Speak English in 30 Minutes: Advanced English Lesson with BBC News

In this advanced English lesson with the news,  

we're going to read a news article together  so you can speak English in only 30 minutes.  

Welcome back to JForrest English. Of  course, I'm Jennifer. Now, let's get

started.

Our headline. It might be time to re-parent  yourself. Here's how to get started.

Notice here this is our modal of probability  might so it's saying something could happen  

but also could not happen. It's just a  probability or a possibility. It might  

be now after modals you use your base  verb. It might be time to reparent.

Now notice here this word is  in quotes, a single quote,  

which means it's not a universally accepted  term. Now the term is re-parent. Without  

this re the verb is to parent. You might  be more familiar with parent as a noun.

She's his parents, his mom and dad,  so parents together, mom and dad,  

a parent could be a mom or a dad, a  parent, but here it's two parent. Now  

when you add re before a verb, it means  to do it again. I need to rewatch this  

lesson because I learned so much so that  would be your verb to mean watch again.

Using parent as a verb, you might say  it's hard to parent a teenager. So  

this is your verb to parent. Now said the a  different way, but the meaning is the same.  

You can say it's hard to be a parent. So in  this case a parent means a mom or dad. It's  

the noun and the verb is be to be a parent,  and then you would add the preposition to a.

Teenager. So these two sentences have the  same meaning. It's just one uses the verb  

form and one uses the noun form. So  to re-parent means to parent again,  

but in this context it isn't your  child, your teenager, it's yourself.

So that's the topic of this article and the  next part, here's how to get started. So this  

is commonly used to provide instructions.  Here's how to learn English with the news.  

Here's how to download this lesson or  this PDF for example so that would be  

to provide an instruction. Here is as  a contraction, here's how and then.

Your infinitive. You can also use a subject and  a verb. So equally I could say, here's how you  

can download the PDF. So this one, the first  one here's how to download just sounds more  

natural. It's not directed at a specific  person, it's to anyone. But in this case,  

the you is the more royal you, which means  anyone as well. And this is our modal verb, and

And then you can download. So download is  a verb as well, but it's modal plus base  

verb. Now there is a free lesson PDF for this, so  don't worry about taking notes. To download it,  

simply look in the description and click  the link. Coming back to the headline,  

here's how to get started. Now, of course,  you could simply say, here's how to start.

Because you can use start as a verb,  but in this case, get is your main verb,  

and then started is being used in the participle  form. But using get started instead of start,  

it has the same meaning, but get started is more  conversational. It also sounds more friendly,  

more encouraging, whereas here's how to  start. It sounds more direct, a little.

More formal. But here's how to get started. It  sounds friendly and encouraging. I could ask you,  

are you ready to get started? And  then you can say, I'm ready. Jennifer,  

I'm ready. So if you're ready, put I'm ready, I'm  ready, put that in the comments because this was  

just the headline. So let's get started  with the main article. OK, here we go.

If you spend much time on mental  health Instagram or therapy talk,  

you might have come across talk of how to  re-parent yourself or your inner child.

So here again re-parent, you have it in a double  quote. I don't know why they had it in a single  

quote here and a double quote. They both are  saying that this concept of parenting again,  

adding re is not universally accepted,  so it's not an official term. So if  

you spend much time on mental health  Instagram, this is a noun. If you were

to use a verb, you need a Jain verb because you  spend time doing something. So if you spend much  

time scrolling on mental health Instagram, now  maybe you talk about this in the negative and say,  

I don't spend much time now still your  verb in ING reading articles on TikTok.

And you don't have to use the word  time if you said I spent all weekend,  

but this represents time, right? So  this is still a gerund expression.  

I spent this is the past symbol of to  spend. I spent all weekend watching.

The verb and ING watching Jer's  English lessons. I'm so happy to  

hear that. Hopefully you did. So if  you spend much time on mental health,  

Instagram or scrolling on, this is not  required here, but if you were to use a verb,  

scrolling on mental health Instagram or  therapy Talk, you might have. What is this?

