Improve your Vocabulary: Stop saying OKAY!

"Bale, bale, bale, bale, bale, bale, bale."

True story.

Stop saying "okay".

Okay?

True story.

I was in Spain, Natalia - I love you - visiting a friend, and she was talking to her father

on the phone, and all I heard was "Bale, bale, bale, bale, bale, bale, bale, bale, bale".

And I knew exactly what she was talking about.

She was saying "okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay".

And just from the tone and knowing what that word meant, I knew the conversation without

hearing another word.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I just said stop saying "okay", okay?

The last video I did saying stop saying "very", I literally said to people it is a very good

word.

I even said "very".

And people were like, "You said stop saying'very', but didn't you use it?"

I said it's a great word, we use it.

The difference between myself and a person learning English, or English speakers and

a person learning English is we have a wider vocabulary, so we can express ourselves differently.

And I'm trying to introduce something for you to have greater clarification - that means

being clear when you're speaking - and give you tools to do that.

And then if you want to say "okay" all the time, please do.

But you might notice when you say things in a different variety, you will get different

information from the people you're speaking to.

And one of the things I will teach you today is something many English speakers complain

about - that when foreign speakers learn, they say "okay" at this situation, and they're

like, "Ugh!"

Because I was thinking - because in English we don't usually do it this way.

I'll get there, you'll know exactly what it is.

And if you're an English speaker watching this, you go, "Yeah, all the freaking time.

Every single time."

You know what I mean.

Anyway.

So, I said stop saying "okay" and I wrote two okays.

You can write both.

Listen carefully.

If you're doing a formal paper or something professional, please use this "okay".

That's why I wrote it in blue.

But if you're texting a friend or something and it's casual, you can use this "okay".

Okay?

Okay.

Formal, informal.

Hence, red, think carefully.

If you want to be safe, just write this "okay" all the time, you'll never have a problem.

Okay?

So, why is "okay" popular?

I'll start with that, because some of you will be like, "Well, if we're not supposed

to say it, why da-da-da", it is a very good word.

"Okay" is an exclamation.

"Okay!"

I'm exclaiming.

"Yeah, okay.

This sounds good."

Asking for permission, right?

"Is it okay if I do this?

Are you okay with that?"

Asking and giving permission.

"Sufficient!"

"Oh, this is sufficient, but not great."

When I studied logic when I was in university, it was like, "Something is sufficient, but

it doesn't have enough."

"Sufficient", when you're saying this, it means it's - I was going to say it's okay.

"It's good.

It works, but it's not the best."

"How's the food?

Okay?"

"It's okay.

I can eat it.

I won't die."

It doesn't mean I'm enjoying it.

Describing oneself.

"How are you?"

And this is the one I was talking about.

Foreign people, when somebody says to you, "How are you?", please don't say, "Okay".

In our brains, especially if a male is talking to a female, "Hey, baby, how you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"What's wrong?

Something's wrong.

Something's wrong."

We don't take it as in, "It's good."

We're like, "Something's wrong."

Usually if I'm - I can tell you right now, if you come to me and you go, "How are you?",

I'm okay.

"I'm not okay.

I am not okay, but I don't want to talk about it."

So please don't say that.

I will teach you other things to say, but this is the one that gets - if you see people

look funny when you say - and I have a good friend, she does this, she'll go, "I'm okay"

with a big smile.

When I see her personally, I get it, but when I don't, she'll text, "I'm okay", and I'm

like, "Did I do something wrong?

Is something wrong?

What's going on?"

She'll go, "No, I'm okay!"

I'm like, you don't get it.

That's not how we work.

You have to say, "I'm good.

I'm great."

And you want the truth?

We don't care if you're good or you're great.

Just don't say, "Okay".

Okay?

Okay.

And I did that on purpose for all those people like, "He said it ten times."

And when you're agreeing with someone, you're like, "Okay, okay, yeah, okay."

