Being French In The USA, With Mathilde Piton

- Hi guys! This is Christina from Speak Better, Feel Great TV, the place to boost your English

and boost your career. This week we have another very special episode with a very special guest,

Mathilde Piton, who is a French woman who has lived in the US for four years now and

who has a fantastic blog, maathiildee.com, where she writes about her travels in the

US, about life in the US as a French person, cultural differences, expat life and it’s

absolutely fabulous and I’m very very honored to have her as a guest for this special episode.

In Boston, Mathilde is a jack of all trades or as she describes it, un couteau suisse.

She gives guided tours of Boston in French, she’s a travel writer, she’s a translator

and, like all freelancers, she’s just full of energy and lots of great projects. In the

conversation you’ll hear we’ll talk about the things that really grabbed your attention

when you first arrived in the US, about working with the US, the differences in attitudes,

mentality and also about speaking, of course, with Americans pronunciation, which is a big

hot topic here at Speak Better, Feel Great TV, and you’ll see that Mathilde she’s

got so much, so many insights to share with you about what it’s like living and working

with the Americans every day and I hope you will enjoy this interview as much as I enjoyed

speaking with Mathilde.

So hi, Mathilde, first of all I want to just say thank you for all of the wonderful articles

and the information on your blog, because it’s, you know, just very interesting for

me as an American living in France to read about the perspective of a French person living

in the United States. So thanks for taking some time to talk to us and to talk to the

members of the Speak Better, Feel Great community, who are very interested in things like cultural

differences. So just a big thanks.

-Well, thank you for having me.

- Yeah, maybe, first of all, could you just maybe tell us a little bit about your blog?

I mean, what can we find there? Why did you write it? Who is it for?

- So, I have this blog for – it’s been like four years now, I’ve been living in

the US four years now, it changes over time, it has shifted, sorry. So there are three

angles, basically, that - first it’s my life in Boston, Massachusetts, going out to

a restaurant, hiking in the mountains, going to the beach, some kind of stuff like that,

celebrating Halloween, travels as you mentioned, I try to travel as much as I can in the US.

I’m a travel writer, so I get to visit many places and then there’s also expat life

like how it is to be a French person in the US, but it tends to – I tend to post less

and less about this because it’s been a long time so I’m not surprised by things,

I get used to them, so…

-Yeah exactly… After a certain amount of time you start forgetting that things were

weird or different and it just becomes normal and I don’t know if this has happened to

you but it’s like sometimes when I go back to the US, I’m surprised that things that

are normal in the US…

- Yeah, but in this case I would do - When I come back to France, then I will do okay,

this is how I experience France, you know I don’t know, cultural chock…

- Yeah, like reverse culture chock, yeah, exactly and you get – yeah, it’s interesting

because you see your own culture for like an outside perspective, yeah., that’s very

interesting… I remember one time when I went to pay for something and I asked: “do

you take a bank card for less than 15 euros, dollars?” And she just looked at me like

“what are you talking about?” Oh, that’s right, it’s not France, you know…And so,

talking about differences, when you first arrived in the US, what were some of the big

differences that really jumped out?

- Well, I think that the thing is that there’s a trick, it looks the same, like it’s not

going to South Asia or to some really different country but everything is different, from

the way you cross the street, the fact that the light is up in the air or is on the other

side of the street, tiny details like also when you go to the bathroom and you want to

open the shower, like the – and to open the shower is very different… Yeah I have

a friend here from France and she was staying in my place and she went to the bathroom and

she came back with the tower around her asking “how do you open the shower?” Ok, so that’s

the tiny stuff, even when you want to order coffee, it’s different, everything is different,

when you tip at the restaurant, for instance… So all these tiny stuff in the daily life

and obviously there’s a difference in the way you interact with people, people… That’s

also probably why I write less and less on my blog, because I have many American friends

I don’t want to be too general, like to do…

- Like stereotypes or big general - Americans do this and you have five Americans that go

“no I never do that”…

- Compared to France, the US are so huge and each time I go somewhere else and I’m traveling

to another place other than Boston at night, Ok, this is different, the food is different

and so that’s also a big thing, the country is huge… It’s obvious to say but Boston

stays quiet small like you can walk around, you can bike. When I first moved here, my

friends from France were like, you will need a car, you will never walk again… It’s

not true in Boston, it’s maybe true in some parts of, maybe, I don’t know, Phoenix,

Arizona… my example of…

- …The stereotypical American town… yeah, so that’s some of the big differences, but

what about like the mentality, and the American mentality in the attitude maybe towards French

people? I mean are they very friendly there’s tension because it’s sort of a je t’aime,

moi non plus relationship sometimes… How is that, being a French person in the United

States?

