How I get out of awkward conversations

Has this ever happened to you? No, don't lie. Maybe you're at a party. Have you

ever been to a party? Or maybe you're having a conversation with someone that

you've bumped into, which means met by chance on the street — hello — and they

don't stop talking. Now, I have friends like this. And sometimes I'm like: "Oh,

do you know what? I have an extra hour and a half." I would love to listen to

them talk because they're fun, amazing, wonderful people. Then there's other

people that, when you talk to them, you wish you had not started the

conversation because maybe they're super boring, or what they're talking about

makes you angry, or whatever. Maybe they're just creepy. Maybe you're in a

bar and someone is bothering you; trying to hit on you; trying to pick you up,

and you just want them to go away, but maybe you're too polite to say anything.

Well, here's where Ronnie is going to help you. How to get outta... and

"outta" is how we say: "out of". So, when I'm speaking naturally, I'm not

going to say: "Get out of. How to get out of". I would say: "How to get

outta". And this is a new word, and you think: "Oh, Ronnie, you spelled

'situations' wrong." But, actually, I haven't. It's: "shituations". So,

"shit"; "shituations" are bad situations, because "shit" means, like,

a bad thing — obviously. Unless you're into that; that's fine, but whatever.

So, how to get out of shituations or bad situations, or, you know... how to end a

conversation. People think it's rude to end the conversation. I disagree. If

someone is yapping at you for ages — which means a long time — and what

they're talking about is boring: "Hey, I... Do you know what? I just can't be

bothered to stand here or sit here, and listen to you anymore; I'm leaving."

Okay? But there are polite ways to do it, and there are more — shall we say —

rude ways to do it. People are... people are worried that they would offend the

other people by leaving the conversation. I disagree. It's your

time, it's your energy, it's your day, so I don't think it's rude. You can do

it in a rude fashion. Cartman, thank you; you can go: "Screw you guys; I'm

out of here." So, basically, he's just saying, like: "Hmm, I'm leaving." I've

done that. I've done that; I was at a party and some guy's: "Ma-ma-ma" or some

girl's: "Ma-ma" — I'm like: "Bye!" And I just leave, because I don't want to talk

to them. Do they care? No. Do they get offended? No. Do they notice? I don't

know. I'm gone. I just don't care. So, please don't think that you have to

stand, or sit and listen to someone yabber on about something, if you're not

enjoying it. It's cool to excuse yourself from a conversation; it's cool

to end the conversation.

One really good technique is... you can use this on the phone, on the internet —

what you can do with people is make future plans. So, let's say you're

talking to your Mom and you're like: "Oh". Your mom's talking to you, and

you're like: "Well, Mom. Okay, so I'll see you, like, tomorrow at seven", and

that automatically — it cues the person — I don't know; some magic — to know:

"Oh, this person wants to end the conversation." But it's never that — I

don't know — obvious. We just automatically, in our brain, think: "Oh,

yeah, okay. Yeah, tomorrow. Oh, let's do it." And then the conversation ends.

It's perfect. So, you're talking to someone; you say: "Ah, you...? Do you

know what? I'll see you at work tomorrow." Like: "Yeah, okay —

tomorrow", and then they forget about what they're talking about, and you're

out of there. You say: "Bye-bye. See you later." This is fun at parties. Do you

have, like, uncomfortable staff parties, or —I don't know — cocktail parties?

Where are all the cocks? And what happens is maybe there's a group of

people talking that you say: "Oh, those are the fun people over there; I want to

talk to them." And you're stuck talking to Chatty Kathy. And here's a great

technique: You grab another victim or person. So, if there's another person

walking by in the conversation, you physically grab them... whoa, careful.

Okay? Don't wanna get assaulted or anything, but you can say: "Oh, hey!

Kevin! Come here!" And Kevin's like: -"No, I don't want to go over there."

-"Ke-... Kev-... Kevin! Have you met Kathy?" and then Kevin's like: "Oh,

God." So, then you can put Kevin there to speak to Kathy. And, you... again,

you can leave. So, grabbing another victim or two. It's always good to have

a group of people come up: "Oh, guys, come here! Have you met Kathy?" And they

all have, but that's fine still. "Oh, yeah, yeah. Come here, come here." So,

then you exit. Exit; enter; exit. You exit the conversation. And Kathy has

another person to talk to, so it's a great technique. I like this one —

mm-hmm. This one, I'm not too fond of because it's like: You actually might

have to see the person again, so be careful how you use that one. Okay? I

use this a lot; I like this. So... and my Mom taught me this; thanks, Mom.

