I HATE ENGLISH! 12 things that don't make any sense

Rawr.

[Laughs]

Ronnie doesn't make sense.

I don't make sense.

I'm me.

What?

Are you confused again about English?

I did a lesson before about 10 words that are confusing or 10 words that don't make

sense in English, and ever since that wonderful video there's more.

There's just so many of them.

I really enjoy the people commenting about the Polish language, how that's a little crazy.

I'd like to go to Poland, by the way.

And I'm sure your language has crazy things, so I'm back to tell you not 10 more words

that just don't make sense in English, and why learning English is fun but difficult.

So, let's start with it.

We wear on our bottom part of our bodies "a pair of undies".

"Undies" are slang for underwear or the thing you wear under your pants, they're called

underpants, too.

For some reason we wear a pair of underwear, but we only have one section we'll call it,

just to be PC.

But, ladies, a bra which we have two things that we put in a bra is singular.

So, it's like we have two body parts down here and one up here.

Thank you, clothing designers.

Good way to do that.

I don't think we'd want to call them bras.

I just don't get it.

Confusing.

Next one, one of my favourites.

Maybe you don't know this phrase yet.

You're going to love it.

"Take a dump".

So maybe you have heard someone say: "I have to take a dump."

And you're like: "Okay. I don't know what 'dump' is."

Take a dump means go to the bathroom, but you're going number two,

so you're taking a poo.

But you guys maybe know that the word "take" means to actually put it in your pocket and

take it home.

Are you stealing my poo?

So in English we say: "I have to take a dump."

But what we're actually doing is we're leaving poo or shit in the toilet.

So, I think we should change it to: "I have to maybe leave a dump"

or "make a dump" would maybe be better.

But "take", that's just weird.

If you would like to take my poo, I'll charge you $100.

I'll send it to you.

Just write me in the comments, $100.

Maybe if you're lucky, there'll be corn.

Oh, burn.

Next one, you probably heard this:

-"How did you sleep last night, Ronnie?"

-"Badly."

-"Oh, good."

-"How did you sleep last night?"

-"I slept like a baby."

Do you have a baby?

Have you ever had a baby?

Do you know what a baby is?

If you've answered "yes" to these questions, you know damn well that babies do not really

sleep well.

You put them to bed, and they wake up and cry.

Maybe every 10 minutes, depending on the age of the baby.

So in reality if you say: "I slept like a baby"

it means that you woke up in the middle

of the night, crying, wanting your mother, maybe you need to change your diapers, maybe

you took a dump, maybe you're hungry, and then you go back to sleep, and then you wake

up and you cry again.

Sleeping like a baby is not cool.

Maybe you can say: "I slept like an overworked accountant"

or someone who works really hard all the time.

A baby, not a good sleeper.

This is one of my...

Oh god, I hate this one.

"Needless to say".

So: "needless to say" means: I do not need to tell you this,

but people say: "I really enjoy camping.

Needless to say, I like the outdoors."

So if something is needless to say, why are you saying it?

We should say: "I really like camping.

I like the outdoors."

"Needless to say" is just extra stuff that is unnecessary and wrong.

Maybe you watch TV and maybe you are offered a "free gift".

Maybe your free gift is something for your baby.

So: "sleep like a baby" means that you actually sleep really, really, really well.

So, on the TV they're going to say:

"Okay. So, if you want to sleep like a baby tonight, which means sleep really, really, really well,

we're going to give you this free gift with your purchase."

Okay, the last time I checked, if I have a gift, they're always free.

Why would I pay for a gift?

It's like: "This is an unpaid... This is a gift you have to pay for",

not a gift, that's called a sale or a purchase.

So, again, a free gift, it doesn't make sense.

It's a gift.

I'm not going to pay you for a gift.

If you'd like to send me a gift, I'm not going to pay you.

Yeah, okay.

This is awesome, maybe you have been taught this in your English class or someone says to you:

"Can I ask you a question?"

And you think: "Yeah, you just did."

