ENGLISH ADDICT - LIVE - Special Guest Host --- Mr Lomax

Are we on?

Are we on?

Are we actually broadcasting now?

that's very nice.

I, I don't really know what to do now.

Do I press a button?

Which button do I press?

Do I press?

I don't know.

I will just press one button and say what happens

and I

don't know.

I think we are on

my way out.

I think now.

Hello, everyone.

This is Mr.

Lomax.

I have to say, it feels very strange being here

with you live because it's been a very long time

since I was with you last.

And now I'm here with you today to say hello, because Mr.

Duncan is in bed.

He is tired, and we all know why.

We all know why that is happening because he is very alone.

He's an old fart, as my dad used to say.

He's over the hill.

He is about to kick the bucket.

I think so, because he is really, really old now.

I don't even know how old Mr.

Duncan is.

I don't think he does either, because he's so old.

Anyway, Mr.

Duncan has asked me to present

today's live stream, but to be honest, I don't know what to do.

I don't really know much about English.

I know a lot about bananas.

Do you like bananas?

I like bananas.

They come from Brazil

and other parts of the world as well.

Bananas.

I love bananas.

I wish I could have all the bananas in their world

and eat them all one by one.

I wouldn't know how long it would take me to eat all the bananas.

I went to, how long it would take me to peel

all those bananas and eat them one by one.

Bananas are very good for you.

They are full of potassium.

I learned that from Mr.

Steve.

Because between you and me, Mr.

Steve is much cleverer than Mr.

Duncan. Mr. Duncan? He's a bit.

What's the word I want to use a word that's very offensive.

He's quite retarded, to be honest.

But, Mr.

Steve, To be honest, he is the brain

that's the brains of this operation.

Mr. Duncan.

He doesn't know anything.

He's a bit sick, to be honest.

A lot of people accuse me of being mean to Mr.

Duncan, but to be honest with you, can you blame me?

Well,

I'm bananas.

I like bananas.

They make me very happy.

The other thing I like doing, of course, besides eating bananas,

is throwing my own faeces at human beings.

Those two things give me so much pleasure.

Mr. Duncan is old, but I am young.

I am a young ape.

I'm not a monkey.

A lot of people say I'm a monkey.

I'm not a monkey.

I am an ape because I don't have a tail.

Monkeys have tails.

Do I look like a monkey

do? Hi.

all scared.

Of course. I doubt

who else wants to talk.

I suppose I should look at my phone here.

he can't see it.

there it is. And,

now I have to say hello to someone

on the live chat.

That's what Mr. Duncan told me to do.

He said, You've got to say hello to someone.

The first person to appear on the live chat

who is it, though?

Let's have a look. Ooh.

Hello to.

I wish I could read it.

He Vitesse, Vitus.

I don't know. Hello there.

Vitesse says hello, so I will say hello to you as well.

Hello V test.

I think I have to give you a round of applause.

Do I? Okay. I will press.

Which button shall I press?

This one here.

You must give me lots of applause.

I enjoyed that.

I wish someone would give me applause.

I never get applause for anything.

At least once in my life.

I would like to get some applause.

well, you can't have everything in life.

Hello.

Also to him.

I can't see the phone.

Beatriz is here as well.

I suppose I should say hello to Beatrice.

Beatrice.

It's nice to see you.

He apparently I have to sing as well.

Hello, Beatrice.

It's so nice to see you here.

What do you belong up about today?

I thought that.

I thought that, But

did you enjoy my song?

I think my singing is much better than Mr.

Duncan is.

His singing is a load of.

I nearly swore then I do have a habit of swearing.

Sometimes I say words that I shouldn't.

So if I do swear today, I'm

sorry that I'm not as polite as Mr.

Duncan or Mr. Steve.

They are actual gentlemen.

Even though Mr.

Duncan is a bit stupid,

Mr. Steve is the clever one.

Do you like my banana?

It's big and juicy, and I can't take my eyes off it.

I'm going to eat that banana later.

So what else normally happens?

I've been told that I have to read some words, but I don't have any.

I have bananas. I like bananas.

Would you like to talk about bananas?