You're agreeing.

Let the conversation continue.

So, now that I've said why it's popular, why don't we talk about why you should stop?

That's saying, stop saying, "Okay".

Why should you stop saying, "Okay"?

Number one, it lacks strong commitment.

If you've ever asked somebody to do something with you, like, "Hey, do you want to go for

dinner?"

And they're like, "Okay."

Do you feel like they want to go?

You don't feel like they want to go.

So, what you might want to say is, "Use this instead."

For sure.

Yeah, for sure.

Yes.

Yes.

Why don't you just say, "Yes"?

Absolutely.

Okay.

All right?

Or this one, "Why not?

It sounds brilliant.

Why not?"

Yeah, it's just because, like, I'm so excited.

Why not?

I can't think of anything better to do.

Okay?

This is better than saying, "Okay".

Now, it lacks emotion.

How was the meal?

It's okay.

This is black and white and - no, not black and white, it's grey.

It's okay.

Like I told you, it's like a grey day.

It's not really cold, it's not wet, there's not really much of a sun.

It's okay.

It's a day.

It's a day.

It's a day.

So, we can turn around and say - or I can say to you, it lacks emotion, if I want to

talk about my day, sorry, I can say, "It's great, fantastic.

It's interesting or brilliant."

And you go, "Why would you write interesting?"

Well, if you said, "How was your day?"

And I go, "Interesting."

Now you're going to go, "Whoa, what makes it interesting?"

"Well, I just got this great job offer," or this person over - it draws conversation.

My point about not using "okay" is this, when you dispense with the word or not use the

word "okay", you open up more communication because your choice of words leads people

to want to investigate and know more.

When you say "okay", it's like being something grey.

There's nothing more to it.

No conversation.

It's the death of your conversation or language.

And you're here to learn how to speak more with others and communicate better.

This is what we're doing here.

So, now you start seeing how these words, and even a word like "interesting" can draw

out more conversation.

Cool?

Especially if you say "interesting", they're going to go, "Why is that person saying this?"

Now, next.

It doesn't demonstrate you really want authentic permission.

If you say, "Is it okay if I take your book?"

It means I'm just asking you because I've been told I have to ask you.

But if I say, "Hey, are you sure it's okay if I take your book?"

I'm saying, "Are you sure?

I want to confirm with you."

Another thing you can say, "Is it alright if", because "right" means correct, right?

"Is it alright if I take off next Monday?"

I'm asking, I'm genuinely asking you for your permission.

I want, authentic means real, your real permission, because I want to know it's okay with you.

I know I want it, but I want to know you're okay with it.

Say, "Okay."

I want to know that you're happy with this as well.

I really care.

Okay?

Now, here.

Not giving authentic permission.

"Do you mind if I take your car?"

Okay.

"Do you really think I want to take it?"

It's like I'm being forced to do it.

But if I say to you, "Yeah, go ahead.

Of course.

Yeah, no problem."

I'm totally into it.

I'm not just giving non-authentic permission.

I'm saying, "I really believe in this.

I'm happy to do this with you or for you."

And the last one I just told you is this one here.

It's when you can create unnecessary concern.

If I say, "How are you?" and you're like, "I'm okay.

I'm okay."

I'm going to freak out.

I'm going to go, "Dude, what's wrong with you?"

But if you say, "I'm great.

I'm good.

I'm well."

Again, nobody cares.

We don't.

It's like when you say, "How are you?"

You say it because it's a social convention.

That's what we do when we meet each other.

"Hey, how are you?

I'm good.

Me too.

I'm dying."

But I'm not going to tell you that because we're just crossing each other on the street,

right?

But when you say, "Okay", that might stop the person to go, "Oh", because that's not a usual

response.

Now, I'm going to give you one little thing about this, and I kind of lied.

When somebody says, "How are you?"

If, for instance, if I was walking, and I fell on the ground, "I'm okay, I'm okay."

