English Conversation Skills: 12 methods to persuade and convince people

Hi.

Welcome back to engVid.

Today's lesson we are looking at persuasive devices; such a useful skill for so many different

things in life.

Maybe it's at the... at work, maybe it's doing a presentation at work, maybe you're persuading

a friend of a point of view - this lesson could come in handy, whoever you are.

We're looking at twelve persuasive devices.

Today's situation: So, I'm flying to India on Saturday and I want to get an upgrade from

normal economy class up to first class.

So, let's see how we can use these persuasive techniques to achieve that goal.

First off: Empathy.

Empathy is getting someone to see your point of view; getting someone to understand where

you are coming from; get them to see your POV. (short for point of view).

So, my example that I have come up with: "You must understand, our baby won't sleep

if we are in the economy section."

I'm getting the person to try and see things from my side.

Next technique: Shock - suddenly get their attention; surprise them.

"He's smashing the door!

He's going to go mental!

He's going to cause chaos!

There will be a crash!

We will all die!"

Okay?

Surprise them.

Twist: Get them to suddenly see things from a new point of view; get them to rethink.

For example: "Do you want your passengers to be screamed

at for 10 hours?"

Okay?

Flip it over.

Emotive.

So, we can see in here the word... well, the word "emotion" - this is obviously going to

be about feeling.

Okay?

Get them to feel sorry for you.

Sell a bit of a sub-story; use those emotive words, those feelings that have strong emotions.

Okay?

Get them to feel sorry for you.

"My tired, sleep-deprived family."

Okay?

So I'm laying on the description to try and get them feel sorry.

It kinds of leads into this next point of: Get them to feel guilty if they don't help.

"I'm just asking for a chance of calming this baby down."

Okay?

"I'm just", so: "Poor, old me, just asking for a little bit of help."

Okay?

So, we're getting them on our side; maybe shock, maybe twisting it around, and then

really laying on the emotion so they're really understanding this point.

I'm not saying that all of these persuasive devices have equal merit.

Okay?

There are some that are better to use; there are some you use more in an extreme situation.

Okay?

Obviously the strongest thing when you're being persuasive is to make sure that your...

your ideas, your reasons are really strong; the device is kind of the cream on the cake.

Flattery - another quite naughty technique.

This is where you are paying compliments.

You may wish after this video to watch a couple of my other videos, which I've made on compliments

and criticism.

So, flattery.

An example, here: "A professional person like you, understanding...

a professional, understanding person like you must see that it's clearly the right thing

to do to put us in the first-class section of the plane."

If they don't do that, maybe you can threaten them.

So, threat is where you say something, and if they don't do that, it's going to be trouble.

Threat.

Example: "Let me talk to your boss."

Okay?

"Let me talk to your boss."

If they don't do something, there's going to be a consequence.

Rule of 3 - now, we saw this in the Shakespeare, I think it was the insults lesson where we

have... actually, no, it was the Shakespeare compliments, the Shakespeare chat-up lines

where we have three things in a row.

The rule of 3, it's a list of three reasons or qualities.

Okay?

I don't just say it once; I say it twice, and then three times: "I came, I saw, I conquered."

Or the French motto: "Equality, liberty, fraternity", but in French, obviously.

Okay, so the rule of 3.

My example in this situation: "It would provide reassurance, comfort, and

support."

So, when we reassure, we are putting that good feeling back into someone.

Yeah?

"Re" - back in; when you assure, you're telling someone it's okay.

When we feel reassured, we're feeling okay again.

Comfort, support.

Okay?

They're all three quite similar words, but the rule of 3, I'm just saying it in a slightly

different way each time.

A rhetorical question.

A rhetorical question is a question that does not expect an answer.

Example: "Surely you can help me?"

So, a rhetorical question is quite... quite a nice way of having a change in an argument;

you're coming up with these different reasons - the rhetorical question puts a pause in

because it's: "Well, where's the answer?"

Repetition: "Please, please help."

Yap.

The second "please", there, repeated, adds to the sense of desperation and urgency with

which we need this help.

Okay.

Another way you could try is by trying to strike a deal with the person.

Okay?

So, a deal is an agreement.

What's in it for them?

How can they benefit from helping you?

"If you help me, I'll help you.

If you help me, I'll help you get a promotion by writing a fantastic report saying you are

employee of the month."

Or why not use some facts and statistics?

Okay?

So: "A baby needs to sleep every six hours."

"If I just have him sat on my lap, he's not going to sleep, therefore there will be pain,

therefore the other customers/passengers will be upset/inconvenienced, therefore I think

that if we find a more comfortable place for him..."

Okay?

So, I'm using reasons to help with my argument.

I'll let you know how this goes on Saturday when I try this out, but it would be great

if you tried these persuasive techniques out yourself.

So, think of an example: Who do you need to persuade at the moment?

What's a situation in which you could try to change things, take things into your own

hands?

Will you get people to understand your point of view?

Can you shock them?

Have some fun with that.

How can you twist things around?

How can you get someone to suddenly go: "Oh.

Oh yeah, I hadn't thought of that"?

Can you use words that get people feeling your story?

Words like: "Hunger", "desperation", "sadness", "urgently".

Okay?

Lots of adverbs have emotive qualities.

Can you get them to feel guilty if they don't help you?

Charm them, pay them compliments, then get in and tell them what you need.

Threaten them, but in an unintimidating way.

Be, you know, forceful without being confrontational.

Okay?

We don't want to fight, here.

Rule of 3: List three reasons or qualities.

Ask that question.

Really make them think.

Use repetition to really put your point across.

Can you strike a deal?

Can you think of any facts or statistics that would help with your argument?

I do hope that has been helpful for you.

Why not try the quiz now to really engrain this knowledge so that you can use it in your

everyday life?

Thanks for watching.

Remember to subscribe, and I'll see ya in the next video.