Do NOT ask these questions! - The English Addict - 272 - 🔴LIVE from England - Chat / Listen / Learn

Doo doo doo doo doo

doo doo doo doo doo.

Yes, we are back together again.

English addict with you once more.

And are you as excited as I am?

Because we are just over one week away from Christmas.

I'm pretty excited and I hope you are as well.

We are back together again.

It's so lovely to have you here once more.

Hi, everybody. This is Mr. Duncan in England.

How are you today?

Are you okay? I hope so.

Are you happy? Are you feeling good?

And I suppose I should also say, please

give me a lovely like if you like what you see, then please say, Mr.

Duncan, we really like what we see.

And you can show your appreciation by doing this clicking on one of these,

we are back and I suppose I should explain one or two things.

My name is Duncan. I talk about the English language.

You might say that I am an English addict.

I am crazy about English.

Let's just say, and I am with you every week from 2 p.m.

UK time talking about English.

We often talk about lots of different subjects and of course we have

you as well on the live chat.

Don't forget to activate the live chat

and you will be able to speak to me.

You can send your text messages on the live chat and of course you can share

your love of English with everyone else as well.

All three are the English addicts and

as I promised during the week,

he is back after having a very busy couple of weeks

performing and it is something that is coming up next weekend.

Of course, we will be building up to Christmas and we will be with you next Sunday,

which just happens to be Christmas Eve.

I'm not joking with you.

And when I say we, I mean myself.

And also

he is back by popular demand.

A lot of people have wanted to see him again.

So today he is taking a rest.

But he's also joining us here as well on the live stream.

Yes, it is Mr.

Steve.

And he is sitting in the corner, or as I like to call it, Mr.

Steve's comfortable, cosy corner here.

He is.

Hello.

Hello, everybody.

Hello, Mr. Duncan.

This is very different. Very different time.

Relax, time, recline ning.

There's no stress. The first thing.

The first thing I should ask Steve, are you comfortable?

I'm comfortable, yes. Well, we had.

We had come with a different chair. This one is fine.

It's a bit of a hard back, but it's better than me standing for nearly 2 hours.

I was getting a bit exhausted with that, Mr. Duncan.

So I've got the live chat here.

Everything is at my fingertips, so you can just scan down and see who's on there.

And all is well with the world and the world of English. Mr.

Duncan So the first thing to mention is the studio is now different.

Mr. Steve has his own comfortable corner looking a little bit

Christmasy in the corner as well, with some lights behind him.

Next week, of course, we will be getting more of the Christmas decorations out

because it will be Christmas Eve this time next week

and we will both be here getting you in the mood

for Christmas Day, which will follow next Sunday.

And I am very excited.

I don't know what you've bought me, Mr. Steve.

I'm sure it's something lovely.

It might be Mr.

Duncan. It might be.

It's been a bit it's a bit been a bit dicey this year.

If you say something's dicey, it means it's a bit risky

in terms of getting presents into the house for Mr.

Duncan without him seeing what's on them or seeing the package and being able to guess.

Because let's face it, a lot of us these days, including myself,

I order virtually everything from online shopping because I hate going into shops.

A lot of people do.

And now I'm back to work again.

These parcels have been turning.

I say parcels I'm giving away the fact that I might have bought more than one present for Mr.

Duncan, but they're arriving when I'm at work.

So Mr.

Duncan has to answer the door to the postman and receive the parcel

that is containing his Christmas present

and and sometimes they arrive, do they not?

And they're not wrapped properly or they're in the

the box that gives away the name of the product

or the brand or something on the outside.

You you have to be very careful when you're ordering online for your partner for presents.

Yes, you do.

You have to be careful because sometimes you might

accidentally reveal the gift to the other person.

I think this Christmas. Yes.

I don't know about you, Steve, but I think this Christmas is being very weird, very strange.

It doesn't feel as if many people want

to actually celebrate Christmas, including advertisers.

So so we haven't seen any real

traditional Christmas advertising.

So it would appear this year that a lot of people maybe they don't want to celebrate Christmas,

maybe they don't feel as enthusiastic as they did in the past.

So it is it is a very strange one this year, I have to be honest.

Anyway, next Sunday it will be Christmas Eve

and we will be together here helping you get in the mood.

We've got everything arranged.

We've got some food coming.

We've got we're having turkey this year.

I'm looking forward to that.

Steve.

Yes, well, we normally have chicken because I just can't be bothered.

The thing is, you can't get there's only two of us because nobody wants to.

Nobody wants to spend Christmas with us.

So it's only ever just the two of us and we never get invited anywhere.

So it's just the two of us.

And it's very difficult to get a turkey

that isn't for at least six people, that always gigantic things.

And you can go to the supermarket sort of Christmas Eve

or the day before, and all the small ones have gone.

And we've done this before. Mr.

Duncan We've ended up buying like a turkey for eight or ten people because that's all that's left.

Well, let's face it, Turkey turkeys are big creatures.

That's right. So

I well, I don't know what's going to arrive.

I've ordered one.

Hopefully it's only a small one,

but if it's not in stock on the day, they'll send a large one.

And I'm not sure if our oven is big enough.

Well it is the main part of the whole Christmas festivity

as far as, as far as I'm concerned, I think the turkey is the centrepiece.

Besides the gifts and all of the children getting excited,

I think the food, to be honest with you, the food is the main part. Yes.

And the thing with Turkey is I mean, I don't know.

This is you know, in the UK, it's a traditional thing.

Everybody has a turkey and you always end up with loads of turkey left

and then you have it on Boxing Day

and then you make a career out of it another day.

Then you have it with something.

You keep trying to come up with ways of using up

the this giant bird with all the meat on that.

You've paid a lot of money for trying to come up with different recipes

that sort of don't make it look the same every time you you have it in it.

So I remember once we had enough for about a week, we had turkey every day for a week.

And it's a very dry meat.

So you've got to do something with it to liven it up a bit.

I shall clarify it.

Mr. Duncan.

We will have a turkey curry one day

and at the sound of that.

And it'll be nice.

It'll be nice.

It's a rather expensive Mr. Duncan.

Then about four times the cost of a chicken.

Yes. Well, everything is expensive this year, to be honest with you.

Everything is so expensive.

I think a lot of people aren't bothering because it's just too expensive to do it.

If I was honest with you. Anyway, enough of that.

We will be talking a lot about Christmas next weekend as it approaches,

and I suppose we should get ourselves in the Christmas spirit right now.

So I'm going to show you some of the Christmas lights

that are at the moment twinkling around much.

Wenlock And I have to say it all looks rather nice.

And then I'm back here with Mr.

Steve and we will talk about what

we are going to talk about today.

Christmas is in the air,

as you can see, because next weekend,

well, it is Christmas Eve, next Sunday,

and then, of course, the following day it is Christmas Day.

We will not be with you, I have to say right now, for those wondering

if I am going to be with you, we will be sitting down, Mr.

Steve having a well-deserved rest

because he has been working so hard, haven't you, Steve?

yes. Hello, Mr.

Duncan.

yes, yes.

It's just it's always busy at this time of the year.

A lot of people say this because everyone's busy anyway, aren't you?

You're so busy if you're working, you're busy anyway,

and then you've got family and friends and there isn't.

You know, a lot of people don't have much spare time anyway.

Then Christmas comes along and it creates extra stress because you've got to fit in

extra parties

at work or you've got to go and buy presents.

You got to think about that.

And it does create stress.

And that build up to Christmas can create a lot of stress for people.

I know it does for me.

And, you know, it's not like we've got a big family anymore or lots of people to buy presents for.

Do you know Mr. Duncan?

You are the only person I have to buy a present For now.

I'm the only person.

Okay. Can I just say that That's rather sad.

Well, guess what?

It's a very cheap Christmas. Guess what, Steve?

You are the only person that I buy gifts for as well.

So that might be a sad indictment of our lives, but I'm not sure if it is.

I'm sure a lot of people are in a similar situation.

So we always think of people going out and buying lots and lots of presents for their family.

But I think mainly it's for kids.

We don't have children in all of our well,

I suppose relatives in our families have grown up,

so we don't have kids to buy things for now.

So I think that's the main reason why.

So I don't think it is sad is it sounds yes,

my sister's children are all over 18, so they're adults are all

got jobs.

So, you know, obviously not buying presents for them any more.

My sister and I decided

a number of years ago that we would stop buying Christmas presents

just because it's pretty pointless because you end up

buying stuff that people don't really need.

And then it either gets recycled or you take it to somewhere where there's a raffle

or it's just a waste of money.

So most people, you know, if you've grown up, you're pretty much buying

anything you need as you go along. Yes.

So yeah, it's

sounds a bit like bah humbug Scrooge, but it's not for that reason.

It's just, well, I've got friends, but we don't buy each other Christmas presents.

We might exchange card, but we long ago

said, you know, let's not do Christmas presents.

It's stressful.

You end up with something you don't like, probably end up with too many chocolates.

So that's, that's it.

I know you don't all celebrate Christmas, but yeah.

Do you buy presents for everybody?

I mean, we saw somebody I know if you've got children or grandchildren.

I was speaking to somebody that we know in one of the shops in Much Wenlock.

I and she's got 12 grandchildren and she's got to buy presents

for all 12 children because I think she's got three or four children herself.

They've all had children And she said

the minimum amount she can spend is £50 on each one.

Yeah, well, she's only working in a shop, so she's not earning a large amount of money.