That's all right.

That's okay.

That's when you're saying, "I'm not injured.

I'm not damaged."

In that case, it's okay.

But if someone is saying, "How are you?" like today because I haven't seen you, totally

different.

So, if it's just, "Hey, Tom, how are you?

I'm good, man."

Don't say, "I'm okay."

But if Tom falls, you go, "Oh, Tom, Tom, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay.

It's all good."

Fine.

Note the difference, because you'll say, "Oh, well."

That's it.

If it's an accident, "I'm okay" is fine, perfectly fine and acceptable.

You probably wouldn't say, "I'm great.

I'm great."

That wouldn't make sense.

I'd be like, "He's hurt, seriously."

Okay?

So, I hope this lesson has given you an expansion in your vocabulary.

I know there's some repetition, but it's not the repetition that's important, it's your

understanding of why we're saying it.

We want to give a stronger commitment to what we're saying.

We want to give more emotion.

We want to give a greater demonstration that I'm giving permission, or I really care when

I'm asking for permission.

I really care how you feel.

And I don't want to create unnecessary concern or create a situation that didn't need to

happen because of lack of communication.

Cool?

So, use these, you'll get better communication.

But why don't we test that right away?

And I'm going to go back after this little click.

Oh, I tricked you.

Yeah, that's not the click.

I'll click, we'll go to the board, I'll teach you a couple other things you might want to

know about the word "okay", and a quick quiz to make sure you understand how to use this

and use it in your next conversation right away.

Cool?

So, you have no idea how much I wanted to say "okay", but I'm doing this lesson, so.

So, here's our quiz to start off with, and then I'm going to move to your homework and

extra information.

First one, first one is, if someone says to you, "How was your day?"

How should you respond?

Interesting or absolutely?

Interesting.

Remember what I said, if you say "interesting", it says something happened that was not normal,

so the other person now wants to talk to you, and we've created a conversation that they'll

go, "Oh, well, what happened?"

Right?

And that's what you want, more conversation.

How about number two?

Do you want to see a movie later?

Why not?

Why not?

There's...

I can't think of anything better to do.

If you say, "I'm good", you could say, "I'm good", but don't, because if I say, "Hey,

you want to see a movie?"

And you're like, "I'm good", it means, "No, no, not with you.

I'm good.

No, thanks.

No, thank you."

So, I just taught you something that has nothing to do with "okay".

If you want to be kind of mean and someone says, "So, you want to go out and be my girlfriend?

I'm good.

Thanks."

It means, "No."

So, clearly, you want to say, "Why not?" to show enthusiasm.

This is the emotion part we're talking about.

Next.

"Can I leave...

You're at work.

Hey, can I leave 20 minutes early to get my child?"

What's the appropriate response a good boss would say?

No problem or interesting?

A good boss is going to say, "No problem.

It's okay.

Go ahead."

If they say, "Interesting", they're saying, "Hmm, 20 minutes early.

Hmm, interesting."

It's basically they don't believe you.

They maybe think you're lying, so we don't want to say that.

We want to say, "No problem.

Go ahead."

Of course.

What about number four?

"How is the weather today?"

You know, you're going outside or you're talking to your friend, "I want to go have a picnic.

How is the weather today?"

Go ahead or brilliant?

You probably noticed I didn't write that one down, and you're like, "That's confusing.

I don't know."

But what do you think?

All you had is to give permission, but you're not asking for permission, so you're going

to say brilliant.

Well, I saved that one because anyone - pulling up my pants here, just so you know - anyone

from England goes, "It's brilliant!"

It means excellent.

See, I taught you another vocabulary word, I put it in there when you weren't paying

attention.

So, if you say, "It's brilliant, baby.

It's brilliant."

It means it's amazing.

"How's the food?"

"It's brilliant."

And you're brilliant, too, because it also means very smart.

You're brilliant.

Okay?

Cool.

So, how are you?

