Polite English Conversation: How to take feedback

Hey guys. Welcome back. Thanks for coming here, right now to learn some

more. What are we doing? We are learning how to receive feedback. Sometimes

feedback you will get will be good. And our natural reaction to that will be

really happy. Yep. So we're going to learn how to graciously accept good

things that are said to us, but also how to listen to criticism, and to show that

we are emotionally mature, and resilient, to be able to want to improve

and learn from any suggestions that we are given without taking personal

offense to that person. And I think it's a very important skill that we have in

today's consumer driven society, because people have a voice, we're always

writing reviews. And, you know, we live in an email culture when people can very

quickly let you know what they think about something. So here we are, let's

learn.

First of all, what can you say, if someone says something complimentary

towards you? Well, you could say "thanks so much for your support. I really

appreciate it." So the way this sentence is constructed, it comes across as being

quite genuine. Because I've got "so", yeah, so it shows that, you know, I

really appreciate it. And we've actually even said that -- "I really" -- so it's

the "so" and the "really", that indicate that you know that this is important to

us.

Here, "It's really nice to know I'm on the right track". I say that's the kind

of thing you would say to your boss, because you want to show that you are

doing things in the way that they want you to do them. Now, the vocab I've used

here is the kind of thing that we would say in normal speech. But if you're

trying to use really good vocab, then "nice" isn't a particularly good word.

So should we think of something that we could replace "nice" with? It's, you

could say, "it's reassuring to know that..." Yep, "reassuring" I'm going to

write that down. Reassuring... reassuring to know that.

On to my next one. "That's really kind. I have to say, though, that such and

such and such a person deserves the credit." So what I'm doing there is I'm

showing that I'm not selfish, that I'm prepared to give someone else the glory

for something that went well. "That's really kind I have to say, though," that

"I have to say" it means like, I can't not do this. Yeah. I'm such a good

person that I have to do this. "They deserve the credit."

Or my fourth option, very simply: "So glad you liked it." Yeah. Maybe you've

been playing in a concert and someone saw it. "I'm glad you liked it. That's

great."

Sad face sad face. Yep, they didn't like it. So what we're trying to do here is

show that we're listening. Yep. To show that we care what that person thinks.

"Ah, okay." So I'm trying to work out are what was it that they didn't like?

"Sorry?" Yeah, I'm sorry. You didn't enjoy that. I'm sorry. You didn't enjoy

your meal at my restaurant? Well, that's good to know that the chicken soup

tastes revolting. Yep. So I'm showing that I want to make my restaurant

better. Yep. I'm going to go back into the kitchen now and improve the recipe.

Thanks for pointing it out. Yep. You're making the customer feel valued. And

you're also creating a culture where you're given suggestions for improvement

and it helps to make the restaurant better or the business better.

Okay, second way: "Yeah, you're right. I was just trying to..." So this is here,

we're being a little bit defensive because we're kind of trying to explain

what we were doing. So if I was teaching a lesson and someone watched it, and

they felt that it hadn't gone well, then I might say, "Yeah, no, you're right. I

was just trying to make it interesting for such and such a person. But by doing

that, it meant that this happened."

Okay. Right. Now, sometimes we can just have one-word sentences in English.

"Interesting." So that's short for "that is interesting", but I just say,

interesting. And then you're asking for advice. How do you think I could improve

it? How do you think I could improve it? Yeah, you're showing that you're not

closed off. You're open to feedback. Now, this comment here, this is in

response to if the other person says, "Oh, I hope you're not upset by that."

Then you say "no, no, no, no, no, not at all, me upset? No. It's great to get

some honest feedback actually. Upset? No, this is helpful stuff." Yeah, I'm

getting better.

Now, if the feedback involves someone else, then you can say, I'll certainly

pass that on. Yep. Pass it on, I will share that information. Okay, so I'm

about to rub this off now. So why don't you just pick a couple of phrases for

you to write in your book? Do you have a book, pen? Yeah. Why don't you pick one

right now? Good, because we're going on to the next page. Sometimes you might

not agree with what they say. In which case, you still need to be civil and

polite and share a good attitude. But you could invite some sort of discussion

about that. So a phrase to use maybe: "I see what you're saying but don't you

think that...?" Yeah, I see what you're saying about the chicken curry. But

don't you think the consistency is pretty good? Or... "I see what you're

saying but don't you think actually that the flavors are quite strong in that

dish? Don't be sort of: "You're wrong!" Yep. Because then we're going to have

some sort of nasty argument.

Or: "To be honest, what I was trying to do was...". "To be honest, what I was

trying to do with this chicken curry, is to give you a really nice hot meal with

lots of authentic flavors of India. But... you know, not everyone likes it.

So thank you for telling me. And I'm really sorry if you felt disappointed by

the dish, but, but do bear in mind that 99.9% of my customers have been very

happy with that dish." So we're not being a total walkover, a pushover. We

are kind of fighting our corner a little bit.

And then it's always important to try and finish on a good note. So you could

offer to try and do something to make the situation better. If you have

received criticism, would it help if I brought you out another dish? What about

if I went into the kitchen and fixed you up a dedicated...? Why don't you come

back another day and I will offer you 50% off the bill.

"I know! Let's..." Okay, so I'm not getting all upset by any criticism. I'm

thinking on my feet and I'm finding solutions that are going to work for

both of us. Okay, so let's recap. We have received compliments and we have

thanked the person for their feedback. It's best if you don't get like too

overexcited by someone saying something good. Yeah, take it. You know, it's nice

to hear, but it's not like "waaaah!". And we have received criticism, and

we've listened to the points they have to make. But if we really disagree, then

we're going to come into a discussion. And then at the end, we always make sure

we have a good conclusion to any kind of feedback.

Why don't you have a go now at doing the quiz, just to reinforce the learning and

try and memorize these phrases. If you're a subscriber, thanks, make sure

you keep watching my videos. Notifications -- let's have them, and I

will see you in the next video. If you want any extra help: honeyourenglish.com

for Skype, tuition in writing and speaking. Thanks for watching. See you

soon.