Talking at the table ⏲️ 6 Minute English

Hello. This is Six minute

English from BBC Learning English.

I'm Neil. And I'm Beth. In this programme,

we will be discussing the dinner table, but we're not interested in food.

We're talking about...talking!

A lot can happen around the dinner table.

Gossip, arguments.

You might meet the love of your life on a blind dinner date,

or find out you're a great storyteller.

Neil, when you were younger,

did you eat with your family around a dinner table?

We did. Eating at the table

was an important ritual.

It was something we did every day and, quite often,

it was the only time we could get together and chat.

I think there's something very comforting about eating good food

and being with the people

you're closest to, and now

I do the same with my own family.

The kids are more likely to open up,

talk more easily, about their day or something troubling them

while they're eating.

Well, the dinner table is a space that families across the world

get together at to

not only eat but chat, and is often the only point in the day or week

that the whole family gathers together. In this programme,

we'll be discussing how people behave at the table and, of course,

we'll be learning some useful new vocabulary as well.

But first, I have a question for you, Beth.

In 2016,

a couple from Germany won the world record

for the fastest time to set a dinner table.

But how long did it take them?

Was it: a) 25 seconds,

b) one minute and five seconds, or c)

two minutes and five seconds?

Surely not 25 seconds!

I will guess one minute,

five seconds. OK, Beth.

I'll reveal the answer later in the programme.

Now, while eating with a group, you might

feel that you need to act in a certain way

because of the people around you. Philippa Perry, a psychotherapist

and author, thinks we should try to be ourselves as much as possible,

as she told BBC

World Service programme, The Food Chain.

In any group, we find a role.

And if we're only in one group,

if we're only ever with our family, we might think

'Oh, I'm the funny one',

'He's the wise one'.

We might think that's who we are.

And then we go to another group and then we find

'Oh, I'm the wise one'.

And I think if you feel like you're assigned a role in your family,

I just think, take that with a little bit of a pinch

of salt. When you spend time

with the same group of people,

you might start to think of yourself as the funny one or the wise one.

When we say the ... one, we describe a person

by using a particular and prominent characteristic

they have. If you're very tall,

you might be the tall one.

However, Philippa says

we should take these labels with a pinch of salt. An idiom meaning

you shouldn't believe or do everything you're told

or that is expected of you. Now,

over time, interactions at the dinner table have changed. In the past,

children were sometimes seated on a different table to adults or told

they should be seen and not heard – an old-fashioned phrase emphasising

that children should be quiet and always on their best behaviour.

Ambreia Meadows-Fernandez, a writer and founder

of Free Black Motherhood spoke about older generations' reactions

to children asking awkward questions at the dinner table, to BBC

World Service programme, The Food Chain.

So, it's a mixed bag.

It is overwhelmingly positive,

but I also know that it is kind of a bit of a culture shock

for them to hear my children ask the questions that they ask

because our children haven't really been raised with that line of demarcation

between the adult table and the kid table.

Ambreia says

that the older generations' reactions to her children's questions

at the table can be a mixed bag. A mixed bag is a situation that can have

positive and negative aspects. She also says that

it's a culture shock for them – a sense of feeling uncertain

because you're in a different environment to usual.

OK, Beth. I think it's time I revealed the answer to my question.

I asked you what the world record is

for the fastest time to set a dinner table.

And I said it was one minute and five seconds.

And that was... the right answer!

That's not very long, is it?

OK, let's recap the vocabulary

we have learned from this programme, starting with open up – a phrasal

verb meaning speak more easily than usual,

particularly about worries or problems.

If someone is the funny one or the wise one,

they're labelled by that particular characteristic.

To take something with a pinch of salt means

you shouldn't believe everything you're told. Children should be seen and

not heard is an old-fashioned phrase that means children should be quiet

and behave well. A mixed bag means something has both positive and

negative aspects. And finally, a culture shock is an uncertain

feeling because you're in a new environment. Once again

our six minutes are up.

Join us again soon for more useful vocabulary,

here at 6 Minute English!

Goodbye for now! Goodbye!

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