How to improve your English conversation skills

Hi, James from EngVid.

I'm going to help you today and this is a kiss from me to you because I'm going to give

you the kiss of good luck and that's going to be in your conversation skills.

A lot of students, you know, they want to improve their English and one of the best

ways to improve your English is speaking to a native speaker.

That's difficult.

Let's face facts.

If you're lucky, you're in Canada, Britain, Ireland, Australia, where there are native

speakers walking all around you.

They're in abundance.

Abundance means a lot of them.

But if you're in a foreign country like India or Turkey, France, Germany, okay, there's

not as many English people, so this advice is going to apply to you, but you're going

to have to apply it, okay?

And what I mean by that is if you're in a country that's not natively English, you're

going to have to look for tourists.

Now, please do not harass the tourists or at least say James ESL is telling me I need

to practice, can you help me, okay?

But outside of that, what I want you to do is think of it this way.

You need to interact with natural native speakers and if you want to speak naturally.

I mean, you can watch the television all you like, but it's the practice that's necessary.

So, the first thing I'm going to stress for you is go to a school to learn to speak and

what you want to do there is when you're there, you want to find a teacher who corrects your

English because a lot of times, native speakers, if they're talking to you, even if they're

in Canada or Britain or United States, they'll just speak to you, but they don't correct

your English because it's kind of impolite to do, or they don't care, they understand

so it's good enough, but you'll always sound like you're not native, understand?

So I've got a little...

I've got some advice for you, and if you follow this advice, within six months, you can really

clean up your English.

You ready?

Let's go to the board.

I was watching a movie the other day, it's called Danny the Dog in Europe, or in Canada

it's called Unleashed, and it's about, well Jet Li plays this man who is treated like

a dog and acts like a dog, and he's brought into a family, you know, he's got a violent

background, he's brought into a family, and he starts learning about love and everything

else, and in this one scene in the movie, some girl kisses him, and Morgan Freeman's

in the movie, and he says to him, "What was the kiss like?"

And he goes, "The kiss was sweet, the kiss was nice."

Well, we're going to learn kiss to make your life sweeter and nicer.

Now, the first thing we're going to take is K-I-S, K-I-S.

In English, we have a saying, a kiss is keep it simple, stupid, and that's what I want

you to do.

Keep the information I give you simple.

Follow it directly, and you'll find you'll get a lot of advantage out of it.

But the first kiss is K-I-S, and what I want to say is this, oh, okay, key in, sorry, not

on, key in, okay?

And the other one is this.

Now, I'm going to waste your time for a second or two and change this to red, because what

I wanted to do was this.

I want to keep these in red for you so you remember these two, because these are the

two simple pieces of information I want you to remember, okay?

So let's do this and keep it.

I'll explain in a second or two, and I'm going to do it by characters I used to like when

I, well, used to, I still love them.

Three characters I used to, and I do like, are superheroes.

One of them I'm sure you've heard of, Batman, okay?

Another one you probably haven't heard of, but I'm going to do this, because it's like

question mark, and his name was the Question.

And the final one, if you liked Wolverine, you probably saw this guy in the X-Men, and

it's Professor Xavier, so I'm going to put the Prof, Prof X, okay, Professor Xavier.

Now, each one of these characters is going to be sort of like a metaphor for an idea

that I want you to keep in mind when you try and do these ones.

How do you talk to a native speaker?

Well, let's just assume you're in North America, excuse me, and you're not in your country

with tourists.

Even if you're with tourists, what you want to do, now, don't case them.

In North America, casing means checking someone out to see if you can steal from them.

I don't want you casing them out, but be a detective.

Batman is a detective.

I'm sorry, that's too high for you guys, so let's put it down here.

What do I mean?

Before you even walk up to somebody, I'm sorry, I got detective, detective, my English is

so good, detective, detective, okay, sorry, detective, detect means to find and look.

When you see somebody, imagine they're carrying a Starbucks cup.

My hands are dirty, so I'm just going to say, "Pretend this is a book," okay, and they're

walking down the street.

