English Conversation Practice: Why trust=more speaking confidence.

2,510 views ・ 2023-01-23

Business English with Christina


Please double-click on the English subtitles below to play the video.

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You're looking for English conversation, practice a conversation partner,
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or maybe a conversation club,
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but you feel afraid to actually speak with
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other people. You know,
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I have a surprising secret that will help you feel more confident in
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conversation practice. And that is trust.
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Today you'll learn why trust is the missing piece for feeling
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confident in conversations and how you can find it. Let's go.
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Hi, I'm your English coach, Christina,
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and welcome to Business English with Christina.
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And today's topic is something that is very important to me.
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It's because, you know, I'm a business English communication coach.
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I run my own business, I lead an international team,
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and I hold English conversation groups all the time.
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And I've learned over the years just how important trust
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is. If you don't have trust,
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you can't feel comfortable in conversations,
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and you can't improve your English either because you, you're,
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you're never sure,
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you're always asking questions and you're just losing a lot of energy
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that you could be using to actually improving.
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And that's why trust is so important. Now,
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one of the most inspiring people that I know who talks about this topic
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is the researcher and professor Brene Brown.
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And here's what she has to say about trust.
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Trust is really important. But talking about trust is difficult.
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Talking about, it's a big word.
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Now, how do you know if you trust someone? If you think about it,
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trust in someone or confidence in someone is
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kind of hard to explain. And to get a better idea,
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we're gonna listen to a short clip where Brene Brown talks about trust
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in conversations.
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I think you'll be inspired and you'll also learn some great
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expressions in English. Ready?
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What are we talking about when we talk about trust?
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What are the pieces of trust that come together to make this kind of almost
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unnameable feeling that we have with people? Um, and a lot of it is gut,
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but as it turns out, we can really operationalize trust.
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What are we talking about when we talk about,
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that's a great expression because you can fill in that gap with
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any word that is maybe abstract or just something that you want to get clarity
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on. You know, what are we talking about when we talk about work-life balance?
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What are we talking about when we talk about productivity?
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Something to help you to get clarity on a concept.
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Another really interesting thing to notice in this clip is that,
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you know, even native speakers or advanced English speakers,
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they sometimes have to stop and to search for their words. I mean,
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in that clip, did you hear when she said things like, kind of,
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or almost, you know,
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these are ways that we are comparing a word to something else.
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Maybe we didn't find the exact right word,
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but we can make a comparison even if the meaning is not exact.
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And that's totally natural. That's a very normal way of speaking.
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You don't always have to have the exact perfect word
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for each thing. Now,
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what about saying that something is gut or gut instinct?
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It means that, you know, it's like you, you know,
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something like in your belly or in your stomach. And then we,
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we say that the intestine is the second brain. And, and that's that idea.
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Like you just feel it. You just know it, it you have this feeling,
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this intuition, and you can't understand it,
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and you don't have words to explain it. You just say,
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it's my gut instinct or my gut feeling.
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And all of these expressions show that it's not so easy to explain
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how or why we trust someone enough when we want to learn with them
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or join a conversation with them. We just, we just feel it. And as you can see,
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building trust in order to create great conversations,
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that is a soft skill. And like any soft skill,
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the fact that it's kind of hard to explain, hard to measure, you know,
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it seems like it's,
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it might be impossible to improve that skill because how can we improve
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something if we can't measure it, if we can't define it.
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But being able to build trust and being able to feel
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confident enough in yourself and in other people is a skill that
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is very valuable and that you can build. Now,
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Brene Brown talks about using the braving technique,
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and it's a great way of looking at trust that can help you define a
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great way to practice English conversations or just have better business
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conversations.
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And I use braiding. So seven elements of trust. B,
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boundaries are reliability, a accountability,
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V vault or confidentiality, I,
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integrity in non-judgment and g generosity.
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Now, I could talk about every item on that list for like an entire video,
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but maybe let's focus on just three that are too important
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for us to skip.
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If you want to be able to find trust and confidence in your
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English conversation, practice. Now the first one is boundaries.
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And that means the rules that are there to help you feel safe
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in a conversation in the conversation club that I developed my team
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and I make sure that everyone knows the rules,
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that it's important to take turns to share, speaking time,
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to support others, and to not judge others.
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Reliability is something else that will boost your confidence. I mean,
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look at the Conversation club and you know when it's going to happen.
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You know where it's going to happen. You know that there's a weekly schedule,
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defined topics, resources, structure,
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all of that is reliable for you. You can count on it.
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And that way you go in feeling more comfortable knowing what's happening.
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You know what to expect and you can trust it. And finally,
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one of the most important ways that my team and I use this breathing
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framework is non-judgment. You know,
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if you wanna feel comfortable enough to join a conversation with someone,
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you need to know that no one is judging you, that you can make mistakes,
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that you can ask any questions,
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and that it's okay to stop and search for your word to ask
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for help or to say like, you don't understand or you don't know something.
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So make sure that you surround yourself with people who know
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that you are being brave enough to show up, to practice,
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to put yourself into a situation where you know you will make mistakes.
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I know it's not easy to do,
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but it's so important. And I know that because I run my business in France and
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I've made tons of mistakes doing that.
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But I also surround myself with people where I can say like,
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I did this really stupid thing, and they, you know, they,
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they don't judge me for it. They're like, eh, it happens. You know,
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what did you do? What was your solution? Let me suggest a solution for you.
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And that just makes everything so much easier.
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So now you know why trust matters for great conversations and how important
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trust is if you are trying to become more confident in English
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conversations, practicing speaking,
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feeling comfortable speaking up in your meetings.
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And if you want to join me to learn more about this conversation club and how it
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can help you,
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join me on January 25th for a free interactive
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workshop where we go inside the Conversation Club to show you exactly
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how it will help you. So if you wanna come to the workshop,
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go ahead and join my newsletter to get your invitation. And so,
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so that I can see you there. And as I always say, if you don't use it,
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you lose it.
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So here's how you can take one thing that you learned today and use it in
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the con, in the comments, not the conversation. In the comments below,
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tell me what is one thing that makes you feel comfortable speaking in
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conversations in English? Is it the other person speaks more slowly?
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Is it telling them that English is not your language?
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Is it speaking with native speakers or speaking more with non-native
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speakers? What makes you feel comfortable in conversations in English?
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And of course, course, if you felt that this lesson was helpful for you,
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I would love to know.
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And there are three ways that you can tell me. Give this lesson a thumbs up on
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YouTube and subscribe to my channel so you get more business English lessons
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like this.
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You can go over to the blog post that goes with this video and really
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dive more deeply into the subject and also get more vocabulary
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for your English. And watch this next lesson,
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which is on five tips to speak English more confidently.
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It's a great place to start if you're thinking about becoming a member of our
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conversation club and starting your journey to feeling confident in
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English. And as always,
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thank you so much for improving your English and improving your business with
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business English with Christina, and I'll see you next time.
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