How to Overcome Fear When Speaking English - Advanced English Listening Practice - 71

hi there I'm drew badger the world's

number one english fluency guide and it

is a pleasure to welcome you to another

advanced listening practice lesson I

hope you're excited for this one this

should be an interesting lesson well I

try to make them all interesting but

this video in particular and I guess I

say that all the time too i'm trying to

make everything interesting and fun and

hopefully you learn a lot from these

lessons

incidentally if there are any things or

any s anything anything's if there are

other things you'd like to learn or

anything specifically maybe you need

help with you can just comment down

below and let me know if you have any

questions I was also thinking about

possibly doing a live lesson depends on

my internet we'll have to see how that

is but if you're interested in something

like that I might have a live lesson

here on youtube if you'd be interested

do let me know in the comments section

below and all think about doing that so

it might be like a chance for just you

asking questions like a question/answer

kind of thing or anything else if you

have a particular things that you like

to know more about anyway in this lesson

what I wanted to talk about was the

emotions that you feel this is really

more of a lesson for people that feel

nervous about speaking for whatever

reason and fluency is such an

interesting thing really for me because

it's like a tangled web a tangled knot

of many different things that come

together like being able to use grammar

correctly or having good pronunciation

being able to understand native speakers

being able to use correct vocabulary or

native sounding vocabulary when you

speak so you don't have that kind of

textbook robotic kind of way of speech

speaking i should say so all these

things these are the seven fluency

habits that come together and as you

develop them they all improve each other

and help you become a more confident

speaker but what's interesting is that

you can also think about the emotional

side of how you learn when you're

speaking and if you're aware of this

thing what what kind of typically people

will do they get into a situation like

myself i had the same problem so when I

was first starting to speak Japanese and

I was really bad at it

and i would go into conversations and I

wouldn't want to say anything so people

would kind of you know maybe like a

group of people standing around maybe

some other foreigners they also spoke

much better than I did and also we've

got some Japanese people so maybe just

imagine a party and there's a group of

people standing there I'm kind of

listening and not really understanding

everything but being also a little bit

shy so I don't want anybody to look at

me and say hey what do you think about

this and I'm like I i can't speak about

that because i can't speak Japanese very

well so i could feel very nervous in

those situations and a lot of times i

would see a group of people standing

there and I really i would kind of sit

and listen just to practice my listening

a little bit but i would be really

nervous about trying to get into that

situation so even just standing in front

of a group of people or with a group of

people was intimidating for me and I

think it's important that I understand

and I try to help you understand now

with this video that you should really

embrace so to embrace to welcome this

feeling the kind of negative emotions

are the things that you feel that fear

that appears when you're in a situation

where you have to speak or if in kind of

any situation where maybe you're

listening to something you don't quite

understand something the more you

embrace the fear the more you welcome

that and you're honest with that

especially when you're mentioning that

to other people and that's more of what

I started doing as I became fluent so

when I was first doing it the kind of

natural reaction is you feel fear about

okay i don't wanna say anything wrong so

I'm not going to speak I don't want to

miss pronounce a word or show that i'm

making a mistake so I'm just not going

to say anything so this is the path it

stops you because there's no way you can

make progress unless you actually say

something so you have to it's it's a

thing you train like getting into the

gym and build muscle or learning to

practice an instrument learning to play

an instrument so you actually you

actually have to play the instrument or

get into the gym and train if you want

to get muscles or develop fluency in an

instrument so in my case the first step

was kind of just feeling really nervous

about

wanted to speak and so I wanted to

express myself and I think well in

english i'm like a very smart person I

guess I have things to say in like maybe

I can say something interesting in the

conversation but in Japanese when i was

first trying to speak I couldn't say

anything so I was just like I don't

really know what to do and I was just

feeling nervous about that but the

second phase is recognizing ok like let

me think about this and like the the

real confidence comes from it meeting

that you do feel nervous because

everybody does so the one person that

can say all like you have my Japanese is

not very good but I'd like to try to say

something anyway so like I'm feeling

nervous or you can even say you know if

somebody else like let's say you're

talking with them and maybe you might

think you're being annoying by trying to

talk with somebody else i know i felt

that way especially like Japanese

speakers like they couldn't quite

understand what I was saying but I was

trying to express myself anyway and so I

i might say to them like I know like I'm

getting the feeling that maybe you're

you're feeling like a little bit annoyed

by me so I'm sorry about that I'm guess

I'm not apologizing for my language I'm