Please get this one right.

I just told you how it upsets many people who speak English.

Get it right.

How are you?

Is it great or of course?

I know you said great, because as I said, you're brilliant.

Yeah, you said, "How are you?

I'm great.

I'm well.

I'm fine."

Good, thank you.

All right, so now we've gone through our quiz, and I know you got perfect on it.

I would like you to go over here, where we're going to learn some other things about "okay".

Different ways to use it, which give a different idea, and a lot of this has to do with tone

or repetition.

Let's go to the board.

If someone says, "That is not okay.

That is not okay.

It's unacceptable."

It's not - remember how I said "okay" means it's "nyeh"?

When I say, "That's not okay", it's not "nyeh", it's "no".

No, that is unacceptable.

That is not okay to speak to a woman like that.

It is not okay to do this in your - it's unacceptable 100%, all right?

So you're like, "Wow, that went really quickly, the wrong way."

Yep.

If someone ever says to you, "That is not okay", you have screwed up, made a big, big

mistake.

Next.

This one's interesting.

You have to watch for the tone, that's why I put the red tone.

If someone says this, "Okay", it means I'll do it, but I don't want to.

You're driving your car, the police comes, knocks over, knocks on your window, you roll

it down.

You know, you and Mr. E were driving very quickly, you need to slow it down.

"Okay, officer, okay.

I don't want to do it.

I'm going to because I don't want to go to jail, okay?"

Or your friend goes, "You need to pick up the garbage you dropped."

"Okay, I'm going to, but I don't want to."

But you have to watch it because someone made that same okay, slow okay, but it's sudden

understanding.

If you say, "And then, the sun", sorry, not the sun, "the earth goes around the sun",

I go, "Okay.

Oh, I didn't understand that, but now I do.

Okay."

Sudden understanding, tonality makes a difference.

"Okay.

Okay.

Yes, no."

Now you got it.

What about this one?

"Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Hurry up."

No, you got it.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it.

I got it."

Sorry.

It means hurry up.

"Okay.

Okay.

A quick okay.

Okay."

Now, this is different.

This is a doubling of okay, but if you hear, "Okay."

It means got it.

So, you go, "But it seems the same."

I go, "One means hurry up."

Like, "Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay."

So, you can, for yourself, use these other things I've taught you and get greater understanding

of this by homework.

First thing with homework is I want you to think where you could use this now.

When, I mean, I've given you the exact sentences, but your next situation you're in, you're

like, "Okay."

See, I just said it.

"Okay."

So, the next situation you're in and you want to - someone's asking you a question, you're

like, "I know I don't have to say okay for this.

Can I say brilliant?

Can I say great?

Can I say sure, go ahead?

What can I say?

I have practiced this because I've thought about it, so now I can use it."

That's what I want from you.

Knowledge is no good unless you understand it and you can use it, and I know you'll be

able to use this.

Next, you can use two examples, that's what I wrote here.

If someone says, "Can I call you later?"

I want you.

Normally I would help you, but I'm like, "No, you're big kids now.

You don't need to have someone hold your hand anymore."

Think of two ways you can say something if someone says, "Can I call you later?"

What two things did I teach you out of all of them I taught that you could say, "I could

say this"?

Absolutely, oops, no more hints, right?

Next one is, if someone says, "How was your day?"

What two different ways you can answer.

See, you're not a robot.

You don't want to just have one answer and just repeat it.

If you notice, for each thing I gave you, two or three different ways of addressing

or saying something, so practice them so that when you do this and think about where you

can use it, you'll have two or three ways to use it, and now you're becoming like a

native speaker.

You're welcome.

Anyway, I want to give you my quote before I go.

This one's from John Lennon.

John Lennon said, "Everything will be okay in the end.

If it's not okay, it's not the end."

And I think this lesson's good, and it's okay, and this is the end of my lesson, but what

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Have a good one.

I'll see you later, okay?