The STRANGE & FREAKY history of Valentine's Day!

126,409 views ・ 2017-02-14

English with Ronnie


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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Rawr.
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Happy Valentine's Day.
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Yeah, okay.
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This will make sense to you.
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My name's Ronnie, I'm a lion, and I'm here to teach you about Valentine's Day,
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the day of love.
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The day where, ladies, you get really upset because you think your boyfriend or your husband
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doesn't like you because he didn't buy you something really expensive like a ring, or
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he didn't buy you what you wanted, but you never told him what you wanted, and then you
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don't talk to him and then you get into a fight.
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Happy Valentine's Day.
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That doesn't make sense, just like me wearing a lion costume.
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I'm going to explain to you guys the history of Valentine's Day.
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I will never understand why people get so upset on Valentine's Day, because guess what?
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If a guy likes you it's not about buying you gifts, it's about being with you and spending
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time with you.
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Ladies, give your guys a break. Yeah?
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Enjoy their company, have a nice dinner, go out and kill people or something.
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Celebrate Valentine's Day.
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Go and get whipped with blood or something in animal skins, okay?
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Because that's how we really celebrate Valentine's Day.
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So, guys, if you've got a girlfriend that gets angry because you don't buy her the right thing,
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good luck with that.
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Maybe you could be executed and that would be better.
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Maybe Valentine's Day is about being executed.
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Maybe that makes it easier and better.
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Let's go into the history of Valentine's Day.
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So, Valentine's Day, wow.
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When I researched this, what a lot of crazy stories.
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Meow.
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Don't understand.
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We're going to start with this, though.
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I can tell you when it is.
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Every day...
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Every year it's the same day, it's February the 14th.
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Okay?
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So if you're watching this and you haven't gotten your girlfriend a gift, get out,
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go get one.
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Ladies, do you buy your boyfriend a gift on Valentine's Day?
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Double standard, okay?
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So you get upset because the guy didn't buy you a good gift, but what'd you buy him?
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Do men get upset and start to cry, and: "Oh, I didn't get a good gift."
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Yeah, guys probably do.
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Oh, guys.
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So, anyways, Valentine's Day, go.
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Valentine's Day as we know it now, I guess, is to honour a Catholic saint.
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But the thing was there wasn't just one, there were many Catholic saints and their names
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were Valentine.
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Maybe your name's Valentine, Valentina.
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So, the day as we know is to honour Catholic saints named Valentine.
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So there was a really, really special guy and his name was Saint Valentine-see, I told you
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-and he was executed.
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Mm-hmm, yeah, he was killed in the year 270.
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By my lion brain that's a long time ago.
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The reason why he was killed is he would perform marriages or he would marry couples.
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Hmm.
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So, Valentine's Day this guy would marry people and then they killed him.
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Well, this is so romantic.
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The reason why he was executed is because the Emperor or the guy in charge named Claudius II
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had apparently strict anti-marriage laws.
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Okay, now, I didn't live back then.
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I don't know if any of this is true, but this is what I found.
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So, apparently he, Claudius II wanted his soldiers to not be married so they could concentrate
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on killing people, as we do.
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So he reckons that if they got married they wouldn't want to die for him and save their
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country, so he didn't like the idea of love and people getting married, so in the year
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270, apparently on February 14th
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-they have documents of this-they executed this Saint Valentine.
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So Valentine's Day is about execution.
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Done. Okay.
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Now, when I was researching: Why February the 14th?
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So, if we go back before this, the ancient Romans, they celebrated what's called the
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Feast of Lupercalia.
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Okay?
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This was on the 15th of February.
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We've missed a day, there.
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This was a fertility festival.
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A fertility festival means that in the springtime most things-humans, plants, animals-are ready
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to reproduce and have children.
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So, a fertility festival, basically they want people to have sex and have babies.
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That's Valentine's Day.
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Good.
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So, what they did...
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[Laughs] This is cool.
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So these two guys were hanging out in a cave.
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They have names.