This is a contraction. Now contractions are  not slang. Contractions are legitimate words.  

They're in the dictionary. They perhaps are  more informal, but they're also widely used and  

preferred by native speakers in most context.  So this is the contraction of might have.

Because you might have come across. So that's the  

sentence structure there. You might  have, you might have come across.

So if you come across something in this case the  something is talk of how to reparent yourself  

so talk of just represents people sharing  information so maybe it was an article,  

maybe it was a video maybe it was a gift, whatever  that information is and if you come across that  

information it means you see it but you weren't  purposely looking for it so you were just.

Looking for updates on what your friends  were doing or you were just killing time  

while you were waiting for your tea to finish  steeping and then you're scrolling on TikTok or  

Instagram and you see an article on reparenting  yourself, but you weren't purposely looking  

for that. So that is come across. Let's  continue. Maybe you rolled your eyes so.

I don't know if I did it very well, but uh, so we  roll our eyes in frustration, disgust, annoyance.  

So if your, your friend, your spouse, your boss  does something that annoys you or frustrates you,  

you go like this, but hopefully they don't  see you doing that because they could get up.

Such because they know what that means. Maybe  you rolled your eyes and kept scrolling. So  

this is suggesting that you, if you came  across some article about re-parenting,  

you might think like, oh, this is dumb  or I don't need this. This is a waste  

of time. So it's suggesting  you thought of it negatively.

When you first came across it. So that's  important that they included it here.  

Maybe you rolled your eyes. Now this is  in the past simple because it's at that  

time when you saw the article, when you  came across the article and notice I.

is always plural because we have two and it's  also possessive. So to whoever the subject is.  

In this case, the subject is you. So that's  why it's your eyes, but maybe it's she rolled  

her eyes at my joke. So she didn't think my  joke was very funny. She rolled her eyes.

So again, maybe you rolled your  eyes and kept scrolling. So you just  

ignored this article on reparenting  yourself and you kept scrolling.

But if the concept intrigues you,  hmm, so if something intrigues you,  

it means it causes you to have curiosity  about it. You want to learn more about it.  

You're fascinated by it. Here it's the active  verb to intrigue, so something, the concept.

Intrigues someone and then you have to conjugate  your verb. But if the concept intrigued you,  

so in the past simple at that time, but this verb  is commonly used in the passive voice because  

we want to put the focus more on ourselves.  For example, I was intrigued, so your verbal.

Of course is the verb to be this is always in  the ED form. I was intrigued by that article on  

reparenting I came across on TikTok. So if  you want to focus more on you experiencing  

the emotion rather than the something causing  the emotion, so it's very commonly used that  

way. But if the concept intrigues you,  if you were intrigued by the concept.

There's good reason. Re-parenting  is actually a helpful framework. OK,  

so notice they use this word actually.  Why did they do that? I'm asking this  

because many students use actually incorrectly.

Actually is not used to emphasize something.  It's used to correct a false assumption or  

to emphasize the correct information when  someone is thinking something different.

So for the easiest explanation is someone  might say oh you stayed home last night,  

right? They assume the information and  you say actually I worked so you use  

actually to correct that assumption now  remember the assumption is that this.

This article on re-parenting is going to be  annoying or disgusting or cause some sort of  

negative feeling inside of you. That's why you  rolled your eyes at it. So that's what they're  

correcting. They're saying it's actually a  helpful framework because the assumption is  

that it wouldn't be helpful for whatever reason.  Re-parenting is actually a helpful framework.

That a growing number of  therapists use with their clients.

Are you enjoying this lesson? If you are, then I  want to tell you about the finally fluent academy.  

This is my premium training program where  we study native English speakers from TV,  

movies, YouTube, and the news so you  can improve your listening skills of.

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look in the description for the link to  learn more, or you can go to my website  

and click on Findly fluent Academy.  Now let's continue with our lesson.

Imagine a 3 year old is on a swing set.

A swing set. This is a swing, so you have the  seat, the child sits on, and then there's two  

ropes or two chains, and then a swing set is just  12 or 3 swings within a metal or wooden frame.