Can I just stop you there and say, I think there is

a lot of pressure on parents

to buy children very expensive things.

Like, I suppose, for example, would be computer games,

not necessarily the equipment, but the actual games themselves.

And I suppose also clothing trainers

or as they call them in the United States sneakers.

So there are many expensive things and the kids

expect the parents to buy them because they know there is a lot of pressure

from their classmates or their friends to

to have the latest thing or the best things.

So I think there is a lot of pressure.

I do sympathise with parents.

I'm going to be honest, if you are a parent with three kids or a grandparent

with maybe six or seven grandchildren,

there might be a lot of pressure, more pressure on nowadays to to buy things.

We haven't mentioned something yet and that is the life chat.

Can I say congratulations to

and you will be pleased to hear that I have repaired my echo.

So congratulations to

if I can get it to work.

Louis Mendes

is here today.

Louis, congratulations.

You are first on today's live chat.

A round of applause.

But Beatrice and Vitesse were close on Louis's heels.

Pound bearer Olga Valentine Shankar, a lot of people at Christina as well,

probably all went on it much the same time

within a few seconds each other

to take her as well. Yes.

So lots of people went on early.

I've got to say, actually, yes.

Christina said.

By the way, there's some problem with the subtitles, isn't there today?

Now, this is because because YouTube have changed the way they set everything up. So.

So now you have to personally activate the captions.

Whereas in the past it would be automatic.

So now you have to do it physically.

You have to click a particular button.

And today I did not click it because I'm I'm a little busy at the moment.

So that's the one thing I forgot.

But in the past it would just happen automatically.

But now

no. So I do apologise.

But there will be captions later when this is archived

or saved on YouTube, so don't worry too much.

Christina says that and I've noticed this as well.

The bars and pubs are crowded with office workers

drinking pints, commotion everywhere in the evenings.

Yes, commotion every.

Everyone's trying to do things as parties.

And I've noticed for the last two or three weeks if I've been into a supermarket,

because sometimes at lunchtime for my customers in my job,

I provide them with some lunch.

If it's over lunch time so that we can talk and eat at the same time.

And the supermarkets have been so chaotic,

you would think there was,

you know, some some big event coming.

You know, you think that

there was going to be there's a shortage of something.

Everyone's out there manically buying stuff, filling up their shopping basket.

So you would have Steve, you would think the world was about to come to an end.

Yes, that's that's the phrase I was looking for.

I mean, just sort of panic.

You can see in there sort of pushing you and sort of just annoying you.

And you always get that at this time of the year.

So never mind.

Well, didn't we talk about this yesterday away from the live stream?

Didn't we talk about this?

We said, we are so glad because yesterday we went into much Wenlock and the town was absolutely dead.

It was so quiet and we worked out

that many people probably were in the big towns and cities.

They were all buying things for their relatives and doing their last minute Christmas shopping.

So I think that's the reason why.

And we were saying that we are so glad that we don't do that anymore.

We don't feel the pressure to go to the supermarket in Russia round

you can order a lot of your food online and then it's delivered to your house

and of course, your gifts, the things that you buy at Christmas.

sorry. Mr.

Duncan, who would go to a shop at this time of year?

They must be they must be absolutely crazy.

It's too stressful, Olga says.

Why don't you buy a present for your sister?

Well,

we've just decided, both of us, not to do it many years ago.

Because, I mean, you know, you reached that age.

We send cards.

She's got everything she needs.

It's just we just decided enough's enough.

Because the other thing is, we live quite a distance from each other,

so I'm not going to post it.

Is it going to get there?

It's just.

And Christmas shouldn't be about buying presents anyway.

And the thing to remember, Steve, we met up with them last week.

We met up with them.

So we've we've been together, we've had a meal out.

We celebrated.

That's enough.

I've reached the age where, quite frankly, Mr.

Duncan, unless it's for you, I can't be bothered.

We still buy birthday presents for each other.

I'm hoping.

I'm hoping I can put a stop to that one as well. Yes.

So I think so.

I think that's pretty pointless as well when you're in your sixties buying presents for people

because, you know, it's just

maybe I'm just getting old and grumpy and Scrooge like Mr.

Duncan.

It's talking of which Scrooge,

of course, Otherwise known as A Christmas Carol.

There is a version of that on my YouTube

channel where I actually read the story.

And next Sunday, Mr.

Steve will be using his professional acting voice to read.

We will we will have some Christmas poems next week

and also we might read

a short excerpt from A Christmas Carol as well.

So we we will be doing lots of Christmas things next week.

I don't want to do it too much this week because then it will use all of that Christmas energy.

So don't worry, we haven't forgotten about Christmas.

We are in the mood for it, but we will do most of it next week. So.

So we are not using it all up.

Big storms in Argentina.

Storms, Storms.

Yes, it's hot as well, according to Beatrice.

So Beatrice had a storm and Claudia said she had a storm as well.

Lots of rain, stormy weather.

We've had that.

It's gone now, so we've sent it over to you.

Sorry about that.

Or are you sending it to us?

So for a month, for a moment

when you said storms in Argentina, I thought you meant politics.

But that is another thing that as well.

But we won't get into that.

Talking of which we will be discussing a little bit later

on, we are going to talk all about things

that you mustn't talk about.

Isn't that strange?

So we are going to talk about things that you are not supposed to talk about,

which might sound it might sound a little bit confusing.

And to be honest, I think it is.

But all will be revealed later on.

Every week we try to talk about an English subject,

maybe something that will get people chatting away on the live stream.

And don't forget, you are more than welcome to send your messages live as life can be.

Christina says it is sunny in Italy, but it is freezing cold.

We are having quite nice weather at the moment.

Shall we have a look outside the window?

It looks a bit dull outside, but it's not too bad.

At least it's not raining and it is quite mild.

We've had rather high temperatures.

Today is 12 Celsius.

Can you believe it? It's actually 12 Celsius.

It's dry, a lot of cloud around, but it does not.

I have to say it doesn't feel like Christmas.

Well, I've been outside raking leaves off the lawn

because I

don't like to leave them on because they sort of

accumulate into piles and then they rot the grass.

So I've been taking the leaves off.

I've been repacking little bits of lawn that have died off.

And it's been it was very pleasant.

Mr. Duncan It certainly wasn't very wintry.

So I'm not getting much opportunity

to really test out my all season tyres, although can I just say, Steve, next week

it is going to get very cold and we might be getting

some snow over Christmas.

Nothing official at the moment because you know what it's like.

It's very hard to predict.

SNOW So apparently it's one of the hardest things to predict if you are our weather forecaster.

But it looks as if we might be getting a little bit of snow next week.

And of course, everyone gets very crazy at this time of year

as to whether or not we will have snow at Christmas.

So we will see.

Also next week we will be showing you some of the Christmas cards.

We have had a lot of Christmas cards this year sent to us.

So I suppose that is the alternative

to gifts instead of gifts.

I suppose you could also send a card or as an alternative,

you could send a card instead.

So I think that is actually a good idea.

So we will be looking at some of the the cards that were sent to us as well.

Different cultures, of course, to celebrate, celebrate different things.

And they, for example, Mustapha Abdallah,

when they have feasts,

which Christmas is a kind of a feast, isn't it, when you're eating lots of food. Yes.

They give each other money.

You see that I like

because then you can spend it on whatever you like when you give money.

So that's interesting.

So if you give money to somebody, do you expect money back?

It's like when you give a present to somebody, do you give when you're buying a present for somebody,

a friend, for example, would you like to try and spend

the same amount of money on a present you give to them

that they would give to you?

You wouldn't want to you wouldn't want to say spend

£10 on a present to a friend

and then you receive a present that's worth £30.

You would feel bad because they have spent more than you.

So what sort of do you set? Some rules.

So is that the same with giving money?

Do you give money?

Do any certain people give money or

do you expect the same amount back?

How does that work?

Because with presents you have to be able to judge what the other person may be.

You have to think about how good a friend they are,

how much is it worth spending money on?

You make these decisions when you buy presents for people

is that if it's one of your best friends, you might spend more.

But if it's just sort of somebody that's not such a good friend,

but you know, they're buying you one, you might only spend £10.

I don't know.

It's very difficult to make these decisions.

Last year we received a present of a neighbour and it was quite clear

she'd spent a lot more on her gifts to us than we did to her.

So I'm going to have to make amends this year.

To make amends, I'm going to have to compensate

in some of my own make up for the fact that I spent less last year.

Well, this is it.

Well, this is what I was saying earlier about the pressure that's involved this time of year.

And of course, we often see money as being lazy.

So if you give money to someone, it almost seems as if you can't be bothered to buy a gift.

But if I was honest with you, I would rather maybe, maybe not.

Not always in all the time, but maybe sometimes receive money

instead of an actual gift because the gift might not be useful.

However, as we all know, money

always it's always very useful indeed.

Just depends on the cultural expectations.

It's different, isn't it, in different cultures.

So in here in the UK, in the in the

in the Europe and America, it's all very commercial, as we know.

We've discussed this before.

It's all it's all to boost the profits of companies.

It's not really what the traditional Christmas is about.

Yes, but we won't get into that. We'll talk about that.

To be honest, Steve, I don't know what the traditional Christmas is because

there was never really a traditional Christmas because it's always evolved.

So I suppose that is the bottom line with that is that there's never really been

a traditional Christmas because it's always changed

in the commercial side of it has expanded yesterday.