Now, most people will say when they want to talk to somebody, "Excuse me, do you have

the time?

Can you give me the time, please?"

Don't do this.

Even if you're in a country that speaks English, look at the Starbucks cup, look at the book,

detect.

Be a detective.

You see the Starbucks, first thing, where's the Starbucks?

You can walk up and say, "Excuse me," they'll hear your accent, they'll know you're not

from this country, and you say, "Is there a Starbucks around here?

I love their coffee."

Right then, the person has to say something, not just yes or no, but they can go, "Yes,

it's around the corner over there," and you go, "That smells good.

What is that?"

You've initiated a conversation.

The thing about initiating the conversation, and this is where sincere comes from in select,

so first thing we did as a detective is we selected.

We looked at something.

There was a book.

There's coffee.

We looked at something and selected something that would bear conversation.

The sincere part came from, and this is what's important, you've got to be sincere.

Don't look at something that you think makes a guy look like a clown.

He's wearing big red shoes.

He looks like Ronald McDonald.

You know McDonald's, the hamburger?

They've got a clown.

You don't want to be looking at something that makes him look like a clown and say,

"Hey, I like your shoes," because you won't be able to follow up on that, and that's the

important part of conversation.

This is where, my friend, the question comes in.

The question was a superhero who was a reporter who had no face.

Imagine that's you.

You have no face to this person, so there's no reason for them to speak to you, no reason,

but he was also a reporter because he would take off his mask, and you could see his face,

but he would get information by asking people questions of, well, W5, so you were a reporter.

Now you're not on TV, unfortunately, and you're not Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, sorry.

You might be, and if so, hi, didn't know you were a fan.

But what you want to be is a reporter, and that is meaning open-ended question.

Ask open-ended questions, like where is there a Starbucks around here?

You can't say yes and no to that.

You have to say, "Oh, the Starbucks is down the street, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

That gets you to work on your listening skills to understand English, but it makes them actually

speak to you for more than five seconds.

By turning around and going, "Mm, that smells like, oh, I don't speak Starbucks, I'm sorry.

That smells like, which is my, like, mochaccino, tall, grande, skinny, fat, whatever," they

might go, "No, no, it's this," and then you've initiated a conversation showing we share

a common like because I'm being sincere, I like this stuff, you like this stuff.

There's something similar without actually saying it.

So now you've engaged the person who speaks English into a conversation with you, okay?

So we've been sincere.

We ask open-ended questions, right, like the reporter.

We detect before we even walk up to them, we look and say, "Okay, I'm going to look

at somebody and I'm going to look for something that's unique about that person."

Once you're looking at something unique about that person, here's the thing.

By saying that and saying it sincerely, you create a bond.

We call that rapport.

There's a bond between us because we've initiated something and they know you're being real

about it.

When people know you're being real, they're generally more honest and open with you as

well.

See?

It works both ways.

Okay?

So we've been a reporter.

We've been a detective.

What does Professor X do?

Well, Professor X can, and you're going to say, "Okay, James, life is not a comic book.

I cannot read minds.

I don't have that mental power.

And I am not going to sit in front of people and go, 'Oh, the coffee is hot.'"

Okay?

Of course not.

But what we can say is reading minds.

If you're being sincere and you've selected something, you've chosen something that appeals

to you, you can understand what they're going to say to you or you can almost predict what's

going to happen because you would feel the same.

You might even have a couple of different ideas about it, but that doesn't matter.

You both like coffee.

You both know what good coffee is, bad coffee, or you have different ideas of what good coffee

and bad coffee is.

Right?

So from there, you can have a conversation.

You can anticipate areas you would talk about, and that can elongate the conversation.

Okay?

Now, that's right off the street.

But you might be saying, "James, okay, look, I'm a foreigner.

My English not so good.

I don't want to talk on the street in Paris."

Okay?

If you didn't understand me, I was saying, "Maybe you're thinking my English is not good.

I really don't have the confidence."

Well, let's make it easy.

This method will work off the street, but what happens if we want to use this method

somewhere else to make it easier for us?

Well, let me recommend a couple of places for you.

