British People Give Advice on Mental Health | Easy English 79

Hello, welcome to Easy English. So today,  I'm on the beach to find out how important

mental health is to Brits,  and how they maintain it.

Let's go.   

How do you look after your mental health?   Well, you caught me here on my lunch time walk,

which I use for my mental health.   I work at home, as a lot people are,

I’m sitting in front of a computer  for eight hours a day in my bedroom.

So, to stop me bouncing off  the walls (of) that bedroom,

I realise I need to get outside,  even if it's just quarter of an hour,

half an hour, an hour. Erm…  sometimes I forget, and by Wednesday,

I'm snapping at the children,  I'm not a nice person.

So I try and get out on this lovely walk,

we live in a wonderful place by the sea,

and just having a stroll just clears your head,

lets your thoughts drift away a bit.  

And that, I find really helps. The  best way for me to manage mental health,

is to make sure I'm doing bit  of exercise, so I'm eating well,

I'm doing exercise and I'm keeping  contact with the people that I love. So,  

whether its messaging or  meeting up with, for coffee,

some friends or family. How do you maintain your  mental health? – That’s a very good question!

I think, as you get older and I'm well over sixty,

I think as you get older,  your brain needs more and more

and more exercise, so the fact that  your teaching foreign languages

I think is brilliant for anyone,  anyone at any age to consider,

but especially the over fifties and sixties,

because it has been proven over and over again,

that learning a new skill  can actually help prevent

your memory really deteriorating. How  do you look after your mental health?

So for me, I think… so my job’s  quite stressful, first and foremost,

so I'm quite big on having a  separation between my professional life

and my personal life, particularly  in the last twelve months,

when I've had to work from home, every day,

having that distinction between  professional and personal

has been quite important to me.  And also, I exercise quite a lot,

I do find that if I’ve gone a week or two without

doing too much exercise, my… I’m  sure you… you’ll vouch for this;

my mood starts to… sort of, I…  I go within myself a little bit

and then I think, it only…  it's only from experience

that I now realise that that's like, the  trigger. I think for me, the two most important  

things that I've identified

that keep me healthy is erm… my  physical health and being active

and having some sort of hobby  that I can get my teeth into

and have targets and things  like that and measure progress.

Erm… and see that there's  some kind of relevance and…

and usefulness to my time being  spent, I think that's quite good.

and the other one is relationships  and people around me.

So, my partner and friends and things like that,

I think that's also time  that's well spent and valuable

to us as individuals for our own health.   

I think talking about it to you  know, someone comfortable with

is the nicest way, I'd say. You know like,

if one of us is struggling we  just kind of, tell each other

and the other can help. What do you say?

Yeah, I just talk to people and be  honest with the closest you have.

Like family or friends? – Yeah, family, friends,

girlfriend or boyfriend, just talk. Right well,  I think there are a number of aspects to it.

Erm… one connected with where  I am at the moment is the er…

the physical side of it and through  er… walking erm… on a regular basis,

but that entails also… sometimes,  being with a group of people

and engaging in conversation  erm… every… everyday conversation

and that to some people er… who live alone.

I don't actually live alone,  have been happily married

for nearly fifty years but you know,

a lot of people who come on  these walks do live alone,

spend a lot of time alone, but  er… something like a health walk

gives folk the opportunity to come  out and meet other people on a…

on a regular basis and combine  physical and mental activity.   

I'm a bit more of the lis...  look after the little things.

So for me, I have a bath every day.  Like, on… completely on my own,

put on candles and just sit,  at whatever time that is.

And sometimes that’s at like  eight o’clock in the morning,

sometimes it's a lunch  time. - Very Blanche Dubois.

Yeah, and sometimes it’s late  at night and I think as well,

I am very open about how I feel about things.

So if I'm you know, I'm feeling low,  I'll talk to my friends about it,

or you, or my family and again  I've been, quite fortunate I think,

being open with it, has really helped, generally.

And yeah, I think the little  things like, for example,

my favourite tea in the world is jacket potato.

So if I’m like, if I have  a day where I feel rubbish,

I go home, have a bath, have a jacket  potato and just take some time,

just on my own. What would you prioritise more?

Do you see physical health being  more of a priority or metal health?

Oh, that’s so difficult, well  I think one leads to the other.

I don't think you can have good  mental health without physical health.

And I don't think and I'm no expert,

although I am a qualified nutritionist,

I don't think there is anything  better than a walk by the sea

and fresh air. And you know, if you're stressed;

we're all stressed, everybody is  feeling despondent at the moment.