So you see these at parks or even in people's  backyards. So a swing set. Now imagine this is  

the in the imperative. The imperative is just the  base verb and it's used to provide instructions  

or orders. So if I say download the free PDF,  I'm providing that to you as an instruction.

Download the PDF. Imagine a 3 year old. So I want  you to do this. Imagine, create that image in your  

mind. Now, a 3 year old, this represents a noun  form because this is a child who is 3 years old.

Now this, this 3 year old, this is the adjective,  so it doesn't take an S. That's why you don't have  

an S here. But if you say imagine a child who is 3  years old on a swing set, then you would have the  

S. So let's continue. Imagine a 3 year old child  is on a swing set and tries to jump off but falls.

They scrape their knee. So  if you scrape your knee,  

it means that you cause some bruising  or bleeding on your knee. So kids,  

they commonly get a lot of scrapes. A scratch  would be more of a like one vertical line or it  

could be a horizontal line, where a scrape  is more of, I guess it's a larger area.

They scrape their knee and naturally start crying.

So here this naturally is used to say,  this is a normal reaction for a child.

So you can use this in other situations. I  saw her at the party and naturally I said  

hello or he told a rude joke and naturally I  rolled my eyes because that's a normal thing  

to do in that situation, in my opinion.  So that's how you can use naturally to  

almost justify the action by saying that's  the normal thing to do in that situation.

So I could say when you speak in English you  will naturally make mistakes to let you know  

that's the normal thing to happen. So here's  that example so you can see how to write it  

out. He told a rude joke and naturally I  rolled my eyes. Now remember information  

between two commas can be removed from the  sentence. So if I remove this naturally.

He told a rude joke and I rolled  my eyes. It's still grammatically  

correct, which is what needs to  happen. And if you add it back,  

it just gives more information. It makes it  sound like I think my action was justified,  

the normal natural thing to do in that situation.  So let's review this again. They scrape their  

knee and naturally start crying for their  caregiver. Now here they're using caregiver.

To be more inclusive because sometimes children do  not have a mother or father, which is a parent in  

this situation or with them for a large part  of their development as a child, it may be

A nanny, a babysitter, an  older sibling, a grandparent,  

a family friend, so it could be any number  of other people who also care for the child.  

So that's what the word caregiver  represents it's just more inclusive.

The way their parent or caregiver reacts in  this situation. So here again like I said,  

they're being inclusive parent and then  many children have alternative situations  

so caregiver is more broad. The way their  parent or caregiver reacts in this situation  

or any distressing event in childhood is  crucial. So crucial means extremely important.

So if your boss says it's crucial,  notice that pronunciation, crucial,  

crucial that you finish the report before  you leave today, I wouldn't leave without  

finishing that report because I know it's not just  important, it's crucial. It's extremely important.

Let's continue. When a kid is freaking out, oh,  

this is a really good phrase or verb.  It's to freak out and notice here it's  

in the present continuous because it's taking  place now. The kid is freaking out right now.

To freak out is to have a strong intense emotional  reaction, but that reaction can be positive or  

negative, so you could say she freaked out  when she won the award, so she started,  

oh my God, I won, I won, and started crying  uncontrollably, but again she's very happy.

It's a very strong intense, happy, positive  emotional reaction. She could freak out when  

she lost the award, so she starts crying in  upset, sadness, anger, frustration, so it can  

be positive or negative. So when a kid is freaking  out, in this case it probably sounds negative.

because they talked about scraping their knee  after they fell off a swing set for a child  

that can be very traumatic. So when a kid is  freaking out, it's because they don't have  

the brain development to calm down. Oh, to calm  down is if your emotional reaction is up here,  

you want to bring that emotional  reaction and your emotional state.

Lower and lower and lower until it's more neutral.  

So in this example, if you  have this crucial report.

But you must leave work at 6 o'clock and  it's 5:30. You're not done the report. You  

might start freaking out, becoming really  upset, and then your coworker tells you  

to calm down. You need to calm down. You need  to calm down. So that's how you could use all  

three of these freak out and calm down. They  go hand in hand. They're the perfect pair.

