English Small Talk: Start Conversations Easily

- How do you start a conversation in English?

Well, if you want to learn some natural English small talk

so that you can start conversations easily,

you're in the right place.

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Hello, this is Keith from the YouTube channel,

English Speaking Success, and I also run the website,

The Keith Speaking Academy.

And I'm here, why am I here?

Oh, yes, I'm here, well, not only to help you study English,

but also I really want to help you speak better English

and become a better communicator in English.

Yes, that's what I would like to help you with today

and the days coming.

And I think that's why small talk is important, right?

Because when we meet people,

we often talk about unimportant things.

What we call trivial, things like the weather, right?

And this is just a way to break the ice,

or it's a conversation starter.

It's a way to get to know the person better sometimes,

sometimes it's just a way of saying hello, right.

Sometimes it's just one sentence and then bye-bye,

other times you wanna get to know the person better

and find some common ground

that you can talk about and discuss.

So I wonder, what do people in your country talk about

when you meet somebody, or you meet a new person

for the first time?

Let me know, leave me a comment down below.

So in this video,

we're gonna be talking about three typical situations

where you might use small talk,

the common topics that you might talk about,

and I'll show you some natural,

easy to use phrases that you can be using

and putting to action, well, right away.

Also, I have a bonus at the very end of the video,

because, you know, I think around the world,

by and large, people talk about the same things

in small talk, however,

it does depend sometimes on the culture and the country,

there are certain topics that are more popular

and there are certain topics

which are taboo, taboo just means

you shouldn't talk about them.

So the bonus is at the end of this video,

I'm gonna tell you some of the taboo topics

for British people, right?

The things that you shouldn't say to British people

when you're engaged in small talk.

And just before we move on,

I'd like to say a big, big, thank you to Cambly,

who are sponsoring this video.

If you don't know Cambly,

it's an online platform where you can learn English

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and become a better communicator.

I'm gonna tell you more about that later in the video

right now, let's get into that first situation

where we may be using small talk.

Okay, so the first scenario

if you like is parties and social events.

So maybe it's a birthday party or an office party,

Christmas party, social events, you know,

it could be a wedding, could be a conference,

a networking event, that kind of situation

where you're meeting people

and you want to start conversations

to get to know them better.

Now, there may be different things you can talk about.

And I think you can talk about location, about food,

about people, about travel and hobbies

to name a few, probably others,

but let's have a look at each of these in turn.

So first of all, the first one,

when you're kind of wanting to break the ice,

the location can be a good thing to talk about.

Location can be either where you are now

or where you're from.

So for example, I mean, if you're at a conference,

for example, have you been here before?

It's a classic sentence, right?

A classic question, and also, what brings you here today?

Which is nicer than, why did you come here today?

Which sounds a bit, why did you come here today?

Sounds a bit strong.

What brings you here today is much softer and polite.

And of course you can ask about where people are from.

So where are you from?

Where are you from?

And just be careful with this one.

Because sometimes people say, you know,

I come from, well, for example,

I come from China and the other person says,

oh right, I met a woman one from China, Mrs. Wang,

maybe you know her?

It's like, come on, seriously?

And I think what happens is people are so eager

to find this common ground and keep the conversation going,

they say rather silly things, right.

It's much better sometimes just to say, well,

if you've never been there, right, well, oh,

I've never been to China, what's it like?

And that's great because then you give them the opportunity

to talk about where they're from.

People love talking about where they're from

and their hometown.

Okay, location, next food.

If you're at an event where they have put on some food

or they've given you some food or a dinner

or a buffet or a finger buffet,

of course you can say, how's the food here?

How's the food here?

Great, or even, it's a nice spread, isn't it?

It's a nice spread, isn't it?

A spread is a meal because you spread the food on the table.

That's a meal, typically like a buffet.

It's a nice spread, isn't it?

Isn't it is a very high level of English.

This, we call it a question tag.

It is a nice spread isn't it, is quite difficult

to use and many learners of English

find it very challenging to use naturally.

If you can, great.

You'll show you've got a high level.

If not, you can just say, right.

It's a nice spread right.

Next, people.

So you can talk about the other person

or you can talk about yourself

or about other people at the event, okay.

The first thing I always do when I introduce myself

at parties is I keep it super simple.

Hello, I'm Keith.

And I say, my name,

I say my name really slowly.

And that's it because people are not gonna remember.

I mean, you'll be lucky if they remember your name,

but some people go, hello,

my name is Keith's, I'm an English teacher.

I'm from Manchester, and at the moment I'm living in Spain.

and all the other person hears is, and that's it.

That's all they get, so keep it super simple.

Hello I'm, right.

Now, if it's for example,

Matthew's party or Matthew's wedding,

you could say, so how do you know Matthew?