It's not… we've had a very unhappy  time for nearly eighteen months,

so we're all suffering from  some sort of mental downturn

and I think that every expert  would agree that the more exercise

you can do, preferably out in  nature, the better you’ll feel.

So I think one can’t go without the other.

Yeah, okay, I have one more  question. - And plenty of sleep.

And sleep yeah, that’s super important.   

Why include walking in this? Like,  why are you not just meeting in like,

a… yeah, like, a building or  something? - Oh right, very good.

Well there are some people who like sitting down

in pubs and coffee erm… lounges.

And there are others who  like to be a bit more dynamic

‘cos they’re erm… they’re engaging and er… yeah,

I… I think most people like  the combination of the physical

and the mental. – And is there a  correlation between mental health

and physical heath, you think? –  Well, I think… I think there is, yes,

that they… they do go along with each other

and maybe one causes a bit more  of the other and visa-verse.   

How important do you find your  mental health compared to say,

something like your physical health? - I think.

Is it on a par or is it more  important? - I'd say more,

but I think ‘cos… because, you  know, if you've got a broken leg,

you can go to the doctor but it's  kind of more difficult to you know,

kind of, tell someone how you're  feeling and make them understand

that it's not just like, you know,  

you’re a bit sad. And interesting you mention  about er… the work to life kind of, divide.

Yeah. – Erm… because I think  this is actually quite a big one

for most people. How… How’ve you  managed to sort of, separate it?

Yes so, it's been quite difficult,

I think when I was going into the  office it… you leave and ultimately,

sometime… occasionally, I  might log on later on but,

it would be few and far between.  whereas now, it's so easy to just;

I'm on my laptop I go and have dinner,  come back and still on my laptop.

And that delineation between  personal and your personal life

and professional is… is quite hard to maintain.

But I think since… it’s sort of,  setting your own boundaries I think.

It’s like; I'm not going to do anymore tonight,

my laptops going away and  it's… there is a distinction

between I'm now not at work,  even though I'm most likely

sat in the exact same seat that I’ve been sat in

for the remainder of the day. –  So, you physically put away things?

Yeah, I think yeah. – Deter yourself?  - Yes I do actually, don’t I?

And we set times, don’t we? -  Yeah. – We set times for like,

first… first cocktail or whatever  on a Friday night at this time.

Exactly yeah. – Like, just  small, really small things?

Yeah I do, I put my laptop's  like, on the desk, folded up…

you get so annoyed with me.  But like, fold up the charges,

put them into a draw so they  are physically out of sight,

out of mind. – Eat the key? - Yeah.   

Is talking about mental health  something that you’ve… you know,

it’s kind of become a new  thing in England, really.

There’s been more light shed on it, right?

But have you always felt that you’re  able to speak about it, openly?

Yeah, yeah, I think because I've  always had quite open parents,

we've… we've been securely brought up.

I've never had an issue with mental myself,

apart from just being a little  bit down every now and then,

more from tiredness I think. But  yeah, I can speak openly about it

and um… I was teaching in Mexico and  we did mindfulness with my children

who were… between the ages  of five and eight and we…

we openly spoke about mental  health over there as well.

So I think it's something that you can speak…

if you speak openly about it with other people

then they'll be honest and open about it with you.

Oh right, and would that kind of,  be your advice to someone maybe,

yeah, I know that in England  there’s a big thing with like, men.

This is like, the big problem; that men can’t…

it’s hard for men to find an outlet  to deal with it right? – Yeah.

Is that kind of, advice you’d give like,

to focus on the physical health,  is that a big part of it?

Well yeah, I think for me, if I'm  looking after my… my physical health,

then my mental health seems better.  I seem happier, more rested,

sleeps a massive part of it as well.

So if you're rested and sleeping  then, you're feeling better.

I'm just focusing on sleep  ‘cos I've got a new baby so,

that's the most important thing, I think.

Get some sleep, exercise,  speak to people you love.   

What is it about men? Let’s  start with that. – Okay.

That makes like, mental health  such a faux pas compared to women?

Yeah, nice easy question for  me. – Well, in your opinion.

Yeah, I know. – Why is it such  a weird… a struggle for men

to get involved in mental health?

I think it's probably just our  culture and the way we’re brought up.

And I have seen, in my lifetime  that changing, for the better,

where men are encouraged to be  more expressive or more vulnerable

with their feelings. But, you  know, I was born in the sixties

and growing up through the sort  of, seventies, eighties era,

men were kind of, discouraged or boys  were discouraged from crying even.

Whereas, I think now, men are almost  encouraged to do that by you know,

iconic masculine men on podcasts  and TV programmes and that.