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Their names were both starting with "R", and basically their names were Romulus and Remus.
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Okay?
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They're hanging out in a cave with their mother or with a woman, and this woman was actually
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a she-wolf, Lupa.
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So, there's two guys, Romulus and Remus, they're hanging out in a cave with a woman who's a wolf.
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This is cool.
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So, what they did is they would sacrifice...
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So, sacrifice is actually like this.
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Ronnie makes a spelling mistake again.
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They would sacrifice a goat.
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Maaa.
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Okay?
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So, this is so romantic.
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They would dip the goat skin in blood, so they would kill the goat, rip off his skin,
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dip it in the blood, and they would run around the town and they would hit people, men and
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women, with the blood.
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They did this also to their crops.
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"Crops" means plants.
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So they'd take the goat's blood and the goat skin and come over, and give you a little
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whack, for some...
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Gets probably some goat blood on you, and then they'd hit the crops - fertility so that
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it grows. Right?
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So you'd come along, go:
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"Oh, yeah, you're going to have babies now. Look at all the corn."
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Okay, cool.
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So, this is where it comes from.
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So I guess if you got hit with some goat blood that that would mean that that's awesome and
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then you could have a baby.
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Cool.
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Another thing that they would do during this festival is they would put their names in
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an urn.
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An urn is like a big container.
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Fancy container.
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And bachelors...
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Now, "bachelors" means unmarried men would choose a name.
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"God, please don't make it... Oh, it's that one."
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So, the name that they got, I guess they would go on a date or, I don't know, hit each other
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with some goat blood or something.
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I don't know what they did.
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And then they might get married and have goat-blood children. Cool.
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What happened was at this time Romans were pagan, and then as we know in history-still
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happening today now-if you have a different religion from someone else, that's not cool
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so you have to change everything and kill people.
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So the Christians came in, they killed the pagans, and they go:
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"Do you know what? We're going to change this day to the 14th of February.
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We're going to call it the feast..."
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So "the feast" means a big meal where everybody eats together.
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So, the Christians came in and they changed it to Saint Valentine's Day Feast
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around the same day.
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I don't know if they sacrificed goats.
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Probably not as fun.
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They probably just ate some food.
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But when you look back at the history of this whole idea of giving flowers, or candies,
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or gifts to people-hmm, lion's confused-it happened with a really, really, really cool
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author (it's the only book I've ever read that I liked) Geoffrey Chaucer.
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He wrote a book called The Canterbury Tales.
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If you're interested in crazy books about-hmm-sex and violence, read this guy, Geoffrey Chaucer.
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So in the 14th century he would write about lovers, how they would give each other gifts.
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And then in the 18th century people actually started to exchange flowers, and gifts, and candy,
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and cards to people.
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So I guess that's how we got into this.
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I don't know, I kind of like the goat sacrifice thing better.
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I think that's cooler.
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Hey, now I have given you an idea of what to do for Valentine's Day.
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Okay? If you're like:
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"I don't know what to do', grab a goat, sacrifice it, whip people with blood. That's a Valentine's Day."
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There's another really, really famous Valentine's Day story close to my heart, it happened in
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1929 in a place called Lincoln Park in Chicago.
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Not the band Linkin Park, they're terrible.
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God.
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But Lincoln Park is actually a place in Chicago.
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So what happened on Valentine's Day in the morning is seven men were just shot.
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They were all lined up, and it's called the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.
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"Massacre" means many people die.
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So what happened is in Chicago during this time there were two warring mafia gangs, one
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was the Irish mafia and the other one was the very famous Al Capone.
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Al Capone's guns don't argue!
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So, Al Capone set up this really cool massacre on Saint Valentine's Day where he killed seven
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of the Irish mobsters.
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He apparently lined them up against the wall, had numerous machine guns and killed them.
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Happy Valentine's Day.
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Go sacrifice a goat, kill some mobsters, you know, do what you do.
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Just don't complain.
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Rawr.
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