-Well, it’s been awesome…no I’m just kidding…no, it’s been great, it’s been

great, people are really positive toward – like there’s no - I was not surprised by the

stereotypes that I have found here… I travel in Europe, so I know what we can say about

French people so they are the same here, but when I first got here, for instance, I didn’t

know anybody, so I would go to yoga classes… at beginning of the class somebody would say:

does anybody here is injured or has something to tell me? Yes, I am French I don’t say

don’t speak very good English and people were like really positively and I got friends

with my yoga teacher thanks to that, “Oh, we can have a coffee” and we actually got

a coffee. So I think, I think maybe more like in the years of Bush presidency it was more

complicated in some parts of the country I heard but for me it was always nice. I was

surprised by one stereotype, that we are quitters, like French people are quitters…

- …Like they abandon things…

- That we give up so I was surprised that - it’s kind of a joke sometimes…

- Yeah, I think that probably, you know, it comes from the World War II, Americans they

always make the joke like “Oh well, we saved you in WWII, because you gave up” and yeah

that’s true… I sometimes joke with my husband about that but I know that, in reality,

you know, it’s a joke, in reality of course- yeah I think, I think… You know, in every

country that you go to, there are cultural differences, but everybody is sort of the

same human being, deep down inside, exactly. OK, it’s a - it’s been a very positive

experience…

- Yeah, but sometimes there’s a lot of expectation coming from my American friends or people

I don’t really know that – Oh, Paris fashion and they might not know that I can wear sweatpants

in the streets… One time… it’s a silly story, but I went to a shop, I think it was

in Madwell, and the girl she was really young and she said - she asked me, like the cashier,

she said: “Oh, you’re French, do you only buy Chanel?

- Yes of course!

- It was cute…

- Yeah, exactly… Yes, it’s funny these - like stereotypes that people imagine of

you … I am trying to think - I don’t think - I’m sure I have had people say things

similar like I don’t know, you know, “do you do you wear cowboy hats all the time?”

or something… No, not really… It’s just the image that people have and since maybe

you’re the maybe the only French person that they’ve met although I have to ask

you really have everything Chanel at your house?

- That’s cute…

- Yeah, yeah…And what about speaking English, because Americans aren’t really famous for

their foreign language skills, so is it - first of all, when you arrived in the US, how was

your English?

- I think it was fine because I was - I had friends from German, Italy, Spain, so we would

speak English like…

- As the common language…

-…But I think it’s different when you - when I got here because here they have a

really strong accent… I feel like when you are in California, in the Midwest, it’s

easier because the accent is much softer, so yeah I was surprised sometimes, it was

more about me being understood by the people, it was the most challenging part. And the

thing is that also for the reading, I never read in English when I was in France, yeah,

I love reading in French, but here buying a book in French is expensive and I sort of

said, since I am living here I wanna know stuff about the cultures, so I need to read

in English so, but I started really low like I can read Hunger Games, yeah, it’s easy

to read and I was getting used to read in English and I think I can read pretty much

anything… So yeah but people are really tolerant I feel about…

- Yes, because perhaps they’re, I don’t know, maybe, you know, there’s so many different

immigrant populations in the US that maybe they just are used to speak in different accents,

yes…And… So did you say it was more difficult for you to understand the Americans or for

them to understand you?

- For me to be understood… Is it correct?

- Yes, yes, yes, exactly…Because, I mean, your English, I mean, it’s absolutely fabulous,

but was it because of the, I mean, what was it that caused the miscommunication?

- I think it was not just easy at the beginning for you to be able to speak fluently I worked

actually on the way I would pronounce stuff. I had a conversation partner at first and

I would just - because I learned English for so long when I was in France but I kind of

had the structure but I needed more practice, so we would work on how to say, I don’t

know, towel, for instance, or awesome or, I don’t know, cow, so I would just do that

she would be like - I would see the word cow- I would be, it would be ‘Koo’, she would

say, no it’s cow, so I would go cow, cow cow…Same with towel, at first I said ‘to-ou-él’,

I didn’t know how to say it, she said, “no, you have to say towel”… And now it’s

easy and I say towel…

- That is really interesting, so in fact, the way that you - not corrected, it’s not

correcting an accent - but the way that you managed to make yourself more easily understood

was really by focusing and really repeating specific sound with someone…

- Yeah, but she would also, if we would go to the restaurant, she would tell me “no,

you don’t say can I take a plate of French fries”, you know, “you don’t say take,

you say can I have?” French would say “Est-ce que je peux prendre…” So this kind of

tiny stuff and then reading, listening to stuff, talking to people, it gets better…

-Yes, it was - it’s almost like, you know, you had the the basics already and then your

partner, your conversation partner really helped you, would with like the little, the

little secrets, the little keys, like you say, you don’t say “I take French fries”,

I say “I have French fries”…

- But I feel that the reason is really different, for you I felt I had to work on this the way

we talk and then I would stress on some words and…

- How did you do that? How did you work on that?

- Just by repeating stuff…

- Ok, yeah, listening and repeating…

- Yeah, but not formally, I would just like, she wouldn’t help me doing it and then I

will try to do it, and there’s also the - I just heard myself saying the “h” and

that’s also something I had to work on, like not to be like “Can you ‘elp’ me?”

- Ah, yeah, right, “can you help me?” And how did you, how did you, like what did

you do so that that becomes automatic, that you don’t really have to think about it?