Nice question, and then if you're digging deeper

to get to know the person better, and what do you do?

Even deeper, how did you get into that?

How did you get into that?

Meaning how did you start that work

or that job or that activity?

People love to tell their life story

about how they started a business

or how they started working in a certain field.

That's a great question, how did you get into that?

And if things are going well and you're digging even deeper,

right, you could say,

and what are you working on at the moment?

What are you working on at the moment?

Notice the stress, what are you working on at that moment?

Try.

Yeah, that's great.

And again, people love to tell you

about the projects they're doing,

or what's keeping them busy at the moment.

It's a really nice way to dig deeper into the conversation.

Now you've talked, that's going quite deep.

You may at times want to switch and make things lighter,

a bit more lighthearted, right?

So you could talk about travel for example,

and you could say, been anywhere nice recently?

Been anywhere nice recently?

Great, good.

Been is been, it should be,

have you been anywhere nice recently or lately,

but actually in natural spoken English,

we drop the, have you, and just say, been,

been anywhere nice lately?

Been anywhere nice lately?

You'll see this more as we go through this video,

or maybe you could talk about hobbies, right.

And a nice question for this is,

what do you get up to when you're not working?

What do you get up to when you're not working?

To get up to is to do something in a relaxed way

if you like, right, great question.

Not what is your hobby,

which sounds a bit bookish and formal.

What do you get up to when you're not working?

Try it, that's it, lovely.

So all of these topics can be great things to talk about

when you're at a party or social event.

Right, the next situation is not quite as serious

as the first one.

This is actually much more the kind of conversation

where it's a hello, goodbye.

Right, very, very brief, small, really small talk.

So this may be when you bump into your neighbor,

bump into means to meet by chance or by accident,

when you're maybe queuing in line or queuing in line,

waiting in line or queuing,

maybe at a shop, in the supermarket, at the bus stop.

We love queuing at the bus stops in England, honestly,

maybe it's with a taxi driver or a shop assistant,

just something very brief to be friendly basically.

So the classic here is to talk about weather, right?

So you could say nice day, isn't it?

Nice day, isn't it?

Remember the, isn't it, you could just say, right.

Right, nice day, right.

And notice, instead of saying it's a nice day,

we drop that and just say nice day, nice day, right?

Nice day, right?

Lovely day, right?

Very simple, right.

Or if you're in England, looks like it's going to rain.

It looks like it's going to rain

or drop the it, looks like it's going to rain.

Very simple weather, classic.

You can't go wrong with weather.

More generally, and a very easy question to ask,

but can open up simple conversations.

How's everything?

how's everything?

How's everything?

which is better than how are you,

because how are you, people just say fine.

And that's it, how's everything?

Maybe you're asking about the business.

If they're a shop assistant,

or if it's a neighbor about things in their life

and maybe they want help with something, how's everything?

It's just gonna open up a little bit more

the conversation if you want to.

So that's it, that's brief encounters

for really, really small talk, let's move on.

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Right now, let's get back into some small talk

and how to start conversations easily.

Now the final situation is actually for people

that you already know.

So this could be friends, colleagues, classmates,

and I call this at the water cooler because traditionally,

that's the kind of, it's the way you go for water.

It's where you gather around, chat.

Have a chit chat, bit of small talk, killing time maybe,

but it could be down the pub or at the coffee bar.

And sometimes you're not sure how to start a conversation,

or you're not sure what to talk about.

And while these phrases tried and tested,

guaranteed to work, they're very easy, easy to use.

Try them out, so, first one is this one.

Seen any good films lately?

Notice, instead of have you,

you can just say, seen any good films lately.

Notice the intonation, seen any good films lately?

Try it.

Great, and that is great 'cause most people watch films

and would love to tell you about a film

that was great and they recommend,

or a film that was terrible.

and they don't want you to watch.

Similarly, you could say, read any good books lately?

or been to any good gigs lately?

Been to any good gigs lately?

A gig is just a concert, right?

Have you been to any good concerts lately?

Been to any good gigs lately?

So you can see that formula, you can use it for magazines,

books, concerts, TV, series, all of that kind of stuff.

Okay, next, talking about the weekends, classic,

dead easy to do, what did you get up to at the weekend?

What did you get up to at the weekend?

Remember, get up to is when you do something

in a relaxed way normally.

So that's a nice way to ask about

what they did at the weekend.

You could also ask about the future,

got any plans for the weekend?

Got any plans for the weekend?

Notice I'm dropping, have you,

got any plans for the weekend?

Great.

The weekends are really easy to talk about for most people.

Now you could, again, you could focus

the conversation on work or study.

And again, you could say very simply,

what are you working on at the moment?

Or what are you studying at the moment?

Easy conversations, people can, well,

people often like to tell you about the projects

that they hate, but they have to do,

or the exciting project they're doing

and they really want to, you know,

tell you about and spread their passion

about what they're doing.