I mean. Yes, I know, I know.

Before it used to be obviously celebrating

Christ, you know, well after the birth.

And then you would families would get together, there'd be events

in the church, you would have meals.

And I don't know if they used to exchange gifts, say, 300 years ago.

I don't know. No, I don't think.

Well, it's all a mixture.

Christmas isn't Christmas, really, when you think about it.

It is a mixture of lots of different beliefs, festivals.

So to be honest with

you, we should be celebrating Christmas in the middle of summer

because that is technically when Christmas actually is.

But it was moved to a neu all of the pagans

who of course were worshipping other things, including

certain groups who worshipped tree.

And that is how the Christmas tree

became part of the Christmas celebrations.

So it is really a little bit of a combination of lots of different things anyway.

And I suppose the gifts are representing the

the gifts given by the three Kings

and and it's all it's all slowly built up over time.

And of course, nowadays, well, even when we were kids, to be honest,

in the 1970s, we are going back a long time.

Even back then it was, I suppose

you would say that it was commercially, it was all about buying gifts.

Olga By the way, says, My

my grandmother or mother says she she gives,

We're all the way, It's gone, disappeared gifts.

my mother in law always presents money to my kids and she doesn't know what to get.

So that's another reason for giving money because you don't really know what to buy,

especially young people, because they're so they're so fussy nowadays.

But there is a lot of pressure when my my mother told me when she grew up,

they just used to get an orange or a pair or some nuts.

Yeah, that.

That was it.

Yeah.

You didn't get anything else. Imagine that. Now imagine.

Imagine your children.

And for Christmas, they wake up and you just give them

an orange or a bag of nuts.

But that's all you know, that's even.

So we're going back, obviously, sort of 80 years.

So the expectations,

spending money and

gifts even 80 years ago was a lot less.

Yeah.

And it's all as we know.

It's also and every year it seems to get more and more.

I mean, this lady I was told we were talking about with 12 grandchildren,

she said that she's got to spend at least £50 on each one.

You know, that that's what, €55, something like that.

So that's a lot of money.

If you've got 12 and you're you know, your main job

is working in a checkout,

you know, you're not on you're only on minimum wage, Right.

So although can I just say, Steve, if you work in retail, you get very big bonuses at Christmas.

As I remember from my time working in retail.

Can I say hello to Patrick?

A nice family meal for Christmas Eve is the best present for me.

Yes, I think so.

I think food, to be honest with you,

I think as you get older, food becomes more of a thing.

It becomes more important.

I would even say that it is valuable

to be honest.

Thanks for that explanation.

Most of

the money is normally given from parents and older

relatives to children.

Children.

So which festival is that or which feast is that must offer?

Please tell us if you wish to,

but yeah. No.

My mother used to give me money because,

well, it's just easier when you get older.

But she didn't really need to give me anything because, you know, what is it?

I mean, I've got everything I need.

Really.

You've got me. How much do you need?

As you get older? You don't.

You don't need.

Well, you don't need.

Well, the thing is, you accumulate things anyway.

As you get older, as you get older, you buy things, you have things, you own things.

And so it becomes harder and harder to actually do that

or to to ask for something or to choose a gift for someone.

I think it becomes harder.

Anyway, we are going to take a break in a moment because I need to drink

some water to refresh my little throat.

We have a very interesting subject today.

Things that you should not

say, things you should not talk about, and also things

you should probably avoid talking about as well.

And there are many subjects and that is what we are talking about a little bit later on.

But as we take a little break,

I am going to let you enjoy the sights of the cute

and lovely cows.

This is English addict

on a Sunday afternoon here in the UK and it's myself and Mr.

Steve.

We will be keeping you company for about another 45 minutes.

Don't go away. Now.

Yes, we are.

Here it is myself and of course,

there he is, my partner in crime. Mr.

Steves, keeping an eye on the live chat today.

I believe it's quite busy because a lot of people want to say hello to each other.

That's one of the things I love about the live stream is it gives a chance

for everyone to actually talk to each other and chat

and and exchange ideas.

And I love it. I think it's great.

I have to say I do quite like the new layout of the studio.

I think. Mr.

Steve, I can't remember the last time I saw you look so,

so relaxed and calm.

To be honest, I'm fine.

I'm fine here, Mr.

Duncan.

It's quite hot and I can smell today's

dinner cooking.

Yes, We're

having a chilli beef tonight, if you're interested,

but yes,

it's fine.

I'm fine, Mr. Duncan. Absolutely fine. Good.

By the way, if you like this, please give as I like to show that you care.

Thank you very much.

That would be ever so nice if you could give us a like.

And then YouTube might actually let someone

find my content that would be ever so nice.

We are with you next Sunday.

Nothing is different for those wondering.

We are with you next Sunday on Christmas Eve.

So I thought it would be interesting to have a look at a subject.

It's a big subject.

So I should warn everyone that this is quite a big subject

and it's one that I think is is pretty interesting

things in daily conversation, things in daily life

that you should not talk about or say.

And of course, moments of time

when we do say the wrong thing or maybe we make a mistake

when we are talking, maybe we mention something that we shouldn't.

So that is what we are talking about today.

We might say that the subject could be entitled

Mind Your Language,

which of course is also a famous television programme.

So today we are talking about things.

You say things you might say, things you should not say.

And there are you might be surprised, Steve,

at how many things there are

that you should avoid saying, especially at the moment.

Now, have you noticed, Steve, people have become

a little bit more sensitive about the things we say?

Yes. I mean, traditionally people,

you know, the common things that people say, yeah,

we're talking about sort of in sort of general what you call polite conversation.

Yes. Maybe with strangers or people

you don't know very well.

Obviously, you there are certain friends that you might have

or family members that you can talk to about anything. Yes.

But even then, you have to be careful.

Yes. Or you might there are certain.

Let's put it another way.

We all have friends or people that we know where

you can almost say, because you know each other,

you can probably almost say anything.

But there's always going to be a limit somewhere.

And in sort of maybe the office

having conversations with people, work, colleagues,

then there are certain subjects that you've got to be careful about because,

well, one, there might upset people, particularly if you don't know their views,

they could be opposite views to you or you might actually get yourself into trouble.

Well, these days, I think these days people are more sensitive.

So even if you know the people very well, even a friend or a work colleague or even a relation,

someone in your family, it is easy these days to upset them.

So that's what we're going to talk about today.

Mind your language.

Here's another phrase that we often use when we are telling a person to be careful.

We ask them to choose your words carefully.

And I think this is a very good guide

for anyone, no matter what the language is

that you speak, you can choose your words carefully.

I think sometimes people don't think Steve, before they speak.

No, I mean, I'm like that.

I tend to drop my foot in it or put my foot in it.

Rather, if you put your foot in it,

then it means you said something

that is upsetting, probably unintentionally.

I've put my foot in it there.

You might reveal something in a conversation

to somebody that that was not supposed to be revealed.

Some of you might be with some people.

A friend of yours is getting married and they've told you he or she told you.

And then you say, but you'll be getting married soon, won't you?

In a group of people.

And they get angry because they they didn't want anybody else to know.

Or maybe somebody become pregnant and you reveal it.

I've put my foot in it.

It means you said something unintentionally that maybe

upset somebody that's giving you a bit of information.

It's not quite the same thing, but but it's it's in the same place.

But I think I think what we are maybe concentrating on

also is offensive things.

Anything you say, you might just say something

very casually to you as the speaker.

It might be very innocent, but if the person you are speaking to,

it might be the worst thing they've ever heard because they they are so sensitive.

So you do have to choose your words carefully.

Be careful what you say.

Now, this probably is an interesting warning because you have to be careful what you say.

And I think this is something that a lot of people do suffer from.

They might not be able to stop themselves.

What how would you describe that, Steve,

if you if you had to make sure that you didn't

you didn't say the wrong thing or

you don't say the wrong thing, how would you describe that

to bite your tongue yet

if you yes, sometimes

you want to say something, but you realise

sometimes you really want to say something or comment

about something, but something in your head is telling you

maybe this isn't the best time or the place to say that particular thing.

Or somebody might say to you, Don't say that.

And then you might say, or somebody might say,

Bite your tongue or you might say to yourself, I need to bite my tongue.

You're not literally biting your tongue.

What you're doing is you're stopping yourself from talking.

Are Because sometimes you want to say something.

You imagine what it I mean, the

the things that tend to upset people commonly.

Do you want me or you?

Well, we're going to talk about. I'm going to drink to that.

But yeah, so we're just talking about the way of expressing holding back.

Sometimes you have to bite your is another one.

Bite your lip.

My leg.

You're literally physically trying to stop yourself from

from talking.

Giovanni makes an interesting comment this week.

I learned a good expression about this.

Taming the tongue.

Yes, Well, yeah, I haven't heard that one.

But if that's used to be used locally

where you are, everyone's got their own way of doing this.

Bite your tongue, bite your lip, taming the tongue or hold.

Yes, that might be it just means to stop yourself

from saying something inappropriate or training yourself not to.

Of course, politicians are very, very good at this.

Yeah, and people in the media

have to have training to make sure that they don't upset people.

Well, I think it's also being able to I think in that situation also,

it's about answering questions or should I say,

avoiding answering questions.

So that is that is one thing that politicians

are often criticised for, that they're not very good at answering

or giving a straight answer, especially when the reply is either yes or no.

