8 things NOT to say to women

648,012 views ・ 2012-11-21

English with Emma


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

00:00
Hi there. My name is Emma, and thank you for clicking. So for today's lesson, we're going
0
0
7000
00:07
to look at what not to say to women. So this lesson might be a little bit funny, it might
1
7920
6840
00:14
be a little bit comical, but these things are true. I've done some research for this
2
14760
4200
00:18
lesson. I've actually asked many women I know the things that they do not like it when people
3
18960
5360
00:24
say to them. So what happens if you say these things? You know, maybe nothing will happen.
4
24320
6560
00:30
Maybe it will make somebody feel uncomfortable. Worst case scenario, for some of these, they're
5
30880
4760
00:35
more serious. If you're at work and you say some of these things, it could lead to you
6
35640
4720
00:40
maybe losing your job or having some sort of trouble. So some of these are funny, some
7
40360
5400
00:45
of them are more serious, but they're all things that many women, so not all women,
8
45760
5240
00:51
but many women find uncomfortable. So let's get started with this list.
9
51000
5320
00:56
So number one, pregnancy. So one thing that many women feel very uncomfortable about is
10
56320
7000
01:04
if you ask them if they're pregnant, especially if they're not pregnant. Believe me, for many
11
64000
7000
01:11
of the women I asked, this was something that has happened to them, where maybe they have
12
71920
4240
01:16
a little bit of a belly, maybe not, maybe it's just the shirt they're wearing, but somebody
13
76160
5280
01:21
comes up to them and says, "Oh, when are you due?" Or maybe they say, "Are you expecting?
14
81440
7000
01:28
Are you pregnant? Are you going to have a baby?" These are all things you shouldn't
15
88440
3960
01:32
ask women. Even if the woman has a very large belly, you're pretty sure she's pregnant,
16
92400
6040
01:38
just in case, this is something that's better not to ask women, okay?
17
98440
6060
01:44
Number two sort of ties in with number one, weight. So how much does a woman weigh? Usually
18
104500
6580
01:51
you wouldn't ask a woman this, but there are other things too that a lot of women may find
19
111080
4960
01:56
uncomfortable. So for example, if you see a woman eating a lot of food and she's a little
20
116040
7000
02:03
bit overweight, it's not a good idea to comment on this. It's just, in general practice, mentioning
21
123800
6280
02:10
weight to women, whether they're skinny, whether they're fat, whether, whatever, it's just
22
130080
5060
02:15
not a good idea. It makes a lot of women feel uncomfortable and awkward.
23
135140
4060
02:19
Okay, number three, period and PMS. So the period is something that happens to women
24
139200
7000
02:27
once a month, and for some women, their mood changes during this time. Maybe they get a
25
147840
6280
02:34
little bit angry, their mood might change, but you should never bring this up, especially
26
154120
7000
02:42
in a workplace environment. If a woman's angry towards you, maybe there's a reason. It doesn't
27
162280
5840
02:48
necessarily have to do with PMS, but regardless, you should never ask her, "Are you PMSing?
28
168120
7000
02:55
Is this why you're behaving this way? Are you on your period?" These are questions that
29
175920
4640
03:00
you should never ask a woman, especially in the workplace.
30
180560
5120
03:05
So number four, sweetheart, honey, sugar plum, cupcake. These are what we call terms of endearment.
31
185680
7000
03:13
So they're ways to show that you really like someone, and usually people say this to their
32
193960
5320
03:19
wives, their daughters, their girlfriends, maybe their sisters, depending. But these
33
199280
7000
03:26
are things that you should never say to women you work with, unless you know them very,
34
206280
5000
03:31
very well. In general, a lot of women, professional women, might take these terms offensively.
35
211280
7000
03:40
So try not to say, "Hey, sweetheart, can you pass me that file?" No, it's better to just
36
220120
5640
03:45
say, "Excuse me, can you pass me this file?" So try to avoid these words, especially in
37
225760
4320
03:50
the workplace.
38
230080
1880
03:51
Okay, number five, sexual comments. So sexual comments are comments such as, you know, "Hey,
