How NOT to Learn English

That's my plane about to take off because I'm on my way to Cambodia.

Hi, it's James from EngVid.

Just choosing between these two books if you saw the other video.

See, I like doing this referencing thing, the other video, because it means you have

to go back to the website and check to see what I'm talking about, because I don't lie,

it's there.

I've done over 50 videos.

I'm sure you'll find it somewhere.

So that was my plane leaving because I was in a hair's breadth of being late.

Anyway, today is a special lesson.

It's one of my favorites.

This is part one.

I'll be doing others.

This lesson is based upon the mistakes I see students make all the time, but it's not just

the mistakes, because students make mistakes.

What's important about this lesson is how they think these mistakes are going to help

them be good at English, no matter what the teacher tells them, okay?

So this lesson today is "How Not to Learn English", part one.

It'll be a 20-part series.

No, it won't be 20 parts, 10-part series.

Management's telling me this is the only part of the series.

Sorry.

"How Not to Learn English", it's a bad joke.

All right.

Mr. E refused to do this lesson because he has spent his entire time working 51 times

that I know of so far, that's just so far, effortlessly, tirelessly, to make sure you

learn English.

So he got his evil cousin, Evil E, okay?

So Evil E is going to teach, "Yeah, I speak to you.

I will teach you the bad ways to learn English."

Yeah.

See, he's got a little evil mustache and bad hair.

That's how you know he's bad.

All right, so step one, "How Not to Learn English".

Notice red is for the color of blood and danger, so don't think, "Oh yes, I take notes.

I get very good."

This is the opposite.

Do not do, all right?

Watch and repeat everything from TV, movies, and etc.

"I once had a student who almost got into a fight."

"Why?"

you might say.

"Why did the student get into a fight?"

Well, there's this really bad word in English, which was on a rap song, and he was on the

subway going, "Bada, kill them, bada, kill them, beep, beep, kill them, beep, beep, beep,

kill them."

And one of these people happened to be on the subway, and all he heard was my students

go, "Kill them, kill them."

And the man got up and went, "You say that one more time, I'm going to..."

Luckily, my student said, "I just repeat the music."

He didn't know that what they were saying was bad, because in his culture, it means

nothing.

In our culture...

So, just repeat.

Another thing I love is the McDonald's commercial in Canada.

Yes.

"I'm lovin' it, I'm lovin' it, I'm lo..."

Read a grammar book.

You can't say that.

"I love it."

But students say and go, "But McDonald's tell me, 'I'm lovin' it' is good English, because

I am lovin' it."

It's like, "No, McDonald's is selling bad food."

Sorry.

"McDonald's is selling food.

It's not bad."

Don't sue me, Ronald, okay?

It's lovely.

Get a Happy Meal.

"McDonald's is just trying to sell you food, so they're just changing the language to make

it work for them.

It doesn't work for you."

Try going for a job at the bank going, "I'm lovin' working in your company."

You won't get the job.

Okay?

Especially if it's a bank or something.

Maybe if you're working for McDonald's, they'll hire you.

"I'm lovin' it."

They go, "Yes, you love it.

Buy it and work here."

Okay.

Now, here's my other favorite thing.

Electronic translators.

This is not electronic, but I've got nothing else.

I'll be sitting teaching in a classroom.

I swear to you, I'm teaching like this, live.

See how good this is?

You're watching me, right?

You're not eating snacks.

You're not doing anything nasty.

I don't even want to go there.

But, I mean, you're just paying attention to what I'm teaching you because it's so important.

I have students in my classroom, and they're paying money for me to speak to them.

I will be speaking, and they're like, "Okay."

Meanwhile, I have spoken about for 10 minutes, they've written one sentence in their machine,

and 20 minutes later, they'll go, "Teacher, 20 minutes ago, you said this word.

What does this mean?

It's not in my machine."

I'm like, "Dude, that was 20 minutes ago."

They use their translator.