I like to have a banana and I breakfast.

I like to have a banana for my pants.

I too have a banana for my support.

I like to have a banana very much.

Also, the things I say have to rhyme.

Apparently, according to Mr.

Duncan,

apparently the view is like that when I do that.

Hello to who else can I say hello to someone else?

Is it okay?

Is it a loud when I get kicked off?

Hello, Beatrice.

Beatrice.

Mr. Duncan has told me that you live in the mountains.

Is it true?

I've never been that high up.

The highest I've ever been.

Is that top of Mr. Duncan's dams and tree?

When I was swinging around, I was looking for some bananas.

But there weren't any.

I was trying to find bananas, but no bananas for me.

Only time zones.

And I don't like them.

They're too bitter.

I don't like them.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Definitely don't.

Hello?

Hello? Lewis.

Lewis.

Apparently, Lewis,

according to Mr.

Duncan,

is a very lively

and very excited person.

Apparently, when Mr.

Duncan went to Paris, he had to follow

Lewis around the city because he couldn't keep up.

As I said already, Mr.

Duncan is so unfit and

old. It's true, unfortunately.

Hello, Lewis.

I've never met you before, but I hope one day we can meet up.

And shall I rap in on it together?

Wouldn't that be good?

I think so.

Hello.

Also to send one.

Hello? Sent? Why not?

I like your name.

It sounds very nice. It's nice to say.

It really comes out in a nice way.

Send her away.

I like that very much.

So who else is here?

hello to.

I think that might be Claudia.

Is that Claudia?

Now, apparently, Mr.

Duncan has told me if I see Claudia

on the live chat, I have to sing a song.

What's

cooking, Claude?

What have you got in your past?

What's cooking, Claudia?

Is it something spicy and hot?

Is it something salty or not?

Claudia, what

is in your pot?

What is it?

What are you cooking? What's cooking?

Maybe you are having bananas.

Maybe you are having bananas with

pasta.

Bananas with custard.

Bananas with

ice cream.

I could eat that right now.

I am hungry.

Mr. Duncan has paid me

to do this.

He's given me this banana here. Can you see it?

It looks lovely.

It looks nice and ripe.

Something ripe is often something that is ready.

Ready to eat or ready to pick from the plant

or the tree.

Mr. Lomax,

that is who I am.

I met she came and he.

Sometimes I'm very polite,

but I'm also lovely as well,

So I can get away with it, I suppose. To

hell, no.

To hand over to Marcy here.

Marcy is here as well.

Also, we have said Amir, I.

Hello, said Amir.

Nice to see you here.

Very good to see you here on the live chat.

A lot of people are missing, Mr. Duncan.

They are asking, where is Mr. Duncan?

I can tell you now, Mr.

Duncan is in bed,

is sleeping.

And you know why?

Because he's been doing live streams every day.

And apparently.

Well, let's be honest,

he's getting old and he can't do it every day.

He can't do anything every day.

To be honest.

Sometimes he doesn't do anything

all day.

He just sits and watches YouTube videos

like this.

In fact, I've just realised maybe you are doing the same thing.

Maybe he was sitting there watching this, but because you have nothing to do,

or maybe you are trying to avoid doing something.

I think so.

What time is it?

It's 2:18 o'clock and this is Mr.

Lomax.

Life with you on YouTube.

It's very nice to be here with you.

And I hope we can become very good friends.

In fact, I think if I do a very good job of this,

I might be able to come on all the time, I imagine.

Imagine that.

Imagine if I could come out all the time doing this with you.

That would be amazing, wouldn't it?

Well, how? Maybe.

Maybe we can do it again some time.

Who knows?

I'm going to have a break because I need a drink of water.

Even people like me

cheeky apes sometimes need to drink some water.

I will be right back.

Please don't go away.

I'm a big boy now.

The interview and

I'll be back.

well, I don't mind it.

I don't know what's happening.

All I know is I don't have a clue how to do this.

A bit like Mr. Duncan. Ready?

He looks like he knows what he's doing.

But to be honest with you, I can tell you

now he does not.

And he doesn't have a clue. He doesn't.

