English Vocabulary for the ladies - Talking about your period

Hello there, my name is Ronnie and today we've got a special lesson for all the lovely ladies

out there.

Guys, you're invited to watch to... you might not want to, you might want to.

It's interesting, but I know a lot of Canadian guys are like "No, I don't want to learn this."

But you will have to.

Let me just tell you a little secret guys, if you learn this, you'll score high points

with the ladies.

Okay?

So ladies, gentlemen, this lesson's for you.

For the ladies, today we're going to talk about something that only ladies have, only

ladies get, only ladies don't want.

This is called PMS.

Oh, it's lovely.

PMS means pre-menstrual syndrome, but we never spend the time to say pre-menstrual syndrome,

we always just say PMS, and the sentence is "I have PMS," which means bitchy, and you're

going to say this, "I have PMS, I am bitchy."

What does bitchy mean?

Bitchy means, "Arrrr, don't talk to me, don't look at me, what are you looking at, arrrr."

It means a little bit you lose control and you freak out over the very smallest thing.

It's normal, don't worry, it happens to all the ladies out there.

If it doesn't happen to you, you're lucky.

So, bitchy is another word for snarky, or in a bad, bad, bad mood.

Men, do you know what I'm talking about yet?

Okay, your angel turns into the devil in the course of two hours, yeah, this is what I'm

talking about, PMS and being bitchy.

Another symptom of PMS is being bloated.

Bloated is an actual physical difference in your body, and bloated, by definition, means

good-bye, it means you retain water, so sometimes maybe you've got your favorite pair of jeans

and you put them on and, "Oh, what happened?"

They don't do up anymore, and you're gonna lie on the floor and zip up the zipper, yeah.

This is because you're bloated, you're retaining water, so it makes your body seem bigger.

Don't worry ladies, you're not gaining weight, it's just a normal thing that happens with

PMS, okay.

The other thing that is awful, absolutely the worst thing I think ever for ladies is

cramps.

Cramps are severe pain in your abdomen, so like your stomach, in your stomach area, below

your stomach area, it's called your abdomen or your uterus, and cramps happen usually

the first day of your menstrual cycle or of your period, okay.

And cramps are severe to moderate, so really, really strong or not so strong pain, okay.

You can take medicine for this.

In Canada, I take ibuprofen, there's lots of different names for these pills, there's

MyDoll or lots of brand names, but as long as you get the medical ingredients, ibuprofen,

you'll be set.

Let me write that for you.

I'm not 100% sure on the spelling of this, so I'll check with that and I'll correct it

later, but the pronunciation is ibuprofen.

So if you take this medicine, ibuprofen, or the name that we know it as in Canada is Advil,

it will help you with these symptoms of PMS.

The bitchiness, no, no medicine will help you with that, maybe a stiff drink of whiskey

and you're on your way, or a hot bath, but these two can be relieved through ibuprofen.

And the next thing as I mentioned, for ladies only, is the big doctor word, is menstruation.

We never, ever, ever say that.

I don't go to my friend and say, "Hello, I'm menstruating, how are you today?"

It's just, no.

We say the word period, we say, "I have my period."

And then the men go, "Okay, yeah, fine, bye," and the girls go, "Oh," they make that face

like, "Oh, I'm so sorry, do you need some ibuprofen?"

In slang, in Canada, you will hear people say, "On the rag," they'll say, "Oh, don't

talk to me, I'm bitchy, I'm on the rag."

This means, "I'm having my period."

In Japanese, "Seri no toki," this is it, this is it, this is what you want to say.

In Korea, I believe you guys say, "Magic time!"

It sure is magic, isn't it, ladies?

Okay, the next one is labeled as feminine products.

This is the commercials that you watch on TV and the men go to the toilet or just disappear

all of a sudden.

And there's always this mysterious blue liquid that they're pouring on these things and you're

like, "Oh, okay, blue liquid, perfect."

Feminine products is what they're known as.

We call them pads or tampons.

If you go to a toilet in Canada, there'll be a box on the wall of the stall that says,

"Napkins."

When I was a little girl, I remember going to the toilet and I saw this thing that said

"Napkins."

I was like, "Mommy, what's that for?"

And she said, "I'll tell you when you're older."

"No, but Mom, can you tell me now, please?

I really want to know."

She said, "No, I'll tell you when you're older."

So I remember I went back to the table and I actually got the napkin that I used to wash

my face with and I went to the toilet and I put it in the thing.

And I went back to the table and I said, "What are you doing?

Where did you go?"

I said, "I put my napkin in the napkin dispository."

And she's like, "Oh, okay, good."

I think she went and got it.

It was a beautiful cloth napkin, too.

Expensive restaurant.

So, yeah, these are not actually for your face things that you use at the table.

This is actually a pad.

The other thing that is common in feminine products are tampons.

Now, a pad is a pad.

I'm going to try and draw a pad for you.

So I'm going to draw a pad for you.

I'm going to draw a pad.

I'm going to try and draw a pad for you.

I'm a really good artist.

Oh, that's pretty good.

And it usually has this here.

And then on TV they put that magic blue liquid here and it tells you about it.

The other one that we use is a tampon.

Now, a tampon, kind of the same deal.

Roughly the same deal.

And it has a string.

You can imagine what you can do with that, okay?

I hope this helped you.

I know that women, ladies, we are not taught this in a regular ESL program, and it's very

important.

It's very important to be able to talk about what's wrong with you, why you're so pitchy

or why you feel terrible.

I can't come to work today because magic time doesn't work in Canada or in different countries

around the world.

You have to say, "I'm feeling sick.

I have cramps."

Ladies, as soon as you tell your boss, "I have cramps," like, "Oh, okay, I'm good,"

and they hang up and you got the day off.

Just a trick for you.

I hope this helped you.

If you have any questions, please, please, please go to www.engvid.com.

Leave a comment.

Ask me a question.

I'll be sure to help you.

And I'll see you next time.

I'm back again with this wonderful thing called a dictionary, and I told you that I'm not

too sure on the spelling of this word, so I've used one of these, and I've looked up

the correct answer.

The correct spelling of ibuprofen is, like so, ibuprofen.

So ladies, next time you're sick with cramps, go to the doctor, ask for ibuprofen, and you'll

be set.

Toodles.