Brits On Being MORE CONFIDENT | Easy English 109

The answers lie within you.

You have all the answers.

You are whole and complete.

Don't believe the stories that you tell yourself,

they're just opinions, not fact.

Create a present, not in the past,

create a present in the future.

The re-imagining of the self.

Hello, welcome to Easy English.

So today, I'm asking the people  of Britain about confidence.

Advice they'd give to people  on building confidence

and examples in their own life

where they were lacking a  little bit of self-esteem.

Here we go.

What advice would you give on  like, self-esteem or confidence?

I think it's about doing the stuff  you're good at and enjoying that.

So I think if you're  struggling with meeting people,

finding friends, what I would do is say,

what's the thing I like doing?

What makes me feel good?

When did I last feel good?

And then try and replicate that.

So that helps build your confidence,

because you feel, you're adding value back

into the group of friends you're with.

And I think a lot of lacking in confidence

is because you don't feel valuable

amongst the people you're mixing with.

So with confidence, I think  it's about comfort zones.

And I think, if you can pick  something that you're interested in,

or something you kind of, really into and really,

really want to speak about,

you'll be able to find your confidence with that.

If you're comfortable speaking about it.

If you know what you're talking about,

then your confidence will come through that.

So you should always try and kind of,

deviate the conversation the way of,

something that you are confident about,

something you are interested in,

whether it's a sporting event, whether it's...

whether it's anything you like,

whether it's being at the  beach or going for walks.

Anything you have the enthusiasm about,

speak about that and that'll give  you more confidence, I think.

So, I think as my job is as a lecturer,

so that does take confidence  standing up, in front of a group.

And sometimes, you don't always feel it.

And... and often perhaps, I don't feel it is,

if it's about a topic that  I'm not comfortable with.

So, I think my top tip, quite  often is being prepared.

So if there's something, like  a, whatever you're doing,

perhaps always do that preparation  and if it's doing a run,

or any exercise, just doing a bit of research,

erm... talking to friends, getting  advice, that type of thing.

So that preparation, I think,  helps build confidence.

Well, what I would always do  is pretend like I'm really sure

in what I'm saying.

If you're unsure with yourself,

then you're not going to appear confident.

So just be really sure about what you're saying,

because then people will  believe that you're a confident,

outgoing person.

Don't, you know, think too much about  what you're saying all the time,

just go out, be free with it.

Don't directly focus on anyone,  if you're talking to them

and just be confident in  what you're saying, really.

You know, believe what you're saying is right.

What advice would you give to  someone who wants to appear

or seem or feel more confident?

Breathe and believe.

That's it

Breathe and believe.

That's it.

Physically breathing and believing mentally?

However you want to take that.

Breathe and believe.

Breathe slowly or breathe quickly?

Depends.

Breathe and believe.

Breathe and believe.

Hello!

So unfortunately, we didn't get so  many interviews for this episode,

storm Eunice had other ideas.

So, I thought, in fact, that  I'd give you my opinion,

if you'll take it.

So I believe that you can't just sort of magically

improve your self-esteem,  you have to own it, I think.

And that involves, you sort of,

understanding why you're  lacking, in certain senses.

Maybe you were bullied in school,

maybe you lost your job,

or you just know that you're  lacking in some sort of,

skill in life.

I think, it's also worth realising that everybody

has some sort of neuroticism in their life

and that most people who are outwardly confident

are usually doing this to  compensate for something,

which makes them feel a little bit insecure.

I personally, actually, love people

who admit to their failures in life

and who, admit that they are  quite insecure about things.

I think it makes people really  modest and quite humble,

which is a very attractive quality, I think.

So I dubbed this the ''8 Mile''  approach based on the Eminem film.

I think, if you're feeling nervous or emotional,

you're probably best-off  just outwardly admitting it.

I think people can often see behind any sort of,

ruse anyone has, if they're pretending to be okay.

I think it's quite easy to see through this.

And to be honest, I think most  people, if you admit this,

will have empathy towards you or  they should show empathy towards you.

So for me personally, I have a confidence issue

in speaking another language.

I work in the Easy Languages network

and all of our meetings are held in English,

so I get to see the level of English

that all the non-native speakers  have, and it's truly amazing.

So it does make me very  self-conscious that my German

is absolutely nowhere near the  level of English that they have.

And so, I find it's just  better for me to admit this,

that I'm not very comfortable,  or confident speaking

another language yet.

And yeah, everyone is very receptive to this.

And I think, if you have  confidence issues speaking English,

then I think you should just tell people

and I'm sure they'll accept you.

So I have a means to  defeating my confidence issue,

which is through my language app.

And now, I personally recommend Busuu,

who kindly agreed to sponsor this video.

So if you're learning or want  to start learning a language,

then follow the link here,

which is clickable down in the description below

and you can start learning for free.

Or, they even have a seven day  trial of their premium features,

which I really recommend.