He just presses the buttons, He makes a wish,

and he hopes that everything will be all right.

Floating bananas all around me.

it's too exciting.

Really.

I'm being very distracted by this banana.

I want to eat it.

I want to.

Gobble, gobble to eat something very fast.

You couple that thing

down very quickly.

Hello, Life chat.

I have Mr. Duncan's phone here.

I can see some people joining in.

Hello.

Hello. To Partridge.

Partridge in a pear tree.

Thank you. Is a partridge in a pear tree.

Because when Christmas comes, we often sing a song

about a partridge in a pear tree

celebrating the 12 days of Christmas.

I wonder what Mr.

Duncan will buy me for Christmas.

I wonder

maybe something nice.

Maybe something

that looks like that.

maybe a banana.

Maybe. How great.

Have bananas.

Imagine that, if you will.

Or if you eat an ALU, as Mr.

Duncan would say

hello to our new friend who is running today's live stream.

May I introduce myself? Jean

Ni Giovani.

Hello, Giovani.

Nice to see you.

I'm very happy

that you can join me

today on the live stream.

Mr. Duncan is being very lazy today.

He's sleeping at the moment, he's having dreams.

I wonder what Mr.

Duncan dreams about.

Maybe we shouldn't ask.

Maybe he should keep that sort of thing to himself.

Hello.

Also to

I can see a very familiar name.

Florence.

I remember Florence.

Florence has been watching Mr.

Duncan's live streams for a long time, so I like that.

I like when we see other people

who we haven't seen for a long time.

So you might actually say that this is a type of rendezvous.

So it's lovely.

It's lovely to be here again.

I know a lot of people have asked, where is Mr.

Lomax?

Well, I've been very busy.

I went to Hollywood for a while.

I was writing episodes of The Big Bang Theory.

But when the Big Bang Theory finished, then I had no work.

So I tried to write some screenplays.

I wrote a brilliant story about

about a chimpanzee.

He goes back in time and he lands on a planet

full of human beings,

and I called it Planet of the Humans.

Apparently nobody liked it.

They rejected it.

Paramount rejected it.

They said, No, thank you.

We're too busy making superhero movies.

If you wrote a story about a superhero monkey

or a superhero chimpanzee,

you might be interested.

And I suddenly realised no one has done that.

No one has written a story about a superhero chimpanzee.

So maybe, maybe I could do that.

I'm working on my next screenplay,

which is called Going Back and then Returning to the Future.

It's about a chimpanzee who discovers how to time travel.

He goes back in time, but unfortunately he accidentally meets up

with his chimpanzee mother and she's very young at that time

and they fall in love.

But then, unfortunately, it causes problems with the time continuum.

As you know, If you do that, he goes all sorts of problems.

We call it the butterfly effect, The butterfly effect.

So that's my latest screenplay.

I've called it going back in time and then going back

in time to the Future or something like that.

It's still a very rough draft.

I'm still working on it, to be honest.

But I didn't like Planet of the Humans for some reason.

I don't know why.

Maybe human beings are not as nice as they appear.

Sometimes human beings can be a little bit

spiteful and all of.

What do you think?

Do you think human beings generally are good,

or do you think genuinely human beings are not so good?

I don't mind.

Mr. Duncan treats me well,

even though sometimes he is a bit stupid.

As I said,

Mr. Steve is the one who runs the show behind the scenes.

He's the brains behind all this.

Not Mr. Duncan.

He just likes to surf the wave of

international stardom here on YouTube.

But really, it's Mr. Steve. He does all the work.

He does

just that sometimes.

Hello

to everyone.

No one else watching me,

because I want is happening.

If you like bananas, you are going to love

next week's live stream because I am going to be presenting

all of the live streams next week.

That's what Mr.

Duncan said anyway.

It is part of the agreement for doing this.

He said, Mr.

Lomax, if you do my big favour on Friday,

maybe I can let you present next week as well

if you do a good job of it, although you will have lots of viewers.

Hopefully if you don't have lots of viewers, then I won't.

I won't let you do it next week.

So I hope I have lots and lots of viewers

and I hope lots and lots of likes as well.

You have to like what I do.