A lot of politicians do not like

answering questions with just yes or no.

They like to talk for a long time and then slowly the person who asked the question

has forgotten what the question was, and that is something that does happen.

Here's another one, Steve.

Think before you speak.

And there are moments of time and I think

you've kind of mentioned that

where you might not be able to hold past

saying something.

And I suppose the emotion that I'm talking about and I'm sure you know what the emotion is

as well, Steve anger getting angry when we are angry.

If we are fighting, if we are having an argument,

You know, Steve, and I know that

sometimes we might say things that are hurtful

or mean or just rude.

And it does happen.

It does happen.

We do we we lose our temper and then suddenly we can't stop.

It's almost like it's almost like something is

like taking a cool counter for a bottle

Claudia mentions.

And Louis followed up.

Claudia says Sometimes it's not what you say, but the way you say it.

Very good.

That's a nice sort of that's a very good thing to say, because

sometimes the tone of your voice, which Louis mentions,

I think you meant tone.

Tony, would that would be spam, wouldn't it?

Sometimes the tone of your voice.

Sometimes I've got a tendency to be very sarcastic when I say things.

And that can annoy people sometimes.

Yeah, you can give this. You can give information.

And depending on the way you say it

or the words you use or the tone of your voice,

it can impact at two very different meaning.

You can soften, can't you?

The way you give information with the way that you say it, the tone that you use. Yes.

In your voice? Yes.

Yeah.

Is that anger there in your voice As you say, something is the heightened emotion

because people respond to emotion.

It's an automatic thing

that if the if your tone is

emotional, as you say things, then you will react.

You will tend to be more reactive to what they are saying and maybe take it the wrong way.

And Marco,

thank you for your comment.

Thinks that British people tend to hold their tongues.

Well, we are you are right, Marco,

in that sort of traditionally

you would think if a British person is reserved,

you know, and measured in what they say in the way they say it.

But actually these days,

that's far less than it used to be, I would say.

And also different cultures.

Yeah, people tend to be

maybe, maybe we are still like that generally,

but we are certainly less so than we used to.

And I find as I get older, I tend to say more of what I think now

rather than what I think people want to hear, which is another problem.

Sometimes you say if you're a people pleaser,

you sometimes say what you think people want to hear

rather than what you actually believe because you don't want to upset people sometimes. Yes.

I think that's a that's a very good point.

I was I was listening to a very interesting interview a few days ago

with John Cleese, and he said the same thing as what you just said.

He said, To be honest, as you get older,

you stop worrying about what people think.

And that quite often is reflected

in what you say and who you say it to.

So maybe if you're younger and I think this is an interesting point

to make when you're younger, you're still trying

to to make your way through life.

You are still trying to influence people.

Maybe you're trying to to build up your career

or you're trying to attract a mate to spend your life with.

But of course, as you get older, those things become less important

because maybe you've given up trying to find them or

you just don't care anymore.

You just think, what is the point?

You can go through your life holding yourself back and not saying things

when sometimes it is good to actually say them to express yourself.

So I think you're right, Steve.

I think as you get older, you do.

You do often

you don't sense to yourself so much.

Yes, it's unhealthy. Yes.

Let's have a look. yes.

Valentine talking about sarcasm.

He thinks that's a British trait.

It may well be.

Sarcasm is actually

a way of saying it.

It's a way of saying what you think

without being very aggressive.

Because being sarcastic can be.

You're saying something about something you've actually being rude to somebody

when you're being sarcastic and but that involves

you being it's an indirect way of insulting somebody. Yes.

I suppose without directly becoming it's an unemotional way.

And you can you can say you can say something quite rude to somebody.

Yeah.

If you use

sarcasm, they might punch you in the face if you said it directly to them.

Yeah, but if you say it sarcastically, it's almost that they can't react in the same way

because you need to switch on those emotions.

If someone's shouting at you or accusing you of something

directly, you get very defensive

and then you start to fight back.

But if somebody says sarcasm to you, I mean, obviously sarcasm can be upsetting,

but you don't tend to react in the same emotional way

when somebody's sarcastic, you think that's it, okay.

But the other thing, Steve, is I think sarcasm is a British thing.

And I think that that is a very good observation

and I think British people are very good at sarcasm.

We can do things and say things that are making

some sort of criticism

without actually saying it directly.

And I think that is that is one of the most

one of my favourite parts of communication.

Using any language is sarcasm.

And I think no one does sarcasm better than the British.

I know, I know.

I know.

In the US people can be sarcastic, especially in certain areas.

New York City, apparently New Yorkers

can be quite sarcastic and abrupt and that is just their manner.

But I think the British, I think we are

definitely top of the tree when it comes to sarcasm.

We are pretty good at it. I think so.

I think it's safe to say, here's one, Steve, another phrase, and I like this one.

This is one that I used to use to myself

many years ago to stop me from saying the wrong thing.

The less you say, the more you hear.

And I think this is a problem with some people.

Sometimes people talk too much instead of listening to what other people have to say.

What do you think?

Yes, yes, yes.

I mean, this is something

where I mean, I've been in sales

most of my life and one of the main things that you are taught

is, is to is to what you should be doing

is talking less than the customer.

And I mean, this is a good thing to translate into everyday life, isn't it?

Because yes,

you know what it's like when you meet somebody

who is just constantly telling you, talking about themselves all the time.

You haven't asked for that information, but they start to tell you about, I went on holiday here.

I've just bought this for myself, blah, blah, blah.

And you just think, Well,

why do you think I'm actually interested?

If I'm interested enough in you, I will ask you those questions.

And so I think that's a good way to be, actually.

But then, yeah, it's you.

You, you pick up more information.

If you're not talking, you pick up information about other people. Yes.

And about situations and that that's just social skill.

I think it's knowing when to stop speaking and when to listen.

And as we often talk about when we're talking about learning

English, you have to learn to listen.

And I think in general, day to day life, quite often

the less you say or if you know when to stop

speaking, you can listen to what other people have to say.

And you are right, Steve.

We have had situations where we've been with someone

and they won't stop talking about themselves and sometimes

they will just go on for maybe an hour.

We've had some really weird moments of time I'm not going to say who, don't worry.

But some people that we know and they just talk about themselves

over and over yes, they they they pay no attention

to you as an individual.

You can pick that up very quickly.

Catarina mentions this.

That can happen when

somebody just talks over you,

You're having a conversation and then

you might be saying something.

I've got a friend like this, actually. Yeah.

And and you get into a conversation and you'll start saying something

and then there reply will be nothing to do with what you've just been talking about.

It'll just be something to do with them and you think and it's quite obvious

they'd not listen to a word you say and, and they.

Or they might just interrupt you and talk over you. Yes.

And that's, that's when you're particularly when you're in sales, that's very difficult.

That's a very easy thing for a salesperson to do, is to talk over the customer

because you want to get your messages across

to the customer about your product, but you're not willing

you know, what you should be doing is listening.

what do they want?

What you know, what things will turn them on about this product or not even?

Yes, actually, sales is a very interesting point

because that is that is to me, a skill.

It is a skill.

It isn't just something that you can walk into selling sales calls

to persuade another person to to think about something, not necessarily buy it,

but to at least think about the thing that you are promoting or offering.

And I think it is I think I think selling or any area of sales where you're

you're dealing directly with another person, let's face it.

And it's a massive skill.

People I mean, just in everyday life to to meet somebody

who you're in a conversation with them

and they're actually listening to what you say. Yes.

And then they respond with relevant question as to what you've just said.

You know, they might ask another question which asks for a bit more information.

And that's quite a skill to listen, is quite a skill.

It's Very easy to switch off.

They're talking and you're thinking about the next thing you want to say

and it's, you know, when somebody is doing it to you. So

it's a skill that we all have to learn a social skill

because if you if you couldn't master that,

you know, you'll you'll be invited out everywhere.

Friends are want you because.

hey, someone to listen to me I mean it can't get I mean it can get boring

if you just have to keep listening to other people's boring stories about their holidays or whatever.

Yeah, well, all that gardening, it's got to be two way.

But yes, to listen to somebody and understand them

and then reply back with a relevant question that shows that you've actually listened to.

Yeah, that gained you a lot of respect.

Here's, here's another one, Steve.

I like this one.

So here's another interesting phrase.

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

And sometimes

to be honest, I like

peace and quiet.

If I'm with someone and we've had situations like this, I'm not going to say who, don't worry.

But we've been with people who just won't stop talking.

They have to constantly fill the air with conversation.

Yeah, and sometimes it is nice and we're going to try this now, Steve,

let's try not to speak for about 10 seconds

and you will suddenly feel

as if there is a little bit of space.

So you don't need to constantly talk.

And I know this is an English

teaching live stream, but sometimes.

Steve, don't you think let's do it now.

Let's have 10 seconds of silence.

I have to say I enjoyed that.

It's very difficult.

It depends on if you're a social person or not.

If you're a very social person you would like to chat a lot and talk a lot.

But you're right, it can be very exhausting

if you are used to your own company and then you go somewhere

where there's lots of people, lots of people talking chat, chat, chat, chit chat.

It can be quite stressful.

I do find it quite stressful sometimes when I go out with my work colleagues, we all meet up

and everyone's talking and chatting away and it can become a bit exhausting after a while.

So I have to make a little I have to escape.

That's what smokers do.

You know, smokers, I think, is their excuse.

Get away from the company of people and go outside just to chill out.

