How to complain politely in English

- Hi there, I'm your English coach, Christina

and welcome to Speak English with Christina

where you'll learn about American culture

and business know how to become confident in English.

Now, whether you are at a restaurant,

at the airport or checking into a hotel,

it's likely that there will be

a misunderstanding at some point.

Misunderstandings happen to everyone,

no matter the language.

However, if you're a visitor traveling to the United States

and practicing your American English,

a misunderstanding can be more frustrating than usual.

When something goes wrong or a situation

doesn't meet your expectations,

especially because someone else made a mistake,

it's natural to feel angry and to complain.

But if you want to turn the situation around

for a positive experience,

you need to know how to speak courteously and politely.

Why?

Because that's what our parents taught us,

you know, you can catch more flies with honey

and this goes for American flies as well

and in this episode, you'll learn

how to complain politely in American English.

Let's go.

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When complaining, it helps to use

polite non-threatening language.

When you're upset or frustrated and want to complain,

being able to express yourself in American English

in a calm and effective way is crucial.

The Faster Fluency Club meets three times per week.

The group session of motivated students is always small,

so you have plenty of opportunity

to practice your speaking skills.

Each session is guided by one of my fantastic

expert English teachers who will guide you on vocabulary,

correct your mistakes and much more,

so that you can gain fluency faster.

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When you express anger and complain,

people can become defensive.

They may not listen to you and insist that they are right.

So try this instead.

Take a deep breath

and prepare a polite complaint in American English.

I'll introduce a few phrases that you can use

for common mishaps at a restaurant or a hotel

but first, let's go over some key vocabulary

and phrases that you can use.

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The first step in your polite complaint is to get attention

and the best way to go about this is to start

with a gentle attention getter.

For example, you can start your complaint

with excuse me, or pardon me.

Excuse me, and pardon me are polite ways to start a sentence

when you need to get someone's attention.

You can also start with an apology such as sorry

and I know it sounds maybe a bit strange,

after all you are the person with the complaint,

so why should you apologize but apologizing

to get someone's attention is very common

and we use it all the time because it works.

For example, sorry to bother you, but

and I'm sorry to have to say this but.

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There's no turning back now,

you are ready to continue the sentence

and express your opinion that there's a problem.

For example, after you get the person's attention,

you can say, I'm afraid there's a problem,

I'm afraid there's a problem

or I'd like to make a complaint about

or perhaps there was a misunderstanding but

or more formally, I'd like to report an issue with.

You can also let the person know that

you are not blaming them for the issue.

For example, I know this isn't your fault, but,

I know this isn't your fault but

and this is a good one,

especially with servers in restaurants.

For example, when your food is cold,

your meat isn't cooked correctly,

or they forgot to add that extra cheese that you asked for

and paid for on top of your not so healthy salad.

Okay, so we've gotten attention,

we've prepared our listener that there is a disagreement,

next, let's finally make the complaint.

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At this point, you have your listener's attention

and they know that you have a complaint

and they are shaking in their boots because the U.S

is a service-based economy where the customer is king,

the customer is always right and probably most importantly,

the customer pays the tip.

So now, you state your complaint, it's that simple.

Well, you did already get their attention

and apologize for having to complain,

so now you just state the problem.

A complaint may sound like this,

excuse me, I know this isn't your fault,

but I ordered my steak well done and it's not cooked enough.

Another example, sorry to bother you,

but I'd like to make a complaint about a rude employee.

I asked three times for some help, he looked at me

and then he just walked away and one more just for fun,

I'm sorry, but I'd like to report an issue

with the software I bought the other day.

It doesn't seem to work on my computer.

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At the restaurant, you ordered

a cheeseburger and french fries.

However, the waiter brought you fish sticks.

That's not what you ordered.

So, how can you complain politely,

so that you get what you want?

Of course, your first reaction may be to say,

I didn't order that.

However, this approach will likely lead to

a battle with the waiter.

That's not what I ordered.

No, it's not.

No, it's, no, no, it's not.

Often, how you say something

is as important as what you say.

I didn't order that sounds very abrupt

and sure, almost aggressive.

If I said the same phrase but changed the intonation,

I can make this phrase sound less aggressive.

I didn't order that.

Still, there is a way to sound more polite,

both in what you say and how you say it.

In the next examples, pay attention to the words I say

but also to the way I say them

and try to mimic my intonation.

For example, a polite approach would be,

excuse me, sir, I'm sorry to bother you,

but this isn't what I ordered

or you could say, excuse me, sir,

there have been a misunderstanding.

I think they got the order wrong.

Let's imagine we are still at the restaurant

but the waiter hasn't brought us our food.

We've been waiting for a long time.

You're hungry and angry, which makes for a potentially

dangerous combination of frustration

and we even have a word in American English

for this phenomenon and that's hangry.

Hangry is a relatively new word

that simply combines angry and hungry.

So when you're hangry, you can be irritable

and difficult to deal with.

In this instance, if you've been waiting a long time,

you can say, excuse me waiter,

I'm sorry to bother you, but we have somewhere to be.

Could you check on our order please?

And they will understand that you have been waiting too long

and you are not happy about it.

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Let's imagine that you have arrived

at your destination after a long flight

and you can't wait to check into your hotel and take a nap.

But there's a problem.

You asked for a non-smoking room and you smell smoke

and the bed sheets are dirty

and the view outside is a parking lot,

not the beach view that you were promised

and paid for online.

At the front desk, you can say, hello,

I'm sorry to bother you,

but I have a complaint about my room.

I reserved a non-smoking room with a beach view

and the room smells like smoke

and looks over the parking lot.

Do you think you can maybe do something about that?

Notice here how, at the end of the complaint,

you specifically asked them to do something.

In a hotel, there are likely several options

for the staff to solve your problem.

Move you to another room, offer you a partial refund,

maybe even give you vouchers for free mojitos

at the hotel bar, woo-hoo!

Well, you didn't have to ask for a specific solution,

but just ask, do you think maybe

you can do something about it.

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Before we finish, here are a few

more things to keep in mind.

When you're frustrated or angry,

before speaking with the customer service representative

or the business personnel that you're upset with,

try to stay calm, keep your voice relaxed

and pay special attention to the intonation of your words

and it may help to end your complaints with a question.

In this way, your complaint doesn't sound like a command.

For example, you can say, how can we fix this?

Or what do you recommend?

Or, like we saw earlier,

do you think you can maybe do something about that?

This lets the listener know that

you want to come to a solution

and finally, you can always ask to speak to the manager.

After all, it's the manager's job to make sure

that customers are satisfied with the service.

For example, you could just say,

I'd like to speak to your manager, please.

Uh-oh.

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Now, what about you?

Do you have any tips or key phrases that you've used

when complaining politely in American English?

If so, please share them in the comments

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your fluency, but you find it difficult to do it alone,

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Thank you for learning with Speak English with Christina

and I'll see you next time.