a fight but you

can fight with someone. You can have a fight with someone or

you can be fighting with someone. So you can use this

word in a couple of different ways. You can say that some

people are having a fight or you can say that they are

fighting. Um by the way this lesson will be a lot of slides

of people fighting with each other. A lot of slides a lot of

the pictures will be pictures of people arguing. Um it's not

a fun lesson but I think it's an important lesson. So

hopefully the images don't overwhelm you. So then I Again

we have an argument. If I was to define an argument

specifically I would say that it is when two people think

different things about the same topic. A great example is the

glass half full glass half empty argument. Some people

think that when you see a glass like this that it's half full.

Some people would argue that it's half empty. So an argument

usually happens when people have a difference of opinion.

When people have a different opinion than someone else. And

again you can have an argument you can also argue with

someone. So you could say oh Joe and me had an argument. We

argued all day. So it can be used as a noun or a verb. Um

and you could also again just use the word to fight as well.

There's another argument too about which way you should hang

the role of toilet paper in the bathroom. Uh so when you say

disagreement it basically means that you don't think the same

thing about something. These two boys are having a

disagreement. I think they each think they own the teddy bear.

So they are having a disagreement. They are trying

to pull the teddy bear because they think it belongs to them.

Um so the one boy thinks it's his. The other boy thinks it's

his and they are having a disagreement. You can see

they're not talking. So they're not having an argument. But we

would use the word fight here as well. We could say they're

fighting over the teddy bear. Sometimes you have what's

called a controversy. A controversy is usually a more

formal way to describe two people or group a groups of

people that think differently about something. Many times in

sport in sports you will have controversy. There will be a

play on the field. And the referee will make a call and

half of the people won't agree with it. The other half of the

people are quite happy because their team benefited from the

call. And then you could a controversy after that because

when you watch the replay you can see the ref was wrong and

then you have a controversy. So a controversy is a more formal

disagreement or argument about something. So usually you have

controversy at work. Or there could be some controversy about

something the government did. Um so it's a more formal way to

describe a conflicts. Sometimes people have a falling out. So

when you have a falling out with someone. It means you've

fought you've argued. And you did not come to a resolution.

You did not end the argument happy. You ended the argument

still angry with each other possibly. Or you ended the

argument and you were not talking. When you have a

falling out with someone you walk away from the conflict and

usually you don't talk very much anymore. Or maybe you just

what we say English exchange pleasant trees everyday. You

say hi when you see them but you don't really talk to them

anymore. So sometimes people who are dating will have a

falling out. Sometimes friends will have a falling out.

They'll have an argument about something and then they won't

talk anymore. It's always a sad thing. We have a couple

different words for arguing and fighting. And one of those

words is spat. You can have a spat with someone. This does

not have verb form. You only use it the way I just used it.

You can have a spat with your husband or wife. You can have a

spat with a friend. When you have a spat with someone it

means that you are definitely not getting along. You're I'm

they're doing this a lot. I think this means fighting. This

is my hand signal for fighting. Um but when you have a spat

with someone it means that you are having an argument or you

are having a fight. A good example sentence would be my

brother-in-law and sister-in-law are having a spat

now. They are arguing and fighting about money. They're

having a spat. Um so just another way of describing an

argument or two people not getting along. When it gets

bigger when a disagreement between people or a group of

people gets bigger you sometimes use the word feud

that they're having a feud. And the verb form would be feuding.

You know they are feuding with each other. This means that at

there's not just one disagreement but there's

ongoing disagreement between two people or two groups of

people. So maybe two cousins had an argument about one

thing. And then for years they have been fighting and arguing

about different things. You would say that they are feuding

or they're having a feud. Bickering is kind of a small

way of describe a small description of an argument.

When people are bickering they're just kind of saying

short little sentences to each other and if they're really

upset. So bickering would sound like this. Um let me see who

here's a good one. Sometimes in our house the milk jug is

empty. The pitcher of milk in the fridge is empty and my kids

will start bickering. And because they're try to figure

out who drank the last bag of milk. Milk comes in bags and we

put it in a picture. I'll explain all that later. But

they'll bicker. Um they'll be bickering because they want to

know well who drank the last bit of milk and didn't replace

it with a new bag of milk. So bickering is like a small we

would almost say petty argument. Um when something's

petty it means it's not really important. So bickering It's

not nice to listen to other people bicker. Bickering can be

kind of annoying if you're not the one doing the bickering.