And then they come back in the room. Revived, I think.

I think the smoking is actually just an excuse.

I'm a I need to go outside for smoke.

I think actually what you are doing is using that as an excuse

just to escape from everybody in the room, which is a very good thing to do.

Yeah, it's a good theory.

Maybe I could pretend to be a smoker.

Yes, Just. Well, I tell you what you can do.

You can. You can take it vaping.

But just don't. Just don't do it.

Just take the the machine and just pretend to vape.

You see,

so you can get away from other people.

Yeah, I would imagine if they were outside talking, Steve,

they would be smoking and talking so it might be actually worse.

But, but yes, if you, if you have nothing to say,

sometimes silence can be very refreshing.

Or as Patrick puts it, which is a well-known phrase.

So thank you for that. Silence is golden.

That is a phrase that is often used.

Silence is gold or golden. Yes,

because sometimes it is just nice to have

a bit of peace and quiet.

And, you know, it's just of you when you're eating.

I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe everyone's different.

Yes. Thanks.

By The way I forgot to mention.

And it was a comment from

Who is it from?

I can't remember now. Francesca.

Francesca said that sarcasm is in every language.

Yes, I'm. It is. Yes.

And. But would you.

Would you recognise it. Maybe. Yeah.

It's probably in every,

in every language but it's a, it's a, it's passive aggressive

form of, of making, making

a comment about something you might not necessarily want to say directly to somebody.

It is I suppose.

I suppose it is subtle criticism.

Yes. That would be my way of if I had to describe

sarcasm, social criticism.

You are doing something gently. You are.

But I still say that the British are the best with sarcasm, that nobody does sarcasm.

It's like the British.

It's a leakage of your feelings.

You're You want to say something, You really want

to shout back at somebody or tell them they're an idiot or something like that.

But of course, that's not a British way of doing it or your whatever your culture is.

So you just say something sarcastic back to and it's what you're doing.

Is it your real feelings are leaking out or you're trying or it's an ego thing

Because I mean, it's a sarcastic comment to somebody can be the most

cutting put down.

Yes, the most offensive, but said in a very subtle way, Yes.

It can really put somebody down. Yes.

And make them feel and look stupid if you do it.

And they often say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Well, there are two expressions.

The sarcasm and the SA tonic.

Yeah, sardonic and sardonic.

It was sarcasm. Is it?

You're saying something offensive, but sardonic.

Is. Is it.

I think it's the same thing.

But it's not offensive. No, it's kind.

Which you're being sarcastic.

You are really trying to hurt somebody.

A dry response or

a dry retort is sardonic.

Sarcasm is where you're actually putting the syntax into what you are saying.

I mean, they of course, the tone of it as well.

You are really trying to be offensive.

Some people have a very dry sense of humour, another one, another expression,

an empty vessel makes more noise.

A person who has nothing up

here in their brain will often talk a lot.

And that's another expression, an empty vessel, something with nothing inside

empty like a person's head.

I'm Very sarcastic. I remember.

I must have always been sarcastic because.

Because I find it difficult to say what I really thinking.

So it leaks out in sarcasm.

In conversations it can be quite nasty.

I remember once

you don't realise sometimes you get into the habit of doing it.

And I remember in a one of my first jobs I must have been quite sarcastic in something.

And I remember once saying, That's it.

I was given a promotion to a manager's role and

the company I was working for weren't renowned for paying you particularly well.

So they took me in and said, We want to make you a manager.

And I said, I don't suppose I'm going to get any more money,

am I something sarcastic like that?

And he said he said he looked at me and said,

you know, you could get sacked for a comment like that.

She said, I'm giving you a promotion and you're being sarcastic.

And then I suddenly realised that maybe I've gone a little too far.

He's I mean, that's it.

He said, if I didn't know you well enough, you'd be out of a job.

A comment like that said.

Well that, that is it.

But doesn't that I think that story just proves

the power of sarcasm

and how saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment in the wrong way

can land you in a lot of trouble.

Here's another one, Steve.

This is this is this is nice I'm enjoying this.

It is bad to talk about certain things and now we are getting into it.

We are getting right into it.

This is it.

This is the main part of the subject.

It is bad to talk about things.

Or maybe, maybe there are certain things you should avoid talking about.

So in general conversation, do you mean do you mean in sort of general meeting it with friend?

Yes. Work colleagues? Yes, something like that.

Any any social interaction where where you are

speaking or an advice team to talk about.

So it is bad to talk about certain things.

And here we are, we're going to name them, by the way.

So you are of a sensitive disposition if you are easily offended.

So these are things which

might induce upset and for people.

Yes, offence traditionally have can lead

to big arguments if you bring up these certain subjects.

Can't believe you asked me that question or said

that things that people have strongly held

views about that might differ from your own

and yeah.

All right. Mr..

Yes. Okay, let's get on with it. Here we go.

And the first one of our things that you should never talk about

or maybe even mention in any situation

whatsoever is think

politics.

Politics.

well, yes, that is he has a subject

which lots of extreme lots of possibilities.

Lots of extreme.

You've got right and left conservatives, Labour, etc..

And there are lots of different subject areas in there

that you could differ with in terms of

who gets money, the kind of taxation.

Can I just stop you there, Steve?

Politics is not necessarily about people in power.

It can also be any opinion about any subject.

So it isn't necessarily left or right.

It can actually often be just a movement

or a certain belief or a certain view

of society or things in general.

So politics is kind of referring

to views, points of view

that are expressed with between people.

So so I think politics is definitely one thing that you avoid.

But you are right, you are right in that quite often

you have opposing views.

That means quite often in a conversation one person might

start talking about a certain government

or the people who are in power,

and that's how you eventually become embroiled.

And of course, the one big subject, political subject

that really divided people in societies over the last few years, of course, has been Brexit.

Now that's a subject that

you literally you, you really cannot bring up now in any conversation with people.

It's almost a subject.

It's almost an unwritten rule

now that whenever you're in a conversation with a group of people

that you don't really know what their views are about it.

You cannot bring up Brexit

because it is still a very very sensitive subject that has divided society.

Yes. And it's very, very

people will hold on to these views no matter what.

But, you know, even if they were wrong,

they will hold on to these views because their ego won't let them anyway.

I think they're wrong.

Can I just avoid specifics?

Yeah, but I'm just giving an example, Steve.

You know, Brexit is an example of politics which we just can't bring up any more and more conversation.

More recently.

There is, of course, another subject that has divided our people.

And it is, of course the the events that took place

between 2020 and 2022.

And we are talking about COVID and that that is the new hot topic here in the UK.

Everyone is talking about what happened during that period of time.

And once again you might say that that is a point of view.

There are people who have a certain view

and others who have maybe the opposite view or the conflicting view.

So I think politics takes in many things

when we are talking about opinions, the way you feel

about a certain subject or a certain topic.

So I think it is not good. And I

to talk about politics,

especially in large gatherings.

So if you are with many people, then you know that there going

to be many different opinions around you

and you are really, really putting yourself

at risk strong opinions, particularly

about certain areas of politics. Yes.

Yeah.

So it's a subject you've got to you've got to tread very carefully

or just avoid something here that Santorini,

as mentioned, is,

which is an interesting subject, a very interesting subject you brought up Saturday.

You know about money.

And if somebody is wealthy or rich and you know they are

and they've got a big house and they're obviously, you know,

multi millionaires or something,

do you ask them how they got there, how they got that money? Yes.

Now, that's normally again, that's a subject you would probably avoid

because it's you know, it's maybe they don't want to answer it.

Some people would do.

But it's, you know, talking about money that's a good subject

probably not to talk about in certain situations.

We might actually be talking about that in a moment.

Okay. So here's another subject.

And I'm sure a lot of people have said this already on the live chat they have.

I'm pretty sure here it comes

to religion.

If there is one subject that has divided

people all humanity,

for a very, very long time, it has to be religion.

I think of all the all the subjects, maybe favourite TV show,

maybe your favourite music artist, maybe

your favourite holiday destination,

all of those things seem very trivial and small

compared to this subject, which is a

a very divisive subject.

And I suppose we don't need to look very far at the moment

to work out just how divisive it can be.

So I think this is definitely I think this is probably worse

than politics because quite often

you might even find that those two subjects become the same.

Steve Yes, yes.

The problem with religion is there are lots of different religions and they all

everybody who is a member of that religion strongly believes

in that religion and its teachings.

And because usually they've been taught it from a very young age.

So it's all they know.

And therefore the idea that another religion

might have a different view

is sometimes very difficult for to accept.

And it's when

it's when certain religious leaders

or religious leaders start to

often used and has been in history, hasn't it?

Religion has been used as a weapon

against another group of people.

See what you are doing.

Now what's interesting here, Steve, is you are now expressing your opinion

and it's see how easy it is, though.

I'm just talking general note, talking generally, Steve, just just just allow me just to

it is easy to start talking about opinions, though.

And I know we're discussing the subject, but what I'm saying is

it is a subject that once you open it, when you open the box,

it just become something that you can't you almost can't put the box.

You close it again.

You've got to you've got to be able to hopefully if you want to believe in religion, fine.

If you you've been brought up to believe in that, fine,

you know, you can respect that.

But it's as we said before, it's when

it's when

people in charge use.

Okay, use that you want then that's when that's when it becomes a problem.

And that that is an opinion you see, because people

just people normally just live together.

That's nice.

That's what I respect everybody else.