Favourite phrase on the phone: "I'll let you go." Go where? I don't have any

place to go. But you're basically giving the person permission to hang up, like:

"Okay, well, I'll let you go now because, you know... we have nothing

else to talk about." And it kind of puts the pressure on them, like: "Oh, yes,

yes, I'm busy. No, I have to go." Probably don't have a plan after, but it

puts the onus, as we say, or the responsibility on them. There's a couple

more phrases like this that you can use. If you make it, or you make the

situation about them. Oh, wow, we're standing outside, having a smoke or

whatever: "Oh, do you know what, Steve? You must be cold. You know... I... I

won't keep you out in the cold too long; that... I'm gonna go inside", and the

person's like: "Oh, boy. I am cold. Thank you." Or, you know... they be

Canadian, and they can say: -"I know, you know... I'm Canadian. I'm not cold."

-"Oh, you must be hot, okay. Well, I have to leave now. Shit, that didn't

work. What am I going to do?" So, you can always use... think about them. You

say: "I won't keep you." That's a perfect one because you're not really

giving them a chance to say: "Oh, no, it's fine". "I won't keep you", which,

"I'm going to keep you in my possession" — it doesn't mean that; it just means,

like: "I'll let you go; I won't keep you. I won't... I won't keep talking to

you", which is, like, you're saying it, like: "Oh, do you know what? I'm not

gonna keep talking to you", and people think that's polite; they're like: "Oh,

cool. Okay. Wow, that's really nice of her." Meanwhile, you're like: "Dodged

that bullet; I'm out here."

If you're talking on the phone, it's a little easier; a little easier. "Oh...

oh, my cell phone — the reception is terrible. Sorry, I gotta go." You can

always blame it on your battery. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry, Dad, my battery's

just gonna di-..." Make sure you hang up, though. Die, right? You go: "di-..."

Be dramatic. People love the drama. So, if you have a cellphone, or a computer;

if you're on Skype, or Zoom, or whatever — and you just want to leave that

meeting: "Do you know what? I'm sorry, my... my laptop battery just died.

Yeah." And the next day, and you're just like: "I lost the plug, it seems." Yeah,

that's fine. But, yeah, any excuse like that; any electronic excuse, like: "Oh,

we lost connection; doesn't work." I do this one, and I do it because it's real

and it's true, but maybe if you weren't in the position that I am — make a...

make a mental time limit. So, for example, you're at work and you have a

five-minute break. And you know that a person at your work is super-talkative,

and they're going to talk to you on your five-minute break. So, you go: "Okay,

well, one minute I can stand talking to that person." So, "Oh, do you know what?

I have one minute till my break's over; what did you want to talk about?" And

they go: "Ooh, a minute to talk — perfect." So, you actually set a time

limit. The way that... that my life is, my work is, is that I teach people

online — www.EnglishWithRonnie.com — and I have... how long is it? Fifteen

minutes in between each lesson. So, sometimes I, you know... I have to go

pee, and I gotta get a drink; and my friend will call and go: "Hey, Ronnie!

What's up?" I'm like: "No! I have fifteen... I have twelve minutes. What's

up?" And I know — it's not rude; it's just life, but you can do that, too.

Say: "Oh, do you know what? I'm in... I've... I've got... I've got... I've got

ten minutes before my next meeting." And I say: "I got", which is grammatically

wrong — shh; don't tell my mom. We should say: "I've got", "I have got". I

should say: "I've got ten minutes before my next meeting, and then I have to hang

up. Sorry." But we just say: "I've got". You can say both, but please be aware

that this is grammatically incorrect; but that's how I speak. So, this gives a

person: "Oh, ten minutes. Cool." And you can go over the ten minutes, if you

want, but you've got a time limit. "Ding, ding, ding." Set your alarm.

"Hey, Google, set my alarm."

You can also do physical things, and this... I mean, you could do it on... on

online as well. You could just, like: "Mom." Instead of ending the

conversation, just disappear; just off screen. You know? "Where's Ronnie gone?

Oh, I guess she doesn't want to talk." If you're sitting down at a party, you

can stand up. Yeah. And: "Oh, I guess the person doesn't want to talk anymore

because they've stood up". "Stand up" — past tense: "stood up". You can move;

just all of a sudden, just: "Oh, you know..." start cracking some things

that... People don't like that. I do this often if I'm at a nightclub,

because I go to nightclubs all the time; just a huge clubber. When I used to go

to nightclubs, or if I'm at a band — which I do, honestly — if somebody's

talking to me and I don't want to talk to them, I'm just like: "Okay!" Just

physically turn your back and start dancing, or just like, do like a disco

boogie. "Oh, yeah. Bye. Okay." And just... it had happens; you just leave

and they're just like: "Wow, okay. Okay." Eye contact is very important

when you're talking to people, so if you start to, like, look away — you can look

down at your shoes; go: "Wow! Do you know? My shoes are really cool today.

I'm glad I bought these." If you start looking away, the people automatically

know that you've lost interest. And it's the fine art of letting the person know

that you've lost interest without being rude; unless you want to be rude —

that's fine. Just disappear. But you can start, you know... Oh, well, I've done

this, too — just actually just go. Or you can, you know... start doing

something different, you know... Just, like: "Oh!" you know... "It was great

talking to you guys, but I'm off to steam my clothes right now, so I'll be

back soon."