How I get out of awkward conversations

84,747 views ・ 2022-05-24

English with Ronnie


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:01
Has this ever happened to you? No, don't lie. Maybe you're at a party. Have you
0
1920
7620
00:09
ever been to a party? Or maybe you're having a conversation with someone that
1
9540
5490
00:15
you've bumped into, which means met by chance on the street — hello — and they
2
15030
8730
00:23
don't stop talking. Now, I have friends like this. And sometimes I'm like: "Oh,
3
23790
8880
00:32
do you know what? I have an extra hour and a half." I would love to listen to
4
32670
3540
00:36
them talk because they're fun, amazing, wonderful people. Then there's other
5
36210
4860
00:41
people that, when you talk to them, you wish you had not started the
6
41070
4290
00:45
conversation because maybe they're super boring, or what they're talking about
7
45360
5520
00:50
makes you angry, or whatever. Maybe they're just creepy. Maybe you're in a
8
50910
4200
00:55
bar and someone is bothering you; trying to hit on you; trying to pick you up,
9
55110
5490
01:01
and you just want them to go away, but maybe you're too polite to say anything.
10
61590
5760
01:07
Well, here's where Ronnie is going to help you. How to get outta... and
11
67350
5460
01:13
"outta" is how we say: "out of". So, when I'm speaking naturally, I'm not
12
73440
6450
01:19
going to say: "Get out of. How to get out of". I would say: "How to get
13
79890
5190
01:25
outta". And this is a new word, and you think: "Oh, Ronnie, you spelled
14
85110
4560
01:29
'situations' wrong." But, actually, I haven't. It's: "shituations". So,
15
89670
6300
01:36
"shit"; "shituations" are bad situations, because "shit" means, like,
16
96720
5070
01:41
a bad thing — obviously. Unless you're into that; that's fine, but whatever.
17
101790
4770
01:47
So, how to get out of shituations or bad situations, or, you know... how to end a
18
107340
5910
01:53
conversation. People think it's rude to end the conversation. I disagree. If
19
113250
9210
02:02
someone is yapping at you for ages — which means a long time — and what
20
122460
5580
02:08
they're talking about is boring: "Hey, I... Do you know what? I just can't be
21
128040
3840
02:11
bothered to stand here or sit here, and listen to you anymore; I'm leaving."
22
131880
4920
02:16
Okay? But there are polite ways to do it, and there are more — shall we say —
23
136890
4860
02:21
rude ways to do it. People are... people are worried that they would offend the
24
141780
9090
02:30
other people by leaving the conversation. I disagree. It's your
25
150870
5370
02:36
time, it's your energy, it's your day, so I don't think it's rude. You can do
26
156240
5310
02:41
it in a rude fashion. Cartman, thank you; you can go: "Screw you guys; I'm
27
161550
4950
02:46
out of here." So, basically, he's just saying, like: "Hmm, I'm leaving." I've
28
166500
4710
02:51
done that. I've done that; I was at a party and some guy's: "Ma-ma-ma" or some
29
171210
4800
02:56
girl's: "Ma-ma" — I'm like: "Bye!" And I just leave, because I don't want to talk
30
176010
4590
03:00
to them. Do they care? No. Do they get offended? No. Do they notice? I don't
31
180600
6330
03:06
know. I'm gone. I just don't care. So, please don't think that you have to
32
186930
5010
03:11
stand, or sit and listen to someone yabber on about something, if you're not
33
191940
5340
03:17
enjoying it. It's cool to excuse yourself from a conversation; it's cool
34
197280
4800
03:22
to end the conversation.
35
202080
1200
03:24
One really good technique is... you can use this on the phone, on the internet —
36
204800
6990
03:32
what you can do with people is make future plans. So, let's say you're
37
212420
3420
03:35
talking to your Mom and you're like: "Oh". Your mom's talking to you, and
38
215840
2250
03:38
you're like: "Well, Mom. Okay, so I'll see you, like, tomorrow at seven", and
39
218090
5610
03:43
that automatically — it cues the person — I don't know; some magic — to know:
40
223700
5730
03:49
"Oh, this person wants to end the conversation." But it's never that — I
41
229730
5280
03:55
don't know — obvious. We just automatically, in our brain, think: "Oh,
42
235010
3150
03:58
yeah, okay. Yeah, tomorrow. Oh, let's do it." And then the conversation ends.
43
238190
4230
04:02
It's perfect. So, you're talking to someone; you say: "Ah, you...? Do you
44
242450
3840
04:06
know what? I'll see you at work tomorrow." Like: "Yeah, okay —
45
246290
2940
04:09
tomorrow", and then they forget about what they're talking about, and you're
46
249260
4200
04:13
out of there. You say: "Bye-bye. See you later." This is fun at parties. Do you
47
253460
7530
04:20
have, like, uncomfortable staff parties, or —I don't know — cocktail parties?