And we're kind of seeing a more,  what I probably would have described

in the past as a European approach  to raising er… boys and men,

as opposed to a stiff upper  lip British way of doing it,

where it's all about stifling  your emotions and pretending

they don't exist. Now we're  addressing them and we're free

to express them and I think that is  a healthier way, for two reasons.

One, people get a good positive  example of how to behave.

And two, we can actually identify  in our loved ones and our friends

if we… if something's not quite right. You know,

whereas if they hide it and bury it, we…

we don't get an opportunity  to do that and you know,

sadly it's too late for some  people before we can identify it

and step in… in and help. What advice  would you give to, more men, who maybe are…

there’s more of a tradition to  sort of, swallow your feelings and…

Yeah. - It's a… it's a bit…  it seems there’s a change,

but… but it's, still there are men  who are still not quite finding ways

to… or finding outlets to deal with mental health.

Yeah I’d… I'd say that yeah, a lot  of it's kind of your upbringing,

depending on what age you are, I'm  hoping younger men are getting better

at it, I don't know. I'm not a younger  man, but my generation and above,

yes we… we do… we do struggle to talk about it.

But I think, do not go out  with the intention of saying;

I'm going to talk about mental  health problems, just talk.

And even if it's just about  your watching something

or you're just talking about nonsense,

that is effectively helping your  mental health. So don't think…

don't try and put a specific box  around this conversation, just talk.

Which is difficult in the last year or so,

because we have been able to meet up  and doing things on ''Zoom'' calls

or by phone is challenging, but where possible,

just meet up with people and talk.  Don't put a label on it, I think.

That probably helped me. Yeah, I  really don't know I… I have like,

gone out of my way in certain ways to say like;

you can chat about that sort  of stuff. But, I think it's…

it's different to me providing  a… an offer that probably,

will never be taken up, to them actually thinking

that's a genuine thing that they can.

Is it about doing something like, you do your run…

like you run or whate… or  play football. Is that like…

Yeah, I suppose it doesn't necessarily  have to always be verbal does it,

in terms of… - But maybe, I’m saying like,

is that a way to bring out the  verbal side? By doing something,

you know what I mean? – Yeah.  – Men are such hobbyists,

you know what I mean? – Yeah, it’s  so true. Like, my oldest friend,

whenever we meet up, we’ll like,  go for a jog together or whatever

and that is where we'll have a chat.

Like, historically when  we’re talking about, I dunno,

like girls or whatever when we were younger.

I’m sure you still talk about girls.  – No but, you know what I mean?

When you’re just like; Oh, do you  like, fancy this girl or whatever.

But then it opened up like,  a more of a deeper chat

and that would always be facilitated by us like,

going playing football together, just like,

the two of us or going for a  jog or going for a walk even,

it is just like, it's hard to say;  do you want to come for a chat,

weirdly. Whereas; do you want to  come… - Even though it shouldn’t be.

No, I know. But, do you want  to come and play football?

Yes, and then we'll end up  chatting and not really…

we’ll just be kicking the ball and  not really concentrating about that.

And the the other thing I think  is difficult with men as well,

and I found this particularly, because  I love going to the pub as well.

But all the kind of, social  occasions that we have,

revolve around alcohol, which  in itself is not a particularly

healthy environment for talking  about emotions or mental health

or anything like that.

And I think it's quite  difficult to move away from that

because that's what we've always  done, is we’ll go to the pub.

And then you start talking about football,

it’ll be on the screen or whatever  and you don't actually end up talking

about things that are… yeah, on  the front of people's minds.   

We're all individuals and we’re…  we all tick differently, I think.

I think first and foremost, I  would just encourage everybody

to trust and believe that  it's okay to have emotions,

they are completely natural and  normal and to show them is okay,

you know? Nowadays, society  doesn't look negatively at a man

feeling upset or depressed  or crying or asking for help,

so it's totally fine to do  that, it is okay to do that.

And I encourage everybody to do that, In terms of,

what would be the best outlet for… for people,

I think that's an individual  thing you know, like I say,

I thrive on physical activity  and that really helps me erm…

to keep a balance. But for others,  you know, could be anything right?

Could be creativity or it  could be talking to somebody

or it could be just getting  better and more sleep, who knows.

But I would encourage  everybody to feel comfortable

with expressing yourself er… to  somebody, even if it's like a GP.

If you've got no family or  friends you want to speak to,

talk to a GP or you know, talk to a counsellor

or talk to the Samaritans. There’s a… there's a…

a wide range of avenues to go down, definitely.

It’s okay to talk, that's my main message.   Thanks for watching this week's episode,

let me know in the comments below  how you maintain your mental health

and what advice you’d give someone  and we’ll see you next week, bye.