It seems to me that you're intelligent.

It seems to me that you're curious.

So really, what you need to do is find English people who want to speak back to you, and

they would also have to be intelligent and curious.

So why don't we go to areas that you would probably be?

So we're going to keep this here.

Actually, I'm going to erase this.

Have you got it down?

Make sure you write it down.

Maybe I have some room here.

So let's look at locations you can go to.

One location would be based on you.

You're probably a student of English.

If you're in a foreign country learning, you're a student of some type.

So why don't we do what's really smart for students?

We're going to go here.

Okay?

All right.

Okay, yes, I said it, Starbucks.

Yeah, you better be sending me money, Starbucks.

I'm advertising for you.

Why Starbucks?

Well, look, when I mention each of these places, there's four of them on the board here.

These are just four.

There could be many more.

But as a student, really, a good place for a student to go is to an art gallery.

Think about it.

Here you've got people who must have money because they don't got a job, because if you're

at the art gallery in the middle of the day, you better have money.

I'm joking.

But what I'm saying is you've got people who want to, you know, they open their mind.

Think about this.

They're open-minded.

They're interested in different things, different time periods.

So if you're saying museum, they're looking at different periods.

They're open-minded.

They want to learn.

If you come across and you're asking something, like you walk up to, let's say there's an

armor or a suit of armor, and you're asking them a question, like you're looking there

and they're looking, you go, "Hi, why is this armor important?"

They're probably open-minded enough to go, "You know what?

I don't know."

Maybe number one.

Or number two, go, "Oh, this is from the 16th period, 16th century."

And this was during the time of, you just started a conversation.

You don't have to do anything because the museum provides all the things you need to

talk about.

You just need to be able to say, "Excuse me, why is this?"

You don't ask what the time is, okay?

You don't walk up and go, "Excuse me, what time?"

They'll go, "This is a museum, buddy.

Look, time is all over the place.

There's a clock over there."

But most people are happy to answer your questions because they are open-minded.

Same with the art gallery.

Art reflects our intellectual curiosity or our curiosity about different times or just

a general fascination with different forms of expression.

Open-minded, intelligent people, much like yourself.

Remember, you're learning a language.

That tells them automatically when you say, "Hey, you know what, I'm curious about that

and I'm just in town for six months because I'm here to learn English and I'm really fascinated

by your culture."

They'll be happy to talk to you.

Bookstores, well, intellectuals read books.

You are an intellectual.

You can say, "I'm looking for grammar books, but I was curious.

I need something to study at home on my own and I want to know something you could probably

recommend that you might have read."

And they'll be happy to tell you.

Starbucks, okay.

Be careful with this one.

You cannot go into Starbucks, walk up to tables and go, "Hello, I'm here to learn English.

Hello, I'm here to learn English."

It's not going to go well.

But what I'm getting at is a lot of people go to Starbucks, they sit there for a while,

they read and whatnot.

This is when you go back to playing detective.

You look at what they're reading.

If they've got a computer and they look very busy, leave them alone.

But if they're casually reading a book, you can always peek at the title and go, "Hey,

cool book.

I need something to learn in my English class, my reading and writing.

I was wondering what this is about.

Maybe it's something I want to read.

Could you explain?"

And they'll take two minutes.

The whole thing here is to open the door to start a conversation, so you can get practice,

right?

So we want to open that door, get some practice talking, and that's the one way we can do

it.

And that's that.

That's for you as a student.

Now, want to see how cool I am?

I'm going to be so cool, I'm going to teach you from their perspective, okay?

And here's what we want to do if you're talking about, thinking about them, okay?

Go to where they are in a different way.

If you go to a yoga or Pilates class, these are also people who are open-minded, but now

you can ask for instruction, and guess what, they're happy to do it for you.

The other way is you're seeking something out, and it's natural for you to be there.

But if you say you go to a yoga class, and people are doing the, I don't know, onja pose

or whatever that is, you know, and you're having some trouble, it's not that bad, and

they're going to be helpful and turn around and you go, "Hey, look, I'm from a foreign

country.

