How to Make a Good First Impression

Hi there. Today we have a very exciting but important lesson on these things

called first impressions. Now, how good are you at determining people's

personality? Can you know within three seconds if you're gonna like someone or

not? According to research, I don't know who did the research, but when I was

researching this, they said that people can determine if you're going to like

someone or not like someone within three seconds of meeting them. So much

pressure, but I'm here to help you. So how to make good first impressions? It's

hard, and remember you cannot please everyone. So if you meet people and they

don't like you, that's okay. And if you meet people and you don't like them, hey,

that's your choice. So we have to be careful with our first impressions. First

of all, let's go through some expressions or vocabulary that you're

going to hear people saying. You might hear someone say, "Oh yeah, we really hit

it off." What are you hitting? Why are you hitting people? Okay, to really hit it off

with someone means you got along really well. Like, oh, the first time you meet

them, you're like, "Hey, oh, I like this band."

"Oh, I don't like this band." "No, but I like

this band." "Oh yeah, me too." "Okay, yeah." So you have maybe a lot of things in

common with the person, or I don't know, you hate the same things, like you two.

So that's a good thing. Hitting it off with someone is really good. Good vibes. I

see this all the time now in children's t-shirts, when I go to Old Navy. Good

vibes, man. And this is kind of a really old expression, but if someone, she gave

me some good vibes, whew, it means you got a good impression from the person. The

person was probably friendly or nice to you. They didn't pull your hair or

something when they met you. So the opposite being bad vibes.

Sometimes you meet people, and I don't know, they're a little weird, but not a

cool weird, like a, hmm, a weird weird. Like, you play video games for 36 hours and

don't shower and pee in the seat, don't you? Kind of weird. Like, kind of the

smell, too, would give it away. So, good vibes, bad vibes.

Another bad way of saying this, and this is weird, "She rubbed me the wrong way."

Rub me this way, rub me that... Wrong rub. I don't know why we're rubbing people. So

don't rub people when you meet them, like, hey, you got something there, okay? "She

rubs me the wrong way" means, yeah, bad vibes, not a good situation. Maybe

the person said something that you disagree with, and you're like, ooh, yeah,

okay, I don't want to be friends with that person. Like, someone's like, hey, I

like you, too, and you're like, okay, that person rubbed me the wrong way. Yeah, okay.

Another expression, "to warm up to someone". So, this is kind of when you

first meet the person, you're like, I don't know. They weren't giving bad vibes, and it

wasn't good. It was just kind of like, whatever. But then maybe you meet the

person again. You're like, okay, well, yeah.

And then maybe the next time, and maybe it

takes five times. After that, you're like,

okay, yeah, you know what? I don't mind that

person. They're okay. I like them. Yeah. "I didn't like him at first", so the first

impression, but he's warmed up to me. Okay, he's rubbing you the right way now.

He's warming you up. It means that gradually, you got to like the person.

I've said this before. Please, when you meet people making your first impression,

don't be negative. Okay? When you meet someone for

the first time, especially in a work environment,

let's say you have a big presentation or sales

pitch to do, don't say to people, hey, my name's

Ronnie. I don't speak English. Why are you here?

Remember, you can say things like, English is my

second, or third, or fourth language, or English

is not my mother tongue, but please don't be

negative. Don't put yourself down. I don't speak

English. Well, you just did. So, think of other

expressions you can use to give the person a

really good impression of you. Like, oh, hey,

this isn't the person's first language. Whoa,

hey, that means they know more than one language.

Cool. Here's another expression. It's not what you know-okay?-it's how you say it.