Quick story, true story.

One day, one of my students got into an argument with me.

They were like, "This is a very good machine.

It is better.

I need this machine."

Because I told them, "Use a paper dictionary," and they were like, "No, no, no."

So I got two students, and they were both from the same country, so it was perfect.

I gave one the paper dictionary.

I gave the other one, I said, "Use your translator."

Then I said to them, "Find the word 'obsequious'."

"Obsequious," okay, no problem.

So they're looking for this word.

The computer guy, translator, five seconds, done.

He goes, "Teacher, I know the answer."

I go, "Good."

I said, "Wait."

And he's waiting, okay?

So remember, he's got the machine.

It closes down.

The other student, "Oh, how do you spell it?"

So I explain.

"Oh," this goes on for, like, five minutes.

Finally, the student reads it and says, "The answer is this."

I say to the student, I go, "Good, good."

I turn to the student with the translator, and I say to them, I said, "Do you remember

what this word means?"

The student quickly picks up the translator, I go, "Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Put it down.

Tell me what it means."

And what happens with the student?

This is what's quite funny.

The student then goes, "I don't know," and I go, "Of course you don't.

Your brain is very smart.

If you can press a button and get the answer, your brain will do this.

It makes sense.

It's not going to remember it because it's easier to do this."

Now, the student with the paper dictionary, this was different.

Why?

Because the student with the paper dictionary, you know what happened with them?

Well, they had to remember because it was so difficult, their brain said, "Remember

this, because it took you five minutes to find it.

It's very difficult."

And the second thing was this.

As they were reading, they were reading and learning new words.

They had no choice.

They were like, "O, B, B, B, no, no."

So the benefit was they tried to remember it, not the first time, but you start remembering

because it's too difficult to search for it.

And the second thing was they learned other words.

Well, this person, when they watched the lesson in five minutes, they said, "I got it.

If I want to remember English, I've got to put this away and use my brain.

It's the best machine out there.

All right.

I don't have much time, so I've got to make this fast, so you've got to pay attention

because I'm going to do something impossible.

I'm going to speak slowly and teach quickly."

Now, talk only to people from your language group.

Here's what the problem with this is.

Your language group, you know, you speak the same language, you have the same grammar set,

so you'll use English in the same kind of grammar that you would use in your language.

Now, of course, they speak the same way you do, so it's understandable.

But if you take the same language, let's take, for instance, a person from Japan and a person

from Mexico both speaking English.

If they use Japanese grammar for the Japanese person, using English words, and the Spanish

person uses, or the Mexican person uses Spanish grammar with his English words, they won't

understand each other.

They'll look at each other and go, "What are you talking about?"

As soon as they use English-only grammar, instant understanding, right?

So a lot of people go, "I talk to people from my country.

They understand me fine."

I go, "Of course they do.

They speak badly as well."

Their language, perfect, but not your English, okay?

Now, next.

This is my favorite one.

I love this one.

This is great.

I'll be teaching something, and I'll let students talk together in a classroom, and invariably,

that means sooner than later, it's going to happen, okay?

One student will go...

I go, "That's bad English."

They go, "They know what I'm saying."

And now, if you notice, I put a star.

It's bad English.

Don't repeat it.

James didn't teach you this.

Remember, this is the not-to-do thing.

They go, "They know what I'm saying.

They understand me."

I go, "Yeah, but you're all learning English.

You don't pay to learn bad English."

Now, you're saying, "I know, but EngVid is free.

Why can't I speak?"

I go, "Because here, you're spending something more important, and I'm being serious here.

You're spending more important things than money.

Let other people spend money.

You're spending your time.

So, if you're going to spend your time, learn it properly.

You can replace money.

You cannot replace your time or your life, okay?

So, serious, no.

So, if you're going to take the time to study, take the time to study it correctly so you

don't say, "They understanding what I am saying now.

They understand what I'm saying."

Okay?

So, that's number four.

And number five, here's my favorite.