39
231960
7000
04:01
sexy, what's up?" or "You're so hot." Comments that have to talk about how the woman's body
40
241480
5840
04:07
is maybe, how she looks, telling her, you know, things about sex. So especially in the
41
247320
7000
04:15
workplace, this is definitely something that is inappropriate and unprofessional and that
42
255080
5560
04:20
you should not do. It goes the same with women you don't know. Maybe women you know as well,
43
260640
5920
04:26
you shouldn't make these comments to unless they're your girlfriend or something like
44
266560
3560
04:30
that. But in general, try to stay away from sexual comments.
45
270120
3840
04:33
And a side note of sexual comments is body language. So when you talk to a woman, it's
46
273960
7000
04:41
important to look at her face. Don't spend your whole time looking at her body while
47
281960
5440
04:47
you talk to her because the woman's going to notice, and it will make her feel very
48
287400
3640
04:51
uncomfortable, especially in workplace situations.
49
291040
4200
04:55
Now in terms of sexual comments and body language, this is one of the more serious things on
50
295240
6040
05:01
this list. And the reason is, in North America especially, if you make these types of comments
51
301280
5720
05:07
to women, you can possibly be sued for sexual harassment. So it's something to definitely
52
307000
5600
05:12
stay away from.
53
312600
1880
05:14
Okay, number six. "You do that well" for a girl. So we don't know what that is. It could
54
314480
7000
05:24
be maybe, "You drive well" for a girl. "You do math well" for a girl. The reason why this
55
324480
7000
05:31
is a problem is it reinforces stereotypes. So what I mean by this is, by saying something
56
331720
7000
05:38
like this, "You drive well" for a girl, it's pretty much saying, "Girls are horrible drivers.
57
338760
5360
05:44
You're the exception." And so a lot of women don't like to hear this because, first of
58
344120
4000
05:48
all, it's not true, and secondly, a lot of women will find this offensive. So even if
59
348120
4560
05:52
you're trying to give a compliment, for most women, this is not a compliment.
60
352680
5000
05:57
Okay, number seven, age. Now a lot of women, especially older women, sometimes they're
61
357680
7000
06:04
embarrassed about their age. Sometimes they just don't want to say how old they are. So
62
364960
6120
06:11
a good idea is not to ask women, especially older women, "How old are they?" A lot of
63
371080
5440
06:16
women will either lie, or they won't want to tell you, or it will make them uncomfortable.
64
376520
4560
06:21
So age is something you should avoid for most women. Although for some women, they really
65
381080
4280
06:25
don't care. It's better, though, to just avoid this question.
66
385360
5000
06:30
Finally, number eight, "bitch", "cunt", "slut", "whore". What are some other words? "Skank",
67
390360
7000
06:37
"hoe". Now these are words that are very insulting towards women. If you listen to certain music,
68
397360
7000
06:45
you might hear them, maybe on some TV shows, but these words are very, very insulting and
69
405600
6040
06:51
offensive to women. So first of all, never use these in a workplace situation. You could
70
411640
7000
06:58
get in a lot of trouble for that, and even just with women in general, they're not good
71
418800
5040
07:03
words to use. So avoid using these words.
72
423840
3640
07:07
Okay, so I hope you found my list useful. So again, try to avoid all of these, and maybe
73
427480
7000
07:18
I'll hear some more good examples in our comments section. So if you're a woman and you've heard
74
438640
7000
07:26
some sort of comments like these that you found offensive, I hope you'll actually write
75
446160
4360
07:30
a comment about it so we can even make this list longer. So until next time, take care.
76
450520
7000

Original video on YouTube.com
About this website

This site will introduce you to YouTube videos that are useful for learning English. You will see English lessons taught by top-notch teachers from around the world. Double-click on the English subtitles displayed on each video page to play the video from there. The subtitles scroll in sync with the video playback. If you have any comments or requests, please contact us using this contact form.

https://forms.gle/WvT1wiN1qDtmnspy7