How to stop feeling embarrassed when you don't understand in English

Hi guys, this is Christina and you’re watching Speak Better, Feel Great TV. The place to

boost your English and boost your career. Have you ever had a conversation with Americans

and there were some things you just didn’t understand? Even if you’ve got a decent

level of English? You feel, well a bit lost and confused when Bob the big American says

something like “Well, ya might wanna have a look at your figures again and get back to

me later on. Whaduhyathink?” “Uh, what?”

Today, I’ll show you what to do when you

just don’t understand the other person so that you never have to feel lost or embarrassed again.

You ready?

There are two simple techniques you can use when you don’t understand someone. First,

Ask for repetition. Second, ask for a different explanation.

We’ll look at what you can say for each situation and how you can do it without just

saying “Could you repeat, please?” Believe it or not, studies suggest that up to 60%

of professional communication between two Americans leads to misunderstandings. That means that

Americans too are asking other Americans to repeat or to explain differently. If they

can do it, so can you!

So let’s have a look at what you can say to understand better. Number one: asking for

repetition

If you just want the person to say something again and you want to sound natural when doing it, you can

say: What was that?

Say that again. What did you say?

Let’s try it. I’m your American conversation partner and you want me to repeat what I say.

“Hey. What time are ya thinking about going over to the venue?”

“Yeah, I said what time are you going to the venue?”

Usually when people repeat, they say the same thing in a slightly simpler way because they

realize that if the other person is asking for repetition, something was difficult to

understand.

Number two: asking for a different explanation If you think you’d better understand with

a different explanation or maybe you’re just really not sure what the person is talking

about, you can say: What do you mean?

I don’t get what you mean.

I don’t understand what you’re saying.

You may think “I don’t understand what you’re saying” is too direct, but actually

it’s ok if you sound polite. For example (politely) “I don’t understand what you’re saying”

sounds a lot better than (impolitely & flat) “I don’t understand what you’re saying”

And it's definitely more polite than

“I don’t understand.”

Let’s try it. I’m your American conversation partner and you want me to explain something

differently.

“Hey, I’m gonna go over to John’s office and see if he’s got everything ready for

tomorrow, ok?”

“For the presentation tomorrow. John’s

organizing everything and I want to make sure it’s all ready.”

When people reformulate they might add more details, because they see that their first

explanation wasn’t clear.

So, before we finish, here’s something to always, always remember: When a conversation

is not in your native language and you don’t understand something, it’s not automatically

YOUR fault. You may think that, but you’re wrong. I know, because I used to think the

same thing when I didn’t understand something that someone said in French, which is my second

language. But I’ve realized that the problem could also come from the way the other person

speaks, the fact that I’m missing some information about the subject, or maybe there’s too

much noise around us and conversation’s difficult.

Just a recap, do you remember what to say to ask for repetition? Go on say the expressions

to yourself. I’ll wait.

What was that? Say that again. What did you say?

And if you want them to explain differently? Go on, say the expressions to yourself. I’ll wait.

What do you mean?

I don’t get what you mean. I don’t understand what you’re saying.

Here’s a challenge for you: This week, try to use some of these expressions. Even if

you do understand everything someone says in English, ask them to repeat or to explain

differently. Hearing something twice never hurts, and it’ll give you the opportunity

to apply what you’ve learned in this video. Then come back and tell us about your experience

in the comments section below.

Remember the best way to boost your English and boost your career is to work regularly

on your English communication skills. The best way to make sure you do is to sign up

for updates from The Speak Better, Feel Great Blog at christinarebuffet.com. You’ll get

tips and resources every week, delivered directly to your inbox.

I’m Christina, from Speak Better, Feel Great TV. See ya!