Yes. I'm with life. Steve.

What I think what I think is that

everyone, everyone can believe whatever they want.

And I think that's it.

I mean, we're not religious, both of us.

Not really religious.

Never been to church really regularly.

But I would say that everyone is welcome to do that.

What I think most people object to is when someone knocks on their door

and tells them that's what you must think.

You have to think that that thing is the only thought you should have.

You should be thinking your own thing.

You should be thinking this thing.

And I think that's when there is conflict.

So that's the reason why generally I think religion is is avoided

in conversation with people, you know, or people

you don't know or at least know when to back off. Yes.

And change the subject.

Ooh, I think we ought to stop there and change the subject.

See that?

That's often something you hear in a conversation.

If you can see people are getting heated

when when when you say someone's

getting heated, it literally means they're getting hot,

flushed with anger and emotion.

Yes, the conversation is becoming heated.

People, then you okay, let's change the subject, shall we?

The voices will start to rise. Yes.

So it goes from polite conversation to shouting and arguing.

Maybe, maybe fighting in the streets as often happens.

Here we go is another one.

This is this is a little lighter.

This one, Steve, a subject that a lot of people don't like talking about

or discussing

earnings. Yes.

And somebody mentioned money

earlier.

I mentioned that myself.

I can't remember who it was.

And I think it was it was it was it.

God, I can't remember.

But yes,

particularly in the workplace,

a lot of companies actually

make it a rule

that you cannot your earnings with other colleagues.

I know that's the case where I work and everywhere I've worked before,

probably with yourself,

you can be you can get yourself into trouble.

You can get a disciplinary action against you if you discuss your wages.

Yeah, because quite often people in the same positions

as you may be on more

or less, depending on where they came,

which companies they came from, or how long they've been with the company.

Lots of different factors we won't go into whether it's fair or not, but often people are.

They might be a different sex,

might be earning, doing the same job and earning less

or more than you, or if they're younger or older.

You don't like to find out that you've been working for a company 20 years

and somebody new comes in who's half your age and is on more than you, you're going to be angry.

So companies don't like to discuss it and it can be

it can be

particularly at work can be a very divisive subject to talk about.

Well, I think also there is a lot of competition.

It is a competitive thing.

So when again, you kind of get this clash between people,

maybe two people who have a similar job,

a similar position in the same company, and they might find out

that one of them earns more for doing the same job as someone else.

And you are right, Steve, These days we hear a lot about gender equality.

So maybe a woman being paid less than a man,

but to do the same, exactly the same job.

So earnings, but also asking a person

genuinely in general conversation how much you earn.

So so maybe someone will come up to you, Steve, and ask Mr.

Steve, how much do you earn in your job?

Yes, that that is no.

Yeah, that's a very

even with my best friends, I probably would

loathe to discuss

that because when you certainly reveal to people how much you earn immediately

they're making all kinds of judgements assessments about about you

and it's,

you know it's, it's often a subject if you I mean I do with certain

I've got one particular friend at work we always do

tell each other what we're earning.

But generally yes, in my previous job I'm

not this job, my previous job and

that was all right.

You know, we sort of we knew each other well enough that

we could discuss it and we knew it wouldn't.

Him And you do generally know if people are getting bonuses

who are getting the most bonuses because they publish that.

But in the general term

of of conversation, things that you should avoid talking about,

you wouldn't normally ask a person how much they earn in their job.

Yeah, it is.

I would say it's a delicate subject, even in families even now.

Can I just tell you this, Steve?

Even in close relationships, maybe marriages,

quite often the husband

will keep all of that secret from his wife.

So you might find situations

where the husband will actually keep his earnings secret

from his own wife.

And it does happen.

There have been instances and situations where that's actually happened.

Incredible, isn't it? Yes.

Or is it different relationships?

There are different sort of old fashioned

There are different sort of parameters, but most of them are things that are different.

Sort of. Yeah, different things that people talk about.

I think it would be very strange if you were in a relationship

and you didn't know what your partner is earning.

That would be that would be that would be an odd situation, I think.

we've got a number. Mr.

Duncan Okay, So, so, so you're sitting down and now that's uncomfortable.

Yeah, well, I've just moved around. I'm fine now. Good.

I can't win.

So. So many.

Many is a sensitive issue.

I was often asked in in China

by sometimes by my students or sometimes by people.

I just I was acquainted with.

And they would ask, how much does your school pay you directly?

Just ask directly and and I thought it was quite offensive.

But then I realised in Chinese society a lot of people will just

discuss their salary with each other and it's it's not a big deal.

So different kinds of cultural things.

We've got to appreciate that.

Different cultures, it could be different.

Yes, I think, I think quite often you can find that.

Here's another one, Steve, can I just quickly say, Dwayne, thank you for your comment.

What if a colleague directly asks you at work,

what is

what are you you know, what salary are you on?

Well, probably

would I would feel that would make me feel uncomfortable.

It's something that they shouldn't have asked.

And I would probably reply that

I would probably.

What would I say?

I'd probably say, Well, I don't think we're supposed to talk about that, aren't we?

But I would imagine it's pretty much the same as you.

And then if they pressed it, they might get from my reply that I wasn't comfortable

talking about it and they would not ask any further questions if they did.

Depends on how well I know them, but I might.

You know, there are ways of sort of saying, well,

I wouldn't want to.

Nobody.

No, really ask me directly.

Well, you just say, I don't want to talk about that.

It's it's my private thing.

It's it's not a thing that's open for discussion.

Yeah, that's it.

That's it. You, you what you actually do is cut.

Cut that conversation short.

Palmira says.

I don't know what my sons are earning.

Yeah, fine.

Yes, because it's their private business.

And I think privacy is, is definitely the thing that relates

to how much you earn and also the next one, the next subject.

Here it comes, Steve.

And this is again a delicate subject.

You have to be careful

how has a person's health

quite often and and I find this quite interesting as well,

quite often people will not want to discuss their health.

And I think it is very similar to to your earnings.

It is something you like to keep private, keep to yourself.

Sometimes people don't like to discuss their health.

Maybe they have an illness that they don't want to discuss.

Even if you know that that person is ill,

quite often they won't want to actually discuss it because they feel awkward

or they just don't want to share it with other people.

Yes, I mean, you might my my mother.

I mean, it could be a generational thing as well.

Never.

My mother's generation, they never talked about their health.

They didn't people were ill.

They you didn't see them for a few days

and then they came back and you didn't really ask

my mother.

I took my mother.

See, I don't want people to know what's wrong with me.

And but then again, it

depends on your personality, I think. And

various other factors.

But I think now people tend to talk more about it.

But if you met somebody

and you hadn't seen them for a while

and you suspected they hadn't been very well, you might say, how will you?

And they might say nothing or they might say,

I haven't been too good, but I'm better now.

And then the next.

But then do you press it further and say, what's been the matter with you.

Well, that's a bit rude

if they were to say I've been ill,

I had a bad chest

infection or

I had a broken leg or

but it could be some health matter that you don't want to discuss.

So unless they tell you my

then you know you're not going to directly say, what was the matter with.

That's, that's a bit too direct.

You know, if they want to tell you they'll tell you.

Yes. Can I just say my guideline is the more serious something,

the less the less you should draw attention to it.

Since a person has a broken leg, which I think is a good example,

you can see that the leg is broken, it's there.

Your leg is now covered in in plaster Paris.

So it's very hard not to talk about something that is obvious.

So if a person has a broken leg,

you can see that that person has a broken leg.

You are going to mention it

because it is broken and it clearly is broken or maybe a broken arm.

Or maybe if a person

just has maybe an eye patch, maybe a patch over there.

Are you are they a pirate?

You would. Well, you can. I'm only joking.

Can you can say ahoy or Georgie?

My heart is something like that.

So things that are very obvious you might ask about, what happened?

What happened to your eye?

What happened to your leg?

How did you do that?

How did you break your leg? However,

a lot of people, they the more serious

the illness, the less it

it is acceptable to to openly discuss it,

especially if it's something really, really serious.

And of course, we are talking, I suppose cancer is the big one

and the other big that people don't often like to talk about is mental health issues,

because particularly for men, because that has an implication that you are somehow

of it.

It's not. But

and Catarina touches on this.

Thank you for your comment that women are more disposed to talk about their health than men.

And that is true.

I think in general, women are more liable to talk to each other

about all sorts of issues that might be worrying

not just their health, but all sorts of issues.

And they talk about it, and that's therapy in a way.

Whereas men, you know, they want to be macho.

I'm tough, you know, nothing affects me.

And there's a lot of mental health problems with men because they're not able

or don't have an outlet to talk about things that are affecting them. Yes.

Or affecting their mental health or their physical.

And because they don't want to seem, you know, they're going down the pub with their mates,

you know, having a drink, going down to watch the football match.

You just suddenly start for a man to suddenly open up emotionally to another man.

It's very

culturally, very difficult.

But men don't like to seem weak.

No, that's it.

It's, it's the avoidance of appearing weak.

So if a man talks about anything, even if he just has a cold, he won't really talk

about it with his mates because it will make him seem

as if he is not is much about him.

I've got a friend like that, you know, he gets ill, but he won't talk about it.

It just.

nothing.

I never get cold or I never get.

Nothing's ever wrong with me.

And but they do get ill.

They just don't talk about it.

Well when you see them they're.

Yeah, they just they're all right

because they won't admit that they've got an infection because that's a sign of weakness.

