How to network when you’re shy in English - Business English Speaking Skills

- Hi there, I'm your English coach, Cristina.

And welcome to Speak English With Christina.

Where you'll learn about American culture

and business knowhow to become confident in English.

Conferences are a great opportunity to network

and grow your business, or excel in your industry.

However, many of my students have told me

that they feel shy at conferences.

This, combined with speaking English

rather than the language that they feel more confident in,

can make things extra difficult.

For some people their shyness and language confidence

may prevent them from going to conferences.

Missing out on educational and fun networking opportunities

because you feel too shy, now that's tragic to me.

And that's why I created this episode.

I hope that the tools and strategies that I share today

will help those of you suffering from shyness

to feel more confident at conferences.

So if you're shy and it prevents you from doing

the things that can help your career or business evolve,

this episode is for you.

Let's go.

(upbeat music)

If you're attending a conference

you need your smalltalk skills up to speed.

And that's why I'm creating a new course

to help you master social situations

and everyday conversations in your professional life.

It teaches you how to socialize with confidence

and build up those important personal

and professional relationships, to get techniques

to make you a good conversationalist.

As well as understand cultural differences

on a deeper level.

If you're ready to network like a pro,

and improve your social skills for the next conference,

then try the course.

In as little as 20 minutes a day you can feel confident

in American English at your next conference.

And there's a link in the show notes

with more information about the course.

(jazzy music)

Going to a conference can be intimidating,

especially if the room is full of strangers.

But, the internet is a great tool for shy people.

A big fear for many introverts is walking up to someone

that they don't know and striking up a conversation.

However, meeting people online is much easier

than meeting them in person for the first time.

If you're shy, I suggest that you get active online.

Make contacts before the conference.

That way you already know their names,

where they work, and a bit about their personality.

When you attend the conference, guess what,

it won't feel like you're introducing yourself

to 50 strangers, now that you have the names

and a personal rapport with some of the attendees

it'll feel like you're attending an event with friends.

(jazzy music)

It can be intimidating to join a group of people

who are already talking at a conference.

So instead, try to arrive early and sit at an empty table.

It's much easier to have people join you

rather than you join a large group.

Each time someone joins your table,

introduce yourself and make a little small talk.

For example, hi, my name's Christina.

This is my first time at the conference, how about you?

Or, no, this seat isn't taken.

Please have a seat.

My name's Christina.

And then, let them introduce themselves.

And then you can say something about what you do.

Like, so I help people speak

American English with more confidence.

What do you do?

And, you see, you go back and forth in a conversation.

Not a monologue.

(jazzy music)

Many conferences offer a pre-conference.

And I know, you're probably thinking,

why would you wanna put yourself through

two conferences instead of one?

But, hear me out.

These may be classes, workshops, or mixers and social events

before the actual conference starts.

If you're shy, consider joining a pre-conference activity.

The group will likely be much smaller and less intimidating.

You may also be distracted by another focus,

especially if it's a class.

And this may take the pressure off of making smalltalk.

Instead, conversations can flow naturally

based on the subject that you're learning together.

And with a bit of practice, when the conference begins,

you will already have a small group of people that you know

and you can talk to easily.

(jazzy music)

Joining a group of people already in a groove

talking can be very intimidating.

So I suggest eavesdropping.

Well, not exactly.

If there's a group of people already talking

and you'd like to join that group,

first approach the group,

listen to their conversation,

and then slowly start contributing to it

as you find something to say.

Even if it's just a short contribution or a question.

The goal is to jump in the conversation,

in a polite way, and become part of the group.

And this isn't rude.

In fact, this is usually how conference conversations start.

The group that you just joined

will be very happy to hear your contributions,

even if you have your accent.

(jazzy music)

While extroverts replenish their energy

during social encounters, introverts, like me,

need some alone time to recharge.

And there isn't a right or wrong way about this, no.

But take the time throughout the conference

to replenish your energy so that you don't become stressed,

overwhelmed, or (growling) irritable, no.

And to do so, just find a quiet place at the conference

where you can have some personal time.

You may take a short 15 minute walk alone.

Or find a tranquil out of the way spot

where you won't be interrupted.

Or go grab a coffee, but away from the conference venue

where everyone else will be.

If someone tries to make a conversation

during your personal time, you can give

an excuse for wanting to be alone.

Like, hey, would you mind if we catch up later?

I just need to check some work emails.

Of course, that works if you have

your phone or your computer with you.

Or, can we maybe meet later?

I just need to take care of a few work calls.

Again, make sure you've got your phone

if you wanna be credible there.

Of course, you can also just be honest and say,

I'd love to talk a bit later, but I just need

some quiet time to recharge if you don't mind.

No offense, I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed here.

And while Americans tend to celebrate sociability,

many people will probably understand.

And they may even be jealous that you had the courage

to admit that you needed some time alone.

(jazzy music)

Set small achievable goals for yourself.

And this may be as simple as introducing yourself

to one person before 11 a.m.,

I know I'm not wearing a watch,

before 11 a.m. at the conference.

Or you may try to find someone else at the conference

who you suspect may also be shy.

Another possible goal is to sit down with someone

who's eating their breakfast or lunch alone.

And you can use this opportunity

to find out more about them.

For example, you could say, hi, may I join you?

If you want to sit with the person.

Or, what brings you to the conference?

Or, so how many of these conferences have you been to?

If you set small achievable goals, like this one,

by the end of the conference you will be acquaintances

with many people at the conference.

And those quick little waves from across the room

the duration of the conference

will really boost your confidence.

(jazzy music)

You know, people on TV,

they always seem so confident, don't they?

Wouldn't you wanna be that person

who can just stroll up to a stranger

and say, oh hi, I'm Christina, what's your name?

Well, what if you pretended to be that person,

just this once, on conference day.

You can play the role of

a socially confident English speaker.

Because after all, I mean, a lot of this is in your head.

So just play a different role for today,

and imagine you've got that confidence, and try it out.

And if you feel shy about your English skills

you can introduce yourself and your nationality.

For example, hi, I'm Maria.

And as you can hear, I'm originally from Brazil,

but I've been here in New York for three years now.

Now, I wasn't going to try to imitate

a Brazilian accent there 'cause that would just be

a very insulting to that beautiful accent

that I do not master.

But, you get the point.

So, here your English skills, your accent,

and your background don't hold you back.

And in fact, these qualities may be what gets

an interesting conversation going at a conference.

So embrace your differences, embrace your accent,

because they make you memorable.

(jazzy music)

Now, how about you?

Have you been to a conference before?

And was it difficult to strike up or to start

a conversation and make small talk?

If you have any tips for others,

particularly those who may be shy,

please, please, please, share them in the comments below.

And if you've been a student of American English

for years now, and you still feel awkward

making small talk, check out my new course

designed to help you master social situations

and everyday conversations in your professional life.

The link for more information is below in the show notes.

So thank you for learning with Speak English With Christina.

And I'll see ya next time.