Brits Give SMALL TALK Advice | Easy English 128

Is that with extra cream and marshmallows?

Or is that with... just plain?

And is it with oat milk? Or is it with soya milk,

or is it with normal milk?

Hot.

Cold.

It's too hot.

Too cold.

Too wet.

Too dry.

I find that British people are very...

they don't take compliments very well.

Oh my God, that jacket;  that's really cool. - Nice.

Where did you get that?

Where can I get it?

Oh, it looks really good on you.

Hiya, welcome to Easy English.

So this week, I wanted to approach  the subject of small talk.

I want to know what the people  of Britain talk about the most,

while they're waiting in the queue at the shops,

or for a bus.

I wanted to know, what is appropriate

and inappropriate small talk.

Before we get started,

if you're a fan of Easy English,

then please don't forget to  like and subscribe to us.

Here we go.

What in your opinion, is good,

or appropriate, maybe let's say, small talk?

Something that interests you,

something that's your passion. - Okay.

So you might meet somebody at the bus stop

and have a chinwag about gardens,

or you might talk about the weather.

But my passion personally, is gardens.

What, in your opinion, is good small talk.

The weather is probably a really safe thing

to talk about in the UK. - Yeah.

Because, it's always horrible,

which is always something  to complain about. - Yeah.

Or it's a nice day, which is really exciting.

And so everyone goes; ''oh my God, the sun is out,

the clouds are gone, oh my God!''

And that excites people, a lot,

since the weather is awful, a lot of the time.

Let's say that, I don't know you

and we're standing at a bus stop.

We're like; oh hi, how's it going?

And then you say like; ''yeah  not bad thanks, how are you?''

Then when it becomes a bit  like, stale and a bit awkward,

the first thing you go to  is to whether, you think?

Oh I'd say probably the weather, yeah.

I'd say; oh, isn't it like, a nice day today,

or what a strange... you  know, day it is, you know,

because it might have been  raining, it might have been sunny,

might just, yeah... or might  have had a thunderstorm.

So, probably go straight to the weather.

And then, I'd also, if we were waiting for a bus,

I'd probably say;

ah, thank goodness that the  bus is here in... 3 minutes.

We can all, you know, get to where you want to be.

Ah, that's clever. So you'd apply some sort of,

small talk in the sort of, common ground?

Yeah, in the like, yeah.

In where I would say like, yeah.

Say, if we're at a bus stop, or say, if we on a...

I dunno, in a...

waiting for a queue in like,  'Costa', for example. I'd say...

I'll say; I'm here for a  coffee. Are you here for coffee?

Yep? Oh, brilliant! And a hot chocolate?

Oh okay, right, yeah yeah.

Is that with extra cream and marshmallows?

Or is that with... just plain?

And is it with oat milk? Or is it with soya milk,

or is it with normal milk? - That's fantastic.

Er... appropriate small talk would be;

obviously, the weather; the Brits  are obsessed by the weather.

Hot, cold, too hot, to cold, too wet, too dry.

General small talk, especially during now,

is are you going on holiday? - Ah, yeah.

Have you been away? Especially with the lockdown,

everyone's despe... desperate to get away. - Nice.

Then we like to talk about politics, quite a lot.

Oh really!? - Yeah. Find out about, you know,

who someone... are you pro...  pro-Johnson? Anti-Johnson?

What's going on with Brexit, is also a good sm...

Well, not a good bit of small...

it's what we like to talk about.

So anything that's kind of like, current

and that we don't have control over, basically.

I would have thought that politics...

they all say like; oh never  mention politics. - Oh right, okay.

But maybe... but maybe,  you can go into a bit more,

because I would like to know then;

what is sort of unacceptable small talk?

Maybe you shouldn't go into;  what... who did you vote for?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.  - What would you class as...

What things would you never  sort of, use as small talk?

It's a good question, because I think if your...

if I'm having a conversation  with somebody about politics

and then it goes into Brexit,

and then people start saying;

''are you pro-Brexit or anti-Brexit? - Right.

And then it's like, oh...

and then, you know, I've been in  conversations with people before,

when it's gone into Brexit

and then people start talking very inappropriately

about immigrants and... and then you're just like;

Oh! - Okay. - People think  that you're... with them.

You're like opening up your  arms a but too much. - Yeah!

People... well people just  think that you're with them,

if they're like, pro-Brexit  and they start talking about

how we should be, you know,

inappropriately talking about  stopping immigrants from coming in

and then suddenly your like, that's really not...

yeah, my jam. - Yeah, okay.

It's sort of, overstepped the line.

But where... where is that line?

Is it sort of, going to your  own personal feelings or?

Yeah, yeah. I think it is.

Well, I think it's about, in the  same way that it would be like;

well, who did you vote for?

And then, if somebody you're  talking to is against your beliefs,

then suddenly it goes from  small talk into like, a debate.

And then it just gets a bit...

What kind of small talk do you  do when you approach someone?

If I was to approach someone,

I would ask them, how their day was.

I would ask them what the weather's been like and,

you know, things like that.

I'd say like; you know, what's the weather...

what do you think about the weather today?