Here's a good one. So in English we will sometimes say

that two people butt heads. They're going to butt heads if

they see each other today. When you butt heads with someone. It

means that you both have a very strong opinion about something

and you aren't afraid to say it. Sometimes people will work

with other people and they butt heads a lot. One person at work

thinks a project should be done a certain way and another

person thinks it should be done a different way. And whenever

they work together they butt heads. I think this phrase

comes from if you watch sheep fighting on a mountain side.

They will butt heads. Sometimes animals actually hit their

heads against each other. Um but in English if you were to

describe two people who don't work well together and who

often argue and usually at work you would say that they butt

heads a lot. So quarrel is just another way to describe a small

argument between two people. When people are quarreling it

means they don't agree. It means that they are talking to

each other maybe in a mean way. Um maybe they're not just

quarreling they're also insulting each other. Um but

when you quarrel with someone it's just another word for

argument. I'm a little surprised as I was putting this

lesson together. I was surprised at how many English

words we have to talk about fighting and arguing and

quarreling and what was the last one? Having a spat or

bickering. Um and these are not rare words that I'm teaching

you. These are not rare. These are very very common. Every

single phrase and word I'm teaching you today is very

common in Canadian North American English. So think

you'll learn a lot as we go through this lesson. Um so

Sometimes people quarrel in the comments. It doesn't happen

very often but when you read comments under a YouTube video

or on Facebook people might quarrel about something. To

throw shade. So this is a regular a relatively new term

that we use to talk about when someone famous says something

disrespectful about another famous person. You can also use

this in everyday life. But most commonly I've seen it used when

a celebrity says something mean about another celebrity or they

might even say it in a subtle way where it kind of sounds

like an insult but when you throw shade at someone it means

you're saying mean things about them and usually publicly like

not not directly but publicly. So we have a phrase in English

to go at each other. When you say that two people go at each

other or in the past tense they went at each other it means

they started fighting. If I came home from work and said in

class today two students started to go at each other. It

means they started to argue. Maybe even yell a little bit.

If you were at work and two colleagues started to talk

louder and louder and eventually start yelling at

each other. When you went home you would say oh Jack and Joe

went at each other today. They were really really annoyed with

each other. Oh and I just thought of another word. We use

the word ticked. They were really ticked with each other.

So when you say two people go at each other it simply means

that they are arguing and very strongly arguing. And then of

course we have the phrase to not get along. The opposite

being to get along. Jen and I get along really well. We like

each other. There are some people in the world that I

don't get along with. It doesn't mean I don't like them.

It simply means we don't work well together or we don't have

the same view on things. We don't get along. You are more

likely to fight and argue with someone that you do not get

along with. Um if you get along with someone you'll probably

have fewer fights. To debate. So this one again works as a

noun or verb. You can have a debate with someone or you can

debate someone. This is a more formal word. We use this to

talk about government or situations where people present

views in a very structured way. Often before an election there

will be a debate. The candidates will have a chance

to debate each other. They will present their opposing views on

a subject. And they will a debate they will debate each

other. And then hopefully they get elected based on how well

they did in the debate. So I'm going to talk about two phrases

here right now to have it out for someone and to have it out

with someone. So they look the same but they are different.

When you have it out with someone it means that you had a

disagreement but noone was really talking about it and

then one day you both started talking about it and you both

started arguing. So maybe at work someone has done something

for days that annoys you. Maybe someone takes your favourite

coffee mug everyday. And then eventually you would have it

out with them. You would have it out with them. You would go

and say stop taking my mug. Maybe someone is eating your

lunch at at work. You bring a lunch and put it in the fridge

and someone eats it everyday. When you find out who is eating

your lunch you would have it out with them. So basically it

means that you have a like a conflict where you explain why

are upset. When you have it out for someone let me explain this

now. When you have it out for someone it means you don't like

them and you're always finding ways to argue with them. You

might have someone you work with or someone in your family

and you think they have it out for you. That means that no

matter what you do at work they're always annoyed with

you. No matter what you do your brother or sister is mad at

you. When they have it out for you when you have it out for

someone you are always looking for a way a reason to be angry.

