So you're NOT having a baby...

Hi there.

I'm Ronnie.

I've got something to share with you and it's quite personal,

but it's just the kind of gal I am.

I am infertile, so that means I cannot have children.

You're thinking: "Maybe that's a good thing",

or you're devastated that there'll be no baby

Ronnies running around.

Enh, at first I was devastated, but then I came to terms with it and I figured it was

for the best.

But there's these other things called other people, and they like a lot to

ask me questions about it.

So this lesson is from me, and I'd also like to put a dedication out to this to Melanie.

This is for you.

You gave me the inspiration for this video.

Love you, girl.

So, in a normal life process people are born, they get a boyfriend, they get a girlfriend,

they get married, and then-ba, ba, ba, bom-they have a baby.

But sometimes you don't get the baby.

So, this lesson is entitled: "You Are Not Pregnant."

And this is a really big issue with women around the world.

Every country has different ways of helping or not helping women, so if you're going through

this, there is lots of help available.

Stay strong.

You can do it.

We have a slang term for the word "pregnant", we say "preggers".

So, you might hear somebody say: "Oh my god, my best friend is preggers."

And you say: "Preggers? Is that a person's name?"

They're just meaning pregnant.

Okay?

We also have slang terms to say: "I have a bun in the oven."

Oh, well, that would be delicious.

Or: "One in the oven", that means that they are pregnant.

But this is for everyone who is not pregnant.

So, we're going to start with a very, very common term.

Someone might say: "She lost the baby."

And you think: "How could she lose a baby?

They're...

They're going to cry...

It was...

How can someone lose a baby?

They're just... They're babies. How can you lose them?"

They don't mean that they physically misplaced the baby.

It means there was a problem, and the problems might be that somebody...

She, obviously, had a miscarriage.

"Having a miscarriage" means that after a few months into your pregnancy the baby doesn't survive.

So it could be...

We...

We normally say in Canada that after three months of knowing that you're pregnant, three

months is pretty much a safe time to let people know that you're going to have a baby.

But that is no guarantee.

Sometimes we'll have a miscarriage after three months, god forbid, but if somebody had a

miscarriage it means that the baby wasn't strong enough to survive and the baby died.

But it probably wasn't formed yet.

Even more traumatizing than this is if the baby came to term, so maybe you went past

the three months, four months, five months, six months, seven months, and what happens

is you deliver the baby or you have the baby, but the baby's dead.

This is called a "still birth".

So the still birth means that the baby survives for the nine weeks up until you're going to

go into labour and have a baby, but something happens and the baby dies.

And this is...

I couldn't imagine.

Something really heartfelt and tragic.

There are reasons why people cannot have a baby.

As I said, I am infertile, this means that there is something wrong with my eggs and

they're not strong enough to do their magic and their cell reproduction and actually make a baby.

So I had to go to what's called a "fertility clinic".

Now, "infertile" is an adjective, and in slang you can say: "She's barren" or some people

might say: "She's dried up".

Now, these terms: "barren" and "dried up", you guys must understand that these are slang

and probably not really cool to say to the person who is infertile.

If you want to talk to them about it, cool, but it's better to just say they're infertile.

"Barren" or "dried up" we would make jokes with.

What happens when you go to a fertility clinic is many different things, but the first thing

that they do is they put you on fertility drugs.

Now, these are pills or some kind of drugs that you can take to help you in whatever

your problem is.

There could be a problem with your eggs, there could be a problem with the inside of your

body.

What happens after that if that doesn't work is they will inseminate you, so they will

take a sperm and an egg, and they'll put it inside your body and you will grow a beautiful baby.

Now, for me, I wasn't having any of this.

So I went to a fertility clinic, and they said: "Take these drugs",

and I said: "No thank you", so I don't have any baby Ronnies.

To the extreme, some people get pregnant and they don't want the baby.

Now, millions of people have arguments and wars...

Not wars. Arguments and really, really heated debates over this word called "abortion".

Now, "abortion" means that the mother chooses or somebody chooses to actually not have the

baby, so what they do is they kill the baby.

It's the person's choice.

So people like to give other people their opinion on what they think the pregnant girl

should do with the baby.

So, for example, somebody might say:

"Abortion is wrong and bad. You should not get an abortion."

Or: "You should get an abortion, that's terrible."

If you're pregnant, it is your decision.

You have to remember that it's your life and you do what you want to do.

If you want to have an abortion, have an abortion.

If you want to keep it, keep your baby.

In slang, you might hear your friends say this who are boys: "She took care of it."

So, when they say: "She took care of it", this is slang to mean that she had an abortion.

And if you say: "She took care of what?"

that's when you realize: "Oh, yeah, okay, she had an abortion."

In Canada abortion is legal up until a certain time period.

I don't know when it is.

Probably, I don't know, three months, two months, I'm not too sure.

So once again, it's a really, really, really hot topic, which means people get really upset

about it and have really strong views.

So my word of advice to you is: Let people do what they want to do.

You have an opinion on abortion, I have an opinion on abortion.

Keep it to yourself, because you cannot tell other people what to do with their life.

On the man's side, sometimes there's a problem with the boy.

Hmm, yay.

It's not only the girl.

Sometimes the guy has a problem.

So what happens with a guy is he...

He's got or he has...

You can say that.

He has a low sperm count.

Now, "sperm", if you didn't know are...

They're not fish.

They...

Sperm are little things that come out of the boy's penis.

Look at me being a sex ed teacher again.

So, sperm are what the males produce to have a baby.

So the magic of childbirth is the man has the sperm, and through magic of sex the sperm

find their way up and they find the woman's egg.

Yay.

And if the sperm and the egg are strong enough, they will form together and they will make

a baby.

Magic.

But sometimes the sperm are lazy or there's a low sperm count, which means the sperm aren't

strong enough to reach the egg, or they reach the egg but they're not strong enough to reproduce.

So, in medical terms we say: "He has" or "He's got a low sperm count".

Now, as you guys probably know, guys love to joke about their sperm count.

Maybe they don't.

So we have words like: "He's shooting blanks."

Bam-bam.

So, if somebody's shooting blanks it means that they have a low sperm count or their

sperm can't reproduce.

We also say something like: "He's got slow swimmers."

So, the sperm, we say that they swim to the egg.

Hmm, I guess his sperm are a wee bit lazy, and if they're slow swimmers they die before

they get to the egg.

If you're dealing with any of these issues or any of these problems,

please talk to someone about it, and you're not alone in this.

If you have any questions, ask people who know.

People will help you.

That's all for now.

See ya later. I'm Ronnie.