- Well, my husband is French and we are living together so we don’t speak English together,

but we have many friends here, so it’s just the fact that we were spending time with them

and we wanted to have interesting conversations, so I see more of this kind of practice, then

I work for a company and I just had had to speak more fluently…

- Yeah, like you just had to adapt, in fact…

- So I guess at first it was not automatic and then it became more and more…

- Automatic. So, yeah, it’s really conscious work on a specific thing, listening and repeating

which is, you know, it sounds really basic but, I mean that, it works, exactly…

-Yeah, I feel like it’s like learning a song or something…

- Yes, right, just listen, repeat, do it again… And yeah, you mentioned that you worked you

know, because the work culture can be a bit different also, what advice would you give

to someone who works with Americans, you know, as a French person who has worked with Americans?

- Well, I was surprised by tiny stuff, for instance, the way people write email. I felt

it was really straightforward, like in France, maybe it was in my company, I felt you do

more how are you? How’s your day? There’s a lot of dans l’attente de mes salutations

maybe too much, there’s a lot of stuff around …

- Formal fluff…

- Yeah, and here it was just “do this”, “do that” there was no, there was nothing

to, it was really strictly work…

- Ok, yes they send you messages that got the key message in it and you know what time

does the meeting start?

- Yeah and I at first I thought, “oh, that’s rude” but then I said, “no, that’s just

the way it is…” Like my boss was like really sweet everything but she would be “ok

I need an information”, I just give you the information…

- Oh, yes, so direct to the point…

- Yeah, yeah, as a French I felt that I was concerned about the way I talked, I had a

lot of meetings over the phone, people working on the West Coast, so it was like different

times, so I would be on the phone with my computer and people would do in a meeting

like that, and was concerned, ok, I need to understand everything because if they ask

me stuff, I need to be ready, so I was concerned about me not understanding English, so I said

it a lot to my boss and, at some point, she told me to stop saying that, to be confident

and she said to speak more loudly, sometimes I don’t understand you because your voice

is too low, because I would see people just like turning, but I feel I, sometimes, yeah,

this advice of being confident and it doesn’t matter so much I feel for American people

when somebody make mistakes…

- Like it’s, you know, the more important thing is to be able to communicate so you

need to do things like speak loudly, just put your sentence out there and not ask yourself

the question, was is that past simple or present perfect? Just ask the question but, yes, it’s

true that - and I think maybe just, I mean, as a natural part of conversation because

Americans, I mean, we don’t always understand each other perfectly also, I mean, it’s

anyone who communicates, that’s the situation and yeah I mean we’re used to saying things

like “I don’t know what you said”, “I don’t understand”, “what do you mean?”

and I think as someone speaking a foreign language, we automatically say “oh it’s

it’s because of me”…

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s good point, it’s true sometimes, it’s just because you have

a complicated idea, it’s not well explained, it’s not the way you speak but I also said

so to speak more loudly and sometimes to speak more slowly yes sometimes I think it’s a

good thing to - I think you posted something about not saying “euuuuh” too much…

That’s a good point like you just don’t - you just take your time to say things and

you don’t say ‘euuuh’. I think Americans don’t do that…

Maybe they…I think what what I do is I know I repeat things a lot. I’ll start with a

phrase, and then I’ll repeat a little part of that phrase or people just stop talking

and then, they think about what they wanna say and there is no ‘euuuuh’, ‘ta-ra-ra-ra-ra’…

Ok, and maybe just one final thing. If you had to give one piece of advice to someone

who wants to come and either live in the US or just visit the US, one piece of advice

for interacting with Americans, what would that be? That’s a hard question…

- The first thing that comes in mind would be don’t be shy…I feel like here people

even when you don’t know them, they speak to you really easily, they would say, I don’t

know, “nice shirt, nice hearings”, even though you don’t know them, so, yes, don’t

be shy…

- Don’t be shy, exactly, take the opportunity and try… That’s a brilliant piece of advice,

I think that’s right, maybe one of the most important things is just try. Ok, great, thanks

a lot, thank you so much, Mathilde, it’s a very very interesting conversation, lots

of good points and I’m just – that was very interesting to hear the perspective from

a French person in the US also, yeah, thanks a lot Mathilde…

- Thank you, bye, bye.

- And I’ll see you on the Internet, bye.

So I hope you enjoyed that conversation and I hope that you learned a lot about what it’s

like to speak and work with Americans and I hope that you feel also encouraged that

if you make mistakes, it’s ok the most important thing is to try to speak and don’t worry

too much about about your accent or about making mistakes the most important thing is

communication and as I said before I really hope that you will go and check out Mathilde’s

blog, Maathiildee.com, I’ll also put a link to it in the notes below this video, you’ll

see she has fabulous travel articles about her her adopted hometown Boston, New England,

California, the National Parks, New Orleans, lots of great places. Articles about life

in the USA about cultural differences and it’s just really fascinating blog so I encourage

you to go check that out and in the meantime, I will just say that I will see you next time

on Speak Better, Feel Great TV. See you later.