What does that mean? So, you might have all the

knowledge in the world, which is impossible,

but you might know a lot about something. But when you're communicating with people,

when you're delivering your message to people, you might do it in a very arrogant,

which means you think you're better than everyone

else way. So, you're like, okay, like, you guys,

I know everything about this, so, like, I'll just

tell you everything, because you guys don't know

anything. When you're sharing knowledge, especially

in a work environment, you have to let the people

know that you know, but you're willing to share

in a friendly, direct way. You can't be arrogant,

oh, I know everything, you guys don't know anything. Not a good first impression. You

don't want to come across as being stupid, like

saying, I don't speak English. Okay? So, you might

know how to do it, but it's how you react to

people that are going to give you a good first

or last impression. Oh my god. Begin to do some ABCs. Yeah. All right, so next,

let's look at the ABCs of first impressions. Trying to make it easy.

Probably the most important is your appearance.

Okay? I'm not saying you have to go out and buy

$1,000 shirts or expensive jewelry, but try not to have stains on your shirt.

Please take a shower. Smell good, but not too

good. Okay? Don't douse yourself in cologne or

perfume, because a lot of people are scent-sensitive

now. A shower's going to be good. Use some soap,

wash all the bits, don't forget to wash your

feet. Yeah? How you look, how you smell,

important. Your clothes, your hair, do your hair, brush it, comb it, wash it. Makeup.

If you're going to wear makeup, don't wear too much. I don't know what it is now,

but I've seen the trend of fake eyelashes, and sometimes I'm like,

what is that person... What... What is on their eye? Is that a caterpillar? No. Oh,

they're fake eyelashes. Okay, so you're not

going out to a nightclub. You're just... Well,

maybe you are, and that's fine, but if you're

doing a work thing, I don't know, maybe save

the fake eyelashes for the nighttime. Okay? It's

up to you, though. Okay. I'm not trying to tell

you what to do with your lashes, because mine

are blue, so that's cool. But conservative on the

makeup, we would say, or don't wear any, whatever.

Take a shower. Okay? Because the first thing that

people notice about you is your appearance. Unfortunately, people look you up and down,

they look at your shoes, they look at your

clothes, and they will judge. Oh, they will judge.

Oh my god, did Ronnie get a top in Giant Tiger?

Oh, I would never go there. Okay? So, make it very,

very clear to the person that you shower and

you do laundry. Okay? And that's it. We're good.

Behavior. Actions. This is important. It's not how you treat other people, but it's...

that you're talking to, but the other people

around you. So, how you treat others. If I say

this, warm up to someone. Remember I told you

that in the beginning? If I say, you know what,

I really didn't like him at first, but...

Uh-oh. Hold on. I should say I warmed up to him.

Made a mistake there. Sorry about that. So, I didn't like him at first, but you know,

I warmed up to him. When you're going to a conference or when you're doing

a pitch for work, it's very important that you treat everyone, no matter their job,

with equal respect and politeness. You don't want

to be rude to the person that's getting you coffee.

You've seen this in movies. Like, give me a

coffee. Because people are watching you. People

are watching your behaviour. If you're in line

for a job interview and you speak to the person

at the front desk rudely, don't find out about

that. So, make sure you treat everyone with respect

and just be polite. Everyone. Okay? All the time.

Be on time. Now, I'm not good at being on time,

but for a job interview or a sales pitch or

anything that you have to do, if you have an

appointment, try to be on time. Leave an

hour early if you have to. I like to do that.

Your actions will convey how confident you

are when you meet someone. If you, you know,

walk into an office and kind of look around,

don't say hi to anyone, and sit down in a chair,

and whip out your phone, the people around you

aren't getting any confidence vibes from you.

But if you go into the same office, you're like,

"Hey, my name's Ronnie. I'm here for the job

interview. How are you?" You know? You're giving

people good energy, and you're giving people,

"Hey, you know what? I like this one. She's

confident." She might not have any idea what

she's doing, but at least she pretends to be

confident, and that's where you're... You've

got to do it. Maybe you're nervous. Okay? That's

fine. When you're nervous, you do something called

fumble. Fumble means you, like, drop things or,

like, you fall on things. Fumbling is normal,

natural, kind of cute, but try to keep those to a minimal if you can.