48
260990
7620
04:28
Where are all the cocks? And what happens is maybe there's a group of
49
268640
6840
04:35
people talking that you say: "Oh, those are the fun people over there; I want to
50
275480
3480
04:38
talk to them." And you're stuck talking to Chatty Kathy. And here's a great
51
278960
6690
04:45
technique: You grab another victim or person. So, if there's another person
52
285650
5550
04:51
walking by in the conversation, you physically grab them... whoa, careful.
53
291200
4230
04:55
Okay? Don't wanna get assaulted or anything, but you can say: "Oh, hey!
54
295610
5040
05:00
Kevin! Come here!" And Kevin's like: -"No, I don't want to go over there."
55
300650
3720
05:04
-"Ke-... Kev-... Kevin! Have you met Kathy?" and then Kevin's like: "Oh,
56
304400
4350
05:08
God." So, then you can put Kevin there to speak to Kathy. And, you... again,
57
308780
6270
05:15
you can leave. So, grabbing another victim or two. It's always good to have
58
315050
4200
05:19
a group of people come up: "Oh, guys, come here! Have you met Kathy?" And they
59
319250
3930
05:23
all have, but that's fine still. "Oh, yeah, yeah. Come here, come here." So,
60
323180
4170
05:27
then you exit. Exit; enter; exit. You exit the conversation. And Kathy has
61
327350
5340
05:32
another person to talk to, so it's a great technique. I like this one —
62
332690
4440
05:37
mm-hmm. This one, I'm not too fond of because it's like: You actually might
63
337130
3870
05:41
have to see the person again, so be careful how you use that one. Okay? I
64
341000
6660
05:47
use this a lot; I like this. So... and my Mom taught me this; thanks, Mom.
65
347660
4710
05:54
Favourite phrase on the phone: "I'll let you go." Go where? I don't have any
66
354830
5760
06:00
place to go. But you're basically giving the person permission to hang up, like:
67
360590
4740
06:05
"Okay, well, I'll let you go now because, you know... we have nothing
68
365930
4500
06:10
else to talk about." And it kind of puts the pressure on them, like: "Oh, yes,
69
370430
4140
06:14
yes, I'm busy. No, I have to go." Probably don't have a plan after, but it
70
374600
5940
06:20
puts the onus, as we say, or the responsibility on them. There's a couple
71
380540
4170
06:24
more phrases like this that you can use. If you make it, or you make the
72
384710
5850
06:30
situation about them. Oh, wow, we're standing outside, having a smoke or
73
390560
6870
06:37
whatever: "Oh, do you know what, Steve? You must be cold. You know... I... I
74
397430
5520
06:42
won't keep you out in the cold too long; that... I'm gonna go inside", and the
75
402950
3120
06:46
person's like: "Oh, boy. I am cold. Thank you." Or, you know... they be
76
406070
3960
06:50
Canadian, and they can say: -"I know, you know... I'm Canadian. I'm not cold."
77
410030
6960
06:57
-"Oh, you must be hot, okay. Well, I have to leave now. Shit, that didn't
78
417530
2850
07:00
work. What am I going to do?" So, you can always use... think about them. You
79
420380
4020
07:04
say: "I won't keep you." That's a perfect one because you're not really
80
424400
6420
07:10
giving them a chance to say: "Oh, no, it's fine". "I won't keep you", which,
81
430820
5010
07:16
"I'm going to keep you in my possession" — it doesn't mean that; it just means,
82
436880
2700
07:19
like: "I'll let you go; I won't keep you. I won't... I won't keep talking to
83
439580
3540
07:23
you", which is, like, you're saying it, like: "Oh, do you know what? I'm not
84
443120
4680
07:27
gonna keep talking to you", and people think that's polite; they're like: "Oh,
85
447800
3900
07:31
cool. Okay. Wow, that's really nice of her." Meanwhile, you're like: "Dodged
86
451700
4800
07:36
that bullet; I'm out here."
87
456530
1230
07:39
If you're talking on the phone, it's a little easier; a little easier. "Oh...
88
459380
5136
07:44
oh, my cell phone — the reception is terrible. Sorry, I gotta go." You can
89
464583
4937
07:49
always blame it on your battery. "Oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry, Dad, my battery's
90
469586
4937
07:54
just gonna di-..." Make sure you hang up, though. Die, right? You go: "di-..."
91
474590
5203
07:59
Be dramatic. People love the drama. So, if you have a cellphone, or a computer;
92
479860
5270
08:05
if you're on Skype, or Zoom, or whatever — and you just want to leave that
93
485197
4937
08:10
meeting: "Do you know what? I'm sorry, my... my laptop battery just died.
