How to Give (and Accept) Compliments in English: Social & Business Settings

Hey, guys. Welcome back to engVid. In today's lesson, we are going to be looking at compliments

and giving and receiving them. We're looking at social settings in which you might give

a compliment to someone, and compliments that would work better in a more business arena.

Why are compliments important? Well, because it's important that people know that you are

appreciating what they do, because then they're more likely to continue to bother to do that.

I know that my mum thrives off compliments. If I don't give her one, then all hell sets

loose. Okay, so these ones here are more for what you might say to a friend or a family

member. Let's look at the first one. "You should be proud of yourself." Right. So, for

this one, I'm imagining saying it to my son. He's done something good. "Well done, you.

You should be really proud of yourself. That's great. Well done." So, this is the word that

I emphasize in the sentence. I'm focusing there. "You should be proud of yourself."

This one is very different. "You're really making a difference." It's a more serious

kind of remark, and you would have less opportunity to use it. This is maybe if you're meeting

someone at a party, and you're finding out that they're doing some fantastic social work,

that they are teaching in a disadvantaged school, or they're helping someone to do something

worthwhile. I think that's fantastic. You're really making a difference. We need more people

like you. Yeah?

Next one. I've crossed out "you're", because I think sometimes if we're just saying "you're

this", "you're that", it can be a bit too direct. So, "perceptive". "Perceptive" means

that you... You see and you understand things as they are, and you see and understand more

than most people do. So, if someone says something that is quite wise and thought-provoking,

I could say, "Wow, that's really perceptive. Yeah, I'd never thought that before. That's

very perceptive. You're a great listener." I think we need to be careful we don't sort

of overstep the mark with compliments. So, particularly in England, there's a bit of

a tendency to hold back and not be quite as forthright as our North American friends.

You're a great listener. You're showing that you appreciate that that person really listens

to you. Okay?

You've got a wonderful eye for detail. So, that's a nice thing to hear from someone,

isn't it? You've got a wonderful eye for detail. You're saying that they've done a really good

job in whatever they're doing, it's just been done absolutely perfectly, and they're always

doing things like that. What better thing could you say? A wonderful eye for detail.

So, it's like their eye is looking out, and they're seeing all the different... I don't

know, maybe they've got a wonderful eye for making the house look nice, or the table has

been arranged in such a way that it just looks inviting to go and sit down. There are flowers

here, the placemats have all been put out very precisely, and the glasses all look really

good.

This one's another good one. Is there anything you can't do? Yeah? So, emphasis here on "can't".

It's like this is Wonder Woman or Wonder Man. Yep. They literally can do it all.

You've got such infectious enthusiasm. Yep. So, an infection is like a sort of disease

and illness that spreads. Yep. So, if the enthusiasm spreads, then that person is making

everyone else kind of happy and energetic. Yep. You've got such infectious enthusiasm.

Infectious enthusiasm. It's quite a difficult phrase to say that. Can you practice saying

that? Infectious enthusiasm. Infectious enthusiasm. Yeah, keep practicing that.

Okay. Business. Now, compliments here, we need to be a little bit careful. Yeah? Still

give them, but you don't want to be seen as being sort of seductive or sleazy. Yep. So,

keep it kind of maybe related to the job that they've been doing. "Well done. That was great."

Well done. That was an excellent meeting. You did a great job at chairing that. You

did a great job at... You're looking very well. Yep. So, this is... It's not sort of

too personal, it's just saying that the person's, you know, they're looking the picture of health.

"I like your..." Maybe someone's wearing a brooch or an interesting tie. Yep. It's nice

to notice these details. The people actually bother to notice what you're wearing. "I thoroughly

enjoyed that." So, "thoroughly" means really. "I really enjoyed that. It was so... So informative.

I learned so much from it. Thank you."

"Impressive", I put this. It's just a useful adjective to give someone a compliment. "That

was a really impressive talk. I never knew that." Yeah? "You taught me something new."

An impressive presentation, an impressive talk, an impressive slideshow, an impressive

display. Yeah? Good adjective to use. Another quite simple one. "Well done. Excellent meeting.

Well done. Good job." Now, this is quite useful, here, because if you are saying that you are

familiar with a person's work before you meet them, it shows that you're the type of person

that researches, and therefore you're a hard worker, and you're kind of... You think outside

the box. "I read or I saw your... I read your book, and I thought it was really, really

interesting, actually. I especially enjoyed the travel section in the Republic of Congo."

I've got a friend who travels around the world and writes adventure stories. Charlie Walker.

"I saw your talk at the Royal Geographical Society, and yeah, I found it fascinating,

actually. Yeah, I'd love to ask you some questions about it." Okay? So, this is something that

you would say to someone that you don't really know as a way of maybe starting a conversation,

but you're giving a compliment because you're saying their work's good. Okay?

So, we're going to move on, now, to how you receive compliments. Okay? So, I think the

message, here, is that you want to make it like you have... You appreciate the comment,

but it's not going to, like, knock you on the ground. Yep? It's like you're not going

to make a huge thing of it, but you are going to, you know, be grateful to that compliment.

"That's really kind of you. Thank you so much. That's very kind of you." Or this one, you're

sort of feigning, pretending a little bit surprised. "Really? Oh, you're so kind." You're

kind of playing a bit, here. "You're too kind." It's kind of playful. "You're too kind. Oh,

you can't say that. Thanks." And then we would put the person's name, here. "Thanks, Paul.

I'm really glad you enjoyed the film." And then maybe you want to change the conversation.

So, for example, I went to a film premiere the other day that I was in, acting in it,

and I saw lots of people who I hadn't seen for a long time because the premiere was in

the town where I grew up, and I was sitting at the back, so when people kind of left the

film at the end, a lot of people walked past me and I had conversations, but I didn't want

to just receive compliments. It was nice to find out about them, about their life, about

what was going on for them. So, like, let's take the compliment, but then let's move on

in the conversation. "I'm really glad you enjoyed it." You know, really, really appreciate

it. "Thank you. Glad you liked it." Okay, so, you know, it's just... It's just a simple

acknowledgement. Yeah? And then, bang, off we go, changing the subject. Okay?

So, in this lesson, we've had some nice phrases for your social English, your business English.

Remember, people like to be appreciated, so I wonder if you can give a compliment to someone

today. Yeah? Maybe it's about something particular, about some food. You know, "This food tastes

absolutely delicious." Maybe it's about something that someone is wearing. "Wow, that dress

really suits you. The colours look great on you." Yeah? Try and find things that people

are doing well. Yeah? Let's notice stuff around us. I wonder if you might do the quiz now.

That would be great. And if you're not already a subscriber of me, Benjamin, why not become

one today? Yeah? Press subscribe, get the notifications, and then you can see more videos

that will hopefully help your English. Thank you so much for watching today. I do have

a personal website; there's a link down below. Check it out if you like. See you next time.