How to introduce yourself in a group

Hey, I'm Ronnie.

This might surprise some people, but there's

some things that I really hate doing, and

one of them is introducing yourself.

Another thing is being in a group.

I don't know what it is, I hate being in a group.

You see?

I'm always making these videos, it's only me, there's no group around me, except for

little...

Oh, hi.

It's okay.

Okay.

We're doing a video.

So, one thing that I really, really, really hate is introducing myself in a group.

I hate introducing myself to begin with.

This is cool, but when there's a group of people, I get really nervous, and I'm sure

you do too, especially if you are a shy person.

So, how to interself, interself, interself.

How to introduce yourself in a group.

The leader of the group will say, "Now", all

happy about it, like it's a great thing, "Let's

go around the circle and introduce ourselves.

Ronnie."

Oh, can I escape?

Can I run?

Can I kill someone?

What if I just killed the person?

No.

So, comes to my turn, I will always say something stupid.

I'll say some stupid shit that has nothing to do, or it's very insulting, or...

Let me give you an example.

I was standing in a stupid circle, in a stupid

group, and we had to talk about why we're

interested in salsa.

Not the food.

Okay?

Because I like salsa.

But the music.

It came to my turn, and I said, "I don't like salsa.

I didn't know that that was what this is for."

And after I thought about it, I was like, "Oh, great.

I've just really said something stupid, and

it was just embarrassing for me, but I really

didn't care anyways."

But saying stupid shit usually happens to me, because I just...

"Hi, I'm Ronnie.

Ask me a question."

Okay?

That's a good technique.

Yes.

It's right there on the board.

You're in a group situation, you say, "Hey, I'm Ronnie.

Hey, you ask me a question, and I'll help you out."

But if you have to stick to the traditional

techniques, I've got some do's and some don'ts.

So, first one, please, don't say, "I don't

speak English", because obviously you do speak

English, because you're in a group and you're communicating in English.

I know that you're learning English, that's fine, but if you say to the group, "I don't

speak English", the first impression, people

are going to say, "Oh, well, I'm not going

to talk to that person, because they don't even

speak English, so I wonder if they understand..."

So, please don't say that.

It makes you sound that you don't belong in

the group, and it just brings your confidence

level down.

What you can say, please say, "Hi, I'm Ronnie.

English isn't my first language."

Okay?

This tells the people, like, "Hey, I'm going to make mistakes.

I'm not perfect in English, but I'm trying, and I know at least one other language."

You could say, like, "Oh, English is my second language.

I speak French and Portuguese", or "English is

my third language", or "I'm learning English",

but please just don't say, "Oh, I don't speak

English", because you've just told a lie,

because you can speak English.

Come on.

Second one.

Yeah?

Hmm.

Don't say stupid shit.

So, "Oh, god.

What do you do?

How...

Hmm."

Practice, practice, practice, practice what you're going to say.

If you have to go first, kind of move out of the group and be like, "There you go.

I'm just going to tie my shoe."

But just practice what you say.

Okay?

So you know it's going to be your turn,

you're getting nervous, you're a little shy.

"Hi.

Okay.

My name's Ronnie, and I like mushrooms."

Yes. Okay.

"Hi.

My name's Ronnie, and I like mushrooms."

Good.

Good.

And then eyes are done, next person goes.

Okay?

Make it short.

Don't say a lot.

Don't go into conversations about yourself.

"Oh, my name's Ronnie, and, you know, like,

I really like mushrooms, and, like, yesterday

I went to the park, and I saw, like, a squirrel,

and then I gave him a nut, but he didn't want

a nut."

And you're like, "I don't care."

Okay?

So keep it short.

Don't talk too much.

It's just an introduction; it's not a life story.

One or two sentences is perfect.

We don't...

We don't need 10 things about you; it's just a short introduction.

Your name, something else, but don't be boring.

Okay?

If you talk really quietly, people can't under...

If you talk really quietly, people can't

understand you, and it makes you less confident.

I know maybe you don't have a lot of confidence

in English, but it's okay; you can fake it.

So speak loudly, even if it's...

You're screaming at people, "My name's Ronnie, I like mushrooms and fairies."

Perfect.

Make sure people can hear you.

There's lots of scientific studies that people

who speak loudly, other people seem to think

that they're more enthusiastic or they have more power.

So the louder you speak without yelling, people

will seem to like you more, which is weird,

but people are weird.

And to say a few sentences.

Okay?

One, two, three, max, ask a question.

Great, thanks.

Try and say something positive, something fun.

Again, don't tell them what you can't do.

"Hi, my name's Ronnie, and I don't like karaoke or groups."

Oh, good.

We don't care.

Okay?

Say things like, "Oh, my name's Ronnie.

I really like hanging out with you guys because you're so fun.

I'm looking forward to this."

Perfect.

Try and keep it fun.

Try and keep it positive.

Don't be negative like Ronnie.

Bad Ronnie.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad.

"Brag" or "boast".

These words have the same meaning.

If you brag about yourself or you boast, you're

telling people how wonderful you think you

are.

This is really common.

A lot of conferences that I never go to, a lot of talks, people introduce themselves.

"Hi, my name's Ronnie.

I went to Ottawa University.

I have a PhD in linguistic..."

Nobody cares what university you went to, unless it's a university conference.

Don't...

Don't say, "I have a PhD."

Nobody cares.

You're here to play music.

We don't care about your education level, so be careful what you say.

Don't...

Don't brag about your accomplishments or...

Yeah.

Okay.

"How to make not friends."

Okay?

Be funny.

Be polite.

Yeah, don't look at the floor.

Okay?

"Hi."

This is kind of a rule with, like, with everyone.

When you're having meaningful conversations

with people, try and look bright in the people's

eyes.

If you look at the floor, it means that you're shy and you lack confidence.

If you're looking at the ceiling up there, or the sky if you're outside, people think

you're not paying attention, you don't like them.

You know, if you're distracted, like, looking at the cat.

You want to focus at the people.

It can be difficult, though, if you're in a group, like, which eyes do I look at?

What people...

Focus on the person you think's the cutest.

"Hi, I'm Ronnie."

If it's hard for you to look people in the eyes, you could focus on something that's

eye level.

So "eye level" means it's the same level to your eyes.

So don't look up, don't look down, just kind

of look straight ahead, stare out the window

or something, you know, if it's too hard for you.

If you can, great people skill, look at the people, kind of do a little...

Little room scan, you know.

Hand gestures help, too, especially, I don't know...

People say Italians talk with their hands, but I'm not Italian, I talk with my hands.

If you want to incorporate some hand

gestures, that's fun, give them a thumbs up.

Anything to make you feel comfortable.

I, like I said at the beginning, I'm not comfortable in a group.

I prefer to be me or one or two people, but

there are going to be situations, especially

at work situations, if you're in a meeting, you have to come across as confident.

You have to be on your game, which means a good worker.

People at your work want you to be confident

and think that you can speak English well,

and just be the best person you can be.

So, speak loudly, speak confidently, don't say too much.

Look at the people.

Look at the people, and always highlight the

positive things about you, never the negative.

My name's Ronnie.

I'm an English teacher on engVid.

I'm not bragging, and I'm happy to teach you.

I hope to see you again.

Bye.