Managing Sensitive Topics in Small Talk [ACTIVATE THE SUBTITLES]

- Hi there!

I am your English coach Christina

and welcome to Speak English with Christina

where you'll learn about American culture

and business know-how

to become confident in English.

There're quite a few topics that are

taboo or frowned upon at work.

Politics and religion

are the two most obvious topics.

Why?

Because people tend to have strong opinions

and if either topic comes up

in conversation at work,

it can make people feel uneasy.

Overgeneralizations about a group of people,

office gossip and complaining

about job frustrations

can make people feel awkward or unwelcome.

Work should be a positive environment

so everyone can achieve their best

for the good of one another

and for the organization, right?

In this episode, we'll discuss

some of the things that you can say

to gently steer the conversation away

from sensitive subjects at work

and help make the office environment

more positive.

Let's get go!

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If the conversation is moving

in a direction that is inappropriate,

you can simply find a transition

to a new more neutral topic.

One way to do this is to change

the focus of the conversation

to the person that you're talking to.

You can ask them about a project at work.

For example.

"Ah, before I forget, I enjoyed

"the presentation that you gave last week.

"Did you design that Power Point yourself?"

If you know that this person has a hobby

that they're passionate about,

you might ask about that.

For example.

"I know that you ran the half-marathon last month.

"You know, I'm interested in jogging.

"Can you give me a few tips on how to start?"

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Who doesn't like to hear something nice

about themselves?

You can pay a compliment to the person

that you're speaking with.

For example.

"Carol, I love your earrings.

"Where did you get them?"

Or, "Daniel, are those new shoes?

"They look great!

"Where did you get them?"

A compliment and a followup question

is a great way to change the subject

of the conversation.

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A quick way to steer the conversation away

from a touchy topic is to introduce

a new person into the conversation,

and this way you can reset the conversation

and you have an opportunity

to move to a new topic fast.

It's like hitting a pause button

or saying "Time out!"

If you don't see anyone that you know nearby,

you can ask the person that you're talking to

for an introduction to someone

that they might know by saying,

"I've been wanting to meet David.

"Can you maybe introduce us?"

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Never underestimate the power of "Yes, but".

You can easily change the topic

of a conversation by agreeing

with the speaker with "yes",

and then quickly changing direction with "but".

For example, if the person you are talking with

is speaking negatively about their colleague

such as Sue,

"Sue talks very loud."

Your response can be "Yes, but she makes

"wonderful chocolate brownies.

"Have you ever tried them?"

And with a simple "Yes, but"

you've moved the conversation

away from office gossip

about someone who talks too loud

into a crowd-pleasing subject of desserts.

It's almost unfair,

sort of like a bribe talking about desserts.

Yes, but have you tried our brownies?

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You likely aren't chained to this person.

If you really want to get out of a conversation,

you can just say "Excuse me" and leave.

But if you want to be more polite,

any excuse will do.

You need to make a call,

go to the restroom, get some fresh air outside.

If you think you might be ready

to talk again afterwards,

you can say something like,

"Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom real quick.

"I'll be right back."

Or, "Sorry, I'll be right back.

"I just need to make a quick call."

And stepping away from the conversation

gives a natural break,

and when you resume talking with this person,

you can start fresh by introducing

a new topic, like "Oh, I was thinking.

"Are you coming to the company picnic

"this weekend?"

And if this person is your employee,

well maybe you can just fire them.

No, no, no.

Just kidding, just kidding.

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Now, what about you?

Have you ever been in a situation,

perhaps at work,

in which you felt uncomfortable

with what the other person said?

What strategies have you used

to manage sensitive topics

that come up in conversations?

Share them in the comments below.

And if you want to practice speaking English,

then consider my Faster Fluency Conversation Club

where members can participate

in three group sessions per week.

You'll be paired up in small groups

with other motivated students

and get some help

from a Fluency Club leader too.

And the small group size ensures

that you get plenty of speaking practice

and feedback on your mistakes

and ways that you can speak more colloquially

so that you gain fluency faster.

You can get all of the details

and join the Fluency Club

by clicking on the link below.

You'll also get extra resources

and a conversation guidebook

to help you increase your vocabulary

and become more confident in conversations.

Thank you for learning

with Speak English with Christina

and I'll see you next time.