How to make small talk in English

- Hi there.

I'm your English coach Christina,

and welcome to Speak English with Christina

where you'll learn American culture

and business knowhow

to become confident in English.

You know that Americans

make a lot of small talk.

It helps build trust

and rapport among strangers,

and it signals to others that you are friendly,

perhaps someone to create a friendship

or do business with.

A lot of English learners think

that small talk is superficial and boring.

Sure, it can be.

But it doesn't have to be

if you make a bit of an effort.

Is small talk worth that effort?

Yes.

Is it easy?

Mm, it can be with a few conversation starters

up your sleeve.

You may have watched my episode

on chit-chat a few weeks back.

In that episode, we discussed ways to improve

the flow of your informal conversations

with a few simple techniques,

and a shift in how you think about small talk.

And in this episode,

I'd like to share specific conversation starters

that you can memorize so you can make small talk

no matter where you are.

Let's go.

(groovy music)

I'm guessing that you wanna have

better conversations in English, right?

Otherwise, you wouldn't have clicked

on this episode about small talk.

Well, I have a new course available

designed to help you master

social situations and everyday conversations

in your professional life.

It teaches you how to chit-chat

with confidence about the weather,

current events, film, food, and much more.

And you also discover the typical phrases

that American English speakers

frequently use when socializing,

get techniques to make you

a good conversationalist,

as well as understand cultural differences

on a deeper level.

And if you wanna start interesting conversations

without feeling awkward

and make real connections in business,

there is a link in the show notes

with more information.

(groovy music)

As for small talk,

well, it can happen anywhere.

However, usually, we make small talk

when we're waiting in line

at the grocery store, at the dentist's office,

the bus stop, the coffee shop,

the movie theater, the post office.

Well, I think you get the idea.

Social events such as parties or networking events

are another opportunity for small talk.

However, in these situations,

small talk is also called mingling.

However, it means the same thing,

short, informal, friendly chit-chat

with people that you might know very well,

or at all.

(groovy music)

There are several safe topics

for making small talk,

and these safe topics include

the weather, current events

if it's not too controversial,

sports, food, travel, or work.

Now, in some cultures, talking about work

with someone that you don't know very well

might be considered rude.

However, if you make small talk with Americans,

you'll find that we like to talk about work a lot.

(groovy music)

A simple conversation starter about work

is to ask, "What do you do?"

And this means what do you do for work,

and the correct answer is your job title

or your main activity.

For example.

"I'm the CEO of Revolution Cosmetics."

Or "I run my own software security business."

Although work is usually a topic

that most people can relate to,

it can be a tricky subject.

Someone may not enjoy their job

or find talking about work tedious.

So if you do ask about work,

here are a few ideas

to keep the conversation unexpected

and encourage more interesting responses.

For example, you could ask,

"Did you have a good week at work,

"or are you more looking forward to the weekend?"

Or "My younger brother wants

to start his own company,"

or some other profession or activity

related to what the other person does.

"Do you have any advice that I could pass on?"

These questions are more specific,

and they create an opportunity

for a more open-ended response,

rather than the usual "what do you do"

conversation starter, which is just fine.

It's a great conversation starter.

But if you want something different,

you have something.

(groovy music)

Ah, the weather.

Talking about the weather is a safe topic.

It's a shared experience.

Everyone can relate to the weather,

and you can use this topic

as a conversation starter

in a variety of situations,

in line at the grocery store,

with the barista at the coffee shop,

at a party, anywhere.

Here are a few examples

of weather conversation starters.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?"

Or "Pretty rotten day out there."

Or "How about this crazy weather?"

Or "Can you believe all the snow

that we've been having?"

Or "Looks like it's gonna snow this weekend."

Or "Wow, we couldn't ask for a nicer day, could we?"

As you can see, you can pretty much say

anything to comment on the weather,

and it doesn't have to be deep

or even particularly interesting.

Talking about the weather is like a door.

You're just opening the conversation

to go into a more interesting direction.

You make a comment on the weather,

the other person responds,

and then you can pick up on something

to continue the conversation

in a more interesting,

personal direction.

- I hope the weather is nice this weekend.

- Yeah, me too.

If it's nice, I think I might go

jogging or something like that.

- Yeah, I hope it is,

because last weekend, I could not go

because it was raining so much.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

So that's why I'm really looking forward.

Do you jog?

- I do, actually.

- Oh okay.

Oh great, wow.

Do you wanna um, maybe we could

go jogging together one day?

- I'd love that.

- Okay. - Not this weekend,

because I'm going to do the racing at sea.

- Oh wait, the half marathon?

- Yeah. - Oh me too.

Oh.

- Really? - Wow.

- Maybe we'll see each other there.

- Definitely we could go by car together.

- Good idea.

(groovy music)

Let's say you've been waiting in line

at the grocery store.

You're bored and you'd like to pass the time

but not on Facebook or on your phone.

Maybe you suspect that other people

waiting in line are bored too

and little do they suspect

they're about to become someone

that you can practice English with.

You could start a conversation with

"Wow, I didn't think it would be so busy today!"

or "Looks like we might be waiting for a while, hm?"

or "Looks like Monday mornings are rush hour here."

or "I'll have to remember

"not to shop here on Monday mornings."

Are you noticing a pattern here?

Small talk at the grocery store often centers

on complaining about waiting in line,

and that's fine.

It builds comradery.

You know, misery loves company,

as we say in English.

So use your shared situation

to open the door to a little small talk.

You have nothing to lose

'cause you'll probably never see that person again.

(groovy music)

Let's say you're at the coffee shop

and you want to make friendly small talk

with your barista.

You could start with

"How's your day been so far?"

And this is especially nice

when they ask, "How are you today?"

because not many people probably ask them

how they are feeling today in a genuine way.

So if you ask, "I'm fine.

"And how's your day been so far?"

with a little emphasis on your day,

you're almost sure to get a smile.

Or you could comment on something

that's changed in the store

or a new item on the menu.

For example.

"Ooh, I see that you have a new pastry here.

"Have you tried it?"

Since this is a service transaction

the conversation probably

won't go much further than that.

But it's an excellent opportunity

to practice short mini conversations

in English to build your confidence.

(groovy music)

Some people thrive in party mode

and others feel less confident.

Here are a few conversation starters

for the next time that you're mingling

at a party or a networking event.

You can ask how someone else knows

the host of the party.

"So, how do you know Robert?"

Or if you're at a networking event,

ask how they learned about the event.

"So how did you hear about this event?"

Or you could compliment them on something.

Now for this don't be too too personal

or it's a little creepy.

Just pick something neutral like,

"I really love your earrings,

"where did you get them?

Or "I like your shoes, they're really original."

Or "That scarf goes really well with your complexion,

"blue must be your color."

If you know the person already

and you know that they recently did

something remarkable or interesting,

feel free to compliment them on that.

Everyone loves an ego boost.

For example.

"I read your article yesterday in The Atlantic.

"How does it feel to be a published author?"

(groovy music)

We might call it small talk

but it's really anything but small.

Friendships, business partnerships,

mentorships, marriages, just about anything

can be founded on small talk.

So I hope these conversation starters

have given you ideas to go out there

and strike up a conversation.

You have nothing to lose

and a world of relationships

and improved English speaking skills to gain.

Now, what about you?

Do you have any tried and true

conversation starter ideas?

And if so, share them in the comments below.

And if you've been a student

of American English for years now

and you still feel awkward making small talk,

check out my new course designed

to help you master social situations

and everyday conversations in professional life.

The link with more information

is below in the show notes.

Thank you so much for learning

with Speak English with Christina

and I'll see you next time.