But we have been taught or programmed to say if you ask someone: "Can I ask you a question?"

it's kind of implying that you're going to ask them a question that's maybe a little

bit taboo, which means not cool or a little bit strange, or a question that maybe makes

them feel uncomfortable.

So if someone says to you: "Can I ask you a question?"

you know it's going to be kind

of a strange or personal question, like: "How old are you?"

But: "Can I ask you a question?" you just did because this is a question.

So my favourite thing to say: "Can I ask you a question?"

I say: "No.

Time's up. You've done it. You've already done it."

Okay?

If you speak French, this might make sense to you: Double-vay.

Okay, so double-vay, two v's, double, would be a "v" and a "v".

Okay, but how do we say this letter in English?

It's a double-u.

Well, okay.

Now, when we write sometimes...

When I write double-u's I actually write them with a double "u".

Oh, I'm sneaky.

But in school when I was taught writing or printing, I was always taught: Down, up-that's

a "v"-and then down and up again.

Those to me are two v's together.

So, let's go with the French and call them double-v's.

No, it's a double-u. U, u.

Again, not getting it. Okay.

This one, maybe you're sleeping peacefully, not like a baby. Okay?

You're sleeping like a baby.

And the...

Your alarm goes off.

Hmm. So, you know that in English "off" means nothing happens, stuff is finished.

But in English it's the opposite.

If your alarm goes off, it actually means that your alarm turns on.

So you're asleep. "Beep, beep, beep." Oh my god, the alarm's going off.

The fire alarm goes off.

It should go on, but for some reason in English it goes off.

So maybe it's always on and then it goes...

Oh, I just don't get it.

So, alarms in English I think should go on but they go off.

And what time does your alarm go on or off?

So the alarm goes off and we turn it off.

This is getting worse.

Oh, we're almost done.

Scary, scary, scary stuff right here.

Okay?

The pronunciation of this word, it's actually not "liar", but it should be.

This word is a "lawyer". "Lawyer", not "liar".

Though that's what they do.

[Coughs] A doctor or a lawyer, they go to school, they graduate, they get some patients.

And actually what they do is they practice.

Okay, if I have a doctor, which I do-hi, doctor-and he's practicing on me, this does not make

me feel secure.

Okay? I think if I have a problem with my body, I don't want someone to practice about this.

I want someone that knows what they're doing.

So lawyers, again, they're practicing law.

They're... I guess they're practicing lying.

That makes sense, then.

Okay, so doctors practice lying to win...

Money, okay, good.

So the doctor thing, I'm still not down with that.

I still don't get it.

So, please, doctor, don't practice on me.

Please just give me some health.

This is fun.

This is a noun when we look at it.

Now, it can be a verb, but the way we're using it is a noun.

So I am right now in a building.

"Building" implies the noun in the present continuous form that something is being done.

So, a building, it's already been built, so why is it in the present continuous or the

present progressive?

It should be just called a build or a built.

English, will it ever stop?

And last one, my favourite.

Actually, I do love chicken fingers.

This came from when I was a child, and that was a long time ago.

One of my favourite things to eat in a pub or a restaurant are "chicken fingers".

Yes.

And if you've never been to a restaurant that has chicken fingers, you've now got homework.

Chicken fingers are not actually anything to do with chicken's feet...

Chickens don't have hands to begin with, they have wings.

In a restaurant you can get chicken wings, but they don't have fingers.

Now, chicken have feet and probably maybe in your country you eat chicken feet soup-delicious-or

you just eat chicken feet as a snack.

But somehow geniuses have decided that chicken fingers, chicken's fingers are going to be food.

Chicken fingers are pieces of chicken that's breaded, which means there's a coating on

it like panko and fried.

They're pretty delicious.

So you can go to a restaurant and you can order chicken fingers.

Knowing fair well that chickens do not even have hands...

And maybe just to help your brain, you're going to get some chicken wings, they are

also very delicious.

So, you've got a lot of homework.

You're going to send me money and I will send you my dump.

You're going to go to the restaurant, and eat chicken fingers and chicken wings.

And you're going to turn your alarm off.

Til later, I'm out of here.

This is crazy.