So they need their caregiver, says Ariel Armas  PhD. Ideally, the caregiver would come to  

their aid, so to their aid means if you come to  someone's aid, it means you provide support, you  

provide help. That might be to help someone finish  a report so you can come to your co-workers' aid.

And help them finish the report or it can also  be used if someone is injured. So you provide  

help or support if a child is crying because  they're injured because they scraped their knee.

So ideally the caregiver would come to their  aid, would help them and soothe the child.  

So to soothe someone, you might need to  soothe your best friend, your mother,  

father, your boss. You, you could soothe anyone.  It's you try to make them feel better and also

Help them calm down. So maybe you rub  the child's back, you kiss the child,  

you hug the child. So those would all be ways  you would soothe the child. In this context,  

maybe you just tell them it's  OK, everything will be fine.  

How about I get you some water? So  that could be how you soothe an adult.

A good replacement word would  be comfort and comfort someone,  

the child. Now notice the pronunciation of  soothe, you have the voiced TH, soothe soothe.

And it's a long oo sound soothe soothe the child  in this scenario, teaching them how to calm down,  

so reduce their emotional reaction, how to calm  down, and that they are worthy of being cared for.

So notice to be worthy of and then  something, you could say worthy of love,  

worthy of support or worthy of doing something.  In this case receiving something, being cared for.

A good replacement for worthy is the  verb deserve. The sentence structure  

would be that they deserve care, so  a noun. If you wanted to use a verb,  

you would use the infinitive, and it makes  sense to use the passive voice that they  

deserve to be cared for because they're  receiving the action, not doing the action.

That they deserve care to be cared for, that  they are worthy of care of being cared for.

And of course both of these deserve or worthy.  It means that the care is rightfully theirs.

Let's continue.

But if the caregiver doesn't help, it may  have lasting effects. So lasting here,  

it's being used as an adjective. It means  effects that last a long time. So you can  

use lasting as an adjective to make it  a lot shorter rather than saying it may  

have effects that last a long time. These  wounds from caregivers. Now notice here.

In this context, they're talking about  an emotional wound. A wound is an area  

of your skin or anywhere on your body that is  damaged, so maybe there is a cut, a scrape, uh.

You hurt it in some way. It's  bleeding, maybe it's infected,  

it can be minor or it can be serious. So  that would be a wound, but in this context  

they're talking about emotional wounds, so  you can't see it visibly, but it's damage.

On your inside basically.  So these emotional wounds,  

but they're not using that word, it's  just implied based on the context.

These wounds from caregivers can show up  in all your adult relationships so in this  

case can show up it means can appear, can be  visible in not just the romantic or platonic  

ones but your work or acquaintance relationships  as well. So if you have a platonic relationship.

This means that you have a relationship with  someone of the opposite sex, but it is not  

romantic so it would be I have a relationship  with a man and we're good friends we spend a lot  

of time together, but it's not romantic in any way  so maybe it's a childhood friend and I view him.

Or like a brother or a cousin or a  family member. So that would be platonic,  

platonic. But your work or acquaintance. So  notice the pronunciation, this can be difficult.  

Acquaintance, acquaintance, acquaintance.  An acquaintance means that you know someone.

But not well enough to call them your friend,  so I would say I'm acquaintances with my one of  

my neighbors. I know them I know their  names. I say hello, but I don't really  

know anything about their lives. We don't  socialize together, so they're my neighbors.

They're my acquaintances,  but they're not my friends.  

So this part is saying these emotional  wounds from caregivers can impact all  

your relationships close ones, romantic  ones, casual ones, all your romantic,  

all your relationships. Let's continue.  If your caregiver didn't show up for you.

So in this case, show up, it does mean  appear like we have it here. But if you  

show up for someone, it means more that  you appear in their life consistently.

As someone they can rely on, depend  on someone who supports them.

So it's it's a similar but additional  meaning than simply the phrase or verb  

show up to show up for someone. Another  phrase that's very commonly used is if  

your caregiver wasn't there for you. So  you may know this one, you might say,  

oh, my husband's always there for me, my sister's  always there for me, or I'm always there for you.