So the thing I like the most about Busuu is

there are many ways to learn  a language through their app.

I tend to get quite bored, when  you have the same learning method,

but with Busuu, you get to  watch videos, listen to audio,

read texts and practise your pronunciations

and have it reviewed by the fellow native users.

A great feature is its study plan,

which helps keep me motivated and not overwhelm me

with unrealistic goals.

So we're all busy people, I imagine,

and we need to set our own times for learning

And Busuu recognises this and it is really great

at breaking down everything  into achievable lessons

and to help keep you motivated and engaged.

So click on this link,

which is also in the description below,

to quickly take to Busuu

and help you start learning a language for free.

Now back to the episode.

I'm going to play like,  devil's advocate right now.

Let's say you're not in a group

and you're not doing anything  which is particularly rehearsed.

Let's say, you're on a date for this scenario,

with someone that you think; oh,  I'd love to be with that person,

but you have just, crippling  anxiety about this kind of thing.

Smile a lot. - Yeah? - Yeah.

Smile a lot and tell yourself  that you are confident, really.

Stand tall, always stand tall;

the way that you walk's really important, I think.

And eye contact; you must make eye  contact at all time, I would say.

Not look away, but make eye contact, yeah. - Okay.

Stand tall and make eye... so lots  of physical... - Physicalit...

The way you enter a room's really important.

The way you stand is important.

Yeah, you can deceive somebody  that you're really confident, yeah.

I was a drama teacher in the inner city,

in White Chapel, for 33 years.

So I spent a life giving children...  inner city kids; challenging,  

confidence, the belief that  the answers lie within them.

The transformation of the self.

And if you want to read more about it, plug it!

Shameless!

''IN SEARCH: Reimagining What  It Means To Be A Teacher'',

Daniel Shindler; you can get  in ''Amnesty'', in Brighton,

in the North Laine, get it  now, loads of advice there.

In my world, I feel very nervous  around talking to new people,

'cos you always have that... kind of, am I...

am I any good at what I do and  I don't think that ever goes,

I don't think it ever leaves you.

But what I've learnt, is to listen, really well,

to the way people are talking.

Even with... like now,  obviously, a lot of it's online.

But look at people, look at the room they're in,

look at the space they're taking up and just...

just try and picture how that  conversation is going to go.

And obviously, the best  thing is age and experience,

in a lot of ways. Because, you  understand different types of people

have different needs. But if the person that I...

if I've got a new client, for example,

I will try to get to know  them, ask them questions,

keep it fairly light.

Make sure I feel comfortable in my space,

especially on things like ''Zoom''.

So, make sure it's tidy, all that boring stuff,

that always... you always think; Oh!

But actually, if you feel confident in your space,

then that will help that conversation.

So, say for new clients,

I'll make sure my office looks nice and tidy,

that I'm having a conversation that I feel...

about things I know about.

So, yeah. - Fantastic, that was really great.

Well kind of recently, I did  have to like present things to...

to my class, 'cos erm... in college.

And, I had to present things to like,

put myself forward as a candidate.

And so, I just kind of, stood up  there and just tried to say like,

I'm... I'm really great for being a candidate,

even though I knew that I wasn't  the best suited candidate.

But it worked anyway, I did get...

I was nominated to be a class representative,

even though I probably wasn't the best person.

I have to do a lot of speaking to...

to groups of people and hosting meetings.

And even now, after years of doing it,

before every single meeting,  I get that feeling of anxiety,

it's the same people I deal with  every time, it's the same subjects

and I always start with that anxiety,

that kind of, panic of; Oh,  what if I say the wrong thing?

What if something goes wrong?

The confidence comes when I step up there,

I always start with a little kind of, maybe,

a little anecdote or a little erm...

breaking the ice with a joke,  maybe, that's always good.

And that relaxes me more than anything.

And then, the confidence there,

comes where I can speak about the  subjects we need to speak about

and get the point across.

Oh right, so you think of... you've sort of,

put into place something which you've...

not rehearsed as much, but you know the...

you know where the story goes. - Yes.

Yeah, the hardest part is  starting, I think, with confidence.

Right, yeah. - Once you get  involved and start doing it,

whether it's on the karaoke machine,

or whether it's in front  of... in front of your class,

speaking about a subject or reading from the book,

that first line will always be the  most uncomfortable you will be.

Once you break that barrier,  you will gain in confidence,

you... you'll speak better,  you'll... you'll talk better,

you'll present yourself better.

And it's all about that first little bit,

getting through that, I think.

That's really good, are  you... do you do the karaoke?

Sometimes.

Nice.

Thanks for watching this week's episode.

Let us know in the comments below

your tips and tricks on building confidence

or appearing more confident.

Also, let us know in the comments below

if you like the fact that we appear in the videos

and give our opinion. D'you  wanna see it more in the future,

or do you wanna see less of me in the future?

Let us know.

And we'll see you next week,

bye.