Apparently, YouTube is not the same as

it was the last time you saw me here.

It's changed a lot.

Apparently, there are millions and millions of people

now making videos on YouTube.

So Mr.

Duncan has been lost.

He's been lost in the sea of content.

There is too much stuff on the Internet.

I do feel sorry for Duncan, really.

He tries his best.

He's not the brightest person in the world, but he tries.

He gives it his best shot.

Even though sometimes he hack, he acts

like a child.

He's a little bit childish.

Did you see him? Just.

He was playing on the swings and on the slide,

like a big grown up kid.

Pathetic, really, isn't it?

When you think about it? It is.

Do I do Any impressions?

Yes, I do.

I do a very good impression of Rod Stewart.

He if you want my bad and you think and sexy.

Come on, baby, let me know

if you feel a need and just come up and see me handy.

Won't you let me know that you know

Dee dee dee dee dee dee dee like that.

It was just like Rod Stewart.

I do other impressions as well.

I just let out a little fart.

I hope you don't mind.

Is too many bananas.

That's the problem. If you eat too many bananas.

there it was again.

I'm sorry if you eat too many bananas.

Yeah, you.

He if that's a lot.

Unfortunately, I can't.

I can't help it.

This is not my fault.

Mr. Duncan likes music from the 1980s.

I think.

I think they were all a bit strange.

A lot of the pop singers in the 1980s were really weird.

Were they?

Some of them men were wearing women's clothes and wearing makeup.

It looked so strange.

Really, really weird.

But Mr.

Duncan seems to enjoy that sort of things, so

I'm not going to judge him even though I really want to.

But I won't.

Mr. Steve, on the other hand, is lovely.

He's he's so normal.

He's so kind and gentle.

Mr. Duncan.

Mr. Duncan, he's like, he's like a yobo Yobo.

That's a great word.

Yobo as Mr.

Duncan would say that is a very interesting word.

Yobo is a

person who is unruly.

They are not a very nice person.

Glide often a young person who misbehaves a lot

is a, you know,

yeah, yeah. Thing as well.

Mr. Duncan is he's a yobo.

Hello,

Osun.

Hello, Merson.

Nice to see I've heard a lot about you because you will always

you are always so friendly on here.

And at the end of Mr.

Duncan's life. Strange.

You always say I have something to do.

Now I must go until the next time.

That's what Mr.

Duncan told me anyway.

He always likes to talk about you.

He talks about you.

quite often.

I get the feeling

that Mr.

Duncan likes you all very much.

In fact, I would go as far as to say

he loves you.

He loves doing this.

He likes doing this very much.

I think so.

I'm very tired.

I've just realised this is actually very tiring.

It does make you feel tired doing this.

I feel tired.

I also feel hungry because I haven't eaten anything since this morning.

So I'm going to have this banana in a moment.

I think that's what I'm going to do and then

I might have a little rest as well.

So no, I think I understand why this

live streaming is so exhausting

because it does it makes you feel quite tired.

And I'm feeling tired right now.

I think maybe it's because I've been farting too much.

there it was again.

I'm sorry about that.

I'm glad Mr.

Duncan isn't here, or else he would be complaining about a smell.

I'm going.

And I think Mr.

Duncan will be here tomorrow.

Hopefully, he will be refreshed after his sleep

and he will have lots of energy.

Mr. Duncan will be back with you

tomorrow.

I am going now.

I've loved doing this.

I really have enjoyed it.

And it's nice to be here without Mr.

Duncan being around spoiling everything

with his jolly humour and his childish behaviour.

So it is nice to do something different, don't you think?

I think I think so, yes.

I will leave you.

See you very soon.

I hope it is not as long as the last time we were apart.

Giovanni says

you must open the window

to let the stinky banana farts out.

I think you're right. Actually, I will do that.

I'm going hell, and I hope you've enjoyed

this live stream a little bit.

Unusual? Yes, maybe

a little bit strange, perhaps.

But as Mr.

Duncan often says, See you soon.

And of course,

ta ta For now.

Is that it?

Can I go now?

Can I have my banana?

mmm banana!

I'm a big

boy now, but