But that's.

But then some people of course they, they, they, they're always talking about their illnesses.

You get the opposite.

Whereas people will talk endlessly about their

as a way of getting sympathy from

somebody that do this all the time.

They use it as an excuse to to not work

or to not meet you or something on, I'm not feeling well.

So, you know, it's the opposite, isn't it?

Sometimes I think if a person is talking about their own health openly, then that's not the same thing.

Because you're not invading that person's privacy because they are disclosing it.

I but, but to ask a person directly

about their health is is quite often

certainly something you should avoid.

Here we go. Steve.

he's now I've saved the biggest one

or one of the biggest ones to the end

you'll get a little bit the

age and by the way, rhubarb,

it's all of those

and I don't mind the question.

It's all, it's all of them.

But anyway, your age. Mr. Duncan Yes.

How old are you? Mr. Duncan.

Well, for me, you see,

the problem is and this is this is a big problem.

And I just say I love being here on

I love being a YouTuber.

I've been doing this for many years and I do get a lot of questions, a lot of things asked.

Sometimes people write to me with nice things and sometimes people write to me

with really rude and horrible things, accusations

and things like that of being rude or racist

when I haven't done anything like that at all.

And, and so being, being in the public eye

means that

there are certain pressures against you

that that other people don't have to worry about.

And one them, of course, is age.

So if you are a famous person and we know this is true, Steve,

don't we, because we see so many celebrities having facelifts,

plastic surgery to pull everything back like that.

So we know that if you are famous or in the public eye,

your age becomes a very sensitive thing.

You have to protect.

You have to seem young forever because you can't you can't be old.

People won't watch your movies or buy your things.

Well, listen to your music anymore because you're old.

So age is a very sensitive subject.

It is.

I mean, you there's a phrase it's often used, you know, never ask a lady her age

that's used a lot in the UK

because you would

you can ask a man of his age, maybe

but you could never ask a woman.

I would never I would never ask a woman.

How old are you? I mean, you just wouldn't do it.

It's extremely rude because,

you know, it's very sensitive.

People often ask me my age,

I don't you know,

I don't mind people, but.

But you would never directly ask a woman

her age in this, at least in this country.

I probably in Europe as well.

It's just something you don't because

it means that you nobody wants to be

put into a box or pigeon because of their age.

Because as soon as somebody knows how old you are, immediately

they're you're assessed on the basis of that.

Yes, I agree.

Everything changes as soon as somebody noticeable.

I mean, obviously, most people look pretty much what their age is anyway.

You can pretty much how old most people are.

But some but but yes, it's a it's a subject

you have to be again, sensitive to.

But I think depending on the person in this situation, yes, they're protective.

And I think the more the more in the public eye you are,

the more protective you are not just your age, but also the

the appearance of age.

So everyone wants to look, we all want to stay young forever.

We do.

But I am sorry to have to break this to you, but you can't.

You can try. You can fight nature.

You can have a little bit of plastic surgery on your face to make you look lovely and young.

But at the end of the day, you can't do anything about it.

You Can't.

But if you are in the public eye, especially if you are female women,

it is impolite, generally speaking.

And there's more this on people if they're in the public eye,

because, you know, if somebody starts to look older, it's written in the paper.

We were shocked last night, actually.

There's a particular programme that we watch with a certain presenters

and there's this one presenter who's probably,

I would say only maybe to late twenties.

Yes, I think he's about 24 or 25.

That's right. And

we watched last night and I said to you Mr.

what's, what's wrong with him?

And he's had all sorts of work done to his face, have his white teeth put in

and obviously something to his eyes and its whole face looks weird.

Now at that age, that pressure to change to

I mean, he looked perfectly all right before him and suddenly these these felt this pressure.

And of course, a lot of people are I mean, I have so many friends at work

you wouldn't believe who are going it, having Botox

injections and fillers and all sorts of things.

And I mean, I'm not going to make a judgement on that.

But there is this pressure in society for a lot of people to do this.

Louis mentions

that when

as you get older, health becomes the most important thing.

And of course it is.

Of course if you think about it, it is the most important thing.

And I've got a friend.

The moment is the same age as me who's been diagnosed

with terminal cancer, terminal same age as me.

Yeah. Such a shock.

Yes, just retired.

And as you get older, you get more and more people,

you know, more and more people that suddenly get ill.

And it puts things in perspective.

It puts things So you then realise that A, that health is the most important thing.

It is actually at any age.

You just don't think about it when you're younger.

As as as Lewis mentions, your health is in danger when you're younger.

In fact, more people, in fact, apparently once you get above about six 5560,

if you live that long, the chances are you're going to live a long age,

but you're actually there's a higher death rate amongst people,

sort of teenagers up to the age of 20

than there is in people over sort of 60

because they die of different things, accidents

and yeah, drugs or something like that.

But yes, health is always the most.

So yeah, I think I think age is something

that people are sensitive of and drawing attention

in a conversation to a person's age is often seen

and as a little bit rude. Yes.

And offensive.

Anyway, we must move on.

I've got a few more things to talk about

with this subject.

Here's another one, Steve, and I think this is a good one.

This is another good one

thing that might cause problems if you mention it or ask

too many questions.

Personal relationships,

relationships, a relationship you might be having with another person,

maybe a romance tick relationship,

maybe a secret relationship,

maybe a relationship that you're having, and you don't want other people to know about.

So personal relationships, we are often

or we feel awkward.

We feel that the subject might be difficult to talk about

if we talk about our personal relationship

with another human being.

Would you say?

Steve Yes, I mean, they used to, yes.

Personal relationships.

You've got to, you've got to know the person well haven't you

you. Can, you can appear rude

if you're asked too many, too many personal questions.

I mean generally if you're asking personal questions to somebody, you can come across

as a bit rude.

I mean, they used to say you didn't they?

The less you know, sometimes the better.

Sometimes the less you know about somebody, the better,

because you might find that something you don't like about them.

Yeah.

And it might put you off talking to them

and gossip.

Of course, you might find that there could be all sorts of rumours

and gossip going around about somebody in the war time.

They used to say, you know,

you don't, don't ask information.

The less you know, the better.

It can cost lives.

You know, if you talking or gossiping or talking, somebody can actually cost lives and in certain

situations.

But, but yes, personal relationships, again, it's

dependent on, on the person and

how well you know them. Yes.

Maybe there is a personal relationship that you're having and maybe it goes

against the what I would say, the conformity

of of the general population.

Maybe you are in a same sex relationship

with someone of the same sex, the same gender, two ladies, two men.

And again, that's a personal thing.

Some people don't mind sharing it.

Other people want to keep it a secret, especially once again,

we're talking about famous people and history

has shown that there are many celebrities who have had relationships

with a person of the same gender, and they've tried to keep it a secret.

They've they've kept it to themselves because they feel

that that is their own personal space,

that is their own boundary,

and they are in that boundary.

And the other person they are with is also in that boundary.

They share a relationship, but it is not for the public domain.

So a personal relationship might go against what some people

believe to be right or normal.

Of course, these days we are slightly more enlightened, so that doesn't happen

so often, but it still does happen.

I suppose if you're going to reveal personal information

about yourself to somebody and let's face it,

most people do like to talk about themselves,

particularly if you're in a romantic relationship with somebody

the chances of you keeping being able to keep that to yourself

is going to be very slim because you will be dying to tell somebody,

a best friend or something about this wonderful relationship,

because naturally you would want to share, probably share that information.

You've got to you've really got to trust that person. Yes.

That you're telling that they're not going to pass that on to somebody.

Ooh, do what I just found out for certain,

such as having a relationship with, you know, gossip.

In fact, some of the more, the more naughty

or the more against

what is seen as normal,

the more it goes against that, the more juicy it becomes.

And that's what we often see in newspapers and in magazines when something like that is revealed

so that the more the more

I went to say the word sinful.

But I think that's the wrong word to use.

But you know what I mean?

If something is is a little bit more unusual or it becomes more entrenched.

Well, it's like our relationship. Mr.

Duncan, I didn't used to discuss it because back in the

you know, when we met in the late eighties,

you know, it just suddenly it wasn't something you talked about. No.

And I used to work for a company then,

and I knew full well that I couldn't about it.

I might lose my job

very easily because, you know, you know the bosses.

You know what their views are.

So, you know, I had to keep it hidden.

Mr. Duncan Yes, that's it.

But a lot of people don't even realise how hard it was in the 1990s. Yes.

So this would be difficult.

It is easy to think that in the 1990s everyone was more open and more cool.

People would judge you.

And I, you know, I was in a choir and been for a long, long time.

It was time that a lot of the people in that choir, you know, the religious people,

because the choir is based in a church is not actually a religious choir,

but a lot of people in the choir, you know, go to church.

And yeah, I know full well that the divide

probably they

wouldn't want me in the choir if they knew I mean now it's different

but back then it's not that long ago, 20 years ago.

Yes, it was.

It was 30 years ago. It was still even 20 years ago.

I would have felt very uncomfortable telling people about our relation.

Geoff.

Well, well, what I'm actually saying is it's very easy to forget just how difficult it was.

The 1990s always seems like a slightly

more progressive decade, but it wasn't.

You would be amazed.

We used to have all sorts of problems, to be honest.

We went to Wales once.

Do you remember when we've tried to stay over in Wales

and we went to this small guest house

and we knocked on the door and we said, do you have any rooms available?

She says.