I know it's hard sometimes. You trip over

your own feet. I do that. But just, you know,

practice walking at home, maybe. Look at me,

I'm walking. Walk backwards, that's always fun.

Practice body language. Eye contact. I tell you

this all the time. If you want people to pay

attention to you, to like you, to think that

you're confident, two things. Eye contact. Look

at the people. And number two, the magic of the

smile. As soon as you smile at people, they know,

"Oh, hey, hey, this person's happy. Oh, I'm

happy." You can do it as a social experiment.

Walk around your town and smile at people,

and you can see people's different reactions.

We'll get into that in a different lesson. But if you smile and make eye contact,

it's going to be a very positive thing. Smile at everyone. Okay?

You have to see what the other people are

doing. Depending on what country you live in,

some people at business meetings shake hands,

some people are all in with a hug right away,

some people kiss each other, not with tongue.

Okay? Just like one on the cheek, two on the cheek.

You have to see what the other people are doing,

basically. So, if you rock into a job interview

and you start, like, kissing people, that's weird.

Make sure you just kind of shake the hands and

observe other people first. That's a good thing.

The next one, communication. This goes back to

this one, right? It's not what you know, it's how

you say it. So, if your first impression comes off

as you don't really know what you're talking

about because your confidence is low, or you

think you know everything because you're an

arrogant prick, this is not a good impression.

I don't care if it's socially or at a job

function, at a party. Just don't be arrogant with

people. It's hard because you're communicating in

another language, so practice. If you have a sales

pitch in English, it's twice as hard because

you've got to get your target audience, you've got

to get the people motivated and interested, and you

have to do it in another language. So, practice,

practice, practice. Sit outside and stare at a

tree and talk to the tree. Practice what you're

going to say. So, you have confidence and talk

loud enough. Not too loud. Don't scream at the

people. Okay? They're not deaf. Well, they might

be, but don't scream at people. Talk loud enough,

calmly enough. When I'm nervous, I talk really

fast, and it's hard for me, even now, to speak

slowly, but you can learn. You have to speak

slowly, you have to speak in a very calm manner.

And listen, okay? One thing that people do in

a job interview especially is they do something

called "overshare". So, if in a job interview they

ask you a question, answer that question. Then,

whoop, fermez la bouche. That means close your

mouth. Don't give them more information than

they ask. Why? Because maybe that information is

bad. So, also do your research. What's the company

about if it's a job interview or if you're pitching

something? Make sure you know your audience.

Keep a nice, calm pace. Or let's say you're going

for a job at a gym, okay? And the other people

at the gym are hyper and souped up on steroids,

like, "Yeah, I want to join the gym." You have to

mirror the people. If you're going to a work

environment that's calm and peaceful and relaxing,

try and do that. If you're going to some place

that's hyper and like, "Ah, nightclub", try and

mirror people, okay? Mirror others. "Mirror" means

you copy them. Why? It's a strange thing about

humans. If you and I have things in common, for

some reason I like you more, generally. I'm not

saying I, people, because I think people that are

different than me are cool. But generally, people,

if you can find something in common with them

or they remind me of me when I was younger,

you've got a connection with this person, you've

got an in. So, if you can mirror the other person

with their gestures, with their voice, with their

energy level, humans like that. I don't know. Humans

are weird. So, the very, very first impression that

you give people, unfortunately, it is important.

If you need a second chance to make a first impression, you can just say to the person,

you know, like, "That was terrible. I'm sorry.

Can we start again? I was just a terrible day

for me when I first met you. So, let's... Let's start again." But in a job interview,

it doesn't work that way. If you're doing something for business or for work,

you get one chance. So, follow my rules.

Remember, appearance, take a shower, behavior,

don't be mean to people, and communication.

Be confident and get what you want. All right.

I'm Ronnie. I'm out of here. Please don't rub me the wrong way.