Backhanded comments. So backhanded comments are are

kind of funny. Um a backhanded comment is a comment where

you're saying one thing and it might sound nice but it also is

very critical. I'm trying to think of one. Um like if

someone said to you you're very beautiful from a certain angle.

So they're saying that you're beautiful when you From a

certain angle but they're also kind of saying you're not

beautiful from a different angle. So someone if someone

said to you oh you have a very beautiful profile. Like the

side is very beautiful. They might also be saying that when

they see you from the front you're not beautiful. So a

backhanded comment can lead to conflict. Passive aggressive.

So when someone is passive aggressive they avoid conflict

but they don't make the situation better. They actually

do things to show their annoyance but they're very

passive. A good example would be this. If you don't like your

boss some people might go to their boss and explain what

they don't like. They might say I don't like it when you do

this. A passive person instead would work more slowly. A

passive aggressive person might steal little things from work.

A passive aggressive person would show their annoyance by

not having a direct conflicts. So they might they might do

what I just mentioned. The classic example would be

someone's annoyed with their boss so they work more slowly.

So they're being passive aggressive. They're not

actually talking to their boss about why they're upset or what

is upsetting them. Um it's always interesting when people

have passive aggressive tendencies. Other people will

will just do something right in your face. So it's pass of

aggressive to work more slowly but if you wanted to you know

if you wanted to say to your boss in your face you would

just sleep at your desk. Like if you were annoyed you would

do something very visible and public that would let your boss

know that you were annoyed and upset. Okay another example of

a fight or argument or spat would be a tiff. When you're

having a tiff with someone it means you're having a small

argument. Sometimes married couples or people who are

dating people who are romantically involved will have

a tiff. You can also have a tiff with your friend. Maybe

you went out to eat. And you paid the bill. And you expected

your friend to give you money later. And then they did And

then they said I oh I thought it was your treat. I thought

you were paying for me. You might then have a little tiff.

You're not super annoyed with each other. You're not going to

stop being friends but you're having a small fight. People

have tiffs all the time. A rift. So a rift is a gap

between something but it can also describe a gap between

people. Often when workers are angry and they go on strike and

things are said sometimes things that are insulting

between the employer and the workers a rift can develop so

they're no longer talking to each other they there's a kind

of a gap an imaginary gap between them this can happen

with friends as well. Two friends might have a fight and

it might be really serious and they might hurt each other's

feelings and then they might have a rift between them.

Something happened that caused them to not talk to each other.

It's never nice when there is a rift between groups of people

or between friends. It's very hard to solve that. To lose

your cool. So I feel bad for this guy. Whenever I need a

picture of someone getting angry. I always find this

picture on the free picture websites. So I'm sure he's just

a model and they told them to look angry. So but to lose your

cool means to become angry. When you lose your cool it

means you're mad it means you're angry. If you were to

well let me tell you a story. When I was a kid at school

someone in my class kept throwing orange peels at me and

hitting me in the head. And eventually I just yelled at

them to stop doing it. I was only about 10 years old. So I

would say in the past tense I lost my cool. I was calm. I got

annoyed and eventually I started yelling. At the point

where you're yelling at the point when you're angry you

would say that you are losing your cool. When you lose your

cool it means you have become angry. Don't lose your all. Uh

and we also have a shorter version to lose it. This guy

he's so tired of wearing his mask that he he lost it. So I

went to the past tense there but when you say you're

going to lose it it means you're going to get angry. So

if you're like ah if it snows today I'm going to lose it.

What you're saying is you don't want it to snow. And if it does

snow you're going to become angry about it. And it is

anger. When you lose it you are angry. You're not upset. You're

not annoyed. When you lose it it definitely means that you

are angry. When you get into an argument with another person

when you raise your voices and maybe start yelling at each

other. You could say that you had a run in. You could say oh

I had a run in with someone at work today. I was talking about

something and they got really annoyed and started yelling at

me and I started yelling at them. We had a run in. Let me

give you the official dictionary definition. It's

funny how we use words in English isn't it? A run-in is a

serious argument with someone where you raise your voice and

get angry. Example I had a run-in with the boss today or I

had a run-in with the police. You don't want to have a run in

with the police. That would be bad. Anyways a run in is

anytime you have a verbal conflict with someone. Discord

is a general term for when people are annoyed about

something. So when you have Discord you don't have peace.