just saying my intention is not to make

you feel nervous so I mean I'm trying to

express this in Japanese but the point

is either i'm thinking about my own

emotions and just trying to be honest

about them or be honest about my

emotions for myself and then tell that

to other people so i might say oh I'm

I'm a little bit nervous so I was just

practicing that like oh I'm I'm nervous

but I like I own that nervousness

oh WN to own that so i feel kind of a

sense of pride because I by admitting

that I'm nervous I'm able to take the

next step and it's a hard thing to do

now the reason that you should do this

is because everybody knows you're

nervous already it's easy to see and you

recognize it so by not seeing anything

you're not really hiding anything from

other people so you might as well do the

opposite you might as well say oh I'm

sorry I'm feeling a little bit nervous

right now so you don't have to complain

about your language or apologize for

your language ability to say oh I'm

feeling a little bit nervous or again

the opposite

that I was just talking about where

you're describing maybe the emotion that

the other person is feeling so we easily

recognize these emotions in each other

and if we again we can be honest about

that either for the other person or for

ourselves then it's much easier to

explain to that thing or kind of open up

the conversation make it much more

relaxing and comfortable situation in

which speak so in my case when again

that the first step was I was too

nervous to say anything anything but

everybody knew I was nervous anyway so I

wasn't hiding from anything I'm just

standing there like AB feeling nervous

and I don't want to speak but then the

next step is ok i'm going to just I'm

going to own that nervousness and if I

communicate that to other people then

it's going to help me speak much more

confidently and then that's exactly what

happened so after a while I became more

confident about speaking so I feel like

the nervousness I I recognize it as just

a physical sensation in my body okay

like I'm feeling maybe like my chest or

my stomach and I'm feelin myself getting

a little bit nervous and I would just

tell that people say hey I'm feeling a

little bit nervous right now but I'm

excited to be in this conversation into

practice my English or practice my

japanese in that case so you can do the

exact same thing especially if you're

feeling nervous about either what you're

feeling or what you think other people

are feeling so be honest about that and

and try to bring it up as part of the

conversation again either admitting how

you feeling to say hey I'm feeling

nervous or you're talking to other

people and saying oh I feel that maybe

you're you're like annoyed by me i'm not

trying to do that I'm just trying to

communicate with you because I feel I

could like help you do something or i'd

like to learn from you or something like

that and then you'll watch magically how

the conversation changes and how you

feel like much more relaxed it's like

you you're it's like you're carrying a

bunch of bricks and then you put them

down and you can finally enjoy the

conversation much more so when you're

thinking about your conversations if

you're the kind of person that does get

nervous you want to say something but

you don't then owned that nervousness

you because it's not it's not going to

go away until you admit that

it's there and then you can see oh hello

nervousness like there you are ok we'll

buy you know so youyou kind of admit

that the nervousness is there and then

you you make that a point of the

conversation and you can even talk about

that like you can ask the other person

like hey have you ever been nervous

about you know something like that as

well like how did you eliminate the

nervousness and then you can talk about

that actual thing but then it becomes

like not you but your kind of talking

about

it's like you're removing it for you

from yourself and discussing it like

it's a separate thing and then you say

bye to that thing anyway uh think about

that and try to apply that in your own

life so again either for your own

emotions or when you're getting a

certain feeling from someone else about

how they maybe you're thinking or

feeling then you can talk about that be

honest about that and you'll be

surprised at how quickly the

conversation changes and how quickly and

got gets more confident you feel when

you're in conversations with people

well that's the end of this lesson I

hope you have enjoyed it to apply what

you're learning in this and the other

videos in this series as well as

everything else I've tried to I think I

give too much information actually you

can let me know in the comments below if

I'm trying to like teach you too much

try to help you learn too much for me

I'm always trying to learn something new

always trying to improve and if you

apply that same philosophy to your own

life you will notice amazing improvement

and not only your fluency but everything

else in your life will have a gig great

day to enjoy your day do you own any of

the negative feelings of fear or

nervousness or embarrassment you might

have owned those make it a part of the

conversation and you will feel your

confidence growing much more quickly

have a fantastic day and I will see you

in the next video bye-bye to continue

learning click on the link in this video

to download speak English naturally our

free guide to speaking and sounding like

a native English speaker the guide

reveals the three most important kinds

of conversational English must learn if

you want to sound native and will help

you experience instant improvement in

your fluency and speaking confidence to

download your FREE guide on a mobile

device click on the link in the upper

right of this video to download your

FREE guide from a computer click on the

link

in the lower right of this video i look

forward to seeing you in the guide