She said to us, We don't cater for that sort of thing.

Yeah. And she slammed the door in our face.

We don't cater.

Imagine how that, how we felt about that. It wasn't nice.

I can tell you we don't cater for that sort of thing.

I mean, now, legally,

that's not allowed.

And I guess we could have progressed.

Yeah, if that happened now, we could sue.

We could actually sue the person for it.

So they go.

Yeah, So. Exactly.

So you had to be careful about what you talked about.

You have to trust people. Still.

You do still you have to trust people. Yes.

But you know, if you if you're in a relationship with somebody,

you are going to want to know if it's a good relationship.

You are going to want to tell somebody, you know what I mean?

Yes, you are going to want to.

I've met. I've met.

she's wonderful. He's wonderful.

said we love you.

Can't keep that in.

So you've got to be able to tell somebody, but you've got to trust that person.

You know this, You know this. Yeah.

Personal relationships anyway,

it is possible

to say the wrong thing so you can say the wrong thing by accident.

Would you say that's true?

I think.

Think you can sometimes just you're not being rude, you're not being mean,

but sometimes you can just you can just say wrong thing.

Yes, but unintentionally, yes, you can say something.

I do that a lot, actually.

I say things.

Sometimes I wonder whether I express myself well enough. And

I think people sometimes get the, as we say, the wrong end of the stick

or which means they get the wrong meaning, the wrong end of the stick.

It just means that, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick.

Yeah.

It means you're saying you don't understand me.

Let me explain further.

Okay.

You get the wrong idea.

Yes. And you can say you can say the wrong thing and it can upset somebody.

And you didn't do it intentionally, Don't you.

Now, would I be fair in saying that you actually have a habit, Steve,

sometimes, of saying the wrong thing?

I put my foot in it. Yes.

You don't you don't mean to be to be

nasty, but it might come across as rude or nasty.

Yes, I think I think it can happen.

And I think you you are pretty good at doing that usually,

because I can be quite sarcastic and

it. Yeah.

And if you put your foot in it it means you say something.

I think we explain that to you.

I don't think we use that expression. No.

Well I'm showing it now on the screen you put your foot,

you put your foot in your mouth,

you can put your foot in your mouth.

It means you say something really stupid,

something that other people might take the wrong way.

It might appear offensive to someone else.

You put your foot in your mouth or you can just say you put your foot in it. Yes.

And that could also mean, I think put your foot in

dog poo.

Can't you put your foot in it.

Well, I think that's what it's referring to.

You've you've you've stepped into something that's unpleasant. Yes.

You stepped into something unpleasant.

Obviously, if you step into dog poo.

Yeah, that's very unpleasant.

And embarrassing and smelly and nasty.

So if you put your foot in it in terms of

something you said in a conversation, it means you said something nasty,

you know, something you probably it's an accident

because stepping in dog poo is an accident.

You don't do it. Intention lightly.

Yes, but you put your foot put my foot in it, you know, here's another one.

You let the cat out of the bag by revealing a secret.

And I think maybe you you almost mentioned this earlier.

So you let out something.

You let out a secret, You gave out information you didn't mean to.

You accidentally gave away a secret.

You revealed something.

You let the cat out of the bag.

A slip of the tongue.

Thank you. Valentyn is another

slip of the tongue.

I didn't mean to say that. That's it.

That's simply to put your foot in it. Slip of the tongue.

I didn't mean to say that. Sorry.

There it is on the screen now.

I'll write a Bloody Valentine Valentine's ahead of the game.

A slip of the tongue is something said by mistake.

You didn't mean to say it.

It was accidental.

You said it, but you said it accidentally.

You did not me to say it again.

Olga.

You see, Olga's touched on another point, which other people have mentioned earlier

about the way you say something.

Olga says often worry about words.

I said, If my words can be interpreted rudely,

yes, but if you're going to be rude,

you would be saying it with a certain tone of voice and expression.

So if you say words,

if you

say something that does upset somebody, if you're not doing it intentionally,

they will probably be know from your expression in your tone

that you didn't mean to be offensive.

So I don't think there's any need to really worry too much, about that.

Yes, you often know when a person is being sarcastic, they let you know somehow,

normally with the tone of their voice, maybe if you've been meeting up with someone

and they've been waiting for you and you're late, they might say,

it's nice to see you here on time,

but your tone of the voice,

the tone of your voice is saying the opposite.

So sarcasm can be quite subtle where you are saying something positive,

but you are expressing it in a negative way.

And finally, of course, you can just let something slip out.

You let some things slip out.

Maybe you are going away and having a secret wedding

with your lover and you tell your best friend.

But they accidentally tell someone else.

They let it slip out.

It becomes knowledge to others

because you you mentioned it or you said it.

In fact, yes, it's very difficult.

If somebody tells you a secret. It's very difficult.

Sometimes some people can keep secrets,

other people can't you?

It's you know, we all know the people that can't.

And you soon find out who those you know, if people come to you and tell you information

about who people at work,

you probably know that that's not the person to go and tell

any confidential information to is if they're telling it to you.

You've often said this about we've got a neighbour here

near us who you go to visit them and they will certainly tell you

all about that, the other neighbours and what they're doing and what they've said.

And you just think to yourself and I better be carefully telling this person

any information, because if they're telling me about other people

you can bet that they are

telling other neighbours about information they get from about me. Yes.

That's how, that's how a gossip.

A person who gossips is a person

who gets information by other people by getting them to trust them.

And so you can get all of that information from other people.

And then and then you go round and and give them information about yourself

and then they tell other people about.

And I think gossiping, I think it's one of the worst

of all of the the things that people do to others.

I think gossiping is the worse, I think gossiping.

Mr. Duncan, I love it. I know you do.

I hear you sometimes.

I'm a horrible person.

You might be.

Sometimes Rhubarb says that I look red.

I look red.

I It's probably blood pressure. Yes.

I don't know.

It says he's joking, but I'm not sure

I won't take offence.

You haven't dropped your.

You haven't put your foot in it. No.

You haven't made a mistake in that comment.

That's not a problem.

Don't worry about.

yeah, there we go.

Yeah. So you've.

You've had a little donation. Mr. Duncan.

Thank you very much to Arielle for your donation.

Thank you very much. It's very kind of you.

I will treat that like a little Christmas gift.

Thank you very much. That's very kind of you.

And by the way, if anyone wants to, to make a small donation

at this time of because, of course, everything I do, I do it for free.

And there it is now on the screen.

So that is my address for any donations.

If you want to send a little donation, you are more than welcome to do so.

I do everything here for free.

I never charge for this.

So if you want to make a donation you are welcome to on the live chat

or of course, to the address that is on the screen right now.

Thank you very much advance.

And I would say Mr.

Steve that is that's 2 hours we've been all. Mr.

Duncan Yes.

Because Now you are comfortable in your cosy corner.

does this mean I have to stay on for 2 hours every Sunday now?

Well, you see, I.

I think next Sunday we will be here for 2 hours because it's Christmas Eve.

So we have a lot of things to show.

We will be talking about Christmas traditions.

We will be talking about stories connected to Christmas. Mr.

Steve will be reading out some lovely poetry and we will show you

all Christmas cards for 2023.

So there is a lot to do next Sunday, Christmas Eve.

We are with you.

And I have to say, I'm really looking forward to it. Yes.

Make sure you've wrapped all your presents. Yes.

If you celebrate Christmas, of course. Yes.

Make sure you've wrapped them all.

Get everything done prepared and be ready for 2:00 next Sunday.

No excuses.

There is no excuse whatsoever whatsoever.

Thank you, Mr. Steele. Thank you, Mr. Duncan.

Thank you, Mr. Steele.

I've enjoyed it.

Thank you. Wonderful viewers from around the world.

I must say, I do feel more relaxed sitting down. Yes.

Normally my hips aching,

you know, I would have been aching an hour ago,

but they've they've been fine, so.

Yeah, great. I look forward to next Sunday.

Yeah, I think.

I think this.

This new cosy corner of yours, Mr.

Steve. I think it is a very good idea.

I would say that this is the way things will be from now on.

And Steve will be sitting in the corner looking all cosy and relaxed.

So we will see you next week. Steve.

All right, Mr. Duncan.

Have a lovely week, everyone.

I hope you learn some English.

I hope you've learnt something today and see you next week.

Thank you, Mr. Steve.

And there he goes.

Steve will be back with us next week.

I will be with you.

guess what? I'm with you on Wednesday.

Don't forget I'm with you on Wednesday with my English addict Extra.

You can watch this all over again as well

you can watch the whole 2 hours again and there will be captions.

Can I just say there will be captions?

Don't forget to give me a lovely like as well.

Thank you very much.

It would be ever so nice if you could do that.

I will see you later.

That is all I have for today.

I think we will call it a day.

That's what you do when you say goodbye.

When you and

you say that you will call it a day.

It is time to call it a day.

And I will see you on Wednesday from 2 p.m.

UK time.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday if you are preparing for Christmas.

I hope those preparations go well.

Don't forget we are back next week from 2 p.m.

UK time as well.

Next Sunday, Christmas Eve we will be with you for 2 hours, I promise.

See you later.

This is Mr.

Duncan in the birthplace of English, saying Thank you for watching.

See you soon.

And of course, until the next time

we meet here on YouTube, you know what's coming next?

Yes, you do.

Stay happy.

Keep that smile on your face.

And of course...

ta ta for now.