How to deal with rude coworkers

- Hi there, I'm your English coach Christina

and welcome to Speak English with Christina

where you'll learn about American culture

and business know-how to become confident in English.

One situation which requires a lot of confidence

in any language is dealing with rude

or aggressive coworkers.

And if you're learning American English,

these uncomfortable situations

can be even more challenging.

You may not know what to say to keep

the confrontation professional and calm.

A rude or aggressive coworker

can be very difficult to manage.

So you need tactics to deal with these people.

Your coworker may lose their cool as we say,

lose their self-control, but you don't have to

and you'll look more professional for it.

So today you'll get some techniques on

how to deal with a rude or aggressive people at work

so that you can better manage these situations in English,

and stay calm and confident.

Let's go.

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Obviously violent behavior,

sexual harassment, and discrimination

are not acceptable and that isn't

what I'm talking about in this episode.

The aggressive behavior I'm referring to is more verbal

such as scaring or physical, such as like

slamming your fist on the desk or slamming a door shut.

We're also talking about rude behavior

such as spreading rumors or saying something insulting.

Let's learn how to address these situations in a calm,

direct, and effective way and make your workplace healthier

and more productive.

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There are times when work can be very stressful.

People have different ways to handle stress.

Some people take a walk,

count to 10,

or go for a run

and others may shout,

slam a door.

Basically, those people don't have healthy ways

to handle their stress.

For these people,

they might react to a difficult situation

by being aggressive and if you respond aggressively,

it's likely that you'll aggravate the situation.

So it's best to handle aggressive

or rude people directly and calmly.

Unfortunately, it's easy for our emotions

to get the best of us.

If it's a high stress, difficult situation,

we might let our anger influence our behavior

and to the risk of that.

The important thing here is to keep the main

subject in focus.

In other words, stay constructive.

Always bring your colleague back to the main subject

and remind them of common goals,

and how collaboration is the only way

to achieve those goals.

To do so, you can acknowledge what's important.

For example,

Steve, I understand that you're angry

that the vendor didn't send approval.

But let's figure out

how we can find a solution and stay on schedule.

Or Lisa, I understand that the client is upset.

Let's figure out a solution together

to fix this as quickly as possible.

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Sometimes a colleague may react to what you say

by trying to humiliate you or suggest that your opinion

is not credible.

For example, your colleague may say,

you believe that,

or really,

or are you sure of your facts?

You may feel insulted.

Whatever you do, don't react defensively.

Simply take a moment to collect your thoughts

and stand your ground.

Look at your colleague in the eye and even smile a little,

if you can manage it and say,

yes, I'm sure.

Or thank you for bringing that to my attention, however.

And this way, you show that you are firm in your beliefs,

your facts or your decision.

Of course, it's a good idea to have a hard fact and data

to support your position,

and to be ready to share these and your source

for these facts with your coworker.

It'll be hard for them to argue with facts.

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One example of aggressive or rude behavior

in the workplace is interruptions during a meeting.

For example, you may be in a meeting with your team

or one of your colleagues aggressively interrupts

another coworker who is speaking.

Well, in some cultures,

this might be considered normal to interrupt others.

In American culture,

and especially if it's done aggressively,

this behavior should not be tolerated.

You can call out your rude colleagues behavior politely

and say, please, Jason.

Carla was speaking.

Or Jason, please let Carla finish her thought.

Or wait a minute, Jason, I'd like to hear

what Carla has to say here.

Sometimes that's all that is required

to call out the rude behavior directly

and ask the aggressor to stop.

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Sometimes when your coworker is rude or aggressive,

it's because they feel like no one is listening to them

or no one understands them,

and as hard as it may be, try to see the situation

from their perspective.

When you genuinely listened to your coworker

because you wanna understand them,

it shows and by demonstrating empathy,

and an openness to listen,

they may naturally calm themselves down.

You could also try simple phrases such as,

I hear what you're saying,

and I'd like to hear more about your point of view.

Or I wasn't aware of this, so thanks for letting me know.

It also helps to repeat what your colleague said

so that they know that you are listening.

For example, I understand that you feel left out,

because you weren't copied in on that email.

That must be very frustrating, and I understand.

And if it gets really out of hand, just, just be silly.

Roll up some paper, like a megaphone.

Pretend that it's a hostage situation

and show that you are listening to their needs.

Something like, John, we understand your situation.

Please, think about your coworkers.

Put down this stapler and let's go have a coffee break!

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Sometimes you or your coworker may just need a few minutes

to cool off.

A change in environment can be particularly helpful.

For example, you could say, Carol,

I see that you're frustrated.

Do you wanna go outside and go for a quick walk with me?

Or maybe we both need a break for a few minutes.

Let's take a break and come back after

we've had some fresh air.

And with these tips and expressions,

you'll be able to diffuse many situations

where you need to deal with a rude or aggressive coworkers.

It's not a comfortable situation,

but with the right words and attitude

you can handle the situation confidently, even in English.

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Now what about you?

Has there been a situation at work

where you successfully dealt

with an aggressive or rude coworker?

What did you say to resolve the situation?

Please, share your ideas in the comments.

After all, this is not an easy situation

and your ideas will surely help others who need it.

I'm looking forward to reading your comments

and thanks so much for learning English,

Speak English with Christina, I'll see you next time.