I'll just ask them... yeah, how their day was,

if they've had a nice day,

if they've been up to anything nice recently.

If I was stood next to you at a bus stop

and I sort of... we sort of, made eye contact

I'd say; oh hello, how are you?

What... would you firstly go; oh...

what would you say? How... how  would it go, our conversation?

Oh yeah, I'd say; yeah, I'm very well, thanks.

And how are you? And er...  - Yeah, very good, thanks.

Very good. And if you're from another country,

I'd ask them, where they're from.

Ah Yeah. - Is this (your) first visit to Brighton?

Ah, that's a good one. - 'Cos,  we used to host students,

so erm... from other countries,

so it's nice to know where they're from,

how long they're going to be here.

Say I bump into you at bus stop.

After we've sort of, said hello to each other,

If we sort of, catch each others eye contact,

Do you first like something  like; oh, nice day innit?

Usually, you'd start off with,

in general, I usually just  like, try complimenting people.

So I go; oh my God, that jacket,  that's really cool! - Nice.

Where did you get that? Why can I get it?

Oh, it looks really good on  you. Like, that kind of thing.

Or like, complementing people's hair or like,

glasses or something. - It's  interesting you say that.

Because, my next question was going to be around,

kind of, what is appropriate?

Because, I also would say, that I don't mind

if people give me a compliment, but then,

what is like, too much? What  is something you shouldn't...

because you're saying about kind of,

personal, character traits, right? - Yeah.

Which is kind of, on the edge  of maybe where the line is.

Where... where would you think the line is?

I'd generally say, if it's something the person

has clearly personalised for themselves.

So not something that they can't change,

such as body type or skin  colour or maybe even eye colour.

But if you say; those  glasses, they're really nice,

that's a very different compliment from;

oh, you have beautiful eyes. - Right, I see.

Or erm... I really love the  way you've done your hair,

that can be a bit...

But yeah, I'd say generally something that

someone has clearly personalised about themselves

and they've made a conscious effort for.

What is too far? Like, what  would you never sort of,

bring up in small talk?

I'd probably... oh sorry. - No, no, go on, sorry.

I probably wouldn't ask too much,

I'd probably just keep it like, to the minimum,

I wouldn't... I wouldn't say, maybe, things like;

you don't know what's gone on with people's pasts.

I probably wouldn't ask anything about family,

in case like, a relative recently died,

or, maybe they don't even have family.

So I'll probably just keep it to like basic,

you know, conversation.

Something along the lines  of like, yeah, the weather,

maybe the situation, but have a little bit of,

you know, maybe a little bit of banter,

but not too much, because it might offend someone,

you obviously don't know  what's gone on in their life.

So you keep it outside of the  realm of personality or...

character. - Yes. Or say if  like, they've got pink hair,

I might say like; you've got very cool pink hair.

Oh, okay. - Or like, a nice denim jacket,

might ask where they've got the denim jacket from

and that's probably about it. - Very good.

'Cos I don't want to offend anyone.

Say like, I wanted to give you a compliment

about your hair or about...

in terms of like, physicalit... in terms of like,

the character traits or... yeah,  character traits, let's say.

Yeah. - Where could you draw the  line? Where would the line be?

What's acceptable?

Can I give you a compliment  in small talk? Is that okay?

I think, definitely.

I think compliments... personally,

I think compliments are always good. - Okay.

You'll find... I find, that  British people are very er...

they don't take compliments very well.

So, for example, if you said;

''I like your hair'', I'd go;

Oh, it's... it's a mess. It's a mess.

Oh no, it's... oh, I need it... it needs cutting,

or it's dry or it's this...

Are there any subjects you just can't approach,

when it comes to small talk?

Well, you wouldn't get too personal, would you?

In what way? - Well, about your  life, too much about your life.

What goes on in your life.

You wouldn't ask someone about  what? Like, their parents?

Or about their... - Only if I knew them. - Yeah.

Not small talk with someone  at a bus stop. - No? - No.

Just; how you doing? And, off you go.

What you up to today,  basically? Is a good one? Yeah.

That's nice. - Just keep it simple.

And then how far, is too far, in  terms of small talk, d'you think?

Well obviously, is to say;  ''oh, you look sexy in that'',

or... - Okay, yeah. - ''you look hot in that'',

if it's a girl and er... a bloke say;

''yeah, you... you look a bit odd in that''.

That'd be sort of, inappropriate. Not very...

Hopefully, that's obvious to people. - Yeah.

So maybe, clothing wise, say they're  wearing a nice jacket. - Yeah.

For women, it can be a little bit harder,

'cos there are a lot of very creepy people.

So say, if you're complimenting a top,

I'd say the top has to be worth  giving compliments to. - Right!

Rather than just saying;  ''you have a really nice top''

and staring at it.

Whereas, if you're wearing, I  don't know, a 'SpongeBob' top,

you go; ''oh, that's a really  cool 'SpongeBob' top''. - Yeah.

So where it's kind of, worth  complimenting, sort of,

and the person has clearly put some thought

and effort into it, a little bit.

Thanks for watching this week's episode.

Please write in the comments below,

any advice you have for good small talk subjects

and we'll see you next week, te-ra.