How to Ask For Permission in English: CAN, COULD, MAY, DO YOU MIND?

Hi, I'm Alex, and welcome to this lesson on asking permission.

When asking permission in the English language with your native speakers, you're going to

need to know a couple of very, very simple words that are very, very common.

So we have "can", "could", "may", and the phrase "Do you mind?"

Now, we're going to leave "Do you mind?" for a little later.

It's a special case.

So we have the sentence here, "Can I borrow your pencil?", "Could I borrow your pencil?",

"May I borrow your pencil?"

Now, when you use each of these three words, it's going to depend on a few things.

Number one, how polite do you want to be?

Number two, how formal do you want to be, or how formal is the situation?

How well do you know the person that you're asking permission for?

And finally, what is the necessity?

How badly do you need the pencil, in this case?

So let's start with "can".

We have "Can I borrow your pencil?"

Now, depending on the tone you use when asking for the pencil, you can come across in many

different ways the person that you're asking this question to.

So if you ask, "Can I borrow your pencil?", it sounds very urgent.

It's like saying, "I'm really not asking you if you can give it to me, I'm asking it more

so as a formality, you're going to give me your pencil."

That's what "can" does, okay?

"Could I borrow your pencil?", "Could I borrow your pencil?", leaves some room for possibility.

You can say "yes", you can say "no", maybe they need their pencil, who knows?

Now "may I", "May I borrow your pencil?"

This is the most polite way of asking someone for permission.

It is also the most formally recognized way in the English language.

Again, it does come down to tone though, if you ask, "May I borrow your pencil?"

A lot different than saying, "May I borrow your pencil?"

So again, the tone counts.

Okay, finally we have "Do you mind?"

"Do you mind?"

It's even more polite than "may".

"Do you mind?" is used when you think that you're going to be inconveniencing someone

to be through your actions.

So if we ask, "Do you mind if I borrow your pencil?", just give me one moment, "Do you

mind if I borrow your pencil?"

You're not really looking to disturb the person too much, okay?

You feel that your actions or you asking them for the pencil might be inconveniencing them

in some way.

So again, if you're asking, "Can I borrow your pencil?" versus "Do you mind if I borrow

your pencil?"

"Can I" means "I want it", okay?

"Do you mind if" says, "I hope I'm not causing you too much trouble."

Now, there's a very, very special thing to know about asking "Do you mind?" and actually

answering to "Do you mind?"

So if I ask you, "Do you mind if I borrow your pencil?" and you say, "No."

That is a negative response, right?

"No."

You would think that means, "No, I can't give you my pencil."

In fact, what you're saying is giving them permission to use your pencil.

So if you ask, "Do you mind if I borrow your pencil?" and I say, "No, I don't mind."

That means, "Here, you can use my pencil."

However, if you ask me, "Do you mind if I borrow your pencil?" and I say, "Yes."

It means, "I have a problem with that, and I'm not going to give you my pencil."

Okay, so again, it depends on the formality, the necessity, and the politeness that you

want to use, depending on which word you choose when asking for permission.

So I hope this helps you out a bit, and thank you for listening.

Again, for more videos, please check out www.engvid.com.

My name is Alex, and I'll see you later.

Take care.