8 things NOT to say to women

648,229 views ・ 2012-11-21

English with Emma


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Hi there. My name is Emma, and thank you for clicking. So for today's lesson, we're going
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to look at what not to say to women. So this lesson might be a little bit funny, it might
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be a little bit comical, but these things are true. I've done some research for this
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lesson. I've actually asked many women I know the things that they do not like it when people
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say to them. So what happens if you say these things? You know, maybe nothing will happen.
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Maybe it will make somebody feel uncomfortable. Worst case scenario, for some of these, they're
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more serious. If you're at work and you say some of these things, it could lead to you
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maybe losing your job or having some sort of trouble. So some of these are funny, some
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of them are more serious, but they're all things that many women, so not all women,
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but many women find uncomfortable. So let's get started with this list.
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So number one, pregnancy. So one thing that many women feel very uncomfortable about is
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if you ask them if they're pregnant, especially if they're not pregnant. Believe me, for many
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of the women I asked, this was something that has happened to them, where maybe they have
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a little bit of a belly, maybe not, maybe it's just the shirt they're wearing, but somebody
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comes up to them and says, "Oh, when are you due?" Or maybe they say, "Are you expecting?
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Are you pregnant? Are you going to have a baby?" These are all things you shouldn't
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ask women. Even if the woman has a very large belly, you're pretty sure she's pregnant,
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just in case, this is something that's better not to ask women, okay?
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Number two sort of ties in with number one, weight. So how much does a woman weigh? Usually
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you wouldn't ask a woman this, but there are other things too that a lot of women may find
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uncomfortable. So for example, if you see a woman eating a lot of food and she's a little
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bit overweight, it's not a good idea to comment on this. It's just, in general practice, mentioning
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weight to women, whether they're skinny, whether they're fat, whether, whatever, it's just
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not a good idea. It makes a lot of women feel uncomfortable and awkward.
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Okay, number three, period and PMS. So the period is something that happens to women
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once a month, and for some women, their mood changes during this time. Maybe they get a
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little bit angry, their mood might change, but you should never bring this up, especially
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in a workplace environment. If a woman's angry towards you, maybe there's a reason. It doesn't
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necessarily have to do with PMS, but regardless, you should never ask her, "Are you PMSing?
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Is this why you're behaving this way? Are you on your period?" These are questions that
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you should never ask a woman, especially in the workplace.
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So number four, sweetheart, honey, sugar plum, cupcake. These are what we call terms of endearment.
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So they're ways to show that you really like someone, and usually people say this to their
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wives, their daughters, their girlfriends, maybe their sisters, depending. But these
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are things that you should never say to women you work with, unless you know them very,
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very well. In general, a lot of women, professional women, might take these terms offensively.
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So try not to say, "Hey, sweetheart, can you pass me that file?" No, it's better to just
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say, "Excuse me, can you pass me this file?" So try to avoid these words, especially in
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the workplace.
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Okay, number five, sexual comments. So sexual comments are comments such as, you know, "Hey,
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sexy, what's up?" or "You're so hot." Comments that have to talk about how the woman's body
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is maybe, how she looks, telling her, you know, things about sex. So especially in the
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workplace, this is definitely something that is inappropriate and unprofessional and that
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you should not do. It goes the same with women you don't know. Maybe women you know as well,
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you shouldn't make these comments to unless they're your girlfriend or something like
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that. But in general, try to stay away from sexual comments.
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And a side note of sexual comments is body language. So when you talk to a woman, it's
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important to look at her face. Don't spend your whole time looking at her body while
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you talk to her because the woman's going to notice, and it will make her feel very
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uncomfortable, especially in workplace situations.
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Now in terms of sexual comments and body language, this is one of the more serious things on
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this list. And the reason is, in North America especially, if you make these types of comments
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to women, you can possibly be sued for sexual harassment. So it's something to definitely
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stay away from.
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Okay, number six. "You do that well" for a girl. So we don't know what that is. It could
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be maybe, "You drive well" for a girl. "You do math well" for a girl. The reason why this
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is a problem is it reinforces stereotypes. So what I mean by this is, by saying something
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like this, "You drive well" for a girl, it's pretty much saying, "Girls are horrible drivers.
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You're the exception." And so a lot of women don't like to hear this because, first of
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all, it's not true, and secondly, a lot of women will find this offensive. So even if
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you're trying to give a compliment, for most women, this is not a compliment.
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Okay, number seven, age. Now a lot of women, especially older women, sometimes they're
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embarrassed about their age. Sometimes they just don't want to say how old they are. So
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a good idea is not to ask women, especially older women, "How old are they?" A lot of
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women will either lie, or they won't want to tell you, or it will make them uncomfortable.
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So age is something you should avoid for most women. Although for some women, they really
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don't care. It's better, though, to just avoid this question.
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Finally, number eight, "bitch", "cunt", "slut", "whore". What are some other words? "Skank",
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"hoe". Now these are words that are very insulting towards women. If you listen to certain music,
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you might hear them, maybe on some TV shows, but these words are very, very insulting and
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offensive to women. So first of all, never use these in a workplace situation. You could
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get in a lot of trouble for that, and even just with women in general, they're not good
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words to use. So avoid using these words.
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Okay, so I hope you found my list useful. So again, try to avoid all of these, and maybe
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I'll hear some more good examples in our comments section. So if you're a woman and you've heard
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some sort of comments like these that you found offensive, I hope you'll actually write
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a comment about it so we can even make this list longer. So until next time, take care.
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