It's a nice question to ask.

The final or third part of these questions

is all about, I was gonna say gossip.

It's not exactly gossip.

Let's call it news, news slash gossip.

And this is where, 'cause people love to talk

about gossip, right?

People love to talk about what other people are doing,

new places, new things.

And there are lots of questions you can ask here.

For example, have you been to that new Spanish bar, right?

Or even you can drop the, have you,

been to that new Spanish bar yet?

Been to that new Spanish bar yet?

Have you met the new sales manager yet?

Have you seen the new product we're launching?

So all of these questions about, have you been,

have you seen, have you met, have you heard,

have you read the new policy about,

all of these are great questions

'cause they're talking about recent news,

recent events, finding out or exchanging

your opinions about it.

And it's kind of touching on gossip almost.

I don't really like gossip, but it's a very,

very easy conversation starter, right?

Let's call it news slash gossip.

So lots of things you can ask about, great, let's move on.

Right, and as promised,

here's that bonus, all about those taboo topics,

the things you shouldn't say to British people.

Now, to be clear, right,

this is when you don't know the people at all.

I think these are the kinds of topics and phrases

you wouldn't ask or say

when you're meeting complete strangers, right.

It's just not safe.

Of course, as you get to know people

and you know them better,

you could start asking these questions,

but let's assume this is for people you don't know.

The first kind of taboo topic or delicate topic

is family interestingly, right?

'Cause you may think, you can ask about family, about,

you know, are you married?

Do you have any children, what does your wife do?

And probably 30 years ago,

these would be innocent questions.

But I think in today's climate, in Britain,

they can delicate with strangers, right?

So for example, are you married?

But what if that person has just got divorced

or they've had an engagement that has failed

and you may be touching on a delicate topic?

Likewise, well, what does your wife do?

But maybe they've just lost their job.

They've been laid off, they're unemployed,

and again, that's a really delicate topic

you probably don't want to touch.

And again, what does your wife do, asking me.

But maybe a man is married to a man and they have a husband

and they could feel a bit uncomfortable if you assume

that they're automatically married to a woman.

So these are things that can be delicate

I think with complete strangers,

I would steer away from, move away from this topic

until you get to know them better.

I think otherwise it can be a minefield.

Another topic is age, right?

Generally we don't talk about age,

women more so, but men also possibly.

So the question, how old are you?

Probably not appropriate, right?

And another one around work and salary.

In Britain, we tend not to talk about money too much.

We're not very comfortable talking about money.

So you certainly certainly would not ask

how much do you earn?

Which is an interesting question.

I've been asked that question in a few occasions

when I've traveled around the world

and it's always shocked me and I feel really uncomfortable

talking about it.

So be aware that in the UK,

you may make people uncomfortable if you ask them,

how much do you earn exactly?

Okay, another couple of topics that I would stay away from

are politics and religion, right?

Politics, sometimes you're tempted to say, oh,

I can't believe what your president did the other day.

And maybe you are shocked

by what the president of that country did,

but you don't know if the other person

maybe is a big advocate of their president

and they love their president.

And you could easily offend their culture, their country,

their sense of nationalism if you attack their president.

And likewise in religion, again,

I've had several occasions on my travels

where people have said, hello, my name's Tom,

do you believe in God?

Well, that for me is a very personal question

and one that I'm happy to discuss

with people I know very well,

but with somebody I don't know,

I would find that inappropriate.

So these are some taboo topics and questions,

especially in Great Britain.

That's it, fantastic.

You've done a great job today with your practice.

So we've been looking at small talk,

looking at parties and social events.

Then we talked about neighbors and queuing and taxi drivers,

and also small talk at the water cooler with your friends,

colleagues or classmates.

And finally, of course we were looking at taboos,

kind of questions that you shouldn't ask

if you're in the UK, I hope all of this has been useful.

I hope it's helping you not only to learn English,

but to become an English speaker.

I love for you to change your mindset from being a student,

to becoming an English speaker and becoming

a much more effective communicator in English.

And I think understanding areas of smalltalk

is a small but important step in that direction.

Do remember, subscribe and turn on notifications

to find out about upcoming videos from me.

Do remember to go and check out Cambly

if you really want to become

an effective communicator in English,

go and find a teacher on Cambly,

qualified native English speaking teachers

who can really help you.

There are lots of different plans,

but you can check out a 50 minute lesson for free.

Or if you go for any of the 12 month plans,

you'll get 40% discount, amazing.

Go and check it out.

It's well worth trying, go down below and click on the links

to find out more, in the meantime,

keep practicing, stay safe.

And I will see you just around the corner in the next video.

Thank you for spending this time with me my friend.

See you very soon, bye-bye.

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