I'm from Germany.

I've never seen this pose before.

Please help me.

These three poses are so difficult."

Okay?

They'll probably go, "Germany, cool, blah, blah, blah.

How long have you been doing yoga?"

You'll ask, "My first time.

I'm trying new things since I've been here."

They'll want to help you out, all right?

Pilates is a little different.

That's a bit what we call sketchy.

I'm not too sure.

But yoga, sure.

I've been there.

I've done it myself.

Music festivals.

You know?

They're jamming.

They're rocking, man.

You go, "I like this music so much.

You Canadians love interesting music."

Okay?

You can say, "I'm interested.

I'm from Germany."

And they'll turn around and they'll go, "Wow, man.

This is this rock band.

It's called, like, Headley."

And they'll talk to you, because they'll figure if you're at this music performance, you're

into it as well.

Caveats, or a special note.

Don't do this during opera or anything like that.

They don't appreciate you saying, "I am from" in the middle of a performance.

But afterwards, if you're standing there and you're saying, "I've never been to an opera,"

a lot of these people will love to talk to you.

Same with seminars.

Science.

Political.

Or don't -- I'm not going to say religious, so please, religious people, don't get offended

on me.

But it's a little different.

When we're looking at science and we're looking at literary seminars, people are wanting to

exchange ideas.

And they're not really wanting to say, "Okay, this one's right," or, "This one's wrong,"

or try and convert you.

They just want to exchange ideas and see what else is available.

So this way, you can go to them.

The first one is about you as being a student.

Things you should naturally be doing, right?

You're exploring a new country.

Or them, places where they'll be.

Now, of course, when I say this, if you're in a country where it's not natural for English

speakers, it reverts some of this to tourist attractions, right?

Because you're not going to be necessarily a student in your own country.

You're going to be a worker.

But you can still do the activities I mentioned, going to the art gallery and whatnot, because

tourists will go there, okay?

And yoga and whatnot, depending on the country you're at, people will -- so when I say this

one, think of something that's special about your country.

If you're in Amsterdam, people are going to go to the beer markets or the red light district.

Don't disturb them there.

They're kind of busy.

But there are things in your country that obviously, like the Louvre in France, that

people will gravitate towards, which you can use to your advantage.

Anyway, this is the KISS theory of meeting people to improve your conversation.

Number one, go to a school, because you need a teacher to correct you.

So I'm telling you that right off the bat.

But number two, the best thing to do is talk to native speakers.

And this is one of the best methods to do it.

It's easy, because, like I said, you're a bright person.

I'm sure you'd go to these places.

You may not do yoga, but you like seminars or music or the art gallery.

Starbucks has taken over the world, so I'm sure you've at least had one cup, or you might

think about it now.

If it's a little too expensive, you do it once a week, not every day.

Or if you're seeing them off the street, you can just do the detective method here.

Use our little superheroes.

Look for something special.

Because, to be honest, people love themselves, and if you're going to take the time to actually

look at who they are and what's special about them and take that time, they appreciate that.

Because if I'm wearing a shirt that I think is cool, and you walk up and go, "I love that

shirt.

I always wanted to get one like that.

Where did you pick it up?"

I'm going to smile and go, "Wow, well, I bought it five years ago.

It's kind of old, but thank you."

You've just opened the door.

You've opened your mind now by listening to this.

You've opened the door to conversation.

I'd like to open something to you, for you.

And what I want you to do, play detective, go on the net, and try this.

Put these words, or letters, into a computer, like this, and put this in.

You're going to be a detective.

Go check out what you think this is.

Be Batman.

Now, be the questioner or reporter.

Go there and investigate.

What are you learning there?

What are you being taught?

There must be something that's going on there that you can learn.

And Professor X, mind reading?

Well, you'll be able to understand me once you learn what's available here, which is

English.

There's myself, whoops, that's my "I gotta go" cue, the bell, it's English you can learn.

So I want you to have a good day.

Go to engVid.

Remember, detective, reporter, read minds.

Be selective, and be sincere, you can get what you want, and you can improve your conversation.

Have a good day.