So we use this to say, I will always  provide support in whatever way you  

need that support. So to be there for  someone, that's the expression to be,  

to be there for someone, and this, and  this one is to show up for someone.

This one is probably the more commonly  used one, but this one is certainly  

common as well. If your caregiver didn't  show up for you when you needed them,  

you might believe your needs are  not important or worth tending to.

OK, so notice worth is a Jain verb. So  the verb that follows is in the ING form.

So remember before we saw worthy, worthy of,  and then you would have uh your verbin ING.

And it was to be worthy of. So you could say  your needs are not important or are not worthy  

of tending to. So in this case it's to be  worth tending to and the phrasal verb tend  

to here it's in the ING form as we discussed  because of words, but to tend to means to look  

after or care for. So notice here if you  use look, it's look after to look after.

Or to care for. So here, just to be consistent,  

I'll put this in the ING form because  I had that in worth looking after,  

worth caring for. Now we commonly use the the  phrase or verb to tend to with something living.

So you can tend to your child, tend to your pets,  and we also commonly use this with plants because  

of course they're living. So you will hear if  I don't tend to my plants, they'll die. That's  

an obvious statement, but you might hear  someone say my garden needs tending too.

So my garden needs care and my  care, my attention. That's what  

it would mean here. So we use tend to  specifically with something living. OK,  

so you might believe your needs are not  important or worth tending to, taking  

care of or looking after, even if your logical  minds can realize external factors were to blame.

So we're to blame these external factors, this  sounds like as an adult you understand that  

maybe your parent didn't show up for you when  you fell off the swing set for many different  

reasons. You know it isn't something overly  negative, so it's saying even if you're logic.

mind can realize that external factors were  to blame. So to blame were the reason why  

your caregiver didn't show up for  you in your time of need. This can  

cause you to have anxiety. So the fact that  caregivers didn't open up for you or didn't

Show up for you, so that is the  this. This can cause you to have  

anxiety in relationships and not set  boundaries. So if you set boundaries,  

it means you identify what actions or  behaviors you will allow and not allow.

So in a workplace context, maybe your boundary  is, so boundary is the noun, and then set means  

to establish, to put in place. So maybe your  boss always last minute asks you to stay late.

But you have to set a boundary and let your  boss know that if you need to stay late,  

they have to tell you in advance because you have  

to make arrangements for someone  to pick up your kids or walk.

What are your plans or whatever it might be.  So you need to set that boundary and say,  

I leave work at 6 o'clock unless I get 24 hours'  

notice. So that's my rule. That  would be setting a boundary. OK.

So establish and you can establish these in your  personal life, your workplace life with friends,  

family, whatever that might be. So  this can cause you to have anxiety in  

relationships and not set boundaries and  instead act as a people pleaser. So all

people pleaser, this is a noun,  so it describes someone. So you  

might say she is a people pleaser  or my friend is a people pleaser,  

or I'm a people pleaser. A people pleaser  is someone who doesn't want to do something.

But says yes because they know it  will make the other person happy  

even if it causes problems in their  own lives. So if your friend says,  

Can I stay in your house and it would  actually be very difficult for you to  

have your friend in your house, but you say  yes because it will make your friend happy.

Even though it causes you a lot of stress,  that is a people pleaser. So it's not a  

positive thing because it sounds positive to  want to say yes to people and make them happy,  

but it's calling someone a people pleaser is uh  it's a problem. It's something that they should

Stop doing or at least try to reduce.  So let's review this again. Act as a  

people pleaser because seeing others  happy makes you feel safe emotionally.

Now here they they added emotionally now  remember here when they were talking about  

wounds they didn't add emotionally so  emotional wounds because emotional is  

an adjective it describes the wounds but in this  case it is safe emotionally so it's an adverb.

Let's continue. The result, you may need  to re-parent yourself. So everything we  

just read provides the reason why  you may need to re-parent yourself,  

which means to parent yourself again.  Oh, so here, which simply means,  

so they explain what they mean by parent yourself  again, re-parent yourself, which simply means.