I have people -- I'm in Canada -- who fly from Cambodia -- not Nepal, I lie.

I haven't been to Nepalese.

But Russia.

Hmm.

Russian women.

Anyway.

Russia.

Japan.

Korea.

Hmm.

Korean food.

India.

Not so many Indians.

But from all over the world, I have students.

And then, I will be -- I have a habit on Fridays, and if you're a student of mine, you know

this is true, and you can tell them.

Every Friday, I bring in cookies.

And I bring in these wafer cookies because they're typical Canadian food.

And I have students who fly from across the world -- imagine, flying in an airplane.

You know, dangerous thing they can die in.

And then, I offer them a cookie.

And they go, "No."

And I go, "Why?"

"It's not my food."

And I'm trying to explain to them, "Here's the deal.

Culture is language.

Language is culture.

We use words in a certain way to get across our logic, our understanding, our beliefs.

When you don't take part of the culture, you cannot understand the words necessarily."

My favorite example -- and I'll make it quick, because it's true about me -- "Zu spät."

"Zu spät."

German.

It means, "Too late."

You're not late.

You're too late.

If you're one second late, you're too late.

In English, you're just late.

Our cultures are different.

For Germans, being late -- there's no such thing as late.

It's on time, or it's too late.

In English, it's on time, it's late, then it can be too late.

Our perspectives on time, our way we see time, is a little bit different.

If you don't understand that, you're not going to get business from Germans, because you're

like, "It's one second."

They're like, "Es zu late!"

But in Canada, we'll go, "Okay, it's late."

You got to understand that, right?

So keep that in mind.

When you come to a country, if you're going to fly away from your country and spend thousands

of dollars, try the food, try the culture, then you'll understand, and when the words

come together, it'll make more sense to you.

Like when someone says to you, you know, "Have a hair of the dog that bit you last night,"

you'll get it, because you partake.

You go into our culture.

You might have a drink, but if you don't do that, how will you know what it means when

they say it to you, and you wouldn't get it, right?

So you're going to take the time to learn, learn it properly.

Anyway, I don't get serious often, but I'm out of time.

Remember, these are things not to do by the evil E. Evil E, get it?

It's cool.

Right?

Watch and repeat everything you hear from TV.

Don't even think about it, just repeat.

"I saw some rap gangster say it, so therefore it must be cool, yeah?"

Yeah, but you're not a rap gangster.

If you're a Russian immigrant, forget about it, okay?

Use your electronic translator.

If this was Star Trek, this would be fantastic, because the translator would actually translate

accurately, and you would know exactly how to speak.

"Notice I sound like a robot, Mr. Spock.

Therefore I don't recommend you do this," okay?

Talk only to people from your language group.

So anyways, without thinking that we are going to do this, what do you think?

"I think this is good, yeah?"

You people speak the same and think the same.

You've got to leave it to understand something different, right?

Okay.

Where are we?

Number four.

Please repeat this all the time.

They know what I'm saying, okay?

They know what I'm saying.

Just by saying it, it means you don't speak English, and if they understand it, they don't

speak English.

You should stop talking to them.

Try and get a group of people that speak English, and try nothing from their culture.

That's not just about learning English, it's about any language you want to learn.

When you try something from a culture, it makes you a deeper, richer person.

Makes you more interesting.

Funny enough, if you're more interesting, people want to talk to you, especially English

people.

Ooh.

Anyway, here's what I want you to do.

So do not -- this is not part of the "not" lesson.

This is the thing I want you to do, okay?

So let's get rid of this there quickly, because we've got to get out of here.

This is good Mr. E, okay?

This is what he wants you to do.

We want you to learn how to learn English.

How are you going to do that?

Go to www.engvid.com, where you'll find myself and some other teachers happy to help you

learn English.

It's been fun.

It's been a slice.

Got to go.

It's been nice.

Rhymed.

See you soon.

Learn English for free www.engvid.com