If the boss told me today that I was going to get paid less

next year. If the boss told all of the teachers you're going to

get paid less next year. We would have discord at work. We

would have widespread unhappiness. So when you have a

lot of people annoyed, upset, angry, unhappy about something

you have discord in an organization. You can also have

Discord in your family. If your brother-in-law doesn't get

along with your sister-in-law or something or one cousin

doesn't get along with another cousin you could say that you

have discord in your family. Major disagreement. Strife.

Strife is a more formal term for discord. When you have

strife you have a lot of people not getting along or two

people. Let's get an official definition of meaning strife.

Give me one second here. Angry or bitter disagreement over

fundamental issues. Conflict. So strife then is just another

word to describe conflicts. To describe a situation where

people aren't getting along. So friction so the general

definition of friction is like when I rub my hands together

they get warm because of friction when metal slides on

metal it doesn't slide smoothly because there's friction. So

you put oil on it so that there's less friction so it

slides more smoothly. We also use the word friction to talk

about a relationship. If you were to say oh there's a lot of

friction between Joe and Dave. That means that they don't they

rub each other the wrong way. There's another phrase for you.

Um there's friction between them. It means they they aren't

friends. Um and they aren't happy working with each other

or doing things with each other. There is friction. So it

doesn't mean That there's conflicts. It means there's the

possibility of conflict at any moment. When there's friction

between 2 people. A dispute. So again in sports this is the

best example. Sometimes there is a dispute. A dispute is when

one person thinks one thing happened. And the other person

thinks something else happened. There is a dispute. Maybe the

umpire or referee made a call and the coach wants to dispute

the call. He will then have a dispute. Again subject and

verb. So you can have a dispute you can also dispute something

with someone so it's usually a calm discussion a dispute it's

a little more formal you know I'm going to dispute the call

or something like that in fighting so when you have

infighting it means people in the same organization are

fighting with each other so here's a good example if two

basketball teams play each other if this team starts

arguing with the other team that's just arguing. But if

this team starts arguing with each other and starts arguing

with their own coach that's infighting. If you have a

business and all of the employees are fighting with

each other. That's infighting. Uh if you have a family where

brothers and sisters are fighting you can say oh there's

a lot of infighting in that family. So infighting simply

describes fighting in a group of people who shouldn't be

fighting probably in an organization. Family or a team

in fighting. Squabble just another word for arguing. Again

a lot of pictures of people arguing. A lot of pictures of

people not getting along. A squabble is simply another way

of describing people who are arguing. I had a squabble with

my friend. We were squabbling. I don't know if I use it as a

verb very often. I would definitely say I had a

squabble. Uh so we have another English phrase a shouting

match. Sometimes an argument is civil. When you say something

is civil it means it's polite. You can argue with someone in a

very polite way. Where you take turns talking. This person says

what they think this person says what they think. And you

have a nice conversation. But sometimes it turns into a

shouting match. A shouting match is anytime two people are

arguing and they start talking louder and louder and they

start yelling and then they don't even take talking.

They're just yelling at each other. They're both just

yelling to see who can yell the loudest. Uh it's a shouting

match. I have only really seen this with children. Adults

usually don't have shouting matches but sometimes they do.

It's not fun to see when adults have a shouting match. A scrap.

So when you use the word scrap and there is a verb too to

scrap. It means fighting. It doesn't have to be physical but

it usually is. If you say oh there was a scrap during the

hockey game last night or there was a scrap during the

Basketball game it usually means people were pushing each

other or even punching. By the way it's rare in basketball for

people to have a scrap. But it's pretty common in hockey.

And we also have a slightly more formal term an

altercation. So an altercation can mean people yelling at each

other. It can also mean people physically fighting with each

other. And then to clash. So when you clash with someone it

means you're fighting. You might recognize this word if

you ever played the game clash of clans. So a clash is another

way to describe a fight. Sometimes people just clash

with each other. Um they they don't get along. They argue.

They fight all the time. They clash way too much.