Means you give yourself what you didn't receive  from your caregiver as a child. So that situation  

where the caregiver didn't show up for the  kid when they scraped their knee, you can give  

yourself that support or love you wanted at that  time. Whether it's providing yourself emotional.

Validation or preparing the kinds of meals you  are never offered. Learning how to reparent  

yourself can help heal childhood wounds.  So here they described what type of wounds,  

so childhood wounds, they could also add  emotional, so heal emotional childhood wounds.

Because again, in the context of this article, I  understand that it's emotional wounds, but if I  

just saw these three words heal childhood wounds,  I might assume without knowing the context, I  

might assume they're talking about an injury that  you had as a child, OK? So you could add the word.

Emotional to describe what type of  childhood wounds to heal emotional  

childhood wounds and set you up for a healthier,  more emotionally stable existence as an adult.

OK, so here, set you up for something.  This is a really great expression.  

It simply means to prepare you. So hopefully  you're thinking watching J For English lessons.  

Now my verb is sat you conjugate this. In this  case it's conjugated with watching, which is  

a gerrant expression which is conjugated as it  as the subject. So that's why we have this at.

here. The past symbol of set to set is  set. OK. So this is the past simple.  

It has to be the pasty because  if it were the present simple,  

it would not be grammatically correct  because you need this ass. So watching  

Jaffer's English lessons sets me up for success,  prepares me for success. Success is a noun.

You can also use this expression with  the infinitive. Watching Jaffer's English  

lessons set me up, so this is the pasty, is a  completed past action to succeed. So to succeed,  

this is the verb form, and then 4 and then  success is the noun. So I'll just write this  

as a noun so you remember noun. And  then this is the past and it's all.

So a verb, so the verb is to succeed so you  remember that so for something in this case  

success for success to succeed the infinitive. So  in this case it was for something, a healthier,  

more emotionally stable. So stable  means you're not overly freaking out  

about something you're just in a more  calm, stable existence as an adult.

That's the end of the article. What I'll do now  is I'll read the article from start to finish,  

and you can focus on my pronunciation. It might be  

time to reparent yourself.  Here's how to get started.

If you spend much time on mental health Instagram  or therapy talk, you might have come across talk  

of how to reparent yourself or your inner child.  Maybe you rolled your eyes and kept scrolling,  

but if the concept intrigues you, there's  good reason. Reparenting is actually a  

helpful framework that a growing number  of therapists use with their clients.

Imagine a 3 year old is on a swing set  and tries to jump off but falls. They  

scrape their knee and naturally start crying  for their caregiver. The way their parent or  

caregiver reacts in this situation or  any distressing event in childhood is  

crucial. When a kid is freaking out,  it's because they don't have the brain  

development to calm down, so they need  their caregiver, says Ariel Armas, PhD.

Ideally, the caregiver would come to their  aid and soothe the child in this scenario,  

teaching them how to calm down and  that they are worthy of being cared  

for. But if the caregiver doesn't  help, it may have lasting effects.  

These wounds from caregivers can show  up in all your adult relationships,  

not just the romantic or platonic ones, but  your work or acquaintance relationships as well.

If your caregiver didn't show  up for you when you needed them,  

you might believe your needs are  not important or worth tending to,  

even if your logical mind can realize  external factors were to blame.

This can cause you to have anxiety in  relationships or not set boundaries and  

instead act as a people pleaser because seeing  others happy makes you feel safe emotionally.  

The result you may need to reparent yourself,  which simply means you give yourself what you  

didn't receive from your caregiver as a  child, whether it's providing yourself.

Emotional validation or preparing the kinds of  meals you were never offered. Learning how to  

reparent yourself can help heal childhood  wounds and set you up for a healthier,  

more emotionally stable existence as an adult.

Do you want me to

make another lesson where we learn  English with the news? If you do,  

put let's go, let's go, let's go in.

In the comments and of course,  make sure you like this lesson,  

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