94
490201
4870
08:15
Yeah." And the next day, and you're just like: "I lost the plug, it seems." Yeah,
95
495137
5404
08:20
that's fine. But, yeah, any excuse like that; any electronic excuse, like: "Oh,
96
500608
5270
08:25
we lost connection; doesn't work." I do this one, and I do it because it's real
97
505945
5270
08:31
and it's true, but maybe if you weren't in the position that I am — make a...
98
511282
5136
08:36
make a mental time limit. So, for example, you're at work and you have a
99
516485
4803
08:41
five-minute break. And you know that a person at your work is super-talkative,
100
521355
5204
08:46
and they're going to talk to you on your five-minute break. So, you go: "Okay,
101
526625
5204
08:51
well, one minute I can stand talking to that person." So, "Oh, do you know what?
102
531896
5337
08:57
I have one minute till my break's over; what did you want to talk about?" And
103
537299
5137
09:02
they go: "Ooh, a minute to talk — perfect." So, you actually set a time
104
542503
4736
09:07
limit. The way that... that my life is, my work is, is that I teach people
105
547306
4937
09:12
online — www.EnglishWithRonnie.com — and I have... how long is it? Fifteen
106
552310
4936
09:17
minutes in between each lesson. So, sometimes I, you know... I have to go
107
557313
4870
09:22
pee, and I gotta get a drink; and my friend will call and go: "Hey, Ronnie!
108
562250
5003
09:27
What's up?" I'm like: "No! I have fifteen... I have twelve minutes. What's
109
567320
4936
09:32
up?" And I know — it's not rude; it's just life, but you can do that, too.
110
572323
4937
09:37
Say: "Oh, do you know what? I'm in... I've... I've got... I've got... I've got
111
577327
5203
09:42
ten minutes before my next meeting." And I say: "I got", which is grammatically
112
582597
5270
09:47
wrong — shh; don't tell my mom. We should say: "I've got", "I have got". I
113
587934
4937
09:52
should say: "I've got ten minutes before my next meeting, and then I have to hang
114
592937
5404
09:58
up. Sorry." But we just say: "I've got". You can say both, but please be aware
115
598408
5203
10:03
that this is grammatically incorrect; but that's how I speak. So, this gives a
116
603678
5203
10:08
person: "Oh, ten minutes. Cool." And you can go over the ten minutes, if you
117
608948
5070
10:14
want, but you've got a time limit. "Ding, ding, ding." Set your alarm.
118
614085
4670
10:18
"Hey, Google, set my alarm."
119
618822
1868
10:20
You can also do physical things, and this... I mean, you could do it on... on
120
620690
5340
10:26
online as well. You could just, like: "Mom." Instead of ending the
121
626030
4320
10:30
conversation, just disappear; just off screen. You know? "Where's Ronnie gone?
122
630350
4020
10:34
Oh, I guess she doesn't want to talk." If you're sitting down at a party, you
123
634400
3840
10:38
can stand up. Yeah. And: "Oh, I guess the person doesn't want to talk anymore
124
638240
5220
10:43
because they've stood up". "Stand up" — past tense: "stood up". You can move;
125
643460
4470
10:47
just all of a sudden, just: "Oh, you know..." start cracking some things
126
647960
4200
10:52
that... People don't like that. I do this often if I'm at a nightclub,
127
652160
5460
10:57
because I go to nightclubs all the time; just a huge clubber. When I used to go
128
657620
3990
11:01
to nightclubs, or if I'm at a band — which I do, honestly — if somebody's
129
661610
4980
11:06
talking to me and I don't want to talk to them, I'm just like: "Okay!" Just
130
666590
3000
11:09
physically turn your back and start dancing, or just like, do like a disco
131
669620
4050
11:13
boogie. "Oh, yeah. Bye. Okay." And just... it had happens; you just leave
132
673670
5070
11:18
and they're just like: "Wow, okay. Okay." Eye contact is very important
133
678740
5910
11:24
when you're talking to people, so if you start to, like, look away — you can look
134
684650
7890
11:32
down at your shoes; go: "Wow! Do you know? My shoes are really cool today.
135
692540
2640
11:35
I'm glad I bought these." If you start looking away, the people automatically
136
695180
4080
11:39
know that you've lost interest. And it's the fine art of letting the person know
137
699260
4860
11:44
that you've lost interest without being rude; unless you want to be rude —
138
704120
4110
11:48
that's fine. Just disappear. But you can start, you know... Oh, well, I've done
139
708230
7200
11:55
this, too — just actually just go. Or you can, you know... start doing
140
715430
3840
11:59
something different, you know... Just, like: "Oh!" you know... "It was great
141
719270
2640
12:01
talking to you guys, but I'm off to steam my clothes right now, so I'll be
142
721910
3480
12:05
